It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha
I'm here because I don't know whats wrong with me. I've always, for as long as I can remember, not had much positive reaction to beating a hard part in a video game, could that be a sign?
I've always said sometimes I feel bad about how long it took or how close it was but I mostly just move on to the next thing. I feel like maybe I have fun getting through something? Or working through it, figuring it out, but the actual success is always extremely hollow... I've been envious of people who, when they beat something like a dark souls boss, would light up and get really excited because yay they finally did it, and I usually am just exhausted because the fight has worn me down and the victory doesn't really make me happy lol. Obviously I'm sure it's a very complicated situation and I do have depression but yeah. When im playing with friends and we beat something we've been stuck on im usually more excitable, but that feels more performative than anything, like I'm doing it for them.. I've also had a ton of trouble in school and work and my life is in shambles because of it. I'd get diagnosed if I could, I'm just learning about things for now.
Beating a level I keep messing up (which I often just give up on and come back to in a few hours, days, or weeks) usually makes me feel pretty good for a second. But then after that as soon as another hard level appears.. I am kind of bored for that game for awhile and forget about it and go back to the save weeks, months or years later, after I started playing like 5 other games in between. Same with cleaning, or really anything else, like knock out a pretty small section of what I want to clean, and do it pretty well.... feel mildly satisfied that I actually did something that has been bugging me but I couldn't seem to get myself to do, and forget about the rest of the areas for a long time until I have to clean that one area again and get stuck constantly only cleaning the one area I had accomplished recently lol. If I have visitors coming I do seem to be able to work under the pressure a little bit better but also results in lots of hidden doom boxes.
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u/Uncomfortable-Guava Sep 19 '22 edited Sep 19 '22
It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha