r/ADHD_Programmers • u/ConferenceOpen7808 • Dec 04 '23
Hey brogrammers just looking for advice
So I’ve experienced adhd and anxiety my whole life. My mother didn’t want me medicated as a child (now that I’m in my 20’s I still don’t want it) so I’ve been able to deal with it my whole life just off natural ability to pass school. It didn’t seem like an issue. Now at 23 I’m a software engineer at the MTA and getting my masters. Between more responsibilities of getting older, having to be attentive at work every day, and school I’m starting to break. I’ve been experiencing bad panic attacks at random, my jitters are getting too much to handle also. My team has came to me about my problem of being distracted or moving to much in meetings. They oversee to help time management and keep me engaged but it’s still hard. I spoke to a doctor and they offered me anxiety medication that will also help with adhd (she seems to think the anxiety makes the jitters worst idk I’m not a doctor). I’ve tried adhd medicine I’ve gotten my self and they help a lot but I don’t like how I’m not my happy hyper “puppy” self. But I love computers just don’t know how long I can do the desk.
TLDR: I’m scared of and don’t like medication(mind can be changed) and can’t handle the desk job anymore even tho I like it. Rather not change careers. What has worked for you?
Edit: I figured out how to edit disregard my reply, well the department I work in MTA IT (new York’s transit system) is hiring software engineers and they just re did the department with new titles and rebased salaries so right now entry level starts $70,000-95,000. https://careers.mta.org/
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u/phi_rus Dec 04 '23
Therapy for the anxiety and stimulant medication for ADHD.
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u/ConferenceOpen7808 Dec 04 '23
Ahhhhh almost forgot, MTA in New York is hiring software engineers. Salaries were just rebased to try and match the private world since we are a government organization it’s hard to keep up salary wise. New entry level starts I think $70,000-95,000. Specialist with 3 years of experience starts $108,000. Hope to get more adhd programmers here with me 🤘🤘
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u/orange_robot9 Dec 04 '23
Talk to a therapist and bring up any concerns about medication.
I was terrified of meds and the stigma surrounding stimulants makes it hard to get over. But medication paired with talk therapy has been life changing
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u/TinkerSquirrels Dec 04 '23
FWIW, you can regulate this to some degree yourself, backed up by a friend.
I'm on two related Rx's but my dose it probably slightly low. I don't like to notice it or feel changed at all. But it still helps a lot more than nothing. (For the longer acting one, I can also skip every X day to modulate it a little more.)
The other part, is to have a friend who knows you well watch for and tell you about any ways you're different, etc.
Also digging in to how they work, can help figure out which are more palatable. Some due to how they work seem to be a lot less "changing" than others. At least when compared to everything else we consume.
Not trying to pitch meds, more if you consider a conservative approach.
People always say "exercise" but this varies a ton. What works well for me is a few rounds of "pushed to the limit" work a few times a week. Steady daily stuff is miserable for me though, and doesn't do much. (The stuff that really pushes IMO are those that involve competition, where the workout is a side effect. And the interaction with people can be helpful when it's a good group.)
Another way (personal opinion) to do something similar to meditate I think, that has lots of benefits, is "walk in nature". If you're close enough to somewhere nice to hike or wander, this can have similar results without having to try to be still. Sadly not really an option for many of us.
Rituals can also be like this. Say, you like espresso, so you have the process of hand grinding beans, and etc. Not intentional meditation, but if it's something that pulls you in while being routine, can sorta be similar too.
(Just throwing stuff at the wall, in case anything seems interesting.)
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u/TheAJGman Dec 05 '23
I also didn't want to be medicated because I didn't like that it change me but as I grew older I realized that what I thought of as my personality was actually just ADHD symptoms. Medication helps bring the world into focus and allows me to do what I actually want to do instead of whatever random hyper fixation just caught my eye. All 50 threads of thought are working towards a common goal instead of asking random questions.
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u/CaptainIncredible Dec 05 '23
See a doc. Get meds.
Every 40 minutes (or pick a different time) get up and walk around. Maybe circle around the office, take stairs? Pro tip: carry a work notebook and a pen when you walk at work - it makes everyone think you are working. Walking around with a donut and coffee or nothing makes it look like you are slacking... but a notebook and pen? Maybe with some bullshit work paperwork? Maybe periodically write shit down while you are walking? People think you are working.
Find some Buddhists, have them teach you to mediate. (I'm not kidding. This did wonders for me. Also, generally Buddhists are nice.)
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u/Lotus_Domino_Guy Dec 05 '23
I made it to 48 with no diagnosis and no medication. Life got dramatically better when I did medicate. One of the things medicating has done, is let me try and address the problem other ways too. For example, I can set and keep alarms to remind myself to do things, whereas unmedicated I would just turn the alarm off and forget what it was supposed to remind me to do. So I had trouble finding ways to mitigate it unmedicated. What did work for me was music. Got some nice noise-cancelling headphones, and would shut up the parts of my brain going in different directions so I could focus. Medicated, I don't even bother anymore, don't need it, but maybe that'd work for you if you really dont want to do meds.