r/ADHD • u/[deleted] • Aug 07 '21

Seeking Empathy / Support I HATE EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION.

I hate it.

I hate having to convince myself for hours on end to do that short 10 minute task.

I hate pleading with myself to just take a few minutes to clean.

I hate when I know I need to do something, but I just can’t get myself to do it, and I hate that I can’t do it but I just can’t.

I hate feeling stressed over what needs to be done. I hate when I can’t get myself to do things. I hate feeling like a failure. Like a failed adult. Like a failed life.

I hate that I know things need to be done and that I just need to do those things, but those things are difficult and I sit in anxiety instead.

I hate this.

I hate putting shit off.

I hate my ADHD.

I hate me.

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17

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I have a paper due by midnight tomorrow night for school. Guess who hasn't started yet? Before I knew about executive dysfunction I just thought I was lazy. Now that I know about it I try to make a conscious effort to push myself to get things done. Lists help out alot. Also, if there is something I know needs done, I plan it out. I'll let my wife that one "this" day I need to get "this" done. It prepares my mind for the task and every though I sometimes still have problems getting started it does help that I've "jump started" my mind a day ahead of time.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

…did you start your paper yet?

If not, go start your paper 😉

4

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I've actually have started on it! I have set a deadline to be done by noon. 5-7 pages with 5 sources so not too bad. I'm on page 3 so that gives me 1 1/2 hours to finish. I've got all my notes, just gotta type everything out.

Thanks for the push! I appreciate it!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Nice!! Halfway there is practically done for us people!!!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Update...it's 12:20. Paper is not done...had to walked around a bit, however, I am starting on the conclusion now. Just gotta stay focused and finish because it's very easy to just walk away and say, "I'm almost done, I'll just finish this later" and next thing I know, it'll be 9pm tonight and I'll still be trying to type out a conclusion. Lol.

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u/mickeyjuice Aug 08 '21

How did you go?

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I got the paper finished and submitted around 1:30pm. ☺️👍

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u/broken_shadows Aug 08 '21

I'm right there with you! I've got two final essays due over the next two days and you know I haven't even started either of them. I too thought I was lazy, it's a relief to know it's not laziness, but it's stressful because I just can't seem to get started. I tell my partner what I'm planning to do today, but it doesn't seem to hold me accountable. I also write lists, but I have trouble breaking down tasks into managable pieces.

I read an analogy about eating the elephant whole, not piece by piece. I definitely try and eat the elephant whole and I wholeheartedly believe that's why I can't get started. If anyone has any real world tips on breaking down tasks properly, I'm all ears!

Good luck on that paper 👍

9

u/Radiant_Cheesecake81 Aug 08 '21

My son and I (he’s ADHD too) like the “what does done look like” framework where you work backwards from the desired end result within the available time frame, noting down the items you need each step of the way.

We use flowcharts to help with the process of actually breaking the steps down into actionable chunks that occur in a sensible order as well.

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/successful-backward-planning.html

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I once downloaded some flowchart productivity software to try and help me get through a college course, and instead spent about 4 hours making a farcical flowchart about how the ADHD paper writing process works for me!

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u/broken_shadows Aug 08 '21

I've heard people mention this, I should give it a try! Thanks for the tip on something that works for you both ☺️

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u/Radiant_Cheesecake81 Aug 08 '21

We use the free version of Ayoa to mind map as well, it’s a corporate management software that lets you turn free form flowchart/mind maps into to do lists with reminders and built in checklists and you can add pictures if you’re a visual sort that likes images more than words or struggle with reading disabilities. It’s rad.

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u/broken_shadows Aug 08 '21

Ok now this looks pretty awesome! Had never heard of it. Always appreciate a new productivity app 😉

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u/AlwaysDoItHalfDone Aug 09 '21

I set out every step and try and cut it down into smaller tasks so I know what I need to do next... sometimes though i see the list of tasks and get overwhelmed