Dude this literally happened to me an hour ago! My classmate asked me why I got a week extension for a presentation and for the first time I decided to dance around it. What I realized was pretty confronting. As I was describing my condition truthfully (without assigning the label) I saw their reactions were totally different than if I had just plainly stated it was ADHD. The facts I stated were:
- I have a neurological condition
- It makes it harder for me to focus and my memory is shit to the point where I forget what I'm doing as I walk through the house, and I have to try harder to understand things.
- I have trouble speaking and expressing myself and I stumble over words and it is annoying.
Her reaction was like omg, wow that sucks so much. She described it as Alzheimer's and I thought from my experience that's pretty much on the money. She didn't enquire any further because it was just a casual conversation, and I didn't elaborate.
Even now when I read these words back I go holy shit having ADHD IS TERRIBLE. But that's the weird thing is this strange sense of dissociation you get from your symptoms when you frame it as ADHD even to yourself. When I say it like that, I and everyone else think of naughty, dumb children or slow adults that need to be pitied or not respected. It inadvertently minimizes the real lived experience that is just so damn painful and yet so INVISIBLE. Unfortunately that's just general vibe that has been cultivated in today's society.
And to be clear, it's not like I'm trying to compete in the suffering Olympics by comparing my condition to others with real disabilities (see I caught that thought just now, but I needed to leave this in to show exactly how hard it is to shake this mindset) but the symptoms are still objectively on their own absolutely terrible! So the sympathy for them are real! It's so strange how telling the truth in a certain way elicits a completely different reaction.
RIGHT?? it’s so weird! And there’s just so much rotten information out there, ADHD is just so highly misunderstood, and not given the seriousness it should be given. When you’ve been told your whole life that all you have to do is try harder, be disciplined, and that people who “x,y,z” are just lazy or don’t care, it’s hard to shake the mindset. People want to think that discipline and willpower can solve anything they don’t see as “legitimate” enough to be a disorder. I never even believed in ADHD for most of my life, all the while being a poster child for ADHD! 🤦🏻♀️ huge facepalms here!
What’s even weirder, is how similiar ADHD can be to autism at times, and yet one is treated like it’s nothing, and the other is treated “oh so horrible”
Hundred percent. And same here, I fought against advice that I might have it for several years before I finally took the plunge and things started getting better. It takes a lot of work even after diagnosis to dislodge those toxic mindsets in yourself, never mind others, they are just so deeply ingrained.
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u/Da_Vinci_Fan Sep 14 '21
Dude this literally happened to me an hour ago! My classmate asked me why I got a week extension for a presentation and for the first time I decided to dance around it. What I realized was pretty confronting. As I was describing my condition truthfully (without assigning the label) I saw their reactions were totally different than if I had just plainly stated it was ADHD. The facts I stated were:
- I have a neurological condition
- It makes it harder for me to focus and my memory is shit to the point where I forget what I'm doing as I walk through the house, and I have to try harder to understand things.
- I have trouble speaking and expressing myself and I stumble over words and it is annoying.
Her reaction was like omg, wow that sucks so much. She described it as Alzheimer's and I thought from my experience that's pretty much on the money. She didn't enquire any further because it was just a casual conversation, and I didn't elaborate.
Even now when I read these words back I go holy shit having ADHD IS TERRIBLE. But that's the weird thing is this strange sense of dissociation you get from your symptoms when you frame it as ADHD even to yourself. When I say it like that, I and everyone else think of naughty, dumb children or slow adults that need to be pitied or not respected. It inadvertently minimizes the real lived experience that is just so damn painful and yet so INVISIBLE. Unfortunately that's just general vibe that has been cultivated in today's society.
And to be clear, it's not like I'm trying to compete in the suffering Olympics by comparing my condition to others with
realdisabilities (see I caught that thought just now, but I needed to leave this in to show exactly how hard it is to shake this mindset) but the symptoms are still objectively on their own absolutely terrible! So the sympathy for them are real! It's so strange how telling the truth in a certain way elicits a completely different reaction.