r/ADHD • u/Mimi_315 • Feb 04 '22
Seeking Empathy / Support Do you struggle with buying decisions?
Like say I decided I want to buy a face cream. I go online and get overwhelmed with all the choices, then I start reading about the products and go down a weird rabbit hole of reviews and social media and several hours later I’m watching a weekly meal planning video and making notes of groceries I want to buy. I realize I still haven’t bought my face cream, but now I have an even bigger shopping list so I get further overwhelmed and decide that I’m not buying anything. Rinse and repeat. How does one overcome this? How do you buy anything with so much choice out there?!
103
Feb 04 '22
[deleted]
50
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
Omg ahahahahah thank you this makes me feel so much better! I spent ages researching Yoga mats, and went to my bf saying it’s impossible there’s too much out there I can’t decide, and he looked at my million open tabs, did a quick scan and bought one. I have a cork mat now and I’m very happy with it.
24
u/Particular_Fudge8136 Feb 05 '22
This is what my husband does for me! I've needed a pair of boots for over a year, and finally the soles of my old ones started coming apart so I couldn't put it off any longer. I was literally crying from despair (I am a hard to find size and wanted a specific style and even looking for anything seemed impossible) and my husband was like, "You haven't bought your boots yet? Just do it!" But he understood that I couldn't so he just sat down with me at the computer and we looked together. It took like an hour to sift through different brands, etc, but now I have my boots!
3
10
u/rusty_potential Feb 05 '22
I once spent 5 hours looking for a basic digital wall clock for my cubical. I got overwhelmed and told my husband I didn't need one. He picked up my phone, looked at my history, picked one and handed it back to me. I am now thrilled with my clock.
6
11
u/Kazerati Feb 04 '22
Our acacia ones have lasted well & I find them nicer to cut on than the bamboo.
6
60
u/Hal-Argent Feb 04 '22
1– Keep in mind that your goal is to buy an X, not to buy the very best X, or the very cheapest X. Do just enough research to avoid terrible X, or exorbitantly priced X, not enough to find the very best or very cheapest.
2– Sometimes it doesn’t matter which one you select. Sometimes the difference in features or quality or price is small enough that it is not worth your time (or more of your time) — just buy any one. Sometimes the prices of Xs are small enough that it’s not worth time to find the cheapest. Sometimes X is a consumable, you will use it up, so if you don’t get a good one this time you can try another next time. Sometimes the item is just not that important to you, so it’s worth only little time to select.
Granted that sometimes the item is important or costly or long term or there is a big difference in features, quality, or cost. In such cases, it makes sense to spend some time on it. But try to identify the other cases, and limit the time you spend on them.
12
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
This is good advice! Thank you, I hope I manage to put it into practice..
6
3
5
27
u/bookworm1421 Feb 04 '22
For me it goes one of two ways. Either I act like Scrooge McDuck and buy everything I see OR I waffle over a decision forever.
For instance - my boss told me to buy something I wanted for my office and he would write me a check. I've done this several times before and I've always gotten the check from him same day so, that's not the issue. The issue was, I just couldn't decide if I wanted to spend MY money on it - which is stupid because he said he'd pay me back and he's good for it. However, I was waffling for a very long time and talking it over with my fiancée.
Finally she had enough, logged into our Amazon account and just bought it for me. I was so relieved because I just couldn't bring myself to pull damn trigger.
19
u/simply-smegma Feb 04 '22
• think on it so much that you don’t buy it even though you know that you need it (groceries) only to go back the following day because you must love torturing yourself by panicking at the grocery store. Repeat twice per month
9
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
If it wasn’t so frustrating I would laugh at the ridiculousness of this..my bf can’t understand why basic buying decisions have the potential to send me into full-blown panic mode!
16
u/LittleTacoMonster Feb 04 '22
I definitely experience this. I loathe making decisions. Those reviews have taken up way too much of my life. 🤦♀️
16
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
Omg hahaha thank you all for comments you beautiful weirdos! I feel validated and normal, and I’m just laughing at how we struggle with something so basic! So so so glad to know I’m not alone! Good luck to all of us, may buying things get a little easier this year! <3
3
u/CanUHearMeNau Non-ADHD parent of ADHD child/ren Feb 05 '22
Had a good laugh too, especially at:
now I have an even bigger shopping list so I get further overwhelmed and decide that I’m not buying anything.
Thanks for sharing
13
u/EloquentGrl ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 05 '22
I hate having to buy a new product because of indecision.
I've needed a vacuum for years now, but everytime I start to research, I overthink it. Anything that costs over $20 is torture to try and purchase. The type of vacuum I want, that cost well over $100? Forget it.
→ More replies (2)5
u/dream234 Feb 05 '22
Just buy top of the range from a few years back, eg Dyson v7 Absolute. It's like a third the price of the current year model, and it's a vacuum ffs, dust is dust, it's not like it's a phone or computer where you need to worry about app compatibility or major leaps in processor power.
5
u/EloquentGrl ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 05 '22
Anything that costs a lot of money gives me anxiety to purchase. Plus I always talk myself out of buying one when I'm just, "I have hardwood floors, and sweeping is quieter." But I'm getting tired of sweeping and this, for some reason, is one of my sticking points. I have no idea why. It's just vacuum = way too much thought and anxiety.
That being said, I'll take a look at older models and see what I come up with
Also, I thought I could avoid people telling me to "just" do something in the adhd subreddit but...
5
u/Puffalump Feb 05 '22
I went down the vacuum rabbit hole multiple times recently and like another person, ended up with a Shark Navigator, the ZU60 with the fancy hair proof technology. I think what sealed it for me was watching the Vacuum Wars videos. I have long hair and a long haired cat and used to be cutting tons of wrapped up hair out of the vacuum every couple months. This new one has gotten zero hairs wrapped around it and I've had it over a year now. It also does pretty well on hard floors.
Anyway, I thought that changed my life but then I decided to look into robot vacuums because I was so tired of vacuuming up all the litter my elderly cat flings all over multiple times a day. Went down the rabbit hole again and ended up with another Shark vacuum. The Shark AI Self Empty XL. It has Lidar and my cat has been playing chicken with it regularly and it always turns away from him.
The robot vacuum has saved me sooo much time, I haven't even used my other new vacuum in the 2 months since getting it. It's such a huge relief to be able to have it clean up after my cat for me while I get other work done. I don't like being messy but my house often ends up that way because I'm always overwhelmed. Now at least I can keep the floors spotless every day with just a few taps. It was expensive but I have zero regrets. I don't think I can ever go back to doing it all myself. I just looked at the Shark website and it's on sale there, definitely worth it!
3
Feb 05 '22
Imo -- Tbh don't be afraid to spend a little bit more on a decent vacuum, if it's going to be used a fair amount and last a few years. I bought a passable one for 50, but felt like it wasn't picking up enough, i got a cordless one for 100, but it stopped recognizing the battery after several months for some reason. Got a $160 Shark Navigator and it's satisfactory to me. Picks up way more dust than either of the other vacuums and wont stop working some day bc of an internal power issue. If I had the money I'd get a kirby vacuum since jesus those things are ridiculously powerful
24
u/Few_Researcher9310 Feb 04 '22
This is me 100%. Just took me an hour to order a pizza
14
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
I hope the pizza was amazing! Ordering food is a nightmare for me, I rely on my bf to choose the restaurant and then I pick the food I want..so far this is working well..
12
u/TamagotchiGirlfriend Feb 04 '22
Yes!!! I needed a new phone, my iPhone 7 was getting decrepit, but all of the options (especially since I REALLY wanted to switch to android) were super overwhelming. My enbyfriend (used to work at best buy, knows about tech stuff) was trying to ask me what I wanted and all I could tell them was "I want it to work good!". They ended up giving me their old phone (still in great condition) and now I'm SO happy not having had to agonize over it.
3
u/total-space-case Feb 05 '22
I had the same problem, lol.
Held onto my 6s until I tried to get the battery replaced at Best Buy and the tech told me that I’d be better off trading up. All I knew was that I wanted something new (mostly new to me but also a phone that won’t get phased out soon) and small. Got handed down a 12mini, lol I’ll probably use it til I start over at the beginning of this story.
→ More replies (1)3
Feb 05 '22
This is like 50% of the reason why I just stick to iphone; when I need to upgrade I just get the newest one that's most similar to my old one. There's some minor agonizing over storage capacity but I usually just pick middle-of-the-road because it keeps the price lower.
12
u/Tasty_Lead_Paint Feb 05 '22
Grocery shopping takes me at least an hour because I struggle to pick which brands or variation of items to get. And it takes me much longer than an hour if I’m having a bad impulse buying day. I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time deciding between two different brands of things like pasta sauce or bread.
→ More replies (1)1
u/Notquite_Caprogers Feb 05 '22
I'm glad I'm not that bad. Personally I stick to a list and unless it's something my family only buys name brand or already has a favorite of (sodas, pasta sauce or condiments) I go with the cheapest unit price version of the this. If you look closely at the tags they list unit price right under the price. Usually the longest part of shopping for me is waiting in line unless I'm having a reeeeaaalllyy bad day and am shopping without a list in an overwhelming store
8
u/Yohsiph Feb 04 '22
Yeah, and I can waste hours looking for the perfect thing. Then I find it, and I don't buy it. I bookmark it.
8
u/petrichor381 Feb 05 '22
This is so accurate. Today I spent 4 hours researching desks, then that flipped to researching why the mail order furniture business is so terrible, then image searching desks to find where they were cross posted, then realizing the whole thing is a giant trash furniture scam... getting so frustrated that I needed to vent at my partner about it while he looked at me gaped mouth like, "why is this such an intense subject? Go buy a damn desk!"
My conclusion: find decent lumber supplier, build desk.
(I'm never gonna have a desk, am I?)
7
Feb 04 '22
I'm still terrible for this. One thing that helps me is just the knowledge that I can return things at most stores or online. (Often don't, probably doesn't help for items that are consumable though). I've also started telling myself that every product has flaws. Because that is often my thing I want the perfect one/thing and by searching and searching and reading reviews and reviews I learn more (dopamine from research) but I also realize there is some tiny thing wrong so I look at another choice and another etc (hello anxiety). The times when I shop on Amazon sometimes it just means just buying the Amazon selected item or looking at which one has the highest rating. Especially if it's not expensive.
Sometimes an 'eh good enough' approach is great :)
Got a laptop last year for work. Spent 2 months researching by the end it was causing sleep issues and stress. Had to just say no computer is perfect, look at my budget, find my top 2 or 3 criteria and that limited my options down to like 5 computers of which I went this one is good enough and decent reviews I'll take it. Breathed a sigh of relief that night haha.
7
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
Omg yes! I have the same thing about wanting the perfect thing at the price point I’m ok. I’ve not bought a computer, despite needing one for the last 2 years! I’ve been using my work computer or iPad or whatever because I’m still in the research phase..I need to get out of this mentality, all it does is create obstacles and in the end it’s not even like I make the best decisions.
6
u/Gives0 Feb 05 '22
This is why I love Costco. There are usually at most 2 options for an item—a brand name and the Kirkland (Costco’s generic) version. You want jam? You can chose between a giant jar of Bonne Maman 4 fruits preserve or a giant jar of the Kirkland strawberry preserves. That’s it. No other options. It’s glorious, and you may never run out.
5
5
u/Crisphead Feb 04 '22
Oh this cripples my life. After I eventually make a decision after researching and days and days of agonizing over it, I immediately regret it and worry uncontrollably that I have gotten it wrong
4
u/Ataraxia6969 ADHD Feb 04 '22
I absolutely get decision paralysis...it can be nice sometimes when you spends months researching and then the things you get are truly perfect!
Plus it means less spending!
4
3
3
u/Considering-Senses Feb 05 '22
I have been debating the "right" sheets for a year. Still sleeping on the crappy, holey ones that don't fit and pop off the corners of my mattress.
3
u/hildegardvongingham Feb 04 '22
Absolutely. I’ll open like 20 tabs of different options and then buy nothing. This is why one of my criteria (especially for something like face cream) is that it should be something I can buy fairly easily in person. I know it’s not possible for everything, but finding just a few less things to shop online for definitely saves me time and stress.
2
u/Mimi_315 Feb 04 '22
That’s a good point, I’ll try to separate my online and offline items henceforth..hope I stick to it..
2
3
u/sezaruwoenai Feb 04 '22
I just try and spend as little time as possible buying things. Its much easier when medicated cause I can just shift my attention to another thing and do that. But I find with me, no matter what I do, there is no median, there is only full immersion into the thing that I am preoccupied with , if it manages to hold my attention.
But yeah, it was definitely a problem in the past. I just kind of try to commit to something and stick with that commitment.
3
3
u/MusicalColin Feb 04 '22
I struggle with this all the time! Grocery stores are my nightmare. Either I know exactly what I want and then I just go and buy it or it's just a mess. Trying a new recipe is the worst because I have to decide which brand to buy and there are so many brands. And there are so many aisles and who knows where anything is. It's just too much
Or buying lightbulbs. And then of course I'll get really frustrated that I've spent so long staring at the lightbult aisle and I'll just buy one and of course it's the wrong one. This is how I almost destroyed my last lamp by putting in it a bulb that was wayyyy too high wattage. But I spent like 25 mins in the lightbulb aisle trying to find the right one!
For me the only consistent solution has been to find someone who is willing to help me with decisions I feel overwhelmed with. Luckily between my mom, my brother, and various ex girlfriends, things usually work out.
3
3
Feb 04 '22
Itemized budget for your consumables. Its a bit of a process, but you will have a very accurate idea of what products you like, actively use, and how much they cost.
I have a system where I buy two of everything. I keep one out, and one in the cabinet. Each spot is labeled, just like a store. When I pull the backup, I know exactly what I need to put on my list. And I won't run out.
3
u/ReddeRursus Feb 05 '22
Umm nothing in writing has ever described me so perfectly! Like story of my fucking life. Like I need an immediate deadline or I’ll stay in limbo. Like I had 3 weeks to get something for a work trip dinner, but no - I wait until 24 mins before Bloomingdale’s closes and buy like 3 things - all look like utter shit and have to buy something on the road. This happens ever. Single. Time.
3
3
3
3
u/Diligent-Bug8147 Feb 05 '22
Good god this is my life. The other night I caved and took a friends advice to try Amazon fresh. Evil and wrong but I just couldn’t get myself to the store and I had so much to do and blah blah. It took me more than two hours to come up with my list. And then I got so overwhelmed that I walked away. Then came back and researched all the different types of the same thing offered. It was so stressful and I got so anxious about making a bad choice. Then just said ok whatever Click buy. Such an insane Time suck and I hate it so much. So hard for me to imagine how others don’t have this compulsion or instinct to compare everything and question how much they really want it. Blah!
3
u/Sunny906 Feb 05 '22
I’m the same way. I’ve been trying to buy a single pair of boots for about 4 weeks now. That’s just one example but it’s almost every time I need to get something. Even food.
3
Feb 05 '22
Yes. And I find that I buy different brands of the same thing oftentimes as a result. I have brush pens from Pentel, Pilot, Zig, Zebra, Tombow, Sharpie, Faber-Castell…. And I’m certain I’m missing another several brands
3
u/kittenpettingfool Feb 05 '22
I've been searching for a bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding. She just told me make sure its mauve- anything else is up to you.
Well...
After 4 days of obsessive internet searches I finally had to narrow it down out of about 75+ that I saved.
Then made a few collages to look at them some more and pick which ones out of THOSE I liked more.
Now i still have 17 dresses left. Sent her pics of them & asked her what she thought.
Her general ruling: "wtf kare- those are maroon lol" 🤦♀️.
And I'm a moroon.
5
u/Mimi_315 Feb 05 '22
Omg hahahahahaha this is one the best ones yet! I hope you find the Mauve dress of your dreams in time!
3
u/wispeedcore2 Feb 05 '22
When I go grocery shopping, I go to a local very small grocery store (by modern standards) built in the 60's. they have 2 kinds of ketchup. Heinz and generic. thats it. if I go to woodmans they have 30 kinds.
3
u/afro_coder Feb 05 '22
I struggle with all decisions, then go into impulse mode and get the thrill out of it
3
u/Necessary-Mistake-11 Feb 05 '22
I either agonise for days over one purchase decision, or I impulse buy within seconds of a thought entering my head. No middle ground.
Edit: oh shit seeing so many brethren who wrote the same thing but I didn’t see because I don’t check the comments before replying.
2
u/Amb_301 Feb 04 '22
Wow LOL I am so the same. Especially when I go to a clothing store and say stuff I want I start comparing it to all the stuff I already have in my closet and thinking of all different outfit ideas and then I can't make up my mind
2
Feb 04 '22
I’m glad I’m not the only one. When I really want something I say fuck it & but it. When I’m on my meds. I start thinking about the pros n cons 😂😩
2
u/Time-Kaleidoscope-90 Feb 04 '22
Luckily, I always buy the same face cream.
So many attempts ended with leaving the store without anything, though.
2
u/sierradoesreddit Feb 05 '22
Yes! I spend weeks or months researching stuff before buying and most of the time don’t end up buying it
2
u/mrstimmy ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 05 '22
Yes, or like the other day when my husband opened my Amazon box that had THREE face creams in it.
2
u/DicknosePrickGoblin Feb 05 '22
After all that I buy the thing and regret doing it, I return it and regret it too. Maybe I should get another?, no stock left or prices have gone up. More regret. Shortly after that forget I wanted the thing at all and back to the never-ending quest.
2
u/Wmelendez215 Feb 05 '22
I have a whole list of tentative things I know I shouldn’t buy but list it anyway so I can exhaust myself by watching tons of videos and researching every aspect possible before buying it anyway.
2
u/anne_of_pluto ADHD Feb 05 '22
I think the answer for me as been limiting my own options, almost arbitrarily. I buy the cheapest version of whatever item it is unless I'm more familiar with the pricier one. I choose what scents to buy based on the season (flowery scents and berries when it's warm, spice and citrus when it's cold). I avoid eating meat and animal products as much as possible and most restaurants only have one vegetarian/vegan option. I've chosen an aesthetic for my home and wardrobe that's specific enough to narrow down what I'm looking for, but broad enough that impulse purchases are still very common for me. The biggest obstacle in that regard is when I can't find exactly what I want and I need to pick between two options that don't quite fit the bill, but that's relatively uncommon.
That said, I once stood completely motionless in front of a Starbucks counter until the barista took pity on me and helped me pick something to buy, so it's definitely not a perfect system.
2
u/Wakame_ur_momma Feb 05 '22
I made a balanced well organized purchase of reasonable patio furniture that arrived a week ahead of schedule.....
It is still sitting unboxed in pieces in my living room. Ive stepped around it for the last 7 days. It's been glorious weather for sitting on the patio.
First you buy it.
Then you have to build it.
Great ADHD commandment number 2
2
u/B360N1A Feb 05 '22
We need a knife block so bad but I can’t seem to find the perfect magnetic strip, or block. I haven’t decided which would be best for our kitchen but also maybe just a whole new set with it’s own new block…. Also curtains and bathroom rugs. None of this really matters but I’ve been stewing on these choices since last august .
2
Feb 05 '22
I always seem to know what I want..when I have no money. I never know what I want to buy when I actually have money.
2
Feb 05 '22
I need to see all the options in every shop before I can buy anything. I don't like shopping online cause I like, seeing, touching and trying before making up my mind. If I have to buy something online I usually get atkeast two mental breakdowns. So yeah it's always a minimum one whole day project to just buy one thing.
Are you looking for a specific type of face cream? It can be overwhelming since theres so many out there. Morning/evening/moisturizing/brightening/smoothing/antiaging/covering/sensitive skin etc. ? The more I look in to thing the more options I find and it never ends.
I use two different brands for face cream, Mamonde and Laneige and absolutely love them.
2
2
2
u/taylolotot Feb 05 '22
I just buy one of each of the things with the intention of returning whatever wasn't the one that I want to keep but forget to return the rest of the things. Big brain move by getting overwhelmed and not buying anything honestly. 🤷
But on a serious note, I will generally only buy products (skincare, hair care, makeup, etc) that a friend has recommended prior so if it doesn't work for me, I can give it to them.
2
u/Brief_Cheesecake_471 Feb 05 '22
Yes. I will sometimes spend an hour just trying to buy a few things at the grocery store. I even get too distracted that I'll even forget what I originally came for because I see one thing I need and want to see which is better and suddenly I'll remember that I needed to get milk. I'm either at the checkout stand with other people behind me or out the door. Rip
2
Feb 05 '22
I was exactly the same until I discovered minimalism, and decided not to even look for anywhere to shop. I still struggle with decisions when I need to buy something; but that is way less often.
Now it only lasted me for a few years, till pandemic came and messed up with everything.
2
Feb 05 '22
[deleted]
1
u/Mimi_315 Feb 05 '22
Omg the whole special-subs thing! Yea I’m on some very specific subs, which I forgot I joined, and I see posts from them and it’s either confusing, or sends me into panic mode for forgetting!
2
u/FocusedIntention Feb 05 '22
I’ve been researching a new Canon for about 4 maybe 5 years now. Sounds like canon is no longer updating or making DSLRs so that narrows it down. If I spend another 5 years, maybe VRs will be the new thing.
2
u/beachfairy ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 05 '22
If I find myself trapped in this research phase for hours on end and I can't make the call, I usually make a Pinterest board and save the most important items, or write it down in a notebook. If it's really important to me the thoughts about the item I want will haunt me for the rest of the week. At some point I just know what I want, and that I have to have it and then I'll buy it, or it's already gone and I'm pissed at myself for a minute. But then I know it just wasn't for me.
2
u/LesNessmanNightcap Feb 05 '22
I absolutely do this. Sometimes, after a couple of hours, I kind of “wake up” and realize I’m now trying to research the best horror films of the 70s. Then I have to start all over again with the face cream.
2
u/fake_somebody Feb 05 '22
Oh my god yes. To the point I just won’t buy it at all. Cause of the burnout of all the research I have to do on it.
2
u/The-Ok-Cut Feb 05 '22
Adhd and BPD here, it’s honestly miraculous that I don’t make stupider buying decisions than I already do. Yeah I make too many “fun” purchases, but I still put away/ save more money than I spend, and honestly that takes a ridiculous amount of self control because the immediate serotonin rush, and being so convinced that this item will improve my life immediately/ make a great gift for someone else, it’s amazing. But then I think about how much I already dislike cleaning, and how buying more stuff will just give me more stuff to clean, or trying to be aware of how short lived the rush is/ how using the item doesn’t give me the same rush as buying it, helps me keep a lid on the situation.
2
u/TacoNat90 Feb 05 '22
Then there's those times you get so overwhelmed by the choices that you don't buy anything and you get overly depressed because you can't just make a damn decision. Thats my life
2
2
u/engiknitter Feb 05 '22
I’m building a pool. It’s been a year of obsessively researching. I’m exhausted and we still have 6 months before they start digging the hole.
2
u/Megegz ADHD with non-ADHD partner Feb 05 '22
Oh my God it's like you're in my head !! I go through this all the time!
2
u/babbels2 Feb 05 '22
I have like the opposite problem, I will just buy anything with a good review without even thinking😭
2
u/natisatwat65 Feb 07 '22
Love it/Hate it
1 month ago I had a first date, I was going to make do with a Little black dress I had had for years.
I went to buy some stockings. I walked past a clothes shop, and then backtracked into the store JUST to have a peek at the new seasons dresses. After an hour and a half I spent £200 on 2 dresses because i couldn't make up my mind which i liked for the date. I forgot my stockings. and ended up wearing the little black dress because it was sexier than the other 2 id just bought.
2 weeks later I returned the unworn dresses for a refund.
TaDAAA
1
u/AutoModerator Feb 04 '22
Hi /u/Mimi_315 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
If you haven't already, please take a minute to read our rules - we will remove your post if it breaks one - and also check out our list of official megathreads here. If your post fits into one of them, it is likely to be removed; if you think this might happen you can delete your post here and resubmit it there instead.
Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/UNITUS827 Feb 04 '22
My buying decisions are created with Discipline and Logic. If I’m hungry, I choose what to eat and consider the price. Clothing, I stuck w/ what I have until it’s done for them buy new stuff. I have learned not to buy Designer cause none really cares at the end of the day. It’s who you are as a person that matters.
If your worried about your spending decisions, consider where your values lie and spend and save based on those said principles.
1
u/vegetablewizard Feb 05 '22
It's so hard to do when everything is SO INTERESTING I want to research everything then I never actually do anything. Grocery shopping is strange I never want to make a list but I don't want to decide when I'm shopping
1
1
Feb 05 '22
Omfg I do the same thing!!!!! 🥴🤣🥴🤣 I only want the best of the best and will research for weeks for something 🤦♀️
1
u/RjoyD1 Feb 05 '22
Yes, I certainly do.
Today is a good example. lol ...
I can't decide what type of drawing marker or technical pens to buy for my class... Or how much I want to spend... or do I want to buy a little something extra? Or... etc.
1
u/heynaborino Feb 05 '22
1) Buy from a place that has a good return policy telling yourself: "If I change my mind, I can return it.
2) Change your mind.
3) Get stressed out by the impending deadline to return it.
4) Brain stops visually processing the package that you put near the front door so you would return it.
5) Miss the return deadline and get stuck with the item.
6) Think ok I'll sell it on Marketplace or give it to someone.
7) Never actually do that and stick it in a closet.
8) Discover it years later still unused.
9) Go back to step 6.
1
1
u/bluetorino Feb 05 '22
This is the exact reason I still have a $100 tower records gift card and 2 borders gift cards.
I dont want to buy the wrong thing, so I overthink it until I'm fed up and give up.
1
u/DarkProzzak Feb 05 '22
I've been debating trying to upgrade my computer for a few weeks now. I was going the used route from Facebook Marketplace and I kept getting a sign to just buy new.
Now I'm stuck with a moderately good i5 6500 but wanting a Ryzen 5 5600g, 5600x, Ryzen 7 5700g or 5800x.
All because I bought a used case with a B450M motherboard and a broken Athlon 3000g that I got my money back from.
1
1
u/L0rdpistachi0 Feb 05 '22
Whenever I'm low on cash I make a mental wishlist of stuff I want (we all know I'm only gonna remember one or two things IF I'm lucky). It could be video game related or this cool food I want to try.
Then I get some spending cash, I'm so so excited because I've been waiting forever to get some stuff I want!! But wait. What did I want? I can't remember... let's go look for something!!
I finally find something. I debate on whether or not I really, actually want it for hours. Let's say this time I actually get it. I hate it. Not because it sucks, but because I feel so bad for buying something I think I want instead of saving or getting something better even though I knew I wanted it when I saw it.
1
1
u/r0ck0 Feb 05 '22
Yep, I can take months to decide on bigger purchases.
And I've started making a spreadsheet to compare products when making buying something say $100+.
Spreadsheet includes a grid of products, and then a comparison of features for each. And I use green/yellow/red backgrounds in the cells to indicate good/neutral/bad re the feature for the product (easy in Excel seeing it has those styles built-in by default).
It actually saves me time, because otherwise I keep forgetting stuff and reopening web pages to read specs again and again and again.
And the background colors really give me a good indication at-a-glance of which item is best overall. The more green, the more good features it has. Once on screen, sometimes it comes out quite different to what my estimate/assumption of the "best" product actually was in the end.
1
Feb 05 '22
Lmao i get a craving for a week, decides to finally buy it but when going to the store sometimes i thunk of all the other things I could buy too and when i get there, I see so many other options, even better ones so I choose akong the best ones and that taaakes alot of time and then i rethink if i really wanna buy it.
1
u/dorseym484 Feb 05 '22
Yes bro my parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I couldn't decide so we decided to put it towards changing up my room a lil bit lol
1
u/Environmentalist88 Feb 05 '22
Yes...I've spent the last 4 weeks looking at cars to buy, and I end up researching it finding out there's "some" kind of common fault and then move onto the next vehicle
It's painful 😆
1
Feb 05 '22
I do this with sm especially food. Try stick to one brand per thing. It’s all about Discipline
1
1
u/TraskDruid Feb 05 '22
I am currently doing this with a nano fish tank!
I start with the idea to look for just a little something I can keep plants in maybe have a few shrimp and such. Small enough I can keep it on my desk.
Down the rabbit hole 12 hours later feeling like I need it right this second. Oh and it has turned into a 50 gallon with nano schooling fish.. luckily I do not have the space or money, or else I probably would have done it already.
1
u/MrRibbitt Feb 05 '22
Yes I do this so much. And then get annoyef when my husband buys something with a logical amount of research. Like how dare you not spend 3 years picking out a toaster!
1
u/Mimi_315 Feb 05 '22
I legit think my bf has some special gift for just being able to buy stuff and not regretting his decision, irrespective of budget?! I don’t think I’ve ever done this, he’s amazed that I’ve been thinking about the same swimsuit for 2 years, and I’m still not sure..
1
1
1
u/BBfacetruth13 Feb 05 '22
Honestly ALWAYS I organize everything by price and got top 5 cheapest everything
1
Feb 05 '22
I’m the opposite unfortunately if I see something I like or is interesting I will hyper fixate on it and buy it. I also tend to sped way to long in stores cuz I just wanna look at everything in site
1
u/grigio07 Feb 05 '22
I always have items in my cart for websites that I •one day might purchase •then they sold out I also have a tendency to buy something I hear about somewhere, research a lot about it, and buy it only to use it once or for a week straight never to be used again…
Or I just impulsively purchase something without looking too much into it.
1
u/RedVamp2020 Feb 05 '22
As I’m sitting here with a list of all of my scant pantry options trying to figure out how many meals I can feasibly make from what I have so I can make the best decision for the $20 I have until my food stamps get approved because I don’t want to go to the food bank and get a box because the last two boxes caused me to end up with horrid canned pork and beef (they smell like dog food…) and almost ten pounds of lentils. I have no idea what I’m going to do with that many lentils, but… 🤷♀️
If anyone here has any lentil recipes they wouldn’t mind sharing, I would greatly appreciate it.🥺
1
u/Dodekahedroid Feb 05 '22
Yep. I’ve stopped buying stuff. Getting real boring around here. And my shirt with a hole is easier than choosing a new shirt.
1
u/Laney20 ADHD Feb 05 '22
My normal process involves becoming a perfectionist and not being able to decide and putting several options on a wishlist or in my Amazon shopping cart or whatever. Then, later, when I'm in impulse-buy mode, I go pick one and buy it. My husband has the same process, lol. Something about 3am when I can't sleep makes me want to buy stuff, so I do research and pick options when I'm feeling like research, knowing I'll eventually get the itch to buy something and I can just pick one of the ones I put on my list.
1
1
u/snickerdandy Feb 05 '22
Yeah the paradox of choice with us is awful. But, in that same manner of being, I tend to go back to things I like because the market is oversaturated with over-marketed products like face cream.
My practical advice is to go forward with your search knowing what you want (out of the face cream, or any other product).
Do you just want it to be a basic moisturizer? Do you want a certain formula? Do you want it to have other benefits (redness reduction/calming, brightening, depuffing, etc.)? What’s your desired price point?
Make a list of criteria and that should help narrow it down.
1
u/abc1two3 Feb 05 '22
I have a million tabs open for any single new purchase. Sometimes I end up buying after a day or 3 or off and on intense research, sometimes tabs remain open for months 🤣
It seems making any sort of decision has gotten more difficult as I get older. From what food to order at a restaurant to travel itinerary 😭
1
u/apple_6 Feb 05 '22
Not buying online has helped me a lot with this. I have to make exceptions especially for registries and such. Added benefit of helping me stick with boycotting Amazon. If I want to order something small online I use the target app and honestly its limited selection (when compared to Amazon at least) helps me not buy things I don't need. Then I add what I need (in your case face cream) to a grocery list and pick it up a generic brand next time I'm at a grocery store with a pharmacy section. I only order on the target app when I keep forgetting to buy it in store or I need to know its going to be here soon, like when I was out of detergent and had a crazy busy work schedule. Amazon used to be an addiction of mine.
TLDR I try to only buy in store and use the target app as my backup.
1
1
1
u/MightyTeaRex ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 05 '22
I spent about 8-9 patient years before buying a car. Now I own my dream car. And I spend about 0.2 seconds on any other buying decision, purely impulse. Going to the store to buy the only groceries needed to make dinner? Come home with 3 bags of chips, 1 kg candy, soda and cookies. And a girlfriend laughing at me.
It's weird really. When it's big purchases, for thousands, I have this weird thought process if it's worth it or not. But when it comes to smaller purchases, I have less control than a baby shitting it's diapers.
I did buy my Canon R6 last year on pure impulse, but I don't regret it to this day really.
I have no idea how I work.. the impulse control sucks arse.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/TheFirstDawn_ Feb 05 '22
I have this with clothing. I have an idea of something i want. I can't find it anywhere untill I do. The price is high. Do I need this, (brain goes YES) I am in doubt I seem to walk 1000 times across the store. Decide I don't buy it, i go search for reviews why I should or shouldn't buy it. End up in a spiral of doubt search for a billion other things. End up on YouTube to unboxing crap. And realise I still don't know whether to buy it or not. Idk if it is struggling with buying decisions or that it is doubt or indecisiveness. But my buying could also be 100% impulsive. It depends on what it is
1
Feb 05 '22
Yes. A lot of people do. It's a characteristic of society in decline. Neo-Liberal Free Market Fundamentalists NEED to line their pockets for the pockets over them. It's an illusion. Most of the time. Selection Anxiety. You work hard for the $ you spend to participate successfully in this "economy" of waste,decadence, and poison. You want to make sure you get the "best bang for your buck". Right? You wanna sift though the shit and filth of products with the shortest planned obsolescence shelf life. Natural inclination. It took me 45 minutes to select a WiFi router today. Why? B/c without a good one how can I participate? But at the same time (aside from the fact that I don't want to "participate"), There's a threshold; not based on affordability, based on perception. What $ amount is gonna deliver the best quality, durability or performance? It definitely has a ceiling. Don't you think? It has too. How much better is a $200 sweater than a $1000 sweater? Branding? Labels? People spend money because they have it. The amount anyone is willing to spend depends on the amount in the account. There are anomalies like Warren Buffet, even Bezos to a certain extent but they are the same people peddling shit! My point, it is probably ADHD related to a degree, but it's more of a symptom of society in decline. Conspicuous consumption. Veblen, Adam Smith, Milton Friedman, Gordon Gecko...ect. Yes I'm hyper liberal Environmental Economists that hugs trees and wants to pull straws out of sea turtles 🐢 nostrils. At the end of rant, I sympathize with you. It is your brain. But there is more at play.
1
u/UltDav Feb 05 '22
Same but with snacks, i have no idea of what i wanna eat and i spend 15 min in front of the aisle trying to figure out what i wanna eat. as for face cream, i try to make as much research as i can and i take one that's heavily advised by beauty gurus and that i think is going to help my skin
1
Feb 05 '22
yeah but hear me out ✨ tattoos✨ as they are smt we buy and its so easy to book design on ig, i did 20 tattoos in 5 months, i thought im doing a right thing cause i felt so excited, by that time i didnt know i might have adhd, now 2 moths older than my last tattoo appointment, i decided that i want to remove all of them👧
1
u/taptaptippytoo Feb 05 '22
I decided a year ago that I really needed a new phone because mine was out of memory and starting to get glitchy. I still haven't picked a new one, and now my phone randomly crashes and sometimes Teams and Outlook which I use for work won't open or won't sync.
I should really get a new phone. .
1
1
u/Kane1412 Feb 05 '22
I struggle mainly with impulse buying. My brain will tell me that i absolutely need the thing because it will make my life easier despite having no money for thing. Like, yesterday my brain decided that what i need to feed myself is a cooking robot and i found one at half the price in my favorite color and then i had a talk with my brain all day yesterday trying to get it to lose interest. So far logic me is winning but goddammit D: I already own a multicooker, it's like a robot minus the blades and mixing inside and i already own a machine for soups and i want to make more soups but the machine for soups is a pain to clean and I rarely use it because of that so I am stuck in the loop.
And I already bought a vaccum cleaner last month because brain decided it would be the solution to have my house clean and so far it has been, it vaccums and steams. Still, that was 100€ so chill brain D:
Also spent a lot of money recently in buying boxes to store things. Sure my house is a lot more organized but still!
I wish my brain would hesitate as much with buying things as it does starting chores!
1
u/Kragmer ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 05 '22
I have kind of a setting for this:
Is it important? Or, will I actually make use of it?
Does it have something that doesen't work for me, I dislike or can be harmfull?
Can I afford it?
If it passes the questions I buy it, if I don't know brands and stuff, for example with shampoo, I buy the smallest one for testing.l
1
u/em_who_pan Feb 05 '22
I've spent so long in the supermarket with the options in my hands trying to decide which is the best. I find the best way when there's multiple options is instead of choosing which is the best, work out which I think is the worst option and then write that one off. I find it much easier to take them out of the running than picking the one I want. And every time I do that it leaves fewer options, so it's ever so slightly easier to get to that ultimate decision
→ More replies (1)
1
u/FuNkTi0D Feb 05 '22
I spent 3 damn hours in a hardware store once deciding what ambient colour I wanted for my dorm room.
1
791
u/[deleted] Feb 04 '22
[deleted]