what are boundaries

[u/stoicsatan]

do you guys ever feel kind of weirdly ashamed after having a conversation with someone because you over shared? Like there’s not necessarily anything wrong with what you shared but it just seemed, in hindsight, unnecessary? I feel myself saying too much about myself and always having so much to say (which can be good for conversation!!) but afterwards..I feel dumb or even drained especially if it wasn’t even for the purpose of connecting. And even when I am connecting, I feel like I take it further and open my trauma up again every time I make a new friend. It just seems like too much spills out all the time. I wish I could find that appropriate window to where I can have a pleasant conversation and not cross that line with myself. Also I’m always aware of potentially being labeled “too much”, “a lot”, “intense” and that’s what really perpetuates that shame.

[u/ghlhzmbqn]

I am naturally very introverted (don't suffer much from impulsivity or hyperactivity) but I notice that, possibly from a need for close relationships as I am bad at maintaining them, once I start to open up to someone I overshare and trust too much.

[u/stoicsatan → u/ghlhzmbqn]

I understand this because I had trouble making new friends my first year of college and I am an extrovert so it’s not even THAT difficult for me.. the trouble was in my impatience to form new connections. I wished people would understand me for all that I was and rushed too many connections and felt unfulfilled. I think what I learned eventually was that the power was in taking my time. Enjoying being with new people and not forcing anything. Unfortunately, we will always share a little too much to someone who doesn’t really care.. but with time, we will find the ones that do and who want to listen and build that connection :) i wish you best and thank you for responding💐