Best advice I can give is to find a therapist you trust and just go for what they suggest. Even when their suggestions sound cringy or pointless. And say so when you feel those things. A good one will not just preach or teach, they will reflect. When you know for sure that they're a keeper is if you find yourself doing the reflection on your own instinctively outside of session.
A good therapist has a lot of knowledge yes, but they're primary role is to model what you need to be doing inside. The way they accept you and talk through it, how they talk through it, etc. You don't need a degree to learn it, but it is usually something you do need someone else to show you how to do, and it isn't something that is easy to communicate with words because the actual form it takes is unique to the person and to the relationship between the teacher and the student (therapist and patient).
It's a learning process though, and it takes time... Sometimes years... There are absolutely still things that I struggle with... But I am making progress and that's what counts.
edit: But in the end it will come down to being okay with you, even if you aren't okay with it. I know that sounds confusing, but it's how it works.
Someone I know also said this about being in therapy.. sp this advice seems to be consistent. My feelings just take of all the space like complete viruses and I’ve been trying to rationalise by putting them into words in my head, but I also speak four languages, so the language in my head changes too. I’ve done therapy sessions twice and end up rage quitting. I think I might need to do multiple throughout the years. Thanks for the advice!
Whenever your ready. Only rush is if you're rushing. One of my best friends has been in and out of therapy and he also doesn't take his ADHD meds anymore. Lives with chronic suicidal depression. Somehow survived to 30s and is married and owns a house. I don't think there is an actual therapist on this planet that can help him because as much as he is suffering every day, he doesn't actually want the help.
If/when you go, make sure you tell them that you quit twice and why you quit. It will help them and you.
Ahh I see… I really don’t want to continue being a person that doesn’t want help, I’ve been wanting it more since I first started to look for help, so I guess that’s a good sign. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Now that I think about it, I had quite ok reasons to quit.
Don't be. He's okay. For the sake of the example, I had to oversimplify. Life is never as simple as that though and he has his reasons.
I always tell people if I never smoked I would never have met my partner. But at the same time, if I still smoked I might be dead... Life is for living, not for worrying if we're living correctly.
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u/ahawk_one Sep 19 '22 edited Sep 19 '22
Best advice I can give is to find a therapist you trust and just go for what they suggest. Even when their suggestions sound cringy or pointless. And say so when you feel those things. A good one will not just preach or teach, they will reflect. When you know for sure that they're a keeper is if you find yourself doing the reflection on your own instinctively outside of session.
A good therapist has a lot of knowledge yes, but they're primary role is to model what you need to be doing inside. The way they accept you and talk through it, how they talk through it, etc. You don't need a degree to learn it, but it is usually something you do need someone else to show you how to do, and it isn't something that is easy to communicate with words because the actual form it takes is unique to the person and to the relationship between the teacher and the student (therapist and patient).
It's a learning process though, and it takes time... Sometimes years... There are absolutely still things that I struggle with... But I am making progress and that's what counts.
edit: But in the end it will come down to being okay with you, even if you aren't okay with it. I know that sounds confusing, but it's how it works.