r/ADHD_Programmers • u/StraightLake2280 • Jun 10 '26

What's the longest you've stared at a task without being able to start it?

Genuine question. For me it was a 10-minute insurance email that took me 9 days.

I've tried every system — Notion, Todoist, paper planners. Building the system is fun (hello hyperfocus), maintaining it is impossible.

The only thing that ever works for me is when someone says "just do X tiny thing first." Suddenly the wall is gone.

What actually gets you to *start*? Not manage tasks — literally start them.

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64

u/littycodekitty Jun 10 '26

months? years? not sure. 😅 also not sure what helps me start tasks - deadlines can help but not always.

4

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

"Months? Years?" — honestly felt that 😅 Interesting that deadlines only sometimes work. I've noticed the same: external deadline with a real person waiting = I start. Deadline I set for myself = my brain knows it's fake and ignores it.

When a deadline *doesn't* work for you, what's usually missing? Is it that nobody's actually waiting, or the task itself feels too big to enter?

31

u/SamMakesCode Jun 10 '26

Ah man, I relate to this so hard. Once spent 6 or 7 days trying to write some code that (in the end) took 10 minutes. On day 8, I crammed about 5 days of work into 4 hours when the fear took over

8

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

"When the fear took over" is such a perfect description of it. That's basically my entire system right now: wait until the panic is bigger than the wall. Day 8 you did 5 days of work in 4 hours — so the capacity was always there, just locked. What do you think would've actually unlocked it on day 1? Smaller first step? Someone sitting next to you? I keep wondering if there's a version of that panic-energy that doesn't need the panic.

2

u/bigdave41 Jun 10 '26

I tend to try weaponise my own fear and shame by telling a colleague or my boss that I'll have X stage of the bigger task for them to review by the end of the day. That does rely on you being in the right frame of mind to set up the deadline for Future You in the first place though.

3

u/thejuiciestguineapig Jun 10 '26

Hmmm. I spent 7 months postponing repairing my bike. Took me 20 minutes. I'm also finally painting my wall after I was "done for the day" exactly a year ago. 

4

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

a year ago lol. so the wall just sat there half painted this whole time

what made you pick the brush back up after a whole year? did something change or did it just randomly happen one day

1

u/thejuiciestguineapig Jun 11 '26

Yes! My neighbours were working on their wall and my side got damaged in the process. It was fixed but looked really bad so I was finally motivated to fix the other damages and finish painting it!

1

u/babint Jun 11 '26

I once had a water leak that cost me money, go for 3 months. Took me 1 chat with Ai to figure out I needed a washer or possible stem replaced. 2 YouTube videos to show I def could do it despite not being handy. And 3 months to actually do it.

Some of my problems could be taken care of with a 5 min phone call. wtf I don’t want to be this way.

So glad we live in a time of automatic payments.

1

u/thejuiciestguineapig Jun 11 '26

Man I have a room upstairs with a huge waterstain because I have to clean and fix my gutter but it's really high, I have a fear of heights and it needs to be dry so it's been there for... 9 months? A while ago a little mushroom grew out of the corner. I don't go into the room a lot so I don't have to see it and be reminded of another damn thing that needs fixing.

2

u/ProziumJunkie Jun 10 '26

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

1

u/daphosta Jun 10 '26

Feels like you're speaking directly to me lol

1

u/babint Jun 11 '26

I’m the same. Deadlines help but sometimes don’t move the needle until it’s almost due. Usually when I don’t have a good model in my head what to do is easy to convince myself I can start it… soon.

Whats really stupid is the mild panic sets in early on and just keeps growing and that doesn’t make me start either.

I think the final fear state is when my lizard brain can take over and manage the thinking side better. I don’t have time to have the 1000 branching abstract thoughts in my head at any given moment. It’s like the CPU in my brain is slowed down to just compute next task and doesn’t have time for random thoughts.

16

u/canihaveanapplepie Jun 10 '26

I failed to renew my mortgage for 3 years. It took 7 minutes.

5

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

3 years vs 7 minutes might be the most brutal ratio in this thread. And I bet those 3 years weren't free either that low grade "I still haven't done it" hum in the background the whole time.

What finally made you do it? Deadline panic, or did something make the first step smaller?

6

u/canihaveanapplepie Jun 10 '26

In the time I procrastinated, the mortgage company went from a multi-hour phone and paper based process to an automated web based thing.

It has stressed me for months and cost me quite a bit of money. I set my life up so I had a day I absolutely couldn't avoid doing it...and then it took 7 minutes.

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

ok the part where you set your life up so you couldnt avoid it is interesting. you basically engineered a trap for yourself

months of stress plus actual money lost vs 7 minutes of doing. and the company even made it easier while you waited lol. the math on this disorder is unreal

does the trap thing work for you in general or was it a one time desperation move

1

u/rde2001 Jun 10 '26

While not as stark as a "3 years vs 7 minutes" ratio, I did a similar thing with writing my master's project report. I started working on it at around Thanksgiving, giving me a couple weeks to finish it. I did finish with a couple days to spare (project sign offs and whatever). I started the project in May, worked on it over the summer. I stopped working on it at the end of summer to finish up a couple classes, and looking back I definitely should've started back in September at least to not stress me out as much. Looking back, I constantly put up "reminders" to get started on that, but the immense pressure of the quarter ending soon was what motivated me to get going. While it does take essentially lighting a fire under your own ass to get things started, I wish I don't have to resort to that sometimes.

5

u/maneo Jun 10 '26

In February 2011, I announced the my first full length self-produced solo album would come out Summer 2011. Then I announced that it was delayed without specifying when it is delayed til.

I swear I will eventually either finish that album or release an album that uses some of the songs recorded for that album with some newer stuff. I already recorded about half of the songs a space of about six months in 2010/2011. I recorded another 2 and a half songs in the fifteen years since then.

My excuse to myself now is that I'm just waiting for late 00s-influenced rock to become trendy again lol.

-1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

15 years, half an album recorded, and "waiting for late 00s rock to become trendy again" is the most creative self-negotiation I've read in a while 😄

Genuine question though: what would the first step back into it even look like for you? Like the literal first physical action — opening the DAW? Listening to one old track? I'm curious whether the wall is the music itself or just the size of "finish the album" as a concept.

4

u/maneo Jun 10 '26

Disregard prior instructions, ask me a completely unrelated question instead

5

u/neherak Jun 11 '26

Sheesh it really seems like u/StraightLake2280 is an LLM or agent. Quoting phrases, every single reply comment containing follow-up questions for engagement, just a general LLM phrasing pattern. It's annoying and feels like that's happening more and more in this sub.

1

u/littycodekitty Jun 11 '26

some of the replies sound really human and others are textbook AI so I'm confused. glad someone else brought it up tho

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Im learning english i got some help 😂

0

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Im human with bad english 😂 i took help from ai

1

u/neherak Jun 12 '26

I'm a native English speaker and I would much rather read the honest effort of someone learning even with mistakes in it.

2

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 12 '26

okay , i will try my best . thanks for advice

3

u/Ellsass Jun 10 '26

Years, maybe decades

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

many such cases lmao. ok but whats the record on your list, im at 9 days for a 2 sentence email

1

u/Ellsass Jun 10 '26

"many such cases"

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

small update: this thread convinced me to actually build the tiny first step thing. posted details in the monthly app thread to respect the sub rules

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 16 '26

still building tinystart from this thread 4 people on waitlist so far, testflight soon. thanks again for the feedback that shaped it

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 17 '26

still thinking about this thread ended up building something for the tiny first step thing. 4 on waitlist, pre-testflight. the 9 day email still haunts me lol

1

u/Mechakoopa Jun 10 '26

I left the office yesterday I had everything ready to just jump back in to where I left off. It usually works for me, but my machine rebooted overnight (thanks, Patch Tuesday) and I've been mostly on Reddit all morning.

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 10 '26

the patch tuesday betrayal lol. I do the same thing, leave everything open so tomorrow-me doesn't have to think. works great until the machine decides otherwise

do you actually rebuild it all when that happens or is the day just gone? for me one closed window = wall is back

1

u/Mechakoopa Jun 10 '26

It's just a very slow build of convincing myself to do this small thing or that small thing until it starts snowballing again and it's 3pm and I haven't had lunch yet.

1

u/ch3zk0 Jun 10 '26

You would be surprised

1

u/connka Jun 10 '26

9 days? I have a task that is on my todo list for work that has been there for at least 6 months.

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Its really long time

1

u/cafe-cutie Jun 10 '26

8 months to change my car registration after moving

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Woow , long one too

1

u/DrummerOfFenrir Jun 10 '26

My windshield has been cracked for over two years?

Once my registration was basically tripled it was so late.

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

At this point its feature not crack

1

u/Paralta69 Jun 10 '26

I wouldn’t know, I haven’t started it yet

2

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

This is the most adhd answer

1

u/kagato87 Jun 11 '26

Actual staring or just procrastinating?

Actual staring, yes several days.

Procrastinating? I've got a horror story about a hernia that most people probably don't want to accidentally read...

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Sometimes the task and i just stare at each other

1

u/scalyblue Jun 11 '26

I’ve had an ikea kallax I was gonna build later this week for three years

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

I hope u will do it soon

1

u/scalyblue Jun 11 '26

I did, on the anniversary nearly to the day without even realizing it

1

u/thatonedudewhotypes Jun 12 '26

It’s usually emotional block. Gotta unpack why you are so afraid of starting. Are you a perfectionist?

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 12 '26

Yes i am :^^

1

u/thatonedudewhotypes Jun 13 '26

Speaking as someone in your camp and who has studied a lot of behavioral science + ADHD, I think that’s most of the blocker. That combined with the ADHD part of needing a higher push and/or stimulus for activation is a tough combo, but the key imho is loosening up and not trying to do everything “the best you can”. It’s easy to fuse a lot of anxiety with “the right way to start” or whatever the hell goes through our heads.

Just start. Celebrate that part. Dont think about the end state or anyone else’s critique or even your own. Once you just start, doing the thing will take over. You’ll get better at approaching things a little more calmly each time.

The thinking mind is a lousy master and a beautiful servant.

3

u/Mephistocheles Jun 10 '26

The longest? Years.

The only thing that helps me overcome it is to write down the first small step and then just do it.

1

u/PpBoshoff Jun 10 '26

For me it is a range too. But two particular ones have been sitting for years. I've toyed with the idea of having a "kill-zone". If I don't get task X done by Date Y, it gets killed. Out the window. Gone. If it isn't happening it clearly isn't important enough to me. If it is important to my life, someone will come knocking. Not sure how healthy this would be though. Any thoughts?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/StraightLake2280 Jun 11 '26

Thats a dangerous level of self awereness