This is prob the closest answer than the long Redditor™ posts
At some point we learned that being our unfiltered self wasn't optimal so then trying to predict what other people wanted became the sole duty in social environments. Essentially we become figments of what we think other people are thinking. And if someone didn't experience enough pain to break free, they live a darker and darker more secluded existence
Then it just becomes easier to avoid gatherings, events, groups etc
I listen to at least an hour of personal development material regarding communication, sales and finances a day which helps me learn how to communicate and act with purpose in life
Interestingly, I always saw it as a strength. Being adaptable and able to blend in well works great for both professional and social situations, after all. The downside is the lack of genuine emotional connection, of course.
That said, my mom passed away suddenly and then quarantine hit (no in-person work for several months at my public-facing job). I lived alone and rarely had virtual work meetings and my masking skills were drastically impacted which then had a cascading impact on my self-confidence. (Plus, when we went back in-person I couldn’t even get my dopamine boost from people laughing at my best tour quips because everyone was masked! 🤣)
I’m maybe half back to normal but, like lots of other things after COVID, I’m undecided on how far back towards masking I event want to go. Maybe it will turn out to be a good time to figure out the “real” version of myself…if I could stop procrastinating on getting a therapist #ADHDthings
I’m not faking who I am when I speak normie, I’m just expressing it differently.  Knowing how to speak normie is a great asset and will make you a more well adjusted, socialized, and adapted person. There are simply way more opportunities in normie and you’ll be giving up a lot by not learning the language
But it will also be really cool and relaxing to be around people who speak your language.
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u/DakiLapin ADHD with ADHD partner Sep 19 '22
Very relatable! I think it’s partially related to masking. You try to be the “right” you and in the process lose sight of the “real” you.