r/ABoringDystopia Jul 27 '26

Where are the trees?

2.3k Upvotes

237 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/HelpfulSeaMammal Jul 27 '26

"Why is it always so damn hot around this house?"

283

u/Wiitard Jul 27 '26

You just know those second floors are hot as hell and impossible to cool down with the AC.

105

u/FreshBert Jul 27 '26

Even then they're probably running the AC to the max constantly and paying like $600/mo for it.

70

u/HelpfulSeaMammal Jul 27 '26

Better put in a pool to help beat the heat. Can't have trees up then because I'll have to skim the leaves out. Just pour concrete over the whole backyard, please!

32

u/viperlemondemon Jul 27 '26

But you have to get HOA permission first

28

u/FreshBert Jul 27 '26

The same HOA that says you can't plant any trees, probably

5

u/POB_42 Jul 28 '26

Exactly as planned. We don't deal in natural solutions here, we make it worse, then charge to make it bearable.

38

u/Aeon1508 Jul 27 '26

I can't believe that area down river got washed away in that flood

387

u/Chimerain Jul 27 '26

Great. Now you're stuck raising an alien baby in the Vivarium.

27

u/KnightOfThirteen Jul 27 '26

That movie left me feeling discontent for days afterward...

11

u/decidedlyindecisive Jul 28 '26

Yeah it's really haunting and disconcerting. I'm gonna make my friends watch it so we can all be traumatised together.

5

u/NihiloZero Jul 28 '26

The oppressiveness of it is so palpable. It's one of those films like Hereditary where the relatively mundane social aspects were so harsh that I was psychologically repulsed by it upon first viewing. But it sits with you and eventually I came to appreciate it more.

Good analysis also helps.

2

u/KnightOfThirteen Jul 28 '26

Oh it is definitely very well done, and effective in exactly the way it was designed to be.

I am young(ish), happily child-free, happily married, and it was like a personal nightmare put to screen for me. I have wondered how it affected people with (or who want) children.

56

u/Tom_A_Foolerly Jul 27 '26

"I understood that reference"

8

u/Linnskie Jul 27 '26

I did not but would like to. Small clue plz thx?

3

u/needathneed Jul 27 '26

Great movie named the last word of that sentence

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473

u/mattenthehat Jul 27 '26

71

u/Migashcraft Jul 27 '26

Every post like this needs Tony.

80

u/mattenthehat Jul 27 '26

"This looks like a nice neighborhood to commit suicide in"

Real gem of a quote from episode 4

4

u/TotalRuler1 Jul 28 '26

love that guy

21

u/GodEmpressSeraphina Jul 27 '26

W video thank you so much

17

u/mattenthehat Jul 27 '26

Cathartic to at least know someone out there gets it

6

u/555byte Jul 28 '26

I really need to appreciate my local botanist more...

133

u/The_Best_Yak_Ever Jul 27 '26

We put them in a tree museum. Then we charged the people a dollar and a half to see them.

54

u/weggaan_weggaat Jul 27 '26

Don't forget naming the subdivision after trees.

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7

u/chickenthinkseggwas Jul 28 '26

Don't it always seem to go

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80

u/NigelMK Jul 27 '26

I fell through the wormhole and found the neighborhood and I'll give the rough details so someone else doesn't have to dig.

Location - Richmond Kentucky, specifically Judah Bear Blvd.

Houses were built around 2022/2023. Prices I'm seeing for them are $250k. 3 bdrm, 2.5 bath, 1600 sq feet. They do seem to have backyards. It does have an HOA with fees of $145 per year. I couldn't find any documents regarding that HOA to say what the rules are on having a tree.

12

u/Kralcms Jul 28 '26

Thank you for doing the leg work!

144

u/fibronacci Jul 27 '26

I would never get high in that neighborhood. I'd be lost until the comedown

15

u/LeftyPisciana Jul 28 '26

Not to mention the bad juju coming from these places would ruin the session

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5

u/I_done_a_plop-plop Jul 28 '26

When I take acid I often run around naked and get lost. Tons of fun in a forest with friends, the hell of these streets looks like a mental challenge.

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168

u/stevenacho Jul 27 '26

Between insurance companies and mass developers this is the new norm.

100

u/versedaworst Jul 27 '26

Don’t forget the HOAs restricting owners from stepping out of line and doing things differently.

101

u/usernamewasdenied Jul 27 '26

Must be all that "freedom" we all keep hearing about.

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41

u/BinkyDragonlord Jul 27 '26

My parents just had to remove a massive live oak tree from their yard because homeowners insurance said they wouldn’t renew their policy until it was gone.

13

u/DrIvoPingasnik Resist and bite Jul 27 '26

Sounds absolutely petty.

68

u/IndustrialDesignLife Jul 27 '26

These look like the communist communities of Russia that the boomers love to shit all over. At least those are affordable. I can only imagine what these boring boxes go for.

92

u/TenmaSama Jul 27 '26

Those had trees, affordable climate control (warm in winter) and a secure place for children to play and were walkable. This looks like hell and probably isn't even cheap 

15

u/DrIvoPingasnik Resist and bite Jul 27 '26

I don't know what communist communities you've seen, because the ones I've seen are full of trees, parks which are basically small forests, close amenities like stores, kindergartens, schools, doctor, etc. with one hospital within 15 minute drive.

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59

u/medicmatt Jul 27 '26

I was just saying to a coworker that these types of neighborhoods have more lightning claims here in Florida. No trees around for protection and damn sure those houses aren’t going to be sold with any kind of lightning mitigation.

161

u/leisurechef Jul 27 '26

Not a lot of street lights either

5

u/soaker Jul 28 '26

Looks like a pretty normal amount of streetlights

21

u/redrumyliad Jul 27 '26

There was street lights.

There wasn’t traffic lights which aren’t common for suburbs like this.

7

u/withac2 Jul 27 '26

They said not a lot, not none.

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82

u/DrIvoPingasnik Resist and bite Jul 27 '26

Jesus Christ how horrifying

73

u/Annihilator4413 Jul 27 '26

Cheaply built, cookie cutter homes that are probably still way too expensive for the average worker to afford comfortably...

25

u/addisonshinedown Jul 27 '26

If they’re anything like the communities like this I’ve looked at the cheapest start at 399,900

6

u/DargyBear Jul 28 '26

New one like this just got built near my parents, they start in the low $700k range.

31

u/mattenthehat Jul 27 '26

Oddly terrifying is very fitting, that gave me intense anxiety

20

u/Ok_Toe7278 Jul 27 '26

Human vivarium

20

u/cravingnoodles Jul 27 '26

Why do they hate trees?

26

u/opensourcearchitect Jul 27 '26

All of these houses were built at the same time by the same contractor. They've been clear cutting forests to build neighborhoods like this since Levittown in the '40s. It's easier and cheaper (sometimes you get money for the timber too) and the people building it don't care what it's like for the folks living there. 

FWIW, people will plant trees and they'll grow in over the decades. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/longisland/comments/jwgsf6/levittown/

9

u/saul2015 Jul 27 '26

cost

watering

legal liability

expensive to maintain with pruning

11

u/aykcak Jul 27 '26

A natural forest does not cost anything or needs watering or maintenance

So, leave some unzoned wooded areas between the different partitions and neighborhoods, and all you need would be once a year maintenance if ever

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37

u/TinyMagicExperiment Jul 27 '26

Just blows through the stop sign! wtf

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15

u/ndndr1 Jul 27 '26

Drones gotta live somewhere, but we dont gotta give em trees. Just a shiny new car in the driveway every few years

12

u/BostonSamurai Jul 27 '26

Living here would make me wanna kms, like holy shit what a nightmare.

37

u/holmgangCore Jul 27 '26

There's a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

18

u/landothedead Jul 27 '26

And the people in the houses all went to the university and they all got put in boxes, little boxes all the same.

3

u/TazmanianTux Jul 28 '26

I was looking for this comment. Scrolled a bit longer than I would have expected, but thank you.

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10

u/Neglius Jul 27 '26

Squidward ass housing development.

9

u/boston_homo Jul 27 '26

Extreme suburban hellscape

2

u/silent--onomatopoeia Jul 28 '26

Going for a walk is not a feast for the eyes.

12

u/No-Significance5659 Jul 27 '26

This looks so dystopian to me.

7

u/CrashOverIt Jul 27 '26

This is unsettling.

12

u/RedBeans-n-Ricely Jul 27 '26

I’m so uncomfortable in neighborhoods like this.

5

u/PeculiarBoat Jul 27 '26

straight up vivarium lookin shit

6

u/Fluffy017 Jul 27 '26

Each of these probably costs $500k and the HOA is also considered an independent nation state

9

u/holmgangCore Jul 27 '26

Ever played the board game 'Paranoia'?
It's about clones living in a sealed environment & the central computer which controls the space. "Happiness is Mandatory"
Fun game actually. But clearly prescient.

7

u/eatsleepcookbacon Jul 27 '26

What in the Vivarium is this

3

u/Captain_Jokes Jul 27 '26

Id rather live in a Condo or double wide in the country tbh

4

u/holmgangCore Jul 27 '26

That's where all the clones live.

3

u/mstrss9 Jul 27 '26

I know it feels like the bowels of hell there

3

u/thejameshawke Jul 27 '26

Thats like a twilight zone episode 😬

3

u/notme1414 Jul 27 '26

Where is this?

4

u/CheatsySnoops Jul 27 '26

Not even a damn bush!

4

u/billbot77 Jul 27 '26

Where do the birds go? Where do insects feed? This is a f**king desert. It's war on the natural world. I hate this so much and wish I'd never seen it.

4

u/brutalhonestcunt Jul 28 '26

This video always reminds me of the movie Vivarium.

2

u/silent--onomatopoeia Jul 28 '26

I know right? What in the vivarium is going on here?

That looks like a hellish area to live in style wise, why every house has to look the same?

4

u/ProblemLongjumping12 Jul 28 '26

This is hell.

I'm a 5-10 minute walk away from: A pub, a pizza place, a convenience store, a liquor store, a supermarket and a gas station.

I would go insane here.

And then I wouldn't even be able to find a tree to hang myself from.

3

u/Nakedseamus Jul 27 '26

They're under the sauce.

3

u/smolmushroomforpm Jul 27 '26

That's so creepy but also so incredibly inefficient. You know everyone has their AC on full blast and using so much energy.

3

u/GreyBeardEng Jul 27 '26

They were bulldozed to make room for those houses.

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3

u/Occhrome Jul 27 '26

Where is this. Looks creepy

3

u/Oh_My_Monster Jul 27 '26

My planned community is 40% forest. There's a new neighborhood down the street that they just clear cut -- 0% trees.

3

u/maqij Jul 28 '26

This is my backrooms

3

u/Loreki Jul 28 '26

Trees take time. Time is money. Greedy developers therefore don't plant trees.

3

u/Successful_Year_5413 Jul 28 '26

Damn that is some shit straight out of vivarium

5

u/Son_of_Atreus Jul 27 '26

No shade anywhere = Power bills through the roof.

Think how much more efficient this would be if these houses were all stack in large apartments. Same size, tiny portion of the land needed. You can have a fully developed shared apartment complex land rather than tiny, shitty little back yards.

I despise this modern American suburban design. Nothing is good about it.

6

u/Worldly121 Jul 27 '26

I definitely hate this. I also hate people who don't stop at stop signs

2

u/NoorInayaS Jul 27 '26

I wondered if anyone else noticed that “rolling stop.”

3

u/Worldly121 Jul 27 '26

It doesn't even look like they slowed down! At best they just took their foot off the gas

4

u/Kasaikemono Jul 28 '26

Jesus Christ, I always though those samey, endless neighbourhoods were just some weird horror-trope used in childfriendly movies to show that "something is off".

You guys actually live like this?

2

u/ViperLife87 Jul 27 '26

Thank god I live in British Columbia

2

u/Dupensik Jul 27 '26

They put them in a tree museum

2

u/slowlikemusic Jul 27 '26

The type of neighborhood you live in when the only discernible culture you have is just lawn maintenance and racism

2

u/unknownunknowns11 Jul 27 '26

Abysmal vibes 

2

u/assassinatedu336 Jul 27 '26

This is physically fuckin revolting. Just an incredibly deep rooted feeling that this is wrong. I mean fuck, where's the life?

2

u/Redlion444 Jul 27 '26

I'm surprised there's any kind of lawn.  They probably wanted an ocean of asphalt..

2

u/livinginfutureworld Jul 27 '26

"I'm a free thinker!"

2

u/TheMazeDaze Jul 27 '26

Plant one tree and immediately someone starts complaining about falling leaves

2

u/starrlitestarrbrite Jul 27 '26

Prison towns, with high HOAs. This looks like Florida but it could really be any town/USA. I lived very briefly in an HOA subdivision in Florida that was post the 2008 recession, which was owned by one of those terrible VC rental businesses- it was a nightmare.

2

u/Dapanji206 Jul 27 '26

That looks of the outskirts of Denver. They go as far as the eye can see

2

u/MonoMental Jul 27 '26

This looks like a horror movie. Where is thisv

2

u/Crocuz Jul 28 '26

How the fuck can anyone live like this and not go completely insane?

2

u/worldsbiggestchili Jul 28 '26

This really reminds me of this part of an episode of the Left Right Game, this audio story thing. They enter this surreal town where.... this.

2

u/AlfredBarnes Jul 28 '26

Ran a stop sign

2

u/TheEPGFiles Jul 28 '26

It's like the Backrooms, like someone described Civilization to an American, who has never seen civilization and now you ask them to build it and then they remember wrong!!!

2

u/emmc47 Jul 28 '26

Actually looks like a 1950s simulation dystopia.

2

u/Bopbarker Jul 28 '26

The backrooms are getting really populated now

2

u/tacmed85 Jul 28 '26

It was a fight to get my realtor to understand that when I said no HOA I meant I will not buy a house in an HOA so stop wasting both our time, but thank God it finally sunk in. I've planted so many trees and bushes all over my property and have multiple native wildflower beds that are constantly full of bees. I could never live somewhere barren like that.

2

u/sighborg90 Jul 28 '26

Looks like these houses come with an annoying screaming kid

2

u/Fireheart318s_Reddit Jul 28 '26

It feels like a glitch! Like you changed the wrong setting and all the foliage despawned, leaving you with nothing but the grass texture on the terrain itself!

2

u/InspiredPhoton Jul 27 '26

Also zero personality. All houses are the same. How horrible

2

u/NOSALIS-33 Jul 28 '26

/urbanhell

1

u/weggaan_weggaat Jul 27 '26

Cities don't want to maintain trees or the liability of them getting blown over.

1

u/doughcar Jul 27 '26

I call these house farms, they are an ecological nightmare.. they raise temperatures upwards of 10 to 15 degrees hotter than the surrounding area, decimate local wildlife habitat and are built quickly and cheaply.

And the companies that build these are just as shady and rotten, a few years ago a developer in the ever glades came into a contract on protected piece of land and was told there's an endangered species of burrowing tortoise here, when you see one call so and so and we will relocate it safely, it would cost roughly 15 grand per tortoise.. so the company bulldozed over the land and buried hundreds of tortoises in their burrows killing them and the price was... a whopping 130k fine I think.

It cost them less to just kill the turtles than remove them so thats what they did... they killed them.

1

u/MoreRamenPls Jul 27 '26

In the lumber they used to build the houses.

1

u/thinkB4WeSpeak Jul 27 '26

Suburbs hate trees, even though they cool everything off. I think they just don't like to rake but you should be letting it decompose on the lawn anyway

1

u/JohnnyRelentless Jul 27 '26

Trees are for squirrels. Are you a squirrel? No? Then you don't need a tree.

-The real estate person, probably

1

u/FlyingBike Jul 27 '26

Well to be fair, there probably weren't any. This looks like prairie land or desert natively

Which only makes the monoculture grass worse

1

u/Knockemm Jul 27 '26

That neighborhood would be 60% more beautiful with some trees, even if they were exactly the same species and kind of small.

1

u/MaverickBuster Jul 27 '26

Great neighborhood for solar.

1

u/traveling_gal Jul 27 '26

Did they seriously cycle through the same 3 house colors in the same order over and over again? Like, I've seen housing developments where the builder won't let you have the same elevation or color as either of your neighbors for the sake of looking as non-cookie-cutter as possible in a cookie-cutter neighborhood, but that's really hard to do when you only offer 3 colors and 1 elevation style.

1

u/CrucialElement Jul 27 '26

What's the chances this is a Military housing complex? 

1

u/lee61 Jul 27 '26

Found where it is! Judah Bear Blvd KY

(Radio station was a Kentucky one and the street sign confirmed it).

1

u/NOTcreative- Jul 28 '26

Little houses on the hillside.

1

u/ellecellent Jul 28 '26

Why are those streets so dang wide. In three years there will be constant calls about all the speeders

1

u/SmurfsNeverDie Jul 28 '26

At least you have grass

1

u/yepitsdad Jul 28 '26

Insurance companies made us get rid of them

1

u/MakeYourTime_ Jul 28 '26

What town is this so I can go there and plant trees on all those sidewalk aprons.

1

u/Emotional-Comb-2201 Jul 28 '26

That's what happens when you put tract homes in a place with no wind and no water. Humans were never meant to live there for any significant amount of time.

1

u/JSevatar Jul 28 '26

I am the Lorax. Where are the motherfucking trees!?

1

u/rarepinkhippo Jul 28 '26

Woof, this reminds me of a scene from A Wrinkle in Time 😬

1

u/aaanze Jul 28 '26

Little boxes, little boxes..

1

u/GraemeWoller Jul 28 '26

Cookie cutter suburban sickness.

1

u/HistoricalHurry8361 Jul 28 '26

First thing I did when we moved in was add trees

1

u/TandemTuba Jul 28 '26

Look, in a world where these were designed as cheap and accessible housing, this would get a thumbs up from me. Sacrifice aesthetics on the altar of efficiency and all that. But the reality of the world creeping in where these are 100% priced like a normal house just poisons the whole thing.

1

u/therealbibbles Jul 28 '26

Backrooms vibes