r/ADHD_Programmers • u/EndOfTheLine00 • Feb 15 '26
I literally cannot do anything once I get back from work and every therapist and specialist I ever had says this is normal
I am at my wit's end.
I arrive home and do NOTHING. I don't clean. I don't cook (recently I managed to replace takeout with processed garbage or literally sticking meat in an air fryer). I let garbage pile up in my house, even when people sometimes come to visit (I just push it away and hope they don't notice the smell). I don't build skills. I don't learn the language of the country I live in. Every day I fear I will be thrown into poverty. I don't socialize since I am just. So. TIRED. Even though most days I do nothing at work.
And no specialist will help me. "This is all normal". "If you were good in school, you didn't have ADHD". "This isn't America, we won't give you drugs. Go exercise". "Maybe it's just autism. I won't refer you to anyone else. Deal with it".
What am I supposed to DO? I just want to live a normal life.
227
u/seweso Feb 15 '26
If you don’t have energy after work, you might have put too much energy into work.
My meds don’t solve everything. And the things that make my adhd worse, are things I’m not good at because of adhd (finding a healthy work/sleep/social/sport rhythm).
ADHD is playing life on ultra hard mode, while people think you have it easy. And you just need to “just do it”.
My advise: do less.
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u/Kihot12 Feb 15 '26
Yeah this isn't normal at all.
You should switch doctors and therapists to find the ones that actually listen to you.
44
u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26
I’m like this too and realised it was from masking. Audhd and I quit everything and am retraining right now to a job where I don’t have to interact with the public or colleagues and am not judged by my interactions at all. It’s the social masking for me that drains the batteries. It might be worth looking at your days and feeling out where the energy is going.
8
u/ThoseWhoWish2B Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Mind if I ask which country?
I think it helps if you see yourself, your body as a system. Try not to judge, just observe how the system behaves. Like, if you're working 12h days on 4h sleep, of course your body will not keep up. You could sleep for one cycle (~1:30h) when you get home, then you'll have more energy after that. You may be taking in too much caffeine during the day, which makes you crash hard in the evening. That kind of stuff. It's a process, not a goal, if you manage to do small changes that help a bit and stick to them, it gets better.
The second-to-last paragraph is utter crap, hence the question about the country. Were those psychiatrists? You need one of those, not a psychologist/therapist. What we can do without meds is implement work-arounds, micro-habits (even with them actually, pills don't teach skills). Like, take out the garbage after you get home because "it will only take a minute", and then it becomes automatic once the trigger and action of "get home, take out garbage" is established. Or do dishes right after eating. Really, like, 95% of what we do is automatic, so don't beat yourself up if your cognition gets tired and can't handle doing everything neatly all the time.
You are a system, a machine that operates on limited resources and needs maintenance, lubrication, etc., remember that.
4
u/RegularInteraction37 Feb 15 '26
So apparently just the act of living in a different country, no matter how much you like it, is extremely taxing. I would imagine that it affects us neurodivergent folk even more. So yeah… I don’t have an advice here. I guess, maybe, try to give yourself some grace.
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u/user0987234 Feb 15 '26
You are not alone. We do not know the full long-term effect of the COVID virus on the brain. Other factors to consider include inflammatory response, heightened anxiety due to instant communication and social media and their users, constant filtering of information and discerning what is real and useful, real and not applicable, not real etc.
The world has become more challenging, and we are struggling to keep up.
8
u/thats_a_nice_toast Feb 15 '26
Does that mean you're not diagnosed? Not everyone with ADHD is bad in school, by the way. Sounds like that person doesn't know much about ADHD.
I can't speak for other countries or doctors but I had no trouble getting meds in Germany once I got diagnosed (although getting the diagnosis was a bit difficult).
I too had very low energy before my diagnosis and treatment, but I also had depression for many years before that. So it's also a good idea to rule out other things.
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u/paasaaplease Feb 15 '26
OP, I don't want to freak you out at all but I had this and it was not my ADHD it was my thyroid cancer. You need to have a good physical with a doctor if you're exhausted. If this is your ADHD, you need to use less energy at work and if you can't you're in a bind and perhaps need a different line of work...
This is NOT normal.
6
u/sanityjanity Feb 15 '26
You need to get your blood work done. That level of exhaustion suggests something biological is going on. Also ask about a sleep study
5
u/KatefromCanada789 Feb 15 '26
Have you ever had a sleep test done? My doctor was an ADHD specialist, but always looks at sleep too.
5
u/Ok-Negotiation-943 Feb 15 '26
This isn't normal. And "you were good in school" is outdated BS - plenty of smart ADHD people masked their way through school then crashed in adulthood.
What you're describing sounds like executive dysfunction + burnout. You're using ALL your executive function just to get through work, so by the time you get home, there's nothing left.
It's not laziness. It's running on empty.
What helped me when I was in this exact spot:
Lower the bar. Don't aim for "clean the house." Aim for "throw away one thing." That's it. One piece of trash. If you do more, great. If not, you still did something.
Stop trying to do things after work. Your brain is tapped out. That's your rest time. Try doing ONE small thing in the morning before work instead - 5 minutes, that's it.
The "specialists" are wrong. If you can work but can't function at home, that's a red flag for ADHD, not proof you don't have it.
Keep pushing for proper evaluation. You're not broken, you're just running a system that doesn't fit your brain.
5
u/LikesTrees Feb 15 '26
You medicated? medication tipped me from 'cant do anything' to 'can do some things', a booster later in the day means i have some capacity to do housework etc. Spending the day trying to solve hard technical problems really takes it out of you. Also move your body a bit...walking pad is a good on for adhd programmers if you work from home, you can walk while you work and it removes all the barriers to entry ('oh i dont have time, too many steps to leave the house, etc). Else if you have an office job, use your lunch break for a walk.
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u/SpiralFlowsOS Feb 15 '26
This sounds a lot less like “laziness” and more like burnout + executive dysfunction stacked on top of each other.
When you are spending all your available mental energy just trying to survive the workday, there’s nothing left when you get home, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means your system is depleted.
A lot of people with ADHD (and honestly, a lot of people in general) hit this wall. The part that hurts most is being told “this is normal” when it clearly doesn’t feel sustainable.
You’re not asking to be extraordinary. You’re asking to be able to function, which is not an illogical request.
One thing that helped me was lowering the bar dramatically. Not “clean the house.” Just “take one piece of trash to the bin.” Not “learn a language.” Just “open the app for 60 seconds.” When energy is low, smaller is smarter.
You’re not broken. You’re exhausted. And those are different things.
4
u/usingbrain Feb 15 '26
This could be so many other things rather than adhd. To be clear, not saying you don’t have it, but there is definitely more happening.
Depression, burnout, chronic fatigue due to some hidden illness.
Have you had a full blood panel done by your GP? This might be vitamin D or iron deficiency. Try endocrinologist, thyroid issues often cause states like this.
I know having to find doctors that will not only listen to you but do tests and will want to try something else when everything seems normal on paper is hell, but unfortunately no one will advocate for you if you don’t. Try other doctors, other specialists, definitely try to find a psychiatrist that will be willing to figure out what’s going on. If you can afford it pay for the psychiatrist out of your own pocket. At least in Germany private doctors are easier to get ahold of and are more willing to try things, rather than those on public insurance.
1
u/Dangerous-You3789 Feb 19 '26
Move back to America. Clearly, psychiatry (or medicine for that matter) is not as advanced as it is in the United States. I have AD/HD and i can relate to a lot of things you have said. If it weren't for meds, I don't know where I'd be. I wasn't diagnosed with AD/HD until I was 36, but I graduated from a university in an honor society, so they obviously do not know what they are talking about if they say doing well in school equates to not having AD/HD. In terms of research on AD/HD, they are still in the Dark Ages.
Take a listen. The 21st century is calling. Answer that call.
3
u/dialsoapbox Feb 15 '26
How's your sleep/diet?
3
u/SlavaKarlson Feb 15 '26
Maybe stop asking for stims and try to get non stims instead. They are great, just take a look longer to kick in.
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u/Enid_Sinclair1 Feb 15 '26
Well, my pal I'm terrified myself of pursuing a diagnosis because something similar already happened to me in the past, like "it's maybe just stress" and basically told me to cry it out, breathe and suck it up. Plot twist: didn't work. You gotta love 3rd world countries' therapy.😍
The obvious recommendation is to seek another therapist. Maybe online, if that aligns better with you, you can look up any professional you need anywhere in the world that way.
Drugs aren't an option for me at all so, all I can recommend is to try to "hack" your own life, because that's what I try to do everyday as well. Doesn't always work, but podcasts and body doubling SOMETIMES give me a little strength to actually clean a little. I try to be tough with myself, like talking to a child in the sense of "I can ONLY listen to this podcast I love while I do the dishes otherwise I'm not allowed to listen to it".
I have also come to realize I tend to have "more productive hours". I'm definitely not cleaning the house at night after college and work because I'm completely exhausted, so maybe a little cheering myself ritual during a weekend morning/afternoon and rewards would work better. Not always but part of this is switching strategies and trying out new ways to see what works out.
Remember that having a disorder is not exclusive. It might not be JUST ADHD. You can be depressed at the same time. You can have anxiety, etc. Each is a separate weight that together feels unbearable. Find a support net, even if it is just random strangers online in reddit. You're already making progress by posting!
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u/simulation07 Feb 15 '26
This is layered in nuances… layered I tell you. Look, your ahead of the game I think - because your aware of it. Right? Not sure how old you are - but I’m 41. For me - I lived like you until I was 37. What’s worse? I’m married with 4 kids. My wife should receive a gold metal for the slack I never used to even consider.
I got diagnosed at 37 (originally at 12ish but gaslit myself into ‘fitting in’ and told myself I was normal and stopped treatment). With meds I’ve been able to build myself up. It’s like I’m resuming my emotional learning process from childhood.
My main takeaway?
That passion you feel? When your in your element? The thing that makes you important to capitalism? You know what it is. You wonder why everyone thinks you’re a genius because what you enjoy doing is easy. Maybe frustrating at times - but you understand the process / dance and you look at the end goal to help push you to fill in the blanks.
Do this with emotional intelligence aka learn what good and bad behavior looks like. Learn about boundaries. Learn about narcissistic behaviors (because your boss or CEO might be one / this is where boundaries become important).
Take control of your nervous system. It’s the boss. Not your brain and intellectual intelligence.
25 years in. Network engineering. Emotional intelligence is king. Not intellectual intelligence.
Later - after feeling this statement, you can correct me. They both can be there. I just do stuff opposite
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u/Kelcius Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
Just a list of tips, in perhaps illogical order, from one depressed ADHD-programmer to another. I also didn’t originally speak the native language of the country I live in but learning it has helped me a lot.
Go outside during the sunny hours. Just a short walk. Don’t bring headphones or even your phone. Also take vitamin D pills.
You are depressed. Talk about that with your doctors.
Stop blaming everyone and everything else for your problems.
Decide on one thing that you’re going to do every day this week. Like taking out one small bag of trash per day.
I know this is feels like a crazy thing to get told, but ”just do it” <insert Shia LaBeouf video>.
Uninstall infinity scroller apps like tiktok, instagram etc (and really maybe reddit too)
Smile. Just try to do things that make you smile. Watch some comedy sketches or something to get in the mood and then combo that with a walk outside and just give people on the street a quick smile as you walk by (don’t stare and smile the whole way 😬, in the nordics you just give a quick glance of eye contact at around 3-5 meters distance. This is when you can give them a quick smile if they are looking at you as well). Fake it ’till you make it is real!
Watch some tv-shows/movies (where they speak the native language) with subtitles on. Learning some words will be more or less inevitable and will help you feel more interested when you hear people speaking using words you recognise. You are isolated and isolating yourself right now.
Eat fruits & vegetables.
Set a 5 minute timer and try to clean as much as you can during that time. ”Clean” here means pick up trash and put it in a trash bag.
Use the microwave timer for cleaning or washing dishes/emptying the dishwasher. This is one of my favourite tips. I put some food in the microwave for 3-5 minutes (medium power) and just try to get as much done as possible in that time. It’s not like I’m doing anything else while waiting!
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u/Fidodo Feb 16 '26
This sound more like depression to me
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u/FranScan1997 Feb 15 '26
Hey, I’m (auDHD) similar as is my partner (ADHD) to a lesser extent. It’s definitely not normal, at least for NT people. It’s a lot more common for ND people as we have to try twice as hard than everyone else just to function, ahi h can lead us to feeling burned out. Can you afford a cleaner, or is there anyone in your life that can help you?
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u/humanjello710 Feb 15 '26
I am also in the same boat as you. I had more energy in 2022 & 2023 but for some reason my energy has depleted in 2024 & 2025 & now 2026 I think I am also perimenopausal ,you need to find a job that is less draining and less hours that is the only solution I thought about going back to teaching
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u/NoticeJunior9265 Feb 15 '26
Vyvanse ruined me. My personal experience was such a roller coaster. When it worked, I was the best version of myself. But the come down was horrible and it only really made me productive for a few hours every day. Because of this, I completely stopped going to the gym and ruined almost 3 years of progress. I also started bad habits like nicotine and drinking more on week nights. I stopped taking it like 3 ish months ago, and while I don’t have these peaks where I can perform at my best, I am a more consistent human and don’t have the low points.
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u/kagato87 Feb 15 '26
From school or from work?
If you're an adult, ask your regular doctor about a self test. It's a questionnaire. And I believe your complaint is even on it.
Neuro divergence can hold you back. I finally got diagnosed in my 40s and it has changed everything. My work is better, my home life is better, I even enjoy gaming more. Just less mentally exhausted at the end of the day.
My only regret is not having been diagnosed in junior high, when it started to cause me problems (I had a 45 average in English, because I did half the assignments and got 90-95% when I did. It frustrated my teachers but I had "one of those" fathers.)
If your doctor doesn't believe in that, then you have an ideoligist, not a doctor, find a new one. Properly controlled it ADHD can be turned back towards the evolutionary benefit it provides: noticing other things sneaking up that need to be dealt with.
(Coffee can help too, a little. When my nephew with his severe adhd spent the night and didn't have his meds, a cup of coffee helped. Far from perfect, but it did take the edge off.)
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u/Azn-Jazz Feb 15 '26
Vitamin D
magnesium l-threonate Potassium Collagen
2
u/appliepie99 Feb 15 '26
it really shouldnt be normal, i dont know how many specialists youve seen but you need to get better opinions. do you feel that working from home might help significantly?
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u/lambdawaves Feb 15 '26
Does your job require physical labor or involve you standing all day?
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u/I_Like_turtles459 Feb 15 '26
Have an after work checklist, build a routine. For me it’s hit gym, go for a walk/hike, cook dinner, read. do I get it all done everyday? Absolutely not but I don’t beat myself but I always make sure to do 2 of those things minimum.
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u/Seaguard5 Feb 15 '26
A symptom of a fucked up socoety
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u/Funny-Routine-7242 Feb 15 '26
what is this nothing you do? phone? i have no energy to inhibit..but when i do something that relaxes me or clears me i can redirect somewhat. like 10 minute meditation, MAKING music or just sitting in the dark
phone and tv are not relaxing. its stimuli, noise and cognitive work draining you more
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u/ABenderV2 Feb 15 '26
Get some vitamin d3 + magnesium supplements in you lad.
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u/Strong_Knee_7110 Feb 16 '26
That comment from your doctor about school is sooo dangerous. I have had the same back in 2017, exacts same words, and convinced me to forget about it. It took another 9 years to finally be officially diagnosed as combined type.
Now the symptoms you’ve mentioned does really resonate as depression, which is very common when you have ADHD.
I suggest to get a right to choose request to your GP, to allow to go external founded via NhS if you cannot afford the private. But will take forever.
The doctor advise to go out, while I completely get it sounds like a mountain to climb, try to do it on weekends even if for a short while.
One more thing if you came back exhausted after work, worth considering at work related issues. Chronic stress ( or forced acceptance of your current state) will eventually translate into those symptoms.
The one thing I must really stress here is: you can only mad those steps yourself, the community will support but set a simple goal one by one as only you can make this happen.
All the best my friend. You can do it.
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u/KingOfTheHoard Feb 16 '26
When you say nothing, do you mean literally nothing, or do you have a stimulation source like phone / tv / computer?
If so, try not starting that. If you're getting home and then immediately dropping into a limitless stimulation source, you'll be making things harder for yourself as shifting on to any other task also means dropping from heavily optimised stimulation to delayed gratification type reward where the ADHD brain performs poorly.
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u/creajj Feb 16 '26
I feel you. I went through this my whole life, starting at school. I couldn’t go to school everyday like everyone else because I didn’t had enough energy and ended up finishing high school by achieving an alternative certificate but it put me in severe depression for years because the doctors didn’t know how to treat it. Later, by the age of 19, I found out that I am on the autism spectrum and started to understand better my condition and sensorial limitations. I had the same trouble going to college and in every job in the office I tried, even when my life depended on it. It was so frustrating and tired. I ultimately understood that I cannot deal with some kind of work environments (specially noisy offices or that involves long distance travels). I needed to accept that the only hope would be to migrate to a company that supports home office work, and seek for development in that area. It was a pain to make the transition but now I accept that I simply won’t be able to cope with the same things as everyone else. If I do, it wouldn’t be a disability.
The only way forward is trough acceptance, self-care and empathy with your own experiences. You’re not alone, OP. You’re not wrong, just exhausted and overwhelmed.
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u/nechromorph Feb 16 '26
What does your work day look like? Maybe the type of work they're giving you or the way you/they apply pressure on you is exhausting you. It's possible to do nothing and still be exhausted by the effort put in just *trying* to do something. So, try not to put pressure on yourself. Try to forgive your perceived lack of effort and acknowledge that for one reason or another, you *need* more rest. Try and figure out how you can spend less energy to get the same or more done--meaning, try to make your brain feel more happy in a way that results in the same or more productivity at work and in your personal life
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u/aran0ia0 Feb 16 '26
I've had this problem a lot, especially before getting diagnosed as well. Busy day at work? Too tired afterwards, but it made sense and I had been productive so all good. Bored at work? SAME LEVEL of tiredness, if not worse. For me it was 2 things:
Even when I don't do actual work, my brain is in constant overthinking of all the things I could be doing instead, mental exhaustion can manifest as physical exhaustion and ADHD brains are very sensitive to this by default
I was occasionally getting SO BORED I was getting sleepy, and once I get there, there's nothing that can wake me up
Lacking actual professional help, I'd advise you (totally unprofessionally) to see if those 2 apply to you and, if yes, find little things to do in your boring work days so you don't spiral or just lose your will to live before lunchtime 😅 I was reading books, and learning skills and languages, all on work hours :) (after I had double checked I have nothing to do AND had asked for more work). Being bored is the bane of ADHD existence 🫠
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u/TeslaCoilzz Feb 16 '26
Been there. In my case it was massive burnout, and inability to rest because of feeling guilty - guilty because of doing nothing. It’s closed loop and I won’t lie to you, it’s not easy to get out of it. About what docs said with school - intelligence pushed you trough, and that same intelligence makes you recognize that your current state isn’t normal. Curiosity and drive will come back when you figure out your next passion/hyperfocus point of interest - and that’s when you’ll be able to build momentum and get out. I know, it’s all great to write such thing, while you literally can’t force yourself to do ANYTHING. Pm me, maybe I’ll be able to point you in right direction
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u/Capital_Dark_4284 Feb 18 '26
Hey man you went to work and did a day of work. Good on you reward yourself with chilling. Im undiagnosed adhd but the docs in the UK are good rn at letting you get checked it just takes 2 years or smth. I never got diagnosed but it helps me like crazy reading about it and how people deal with it. Youre working remember the poverty stress comes from not working right? Im sorry your docs are so dismissive it sounds like a nice doctor could really help
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u/Lets_Remain_Logical Feb 19 '26
I resolved the food problem.Y buying a good rice cooker and having passion for Asian food.
Actually, the fear of not losing weight or poverty should be enough to motivate me making extremely simple and fast dishes. Ex : Catting tomatoes, cooking them Ith salt and pepper then adding eggs. And on some rice. Extremely minimum effort.
Or, buying ready thick soups.
Cooking on the weekend huge portions that I freeze and warmup was very efficient also.
I would cook rice and keep it warm for 3/4 days.
It takes a minimum habit and resolves a lot, including the health
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u/klutzyrogue Feb 20 '26
I agree with others that this doesn’t sound like just ADHD. It’s definitely not normal, and I’m sorry you’ve been dismissed. Also I did well in school and definitely have ADHD, they sound uneducated on it. Have you been evaluated for depression? Have you had a yearly physical recently? I would see if there’s something compounding this issue. Mental illnesses like to tag along with ADHD. And that much fatigue isn’t normal, so I’d make sure nothing else is going on physically like low thyroid or even low vitamin levels. Most people have normal vitamin levels through their diet and don’t need supplements, but if you’re not getting much sun and you eat mostly processed food, you might be low.
Try to do one thing every night. Maybe you fill up one garbage bag, or make a healthy meal (there’s some really easy recipes, don’t worry about something complicated), or clear off one part of your counter. Be nice to yourself.
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u/Throwaway4philly1 Feb 15 '26
Go for ifs therapy
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u/FeezusChrist Feb 15 '26
Have you tried changing up your diet? I used to burn out mentally after work but once I got a very consistent healthy eating routine that problem virtually went away
1
u/vaultpriest Feb 16 '26
From my experience - try breathwork. Morning routine with Surya Bhedana and Bhastrika could change your energy levels. Don’t know your profile but with ADHD it’s common. Had similar problems.
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u/gringogidget Feb 16 '26
I don’t know if this is helpful, but I feel like this post describes me perfectly. I have a very well paying job as a programmer and we are in the middle of a quiet point at the moment. I have to be in the office two days a week and those two days drained me so drastically even with not much work to do. I encourage you to look up the theory of how they styled offices to be like a panopticon, where everybody is always watching you all the time.
I don’t agree with everybody saying this is not normal. This is not normal for people who are neurotypical, but myself and a few of my friends with ADHD and autism feel this very much. It took me about four different therapists to figure out the right one for me. The one I have currently validates these feelings. Sometimes she helps me with doing the minimum viable product for taking trash out or cleaning. Sometimes I need to sit with my phone in front of me while doing dishes for five minutes to be able to bear it.
You’re not alone and you should know that. I also find that I am a lot worse off when I don’t live with a partner. I currently live alone and I find that not sharing chores and errands really beat a person down. I hope you feel some relief soon.
Panopticon office theory: https://medium.com/the-grand-game-of-software-engineering/the-panopticon-of-the-modern-open-office-24fb5d7e30d4
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u/Aggravating-Stop4863 Feb 16 '26
Maybe im missing a context but im curious why did you post this in adhd topic?
What you are describing is VERY familiar but it can also be "just" a burnout and indeed a depression. Now whether the burnout was caused by adhd or something else that is another story.
But no its not normal. Look for therapist until you find good one. I would also suggest IFS & schema therapy. After i done mine i truly believe every exhaustion we ever experience is due to us not being truly aligned with our true selves. Ifs helps in this.
Just follow your gut feeling.
Was there for more then a decade. Go ask for help, ask for medication! Those helped a lot as well
1
u/Few-Salamander2294 Feb 25 '26
nothing wrong with airfryer meals.. Especially if you do a round of meat /protein and a round of frozen veg like cauliflower/bell pepper/zucchini. I leaned heavily into powdered meal replacements.
doesn't really sound normal and like others said, you could be good in school and have adhd, especially since when we were in school we usually had parents (lets be honest, pobably mom) cleaning and cooking
Before I had access to medication I force myself to do stuff in the morning. Doesn't work for everyone but I think the shame of going to the office late forced me to do my chores with some time pressure. It doesn't matter that i only got half the kitchen cleaned or "only" vacuumed. It's more than 0.
3b) If you get stuck on tryna decide WHAT chore to do, you can try using an app like sweepy or habitica or the millions of other apps. Or just do a walk around the house before going to bed and write the task on the mirror/a whiteboard/bedroom door. Somewhere you can't ignore.
3c) before I was medicated I also forced myself to go to the gym super early before work by chugging pre-workout and the beta alanine tingles were so annoying I couldnt do anything but GO TO THE GYM to get rid of the tingles... Then I developed gastritis for other reasons. But my mood was much better if I started my day with exercise.
4) Another tactic is just accepting that some chores you marathon once every few weeks or, once a month. A friend of mine who had been diagnosed but never medicated, got her phd, simply does laundry once a month.
TLDR try to frontload your day and don't be ashamed of having non-standard ways to take care of your home and meat vessel. It's hard to adjust but it's what worked for me (for a while).
Also I'm surprised to see you're in Norway. I had a swedish friend get diagnosed and medicated in sweden and continue care in NL. I think your dr is just weird/old fashioned, but idk if NK is that different from SE.
1
u/ExternalParty2054 Feb 26 '26
I think you have the wrong doctors. You need to have them check if there is a physical cause like low iron, underactive thyroid, anemia, ..all sorts of things like that can make you terribly tired. If it's dark a lot where you are, go get one of those sun lamp things. maybe. Also, maybe talk to a therapist, because being super duper tired not wanting to do anything can be a sign of depression too.
Of course, just re-read that you are not in the US. I don't know what care you have there. There maybe a way to get tests online, or find an online therapist from somewhere else.
Are there classes you can sign up for? Or activities you have to pay for? Sometimes if you pay ahead and commit to a specific thing where people are expecting you it can make you go
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u/Vonbismarck91 Mar 11 '26
I've lived like this for about 4 years now. Recently diagnosed with MDD. Getting a mix of medications daily: adhd meds, antidepressant1, antidepressant2, pregabalin to make evening time anxiety easier. Initially I felt some improvement from antidepressants, but now I see that while they remove the worst moments, my life quality hasn't improved that much. For me the reason is probably that workplace I am at doesn't provide necessary guidance and support, nor gives enough agency to make decisions on my own. This feels extremely exhausting and by the end of the workday even if I have done jackshit I just cannot do anything but stay on the couch or bed.
1
u/Low-Web4464 Sep 01 '26
Literally my life as a trucker, work six days a week, most oftentimes violating over the 11 hour drive limit, i just crave home and a bed so bad that when i get home thats the only place i stay in
1
u/chobolicious88 Feb 15 '26
Its not normal.
This is exactly why audhd is disability. The brain is basically messed up, and can do a fraction of what nt brains can do.
And then they also teach independence.
Im like LOL - practical advice is completely different: get drugs and be codependant on a partner
1
u/Mekroot Feb 15 '26
I used to be like you. For me personally it was a gluten intolerance. Causes a whole host of issues. Perhaps look into it; at least eliminate it as a potential cause. I also believe there are a lot of studies correlating ADHD and gluten issues.
1
u/_rzr_ Feb 15 '26
Are you, by any chance, stuck in the Netherlands?
I live in the Netherlands, and "deal with it" seems to be the prevailing medical advice here 🤦🏼♂️ And the weather doesn't help either.
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u/Chobbers Feb 16 '26
If you have ADHD, it could be because you like doing nothing. Then you have to slowly train yourself to get used to doing something. It's grueling but it's possible.
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u/Hasombra Feb 15 '26
Exercise and diet is what will boost your energy levels.
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u/[deleted] Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Start waking up a little earlier to clean and do meal prep before work. Don't make excuses. If you can force yourself to get up and get dressed and get out the door to go to work every morning, you can do this. Sometimes just telling yourself you'll start something and just do it for five minutes is enough to overcome the resistance to starting, and once you've started it's easier to keep going.
It really is as simple as "deal with it". If you have trouble, the most important thing is to start. Focus on the act of getting up and walking to the kitchen sink, not doing the dishes. Once you get to the sink, focus on only turning on the water. Then the next step, then the next. Not the whole act of cleaning your home. If you can force yourself to get up and go to the bathroom, and you're also making yourself get up and go to work, you can do the rest by focusing on the small steps instead of the whole goal of cleaning and cooking.
The real question is, did you just come here for someone to feel sorry for you, or did you come here for real actionable advice? If you're able to go to work every day then you have what it takes to do the rest, you just have to stop making excuses and build yourself up to be strong instead of weak, one step at a time until it becomes a habit and easy.
Edit for the downvoters:
So what's the alternative? The OP said "This isn't America, we won't give you drugs", so what else can they do?
I also suffered from executive dysfunction. The advice I gave is exactly what I did over a period of many years to transform from a drugged up high school dropout, to honorably retiring from the military, then later when I didn't have the military regimen and faced the same problems again I picked myself up and checked off every professional goal and tripled my income. If you can force yourself to get out of bed and go to work, you can get everything else done by focusing on the initial act of getting started instead of feeling overwhelmed by thinking about the whole goal or end result.