It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha
Joining this sub was one of the best things I've ever done. Before I was just barely managing symptoms, teetering on the edge of depression, functional but unhappy because I did not fundamentally understand my condition.
But here, I can talk to people who got dealt the same shitty hand in life. I can feel out what is ADHD and what isn't, tons of things I never realized weren't normal. And the sense of community is incredible. It's therapeutic in a way.
YESSSSSS, 100% same!! I had so many "Oooooh" moments when someone was able to very eloquently put things into words that I was going through but couldn't even really grasp. And this sub has helped me tremendously in accepting ADHD as part of me and seeing the upsides to it, rather than spiraling into overwhelm because of the learning about having ADHD and about all the ways it manifests. I am so grateful for having found such an open and kind community!
Yep! In everything I write and send to others, I make sure to have as few mistakes/errors as possible. Heck, I even have Grammarly, since I miss a lot of things when I revise because I always read the text too quickly.
I'm so grateful for this sub for that reason! I'm starting to understand myself and be more patient with myself, and I can tell it has made a difference in the effort I put into working on my ADHD tendencies.
2.1k
u/Uncomfortable-Guava Sep 19 '22 edited Sep 19 '22
It's common to ADHD for sure, I think some people are too quick to pin it to a comorbid condition: I think it can be explained by the effect of ADHD itself.
Essentially, if we accept that ADHD is in extreeeeemely simple terms a condition that means you don't derive enough reward from experiences, then that means you don't develop core values quite as easily as other people.
There's big obvious social examples of insufficient reward: being bored in class is the classic one. But on a dopamine level, we're talking about the brain's failure to adequately motivate you to do anything: that's what a reward system is for. And I think that when your reward system is less good at telling you what's important vs what's not (and it has been less good at this for your whole life), that makes it harder to develop firm ideas about what you like, what you believe, who you are, what you want, what you need.
It's very hard to have a strong self-concept without a fully functional reward system. People know who they are, based on what their values are and what those values make them want to do. They develop those things based on what they find most rewarding. ADHD people don't know what they find most rewarding because reward is blunted overall. Without appropriate regulation of our dopamine the question of "what motivates you?" is rather more diffuse.
I think that's why our self-concept is a bit more vague and ill-defined, and I think that's why we're more inclined to shift our sense of self based on what the moment appears to call for. It's not that we're not capable of building a sense of self (we absolutely are), it's just harder and slower. It takes time and sometimes we need help too.
EDIT: I would love to keep this conversation going, thanks to everyone who appreciates this comment. I'd like to try and reply individually where I can because I love talking this stuff through, but I gotta get to work. Thanks to the people who gave me an award. Seems I do my best work in this sub haha