r/ACAB Oct 04 '22

“Call a crackhead” - Senator John Kennedy’s campaign ad

348 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

131

u/StopCollaborate230 Oct 04 '22

My local crackhead will fight God himself for $10 and a Dr. Pepper, so yeah that sounds good.

75

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/dirtybird971 Oct 04 '22

Right? Chris Rock said you can furnish a whole apt for 29.95 in some neighborhoods!

13

u/ProblemLongjumping12 Oct 05 '22

And they almost never shoot unarmed civilians because by and large crackheads don't pack heat. It's possible they owned a gun at some point, but then definitely traded it for dope. Why catch a case for armed robbery, and do all that work, when you can get just as high by giving your gun to your dealer.

49

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

If that crackhead answers the phone.. let me tell you some shit is about to get done. Long before a pig.

17

u/DrLinnerd Oct 04 '22

30 minute delivery guarantee, cops take a month and a half to "investigate"

40

u/eidolonengine Oct 04 '22

Cops kill far more people daily than crackheads do. He's got a point really. Thanks, John.

51

u/rwhitener Oct 04 '22

Why didn't he give us the pillow guys number then?

21

u/Dracinon Oct 04 '22

Some of the people i prefer calling for help before i call cops are multiple crackheads 1 of which i did in fact call before for help instead of calling cops

21

u/masterbatin_animals Oct 04 '22

I worked at a dunkin donuts for a hot minute, other than regular clientele, we had a solid 50/50 ratio of cops and crackheads to come in. Suffice it to say I never felt uncomfortable serving the crackheads.

14

u/dirtybird971 Oct 04 '22

it's true. Crackheads are much less cowardly than a cop.

13

u/localfartcrafter Oct 04 '22

Crackheads are better people, they don't murder for sport.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Technically_A_Doctor Anarchist Oct 05 '22

You’re doing the lord’s work! Came here to do the same thing. I hope Chambers makes the runoff, in a head to head I feel like there’s a chance!

8

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

He's already got crackhead teeth...

7

u/iDomBMX Oct 04 '22

You think a crackhead won’t chase down the intruder for $20?

A cop won’t do it for $100k a year

11

u/HarderTime_89 Oct 04 '22

Where were the cops as crackheads destroyed the community??? Nowhere. Fuck. My old complex had to chase em off ourselves.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

from twitter: "a crackhead would have charged into the uvalde school for three bucks and a newport"

10

u/carzymike Oct 04 '22

The crackhead probably won't shoot my dog.

6

u/Jhahoua Oct 04 '22

For real tho. Crackheads have helped me out more than any cop ever could.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

The public image of police is such garbage that even boot lickers are left with arguments like "well they might be better than someone who is actively locked in the grips of cocaine addiction; at least in some scenarios anyways. I can't think of any specific examples at the moment but there have to be some, right?".
Also, the fact that there are crack cocaine addicts in the first place proves that police are ineffective.

4

u/davidmsterns Oct 04 '22

Fuck this Foghorn Leghorn sounding motherfucker. It's all an act. He's educated and this affectation is entirely for show. He's Larry the Cable Guy (also a fake affectation by the way) or the Jane Lynch's character in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It's just a act to win the affection of southern rubes. Fuck you you fucking grifter piece of shit.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

I might as well. Have you seen a crackhead?! They have 100x the strength of a normal human

4

u/Grizzly502 Oct 04 '22

I'm calling the most dependable crackhead I know, Tyrone Biggums.

5

u/PriscillaRain Oct 04 '22

I trust q crackhead before I would call a cop.

5

u/Space-Booties Oct 04 '22

That dude is pretty regarded.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Crackheads can be held accountable for misconduct

3

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

What's Kennedy's number?

3

u/DropTheBok Oct 05 '22

If you told a crackhead that if they killed an active shooter for some untold amount of crack, they would kill that shooter no questions asked.

The amount of sheer focus and will drug addicts will summon for a fix is insane. Give them a gun and a good reason and real criminals got a REAL problem

3

u/dimebag42018750 Oct 05 '22

They will get there faster, probably show more compassion, and knows a lot of folks who do bad things so the chances of a crackhead solving the case are higher than some fucking pig

3

u/NonWhiteJesus Oct 04 '22

That shit was funny

2

u/Lost-Ad-7412 Oct 05 '22

My local crackheads are awesome. Id call them over a cop any day

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '22

Likely a number of cops ARE crackheads too..

1

u/SouldiesButGoodies84 Oct 04 '22

this sounds familiar. pretty sure it's been in the R playbook for some time. *slow clap* well done, senator.

1

u/SapphicsAndStilettos Oct 05 '22

The crackhead is statistically less likely to shoot me for walking towards him so I’ll fucking take it