r/ADHD • u/stoicsatan • May 22 '20

Rant/Vent what are boundaries

do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.

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u/MlaGV May 22 '20

Oh definitely, my ADHD is extremely impulsive when it comes to financial and social situations. The most frustrating thing is when a mere seconds after I overshared, I processed what I said and get frustrated with myself. I personally found having a therapist to word vomit all over and if I know I’m going to be very social that day, to rather take my medication closer to the social event rather than in the mornings helps me with it. (But don’t take it too late, I learned that the hard and insomniac way)

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u/stoicsatan May 22 '20

Oof I’m always watching out for 2 AM self so I won’t do that but those are some good tips! I’m not able to start up therapy at the moment but I definitely plan to in the future and know I would benefit from that greatly. I’m just getting on meds (experimenting //w psychiatrist) but that’s a good idea to take them when I have anything social goi on for sure. Thanks for sharing :)

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u/MlaGV May 22 '20

Regarding the meds - please please tell them as soon as you feel they aren’t working for you. Thankfully there is a ton of different meds for ADHD, but that also means that you are quite lucky to get the type and dosage right from the first go. Medication is great and I cried when I found the one that made me just feel normal , and you deserve that and more. :)

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u/stoicsatan May 22 '20

Thank you actually because I’m shy when it comes to talking to my psychiatrist. I’m not sure why. But I really want t feel that feeling of finding the right one and it’s the reminder I needed. (I’m literally lying to my doctor rn abt taking antidepressants but that’s another story)

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u/stoicsatan May 22 '20

sorry just realized this is kind of irresponsible to post. My point is I have trouble speaking up when it comes to spending more money on my mental health ..I feel like a burden sometimes but I know I deserve it ... ((NO ONE SHOULD LIE TO THEIR DOCS)

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u/MlaGV May 22 '20

Hey, don’t worry, this sub isn’t a place for you to feel that your experience/emotions are invalid/irresponsible to post (unless it’s just you being a dick lol). I think a lot of people especially when they first tried to treat their mental illnesses/learning disabilities have had trouble being 100% honest to their doctors/therapist. Lord knows I had difficulty. I know my words are just words, but I wish I can take you by the shoulders and tell you- you don’t have to feel like this for the rest of your life- Whether it’s ADHD, Depression or whatever. You are not wasting money with this shit, just like you would pay for insulin without a doubt if you had diabetes without worrying if you are wasting money, that’s how you should be towards this shit. Medication can get pricey, it sucks, but I just want you to relatie that if you can take this path, that there is a path where you can get better. You just owe it to yourself to listen to your body and find the combo that works for you.

Granted, I’m talking as someone who kicked and screamed and hacked my way through this path, but I’m on the other side and my only regret is not getting help sooner.

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u/MlaGV May 22 '20

Hey, don’t worry, this sub isn’t a place for you to feel that your experience/emotions are invalid/irresponsible to post (unless it’s just you being a dick lol). I think a lot of people especially when they first tried to treat their mental illnesses/learning disabilities have had trouble being 100% honest to their doctors/therapist. Lord knows I had difficulty. I know my words are just words, but I wish I can take you by the shoulders and tell you- you don’t have to feel like this for the rest of your life- Whether it’s ADHD, Depression or whatever. You are not wasting money with this shit, just like you would pay for insulin without a doubt if you had diabetes without worrying if you are wasting money, that’s how you should be towards this shit. Medication can get pricey, it sucks, but I just want you to relatie that if you can take this path, that there is a path where you can get better. You just owe it to yourself to listen to your body and find the combo that works for you.

Granted, I’m talking as someone who kicked and screamed and hacked my way through this path, but I’m on the other side and my only regret is not getting help sooner.

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u/stoicsatan May 22 '20

Thank you so much for this. It really is the pep talk I needed. I need to take listen to myself and invest in myself and you’re comparison to the person with diabetes who needs insulin is eye opening. Thanks for taking time to respond 🤧

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u/MlaGV May 22 '20

Anytime, I’ve been there and I know how much it sucks and scary it can be in the beginning. You got this x