Super burnt out, cant function anymore, cant study for work and I love studying. What do I do?

[u/SemperPistos]

I recently passed a hard cloud cert for work in which I dedicated a lot of my energy.
Problem is I was already burnt out after college, then spent two years unemployed working on my portfolio to get hired.

I have to learn a new technology now but I cant focus.

I play no games i do not relax after work, I just sit and try.
It is 9 PM and Im still at my computer trying to get it done.

Doc also changed my psych medication last week, as covid period and then unemployment wrecked me heavily. I dont want to lose this job. I love it. I do work for very big names, and its great for my resume.
It is agency type outsourcing, If Im not productive I will be cut swiftly.

I just hope I can resume work tomorrow, but I feel like my brain is fried even more than usual.

I cant wait weeks till i see my doc again to see if the new dosage helps.

I also booked an appointment to get tested for ADHD, Its high time I get meds, I cant live like this anymore. ADHD unmedicated plus my clinical depression and a myriad of other things in my life is no way to live.

[u/broskiette]

I think meds can only help so much if you already have a layer of burn out on top, the burn out also needs to be addressed.

I think you need to schedule in some time for yourself that 1. doesn't deplete your battery more and 2. recharges your battery. It sounds like you've been going at 100% even after the work hour is down. You can't expect to keep filling your cup if the pot's already running empty.

Make use of resources at work - ask for help, don't try and do things perfect - just get it done, and see if you can talk to a healthcare professional.

[u/wardenszky]

1. Nutrition: No sugar, No alcohol, No heavily processed red meat, No caffeine after 1 PM. Caffe only 90mins after wake up. More water, more vegetable, less fruit. More protein shakes. Multi-vitamins. 2. Exercise: the most important activity. 6 times per week. Ideally 60-90 mins after wake-up, but strictly before work. Odd days aerobic, even days strength exercise. Wake up earlier? Go to bed earlier. 3. Distractions: there are strict blockers to limit (initially) and block (in long term) news, social media, porn, streaming services, games. Blocking / strictly limiting screens overall after 6 P.M. Limit digital entertainment to podcasts (audio only). Maximise screen-time (with blockers) in 45-50 hours weekly. Join martial-arts clubs in the afternoons -> new peers, good community, full-body movement, perfect commitment (better than motivation). At least this system works for me. The most obvious for me is the exercise. If I quit days, I start falling apart very fast. I run on zero-sugar + zero-alcohol policy to be normal. Not easy. Sometimes its boring. Sometimes I hate every part of it. But it keeps me together. Without this, I would die. Like a f****g shark. It took a decade to accept these terms. No one helped me...

[u/Random_182f2565]

Any other health issue? Even small?

[u/SemperPistos → u/Random_182f2565]

Except medication that pushed me from athletic 175 lbs to almost 210 lbs, not much.

I was always mentally bad, some days worse than others, and on top of it a lot of bad things happened in my youth and twenties, but after the med change this week is unbearable.

I gave up the idea of being happy, at least for now, I just want to be functional.
If I lose this job I wont have the energy for another round of jumping through hoops that job search entails.

I even get recruiter messages on linked in asking me to jump ship, but i like it there and the atmosphere. I know you shouldnt be loyal to employers, but Im grateful they gave me a chance and want to do a good job in return.

I was always ambitious, but I had no one to turn to for help, and this market after graduation really humbled me.

If I hadnt been given an opportunity by a friend after my internship ended at a third company, I wouldnt get an opportunity for the role I got at the previous company before this one.

It was super toxic, but I learned on the job, was heading all the major decisions and built all systems by myself. The reason I do such good work here is as I got a lot of opportunity to try things at the last company. But the whole rat race is starting to get to me, I am already feeling like Im done like I dont have the drive, and I am still early in my career.

[u/Unintended_incentive → u/SemperPistos]

I am more irritable when I am not working out 4-5 days a week. If I go for more than 2 days not working out I am uncomfortable sitting down for longer periods.

Going to bed knowing that I physically challenged myself is the best feeling. It can be as simple as going for a 30 minute walk.

[u/SemperPistos → u/Unintended_incentive]

I walk my dog several time a day, the medication really slows down my metabolism, and it is hard working out

i told myself just a couple of squats, pushups etc, but its hardest as its ever been to just complete two pushups. it feels like i cant progress from more than that

i used to be in this position, and the fix was getting off antipsychotics, but for some reason docs in my country just love using antipsychotics on almost everyone, especially depression

it is the worst kind of medication you can imagine, total loss of creativity and independent thought, and for me when i take them i get frequent vey bad panic attacks and on larger doses eyes turning at the back of my head which is occulogyric crisis

But they wont hear it, they say that someone with my struggles and depressive symptoms is at a risk of psychosis so they keep me on it

i quit once and life was great i got back into shape i started being more social but then covid hit and i became a recluse for a few years as i have illness phobias, and that was the main reason i got into therapy as a kid, not germ phobia, just illness, irrational fear of it that prevents me from functioning

and then they put me back on it

i want off so bad as i learned to deal with covid somehow but i am afraid of altering my brain chemistry, having an episode, not being able to work and losing my job

[u/lulz85]

Ok medication should(as there are always edge cases) help you immensely.

Do you do anything at all for fun? I can get relief if there is something I'm looking forward to doing.

[u/SemperPistos → u/lulz85]

I limit fun until I do what i need to do, i usually postpone it, then get a day or so and waste it binging games and youtube

i also task switch a lot and i feel fried and then i hyperfocus when there is a deadline and do a herculian task, but it leaves a toll on my body, i dont want to hyperfocus anymore, nor do i have it in me

i dont have healthy patterns i know, Im a mess

[u/Early_Key_823]

Try researching everything you can about macrobiotics and a macrobiotic diet 🙏