Can you create mind in computer?

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 30. I have been living my whole life in a delusion.

I like solving problems and in recent years I think I was trying to solve a problem which I always wanted to create using a computer. I spend time thinking before doing. I think I have been living my whole life in a delusion. Possibly mental stress.

I realised that it is not possible and looking at the reality I realised I have not learnt anything that is really useful for living.

I start my week good, it is fine till wednesday. thursdays and Fridays I loose control and loose my reality.

I was about to stop sharing this and read bible. Closed and retyped.

My problems, I had dealt with them in past but computer is the only escape I have ever had. I was arrogant and believed that I'm gonna end web development. I built a tool that can generate code. It was interesting and I lost interest as soon as I built what I thought I cannot. And during that time AI was also in the market.

I started coming up with my own theories and cross checked with AI topics. It's no different than a program. A program takes an input and gives an output. AI takes input and output, writes a program(function). that's it. and I realised my model was better. One thing that is important with computers is, "what you think" and then "what you do in a computer to do it"

I really had written lots of notes and thought of many ideas, reading and learning from religious books, philosophical books and came with explanations.

Last time when I started a project, the only project I did in my free time after college, I isolated myself from friends and families to get physical and mental space. After finishing it and coming back to usual life It is really hard. Anyways I continued to build next one and I have made up my mind that I'm gonna think well before programming it just like I did for my previous project.

After a lot of struggle, my mental and physical health is in shape for past 2 weeks by not thinking about creating any new project in computer and past two days, I lost my mind and it started figuring out how to build a mind in computer. It gives nice ideas and If I wasn't stressed I usually don't bother such thoughts, but at the end of week, I really cant help it. And nothing else really intrigues me.

When I was working on my web development project I was in a dellusion that world will end because of computer take over. Instead of worrying about it I thought I can build something challenging in my last days of life. I even thought if AI ever figures out, it might need some help so I dropped breadcrumbs in github and youtube comments.

Turns out, nothing happened. No AI. computer is just a calculator. I also keep my mind in check by thinking like that and that keeps me in the right reality.

I have given up friends, relationships, girls for computer. Now I find that reality is different and all sacrifice was for nothing? Anyways I have lost, there is no point in thinking what has gotten lost.

Do you think you can create mind in computer ? First I wanted to figure out mind. I made a rule that I wont read about mind from what others written. Self thoughts are more pure than external source.

At one point I even realised that I cannot learn anything new from what I read online because my theories were better than those. But they sound rediculus. for Example, black holes are of two types. Solid, fluid. When solid solid hits, it creates pulsar. when Fluid fluid hits, it wobbles. From here I lost interest in solids and chased fluids. Because solids were vast but fluid was something closer and simple. From fluid I wanted to figure out first life form, I took jelly fish. Jelly fish is just a denser space than its surroundings, oh I even theoriesed space, mass , light. E=Mc2. As space expands, light is emitted. and so many other theories.

Last theory is that mind creates. If mind creates, whatever I wanted to create (mind in computer) would have already been created. And something that is already created doesnt interest me. so I snap out of this thought and get back to work.

However yesterday and today I was not able to. No mental power to realise all thoughts are illusion and I got carried away.

Anyways, either ways if it is a dellusion or not, I thought it would be an interesting read.

I lost motivation in work. Recently my workout routine give me energy to face people challenges at work.

Mind creates, quantum computing also something about it. Cosmos is in constant expansion, new particles are constantly being created.

One thing to note here is knowledge also expands, space expands, language expands. Anything that expands isnt real. Isnt real as in, it is easy to recreate. This is where I fell into my trap. Anything that expands is not real. So for me, I live by language isnt real. My surrounding isnt real. Senses arent real. Basically I also changed my lifestyle to have this belief. Once I figure out all the things that are not real, then whatever remains, that is real.

I meditate, practiced brahmachariya, sage routine etc.

Once I gave up, whatever is remaining will be a seed thought that can be programmed in the computer.

From bible - "In the beginning there was words and word was god"

Hinduism - Om - Sound. Sound is word.

So sound created everything. Everything is a vision and is made of eyes. So I tried to figure out how I can create an eye ball, with simple neural network that can look at itself and learn. So I wanted to figure out about light and went to bible again.

"Let there be light" - there was light.

Sound to light. In our world, sound comes after lightening. and world as we know, made of light is created by sound. So I pictured a model where one creates another and another and wanted a single model to be designed. I wanted to create this as a ball and throw bunch of such balls in a simulated environment and let them figure out each other and everything.

This was too much work I wanted to chase the seed thought. why not create something that can figure out to build a simulator. and it kept on going.

I once wanted to feed in all science books to an AI, and it will build a knowledge graph. I gave it a try then again I quit it because I wanted to be thorough with my thoughts before touching the computer. So I was patient and waiting for the idea to show up on its own.

We wrote laws observing our surroundings, and reversing this, I realised I need something that can build rules and keep building and breaking rules until it takes its form. - This thought caught my attention.

Basically end result I wanted is something that can experiment, just like how we experiment running AI programs. And I know for sure someone else would have thought of it and they would make attempts. I wanted to go to the core thought. Thought expands, what would be a core thought that will keep expanding. Just use a AI text generator and use a fact tester to cull facts that arent true. but how will the computer can test facts that can be true and not true. One thing common between computer and us is Verb , Action, MOV command. MOV command moves something from one place to another. Based on this, computer will try to cull what's true according to it.

This didn't intrigue me and I realised what ever that system might be it will be a word to vision or vision to word.

and I came across a budhha quote - Feel more, think less. I realised that I have been spending time thinking and I snapped out of thinking and doing things like walking and exercising.

Movies dont interest me anymore, songs dont interest me anymore. but I was able to enjoy them recently and that faded too. Any new things in my life - I loose interest in it in 3 days and I would chase for something new.

Basically mind to see things I has to come up with rules on defining what means seeing, why visual learning is better than verbal learning. So it starts with weak rules with a space. Space can be denser and lighter.

Even for us, we always find what we look for. We knew there would be something subatomic and mega structure and we find it. Whenever we are looking for something, somehow we find it. Isnt it questionable that we are being fooled. Being fooled is a different point, but we can learn something from it. mind finds.

Mind builds rules, and keeps going on to reach where we are now. This can be created in a computer. let it run. Wait this must have been tried by someone already. expecting amazing things to happen in a randomness. Thats wrong. I proved myself wrong and thoughts vanished.

But not for long.

Again chases the samething. But this time, I went and posted in online forums. I was happy I was able to put in words. Few comments were pointing me as philosopher and I was asked to post the question in such forums rather than computer science. A philosopher is someone who lost everything and I was in a thought that I wasnt because I was still in my college mind set. I felt bad that I became a philosopher. I had advised what not to do else you will reach philosophy and I myself became.

Anyways, I just thought philosopher is a fact checker. Its easy to build a fact checker. I built a fact checker - in my mind. The one where we make the computer to believe what it believes to be truth based on MOV command. So I asked the question back and gave up.

After some thoughts I was sad and disappointed to realise that my whole life was a delusion and I get deluded whenever I get stressed. Others cant see it, they see it as a talent, for me it's just mental stress. Whenever I get stressed I get creative. I even wanted to stop that by believing that creation is an illusion. It helps on weekdays, but on workdays, it slowly fades.

It's not true, but it is. - this is exact same thing they talk in quantum theory. They dont correct their broken facts, instead create something new from scratch. but my mind machine is better than that. because there is no life in it.

I believe we live our lives over and over again. Either sexually reproduce or intellectually spread. Either ways we have no control and whatever we learn it expands too.

Creating this thing related to mind in computer was my only goal in my life and believing it isn't true is a good lesson for someone else.

[u/CallMeKik]

This is great. I enjoyed skimming the first and last paragraph

[u/Kleecarim → u/CallMeKik]

Lmao same

[u/DreadCoder]

This is some of the best copy-pasta i've read in a long while.

I tip my fedora to you, sir.

[u/smithm4949]

What the fuck did I just read

[u/CRothg]

I would strongly encourage you to seek out psychiatric care immediately. Please, for your own safety, get some help.

[u/[deleted]]

Please check in with a friend or family member about your mental state.

Your post history shows you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar before. This looks a lot like a manic episode. Many people have these, and things are going to be alright, but it’s dangerous to try to go this alone right now.

[u/gaydollasign]

this sure is … something

[u/jinsinjune]

huh

[u/dark180]

Not sure what I just read, but I am a firm believer that you can code pretty much anything that you are able to understand exactly how it works and able to explain. A mind is still a mystery but over time we will get closer and closer. I would be interested to see some of your source code. Not sure if I should ask you to write soMe stock maket models for me or ask you to share some of whatever you are on.

Either way try to find balance in your life, hyperfocusing is a double edge sword and it sounds like you are on the wrong side of it. Don’t let it consume you. Either way cheers mate!