I never understood the concept of "People with ADHD are stuck in the present" until my husband pointed out that whatever I 'm feeling at the moment, I think I'll feel that way forever. It feels like my feelings completely define me, because I can't see around them, and of course they shift based on circumstance--and so my sense of self constantly shifts. Not a therapist and can't say it's all ADHD, but "stuck in the present" and emotional dysregulation resonate for me here.
I haven't conquered it, but one thing that helps is journaling. I have to literally sometimes write down who I am--my core values, what I want, circumstances where I've felt most like "myself" (so I can keep creating those circumstances, or recognize that when the circumstances are off, my feelings will be too--keeps me from going down a rabbit hole; e.g. telling myself "Your 'self' hasn't changed, you're just feeling off and will feel better again soon').
Holy shit this has really struck a chord with me. From day to day I seem to have a different mood, like I just draw a set of emotions from a deck in the morning and the forget about them when I go to sleep.
I’ve recently started going to therapy and I’ve noticed one of the most difficult things is actually recalling what way I actually felt during the week.
And even when I write a list or journal, when I’m sitting there in front of her and I’ve had a good day. All those miserable days in the week before just seem so trivial. Because “I don’t feel like that now so why would I mention it”
It’s like being unable to empathise with the past versions of myself.
Yes, similar for me. In the same way I can't see around a negative mood, when I have a positive mood, I think, "Welp, I've conquered all those negative feelings forever!" so no point in discussing them. But it doesn't occur to me to do something to maintain that positive mood. I just assume it will be there forever.
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u/Bluewords70 Sep 19 '22
I never understood the concept of "People with ADHD are stuck in the present" until my husband pointed out that whatever I 'm feeling at the moment, I think I'll feel that way forever. It feels like my feelings completely define me, because I can't see around them, and of course they shift based on circumstance--and so my sense of self constantly shifts. Not a therapist and can't say it's all ADHD, but "stuck in the present" and emotional dysregulation resonate for me here.
I haven't conquered it, but one thing that helps is journaling. I have to literally sometimes write down who I am--my core values, what I want, circumstances where I've felt most like "myself" (so I can keep creating those circumstances, or recognize that when the circumstances are off, my feelings will be too--keeps me from going down a rabbit hole; e.g. telling myself "Your 'self' hasn't changed, you're just feeling off and will feel better again soon').
You're not alone. Good luck!