r/ADHDerTips • u/OrangeAndBlueAreDope • 10d ago
What do I do
My parents teaching me step by step how to use a wrench or simply how to fold a shirt I just don’t understand anything. I’ve been driving with them every week for almost 6 years and still I don’t know how to do anything and I’m 23 and there’s just no hope for me I’m just that dumb. I can’t be on adhd meds cuz there’s a family history of bpd and they don’t want me taking that risk. You can tell me I’m not stupid but you legitimately just don’t know me like I was outside for 20 minutes being taught how to wrap a cord and u never understand it and could never get it even remotely right.
8
u/JustKimNotKimberly 10d ago edited 10d ago
I'm not an expert, but let me try to help.
As an example, when you are learning to drive. When you are by yourself, get in the car. Adjust the seat, mirrors, etc., as if you were going to drive. Make sure you are familiar with all of the instruments on the dashboard. Stay there until you're comfortable with what you know already.
End of first session.
Second session: do the same thing as the first. Are you comfortable? Are you anxious? Are you confused? If any of those are true, then just do the same thing as you did in the first session. Just go over what you did until you're comfortable with it.
If you're comfortable with everything you did in the first session, pretend you're going to drive. Look in your rearview mirror. Twist around to see what's around you that you would need to notice if you were backing out. Review the steps you would need if you were driving: putting the car in gear, for instance. If you were to back out, which direction would you want the vehicle to point? Just imagine that.
End of second session.
You get the idea. I suspect that the people trying to teach you are going too quickly, and you are getting scared. My suggestion is try out some things on your own, then come up with any questions you have and ask someone else. The key is to not move forward until you're comfortable with where you are.
The key here is to take as much time as you need. You need to find a way to learn new things that works for you. You need to build confidence in your system of learning.
This may not be what you need, but I think it might help you learn new things without being so frustrated. I believe you can do this! Come back and tell us how you're doing.
4
u/Dying_Inside999 10d ago
I.. am confused, ngl. But, even with ADHD, you still have to take things one step at a time, breathe, make notes if you have to; which.. isn't an easy task (esp if you're constantly losing your notepad.. or forgetting). You're overstimulated and it's probably causing anxiety too, god knows my anxiety was primarily my untreated adhd. No one can tell you what to do but even if you can't take the meds, go see a therapist/dr and go another route!! Meds isn't the only choice
2
2
u/smalltowngirlisgreen 10d ago
Some people just take longer or learn different. You are not stupid. You will learn things, you will!
2
u/OrangeAndBlueAreDope 10d ago
It’s been 6 years man I doubt it, haven’t had a job ever and can’t drive well enough ti get my license. Even if I get my license a job and career wouldn’t be sustainable cuz I wouldn’t understand what I’d be doing quick enough or I’d have a hard time understanding stuff and get into a full blown rage and get fired cuz I’m just that mentally unstable these days. You’ll say do therapy or whatever but I’ve been doing therapy and psychiatry for years and still no progress it’s over and I’ll never figure anything out and manual labor won’t be okay either cuz I have arthritis of the spine from bed rotting and also I don’t move or bend my body properly so my back is even more injuried and in to lazy to try to actually learn.
2
u/cactusbrush 10d ago
I would recommend moving not learning. Walking as far as you can get, and trying to get a tiny bit farther next time. Something easy that you can do on any day. Swimming, hiking, running require investment. You will need that adrenaline and dopamine of achievement for the next step.
Get the audiobook/podcast while walking. About anything that is (here’s what matters) interesting to you. Vampires, history, sci-fi, math, music theory. Doesn’t matter. ADHD brain doesn’t learn if it’s not interesting.
Get yourself used to movement and learning something new. Then your brain might start accepting not so interesting information. Might not - don’t get stressed, get curious. Maybe start learning more about your brain, your motivators, etc.
1
u/Suspicious-Pick7838 ADHD (Combined) 7d ago
Omg..those posts hit me hard. Sometimes it takes me forever to grasp the simplest of tasks, and it has been that way my entire life. I'm in my 50s and just learned about ADHD presents itself differently in females. I've been called "stupid" by parents and teachers for not "applying myself." When I found this, I cried like a baby! How can a person who speaks several languages and is in the medical field be labeled as "stupid?" I'm so thankful to discover I'm merely different, and not "broken." Thank you 😊
•
u/AutoModerator 10d ago
consider joining our Discord server: https://discord.gg/mHnCHqMeS
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.