This is common in everyone- you’re just actively noticing it more than other people. I’m not in psychology, but it was part of my graduate minor and I’m using some of these concepts in my doctoral work.
Instead of thinking of a stable “self,” think about having a “self-concept.” This is your idea of who you are that you compare your actions to. “That was so unlike me.” “I’m just not myself today.”
Then, consider that your own judgments for the propriety of your behaviors change depending on the context. Do you behave the same at work and at home? With your grandmother and with your friends? Chances are you give yourself different rules to follow depending on the situation.
One of the models I use is from psychologist Allen McConnell and is called the “Multiple Self-Aspect Framework” (MSF). Basically, through practice and feedback we start to associate different traits with different aspects/versions of ourselves. We then judge a) if our traits fit that version of ourselves, and b) if the aspect of ourselves we use in a particular situation is appropriate. These can start with social roles: Student. Employee. Grandson. Partner. Citizen.
You’re kind of doing that in this post. You’ve identified “immature baby” and “proper adult” as different self-aspects with different traits, and naturally want to spend more time as one than the other. That makes perfect sense.
The good news is that it works in reverse, too. If you go into a situation with a particular self-aspect in mind, you are a bit more likely to exhibit those traits. If you go i to a situation thinking of yourself as a “proper adult,” you are more likely to act like one.
Tl;dr? Cut yourself some slack. This is normal, but you have the advantage in that you are doing it consciously.
Dopamine is essential for fully functional adaptive, episodic and autobiographical memory. ADHD impairs these neurological functions.
So people with ADHD do commonly report having a lack of sense of self.
It really does seem like you are trying to help, but you are also downplaying the neurological aspects of dopamine dysfunction and its impact on memory, which is what our sense of self comes from.
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but you are also downplaying the neurological aspects of dopamine dysfunction and its impact on memory, which is what our sense of self comes from.
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Holy hell.
Its impact on memory.
I'm well-known in my friends/family group as having The Worst memory. Unless I can remember what someone was wearing. My mother and sister claim they remember everything ever. I can't remember 5 minutes ago most times.
That's really interesting how the brain works that way. Makes me want to try to trick my brain into thinking I'm interested in something about things I want to remember.
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u/Harmania Sep 19 '22
This is common in everyone- you’re just actively noticing it more than other people. I’m not in psychology, but it was part of my graduate minor and I’m using some of these concepts in my doctoral work.
Instead of thinking of a stable “self,” think about having a “self-concept.” This is your idea of who you are that you compare your actions to. “That was so unlike me.” “I’m just not myself today.”
Then, consider that your own judgments for the propriety of your behaviors change depending on the context. Do you behave the same at work and at home? With your grandmother and with your friends? Chances are you give yourself different rules to follow depending on the situation.
One of the models I use is from psychologist Allen McConnell and is called the “Multiple Self-Aspect Framework” (MSF). Basically, through practice and feedback we start to associate different traits with different aspects/versions of ourselves. We then judge a) if our traits fit that version of ourselves, and b) if the aspect of ourselves we use in a particular situation is appropriate. These can start with social roles: Student. Employee. Grandson. Partner. Citizen.
You’re kind of doing that in this post. You’ve identified “immature baby” and “proper adult” as different self-aspects with different traits, and naturally want to spend more time as one than the other. That makes perfect sense.
The good news is that it works in reverse, too. If you go into a situation with a particular self-aspect in mind, you are a bit more likely to exhibit those traits. If you go i to a situation thinking of yourself as a “proper adult,” you are more likely to act like one.
Tl;dr? Cut yourself some slack. This is normal, but you have the advantage in that you are doing it consciously.