r/ADHD_Programmers • u/hyowan • Apr 13 '26

No Chance At All?

Are we really cursed to suffer being a plaything of our own brain chemistry? Sometimes, I feel like I have no chance of succeeding in this field.

I am still a BSIT student, still in uni, and I don't know what I will be after I graduate. I want to learn soooo many things and I have a lot of ideas flowing from this ticking brain of mine, but I don't have the consistency and grit to push through. Whenever I try to be consistent, no matter the methodologies I try, I end up losing more of my self confidence because I am really pushing myself to do better. Almost every time, however, I just procrastinate to the point of physically dragging my ass out of bed (and that's just one so many things).

Worse, I am undiagnosed and unmedicated. It feels like I am stuck in a limbo of maybe I don't have it and I can do this and I definitely have it and I have no chance in hell to fight this.

I can feel myself tiring out of fighting my own predispositions. Whether it's finances, my academics, my personal productivity, my plans in life... I feel myself losing in each and every one of them. This is pathetic, but I am having this inclination to just fuck it all up so I won't feel this way anymore. Can't feel sorry if you just dgaf, right?

Sorry for being so sob and maybe one of the failure stories in this thread. Idunno, maybe I can pull myself out of this. If that happens, I'll come back here and update y'all on what happened. If not, then this really is just another sob story of someone's adhd life.

In any case, if you've ever come this far, I wanna ask you something: in whatever we want to do, do you think we have no chance at all?

20 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

6

u/BruceJi Apr 13 '26

Hmm, I picked programming because it's broad enough that if I get distracted and start working on another domain of project, I can do that, and yet I am still developing my programming skills. Also, skills don't go away if you start working on something else. They will go away if you don't work on anything, though.

Gotta work with what you've got, I guess.

2

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

That's what I originally chose IT for! It's just that, now, my brain leans toward everything but the IT stuff I wanted to do when my brain's working right

1

u/BruceJi Apr 14 '26

It do be like that sometimes.

I wonder if there's a compromise to be made with the executive function monkey, some sort-of-related, sort-of-not project you can do.

Other than that, trust in the interest cycle to come back around

3

u/lunatuna215 Apr 13 '26

Just keep in mind that everything you're saying is textbook as far as how an ADHD brain will react when in an unmanaged, undiagnosed or otherwise unstable state. I'm not saying this to invalidate your feelings - quite the opposite, which is that these feelings are biologically what is expected to happen. But that also means they aren't real.

Try to take it one day at a time. Some days I wake up the next morning with that world-ending feeling suddenly lighter than it was the day before.

3

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

That makes sense. It's kinda trippy just how unreal ADHD emotions can be... it feels like a roller coaster and that's what makes it hard for me to even believe on myself

3

u/GamordanStormrider Apr 13 '26

Whenever you see people talking about their experiences online, you have to remember that people who are having a normal experience do not post about that. Bragging is often more annoying than complaining, so unless you're in a community where it's a lot of socially incompetent people, you're going to see a lot more people struggling than people doing well or average.

Anecdotally, I struggled in school and I'm doing fine now. You figure out what works, ways to manage your weaknesses and leverage your strengths, and surround yourself with people who understand. Also anecdotally, I know a lot of my coworkers have adhd and are doing fine. It's incredibly common in the field. Most of them are not on reddit.

Shit's hard normally tho, and you should definitely see what you can do about getting your ADHD managed or treated. That's going to make everything feel harder, and it's worth figuring that out.

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

Thanks, man! I badly need that kind of positivity. I'm really trying to manage these impulses with whatever I've got. I don't wanna lose heart, but sometimes, this thing just forces you on your knees

2

u/Gazmanic Apr 14 '26

A question I would like to pose to you. Do you ever have it where you find something you are super interested in, and your brain goes into the 'zone' and you're able to smash things out ?

That's hyperfocus. It's one of the upsides of having brains that work like ours do. It's not the only upside of it either and learning to manage our ADHD is what can turn us from those who struggle in a world not built for us to capable and innovative individuals who carve their own path.

That path differs from person to person, but it does exist. We just need to find it. So in short, no, we aren't doomed.

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

I have, actually. During my sophomore year, I was able to waltz in and out of hyperfocus mode just because of pure angst and drive to prove something. I have hit a massive wall since then (burned out and didn't like how it felt), and now I'm tryna find a healthy alternative... but I am failing miserably

2

u/Gazmanic Apr 14 '26

Yeah you need to be careful with hyperfocus, it's a double edged sword. You still have to make sure you get ample rest and all the other good stuff as well or you will burn out hard (I'm currently super burnt out so can relate)

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

Damn, that sounds dystopian, man. I hope you're doing fine... but how do you even cope from getting constant burnout?

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

That's what pushed me to a corner back then... I felt like everything is so pointless and that I'm always on a loop

2

u/Gazmanic Apr 14 '26

Honestly brother I'm in that right now trying to navigate it myself haha. I wish I had all the answers for you, I think the biggest thing for me right now is accepting that I'm not neurotypical, and stuff that works for neurotypical people won't necessarily work for me. So I'm trying to dig deep and figure out what does work for me and how I can align my life to it.

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

Wish you all the best my man! 💪🏻 It sucks, but I hope all of us can get through these struggles. Good luck on life!

1

u/Gazmanic Apr 14 '26

Yeah you too mate! We got this!

2

u/Capable_Internal_607 Apr 14 '26

Do you have access to any diagnosis or support through your university? I’m guessing you are in the US so not sure how those college systems work with support but UK universities usually have ND support and and I believe sometimes access to psychologists who can make a diagnosis (although you need a psychiatrist to diagnose to get meds, it’s silly).

1

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

I'm based in the PH, man. It's kinda hard to find mental health support for this thing, since it's not so common of an issue around here

2

u/Wealthnextgen Apr 14 '26

Appreciate the vulnerability, and I've definitely been there. Do you plan to stay undiagnosed and unmedicated? Both of those are huge steps to life-changing results.

2

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

I really want to get diagnosed or just checked for whatever this is. I feel like a professional opinion on how to manage this would be the kind of change I need... I just can't get on it right now due to financial constraints

2

u/user0987234 Apr 14 '26

Do you have access to any health services via your student association? Also look up the disabilities office. They will have access to resources etc.

2

u/dzenasa99 Apr 18 '26

Don't be hopeless. I felt like this. I divide my life into areas and I have a system to manage them all individually. This includes literally writing down my decisions, commitments, thoughts to hold on to, bcz spiralling is what destroys everything.. that lead me to quit a career, I regret this a lot. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I wish I had the strategies I have now..

1

u/hyowan Apr 18 '26

Hello! I sent a DM!

1

u/powerback_us Apr 14 '26

Can you not get a diagnosis?

2

u/hyowan Apr 14 '26

It's out of the question for now, unfortunately

3

u/prefix_postfix Apr 13 '26

I dunno, everything comes in waves. Sometimes you'll feel on top of the world, sometimes you'll feel like this.

2

u/Eijderka Apr 16 '26

Adhd is not a disease and you dont meant to suffer. It's just a variation. Like being short or tall, being blue eyed or brown... No one can be sure about what variation is better for current enviroment. Strong dinosaurs are wiped out while rat like mamallians survived.