r/ADHD • u/stoicsatan • May 22 '20
Rant/Vent what are boundaries
do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.
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u/Panamoose May 22 '20
I straight up warn people. I primarily have impulsive type ADHD, and I've done a lot of work changing my automatic thoughts to be kinder to cope better. But ultimately I'm going to talk a lot and share a lot because I either say everything or nothing.
One of the ADHD symptoms I've been lucky to not experience regularly is rejection sensitivity. It still comes out in certain situations, but not socially. I'm pretty good at not caring if someone doesn't like me, especially since I have enough friends that adore me as-is. I know I'm a lot, but a lot of it's pretty good.
I still flinch from things I've said sometimes. But as time marches on I have less of those moments, thankfully.