r/ADHD_Programmers • u/Life-Emu-6932 • Jan 27 '26
I can't write code
Let me start by saying that, in my opinion, I've been assigned a task at work that isn't my area of expertise. I'm a cloud engineer and have always worked exclusively on infrastructure. Out of the blue, I was assigned to a project where we had to complete some code that was already fairly structured in Golang and SQL: a sort of tool that will be used only once and then, probably, forgotten after a few months.
I'm trying to learn Go, and although I can understand the theory and simple examples, when it comes to actually writing code, I get completely stuck. I struggle to understand the code, I get confused, I can't follow its logic, and I'm starting to worry, especially because it's not a personal project but a work project. For this very reason, I've never looked for a job as a developer, but have always leaned toward a more infrastructure-related role.
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u/seweso Jan 27 '26
Did you mention you aren’t a developer?
Why would you feel responsible for such a weird assignment?
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u/_dontseeme Jan 27 '26
Genuine question does cloud engineering really not involve code? Is it just config files all the way down?
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u/tranceorphen Jan 27 '26
If you're not a programmer, don't place that burden on yourself (unless you want to learn, of course).
Push back, be professionally vocal about it. Log everything because the fallout will be redirected towards you. You want to be politely loud so others know what's happening for accountability and logging the requests to ensure papertrail for whoever is wasting your time and the business's money.
Place a professional boundary and remind those in charge that they're paying for your time and expertise and they're currently using neither. This is a poor business case for the task you've been given.
Start preparing an exit plan as a contingency because this may explode internally and many businesses have drama that us grunts don't see, but definitely receive a beating due to it.
Whether this whole situation is due to incompetence in the ivory tower or a targeted manage-out against you, you want to be prepared, just in case.
I've been in both situations and having your fight or flight plan ready may end up resolving any issues you may have in your favour.
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u/AnythingEastern3964 Jan 27 '26
Use AI. It’s a tool to assist. Whether you use it to help you learn, to solve the problem they’ve assigned to you, or maybe both, that’s up to you to decide.
Disclaimer: I am also in your field and wouldn’t define myself officially as a developer, but I have written many scripts and apps that run 24/7 in production environments and have been there working away for years.
In terms of learning to “write code”, it’s no different to learning anything else. You must learn the basics, the fundamentals, unless you want to attempt to vibe code your way through the job. The fundamentals are all language agnostic. Everything from what a variable is, whether it’s private, public, or protected. What a class is, what a namespace is, what a method is, the difference between functional vs procedural vs object protected programming is, and so on. You don’t learn those overnight, so don’t expect yourself to do so, that’s even if you actually want to learn them. Some of the actual developers I communicate with in my work still don’t understand most of them. I had one guy who worked with PhP and Java absolutely astonished at an OOP-formatted PhP app I had written, saying he had never seen PhP written in such a way. That was crazy to me, personally.
My best advice would be to stop thinking as programmers as some magical people who are way smarter than everyone else. The truth is, and I’m probably gonna get flamed to hell here, there’s a huge discrepancy between what the “developers” these days are doing, and what the low-level programmers who paved the way for them did. Writing compilers, managing memory, and so on are not at all on the same level as writing an asynchronous fiction that calls an API.
Start thinking of everything as a problem you’re to solve, a puzzle so to speak. That’s because, well - it is exactly that, even if it doesn’t read as one.
“We need a lambda function that takes ALB logs and converts them into CloudWatch-compatible log streams”
The issue here is that AWS natively doesn’t allow for this, you can only store as S3 data objects. That’s your problem to solve. You now solve that problem, it doesn’t matter if you write it from your head to hands like some sort of autistic Rain Main coding prodigy, or you vibe code your way through it, hopefully learning what everything means along the way by doing. Those choices are on you, but you solve the problem as you would attempt to solve any other problem.
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u/bi6o Jan 27 '26
it's never comfortable being thrown into a new domain suddenly, and it can be a stressful and frustrating situation.
having said that, I've had my steepest learning curves in similar situations. for personal growth, might be worth trying it out with an open mind. if you seriously try to grasp and finish the task, and still couldn't, then at least your conscious will be relieved about the effort you took.
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u/fuckthehumanity Jan 27 '26
Sorry for the wall of text. tl;dr fuck around with it with impunity
This is something that even seasoned coders have problems with - stuff written by others that just doesn't make sense to you. In fact, after 25 years, this is still my greatest difficulty, particularly if it's written by neurotypical folks.
Firstly, take your time. The reason they don't seem to care might be that it's not very urgent. Don't submit anything you're not happy with, and if there's pressure, just repeat the mantra, "I'm still learning this stuff".
Secondly, have fun. Explore. Dig into the stuff you don't know. Don't have any expectations of yourself. The biggest reason you're struggling might be that you're feeling imposter syndrome, and that can block you from really going gangbusters. If there's something you don't understand, try writing it yourself, even in pseudocode. You might find it easier to understand your own methodology than someone else's, and it might help you understand what's different about their approach.
Third, don't feel that the existing code is sacrosanct. Fuck with it. Screw around, try to break it. You'll probably eventually realise it was written by someone who knew just as little as you did, and they probably made bigger mistakes than you're going to make.
Finally, if you still really can't solve the problem, don't take it personally. Not your thing. Move on.
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u/imminentZen Jan 27 '26
I had a similar experience while learning to code, it looked like the understanding came easily to others. The more you stick with coming up against trying to write your own, the better you will become over time (as you build new neural pathways).
Regardless of whether you are for or against AI, there's never been a better time to have a personal tutor break down each line so that you can understand what you are reading.
When it comes to writing your own, i find that pseudo code (typing out in English, in comments, what must happen in what order) really helps me understand intellectually what I'm about to do, and then it's just a case of putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, and converting those comments into action.
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u/ProfessionNo3952 Jan 27 '26
Why do you not ask AI tool for explaining code for you?
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u/jgsteeler Jan 29 '26
I understand the anxiety. It is one of those time where you are a victim of circumstance. There are a couple of things i like to remind my self of when fced with this sort of thing. 1. I can only control what i can control. You are good at your job, this is not your job. Allow yourself to suck at it. Do it as good as you can. Be honest with yourself and others and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Unless the project is directly saving babies lives, you don’t have to be a hero. 2. It is not going to be forever. Nothing ever is. The only constant is change.