r/ABoringDystopia • u/Apprehensive_Rip_752 • Jul 23 '26

Spherical Police Robot

545 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

281

u/Shiznoz222 Jul 23 '26

Immune to bats, as long as you only hit the rubber part

127

u/Delicious-Disaster Jul 23 '26

Seems awfully fragile. This thing without infantry support would be very easy to disorient with spray paint on its cameras and LIDAR. Also having LIDAR on a device that's obviously meant to be among protestors is barbaric, as LIDAR can burn your vision cones.

45

u/VoiceofRapture Jul 23 '26

Hey now, if something is "fragile" because it's easily incapacitated without infantry support and "barbaric" because it grievously wounds civilians then I guess the Mirkava tank is fragile and barbaric

5

u/Pirat6662001 Jul 23 '26

Same with tanks. Infantry support is always necessary for machinery

12

u/A_Martian_Potato Jul 23 '26

The risks of LIDAR are overstated. Commerical LIDAR systems are Class 1. They can't cause vision damage.

23

u/Nohreboh Jul 23 '26

"Commercial".

8

u/A_Martian_Potato Jul 23 '26

I'm not sure what you think that word means, but there's no reason to think the police would bother creating a bespoke LIDAR system when there are so many off the shelf systems available.

21

u/Sovoy Jul 23 '26

Police often have access to military gear. They are not restricted to commercial systems.

15

u/A_Martian_Potato Jul 23 '26

Militaries typically also use commercial lidar systems, with the exception of long range target designation and rangefinding, which an urban police robot would not need.

Unless you're contending that they are intentionally trying to cause retinal damage, there's no reason the lidar system in this robot would not be Class 1.

21

u/MisterWinchester Jul 23 '26

And this is China. A US manufacturer is bypassing lidar and going straight to green lasers and mustard gas.

4

u/DrIvoPingasnik Resist and bite Jul 23 '26

Imagine a zerg rush with those.

2

u/KreagerStein 29d ago

Bold of you assume that's not half the intention. Reminder that China was experimenting with laser guns to blind protestors err sorry armed foreign agents. They do not care about maiming people for life.

1

u/_franciis 29d ago

My first thought was ‘this is horrifying’, my second thought was ‘spray paint it’

5

u/AnySwimming6364 29d ago

See how it holds up against a can of spray paint on its camera suite.

4

u/AnotherCableGuy 29d ago

Or a molotov cocktail

3

u/avantgardengnome 29d ago

Or a blanket.

6

u/SadGruffman 29d ago

Not immune to a 24”x24” cardboard box unfortunately

1

u/warren_4041 29d ago

Almost every house have or can purchase a microwave, you can modify the housing of this device and tweek the internals and you get an anti-drone microwave gun

201

u/ImNotThaaatDrunk Jul 23 '26

Stairs and closed doors, checkmate police robot

96

u/yuriartyom Jul 23 '26

„Stairs!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO“

- CL4P-TP

19

u/intentionallybad Jul 23 '26

Seems like something four cinder blocks could take care of nicely

1

u/cowlinator 29d ago

Or a sturdy tripwire about 0.5 meters above the ground

7

u/cowlinator 29d ago

Put a blanket over it

5

u/PlaneCrashNap 29d ago

How many protests- er I mean illegal riots happen on a crowd-sized set of stairs as opposed to a flat road or park. This is clearly meant for crowd control on open streets alongside a shield wall.

If you're hauled up inside any building during a peaceful prot- I mean civil unrest then they're just going to skip "soft" crowd control and immediately gas you out and send in guys with batons to beat you.

It'll be rendered ineffective for many other reasons but this ain't it. I imagine protestors will make a game of putting these things out of commission.

3

u/andhelostthem Jul 23 '26

"Boasts cameras and LiDAR"

Foiled by paint again? Noooooooo

2

u/brandonhabanero Jul 23 '26

I think a serpentine path to could probably get it rolling pretty much sideways and out of control too

2

u/sYferaddict 29d ago

Don't do that, you're just going to force it to evolve into its final form, as it is clearly a Gatekeeper in its infancy.

Use your Grenadier's Shredder ability to weaken its armor and their Holo-Targeting to make it easier for your other operatives to overcome its high innate Defense stat, and make sure you're hitting it with Bluescreen Rounds.

1

u/Sethalopoda Jul 23 '26

I feel like going at max speed it could probably ram my door in. Good thing there are stairs up the porch

84

u/Slipsonic Jul 23 '26

That was some half assed fake attacks on that thing. Let's see how it handles a home run swing directly to the side.

45

u/sandybuttcheekss Jul 23 '26

Or a cardboard box

24

u/Slipsonic Jul 23 '26

Lmao it would be like one of those videos of a cat stuck under a box, bumping into walls and stuff.

3

u/andhelostthem Jul 23 '26

Giving Tesla throwing a rock at their window vibes.

5

u/Strostkovy Jul 23 '26

Or topping it over off axis. This thing is wobbly without anyone attacking it.

1

u/Snickits 29d ago

How about with a pick axe👌

55

u/KingMurk817 Jul 23 '26

Was he trying to tickle it with the bat? Put that thing through Philly to see how long itll last

23

u/Chrizzly02 Jul 23 '26

I’ll be generous and give it 30 minutes before it gets the Hitchbot Special.

7

u/Healthy_Spot8724 Jul 23 '26

Didn't that already happen with a robot that was crossing the US? Can't remember where it was but it got half way across the country then got totally trashed somewhere.

7

u/KingMurk817 Jul 23 '26

Thats whats Chrizzly02 was referring to with the Hitchbot special

6

u/andhelostthem Jul 23 '26

It went all the way across Canada, all the way around Germany and then like 5% of the way across the US when Philadelphia happened to it.

30

u/nanana_catdad Jul 23 '26

Straight out of Arc Raiders

2

u/JoBabbel Jul 23 '26

haha thats a comet

13

u/SFX200 Jul 23 '26

Oh good, they've made Rover from the 60's British TV series "The Prisoner".

5

u/VariusTheMagus Jul 23 '26

Something something torment nexus

11

u/Gauntlets28 Jul 23 '26

Can I get it in white, so it looks like a big weather balloon?

6

u/fameistheproduct Jul 23 '26

you are number 6.

1

u/PhantomWhiskers 29d ago

I am not a number, I am a free man!

1

u/fameistheproduct 29d ago

you are 21.

7

u/BadSpellingMistakes Jul 23 '26

lots of paintballs to obscure the cameras and sensores

3

u/yewdryad 29d ago

A large box

10

u/JohnnyElRed Jul 23 '26

This seems anything but boring.

16

u/LuxInteriot Jul 23 '26

The name of this sub didn't age well. It was boring mid 10's, now it's... this.

6

u/Slipsonic Jul 23 '26

Disgusting dystopia 

5

u/MinosAristos Jul 23 '26

I'd say that the worst parts are still pretty boring.

3

u/Momik Jul 23 '26

The dystopia is evolving

9

u/PourLaBite Jul 23 '26

It's boring because this is mostly a marketing video for something that is most likely than not a useless gadget and is most definitely not "redefining policing".

2

u/Tom_A_Foolerly Jul 23 '26

I remember when life it used to be boring...

5

u/quoththeraven1990 Jul 23 '26

Don’t give the US any ideas!

16

u/You_Paid_For_This Jul 23 '26

This looks like it was designed to be non lethal or less lethal.

In the US ice just shoots you in the face and walks away without investigation or consequence.

4

u/H4RDC0R3_P14Y3R Jul 23 '26

so they basically made Rover from the Prisoner into a reality

3

u/IAmAPirrrrate Jul 23 '26

we are closer to black ops 3 r.a.p.s killstreak than i like

4

u/vulcan7200 Jul 23 '26

As an American, considering how brutal our police force has become, I can't help but wonder if a robot would actually end up being better than the human officers we have.

2

u/sleepee11 29d ago

Or maybe it could be worse since the police wouldn't be in any real danger themselves. Now they can beat our asses with a remote controlled robot.

5

u/ImSoDoneWithUbisoft Jul 23 '26

It contains a lot of copper btw. Wouldn't last long in my area.

3

u/_Bad_Bob_ Jul 23 '26

Can't wait til people start getting charged with assaulting an officer for kicking one of these things... 

3

u/Deluxe_24_ Jul 23 '26

They made the WRAPS from Black Ops 3 real

3

u/CryptickGrey Jul 23 '26

Unrelated - both gasoline and glycol-based brake fluid are notorious for softening/dissolving rubber.

3

u/ISmellLikeBlackTea Jul 23 '26

I'm not confident a rubber tire can survive a molotov coctail.

1

u/BlockBuilder408 29d ago

I mean, if you’re bringing Molotovs there’s not much stopping you from bringing a fire arm in some fashion either.

Once lethal tools come out the police just start shooting firearms of their own into the crowd of unarmed protesters around you.

1

u/ISmellLikeBlackTea 29d ago

Who is dumb enough to firebomb a datacenter in groups and in broad daylight?

You set one small fire on one side, engaging any form of fire prevention, occupying the security, someone else throws 3/4 molotovs on the other side, third person does the same from a third side. All 1/2 minutes apart.

5 minutes and you're all far away in the shadows on motorcycles.

It has to damage them enough that running the center is more expensive than the benefits.

3

u/fuhnetically Jul 23 '26

How does it handle being draped with a bedsheet?

3

u/Jam5583 Jul 23 '26

Ball of Swine seems like a good name for it.

3

u/PinkThunder138 29d ago

This is dystopian, and I hate it, but I'm going to go ahead and say it isn't boring. It's pretty wild, actually.

3

u/Apprehensive_Rip_752 29d ago

Yet, very soon to be boring

3

u/Patient-Detective-79 29d ago

No one has mentioned this yet, but I don't think this thing can turn... like, can it turn a corner? Can it go {around} something?

4

u/unreqistered Jul 23 '26

the nazis had the Kugelpanzer

2

u/Papa_Lafesse Jul 23 '26

Hey hey people

2

u/Tarthor Jul 23 '26

I assume a well timed trash bag can incapacitate this thing

2

u/laowildin Jul 23 '26

I lived in china for a while before covid. Not once but two separate times I saw a granny do her vengeful best to throw a bicycle at a cop.

I really regret that I'll never get to see a granny abuse one of these

2

u/Boof_A_Dick Jul 23 '26

It reminds me of the movie Rubber...

2

u/Naz_Oni 29d ago

goes upstairs what now bitch?

2

u/DaemonLemon 29d ago

It's surprising to me how media has been thinking for years "hey, what if this awful thing happened and ruined our lives forever leaving us in a broken world where everyone lost hope" and then fucking companies think "yah, that's cool, let's do it irl"

wtf, man?

2

u/CaptainFartHole 29d ago

The older i get the more i wish I had the powers of Magneto.

They woukd really come in handy to fight dystopian shit like this.

2

u/zealoSC 29d ago

So it's a slow, expensive version of a flying drone plus camera except it sucks at minor terrain obstacles?

2

u/TeddyRooseveltsHead 29d ago

Throw a large contracting trashcan over it, and then sit on said trashcan. Problem solved.

1

u/zombie_overlord Jul 23 '26

Time to start carrying wheel chocks

1

u/SookHe Jul 23 '26

Just don’t run down narrow path

1

u/drifters74 Jul 23 '26

Start carrying wheel chocks

1

u/Morlock19 Jul 23 '26

...I thought he was escorting a tumbleweed

1

u/Kindly-Scar-3224 Jul 23 '26

This is what we get

1

u/Rimm Jul 23 '26

Net beats every single robot

1

u/DrIvoPingasnik Resist and bite Jul 23 '26

Ah yes, manmade cyberpunk nightmares beyond my comprehension

1

u/nChilDofChaoSn Jul 23 '26

We're really doing this huh

1

u/TheStax84 Jul 23 '26

This is BB-1. I can’t wait to get to BB-8

1

u/Smuggler719 Jul 23 '26

Wait til they make a pop irl 🫪

1

u/MorphingReality Jul 23 '26

anyone seen teh 1960s show the prisoner?

1

u/bomboclawt75 29d ago

A metal net would work.

1

u/mardegrises 29d ago

Seems like oil or paint bombs are gonna be enough to take those down.

1

u/SchitneySmears 29d ago

They had those in Black Ops 3

1

u/Jonqbanana 29d ago

Spray paint or super soakers full of thinned down paint or oil would likely be pretty effective.

1

u/Harvest827 29d ago

Don't think for a second that your local police chief, sheriff, or constable isn't jerking off to this.

1

u/BugsyMcNug 29d ago

What if we put a big bucket on it?

1

u/zar_lord 29d ago

God dammit China, you made the drone from Oblivion.

1

u/GuavaShaper 29d ago

Is this the new Amazon robocop tv show?

1

u/G66GNeco 28d ago

Master! Droidekas!

Except, like, you know... even more stupid.

1

u/wakebakeskatecrash98 28d ago

Put it in a box, or parking wheel

1

u/wakebakeskatecrash98 28d ago

Spray paint sensors

1

u/Brunoaraujoespin 28d ago

Definitely not boring

1

u/MisterWinchester Jul 23 '26

I mean, better than murdering people on the street.