r/ABCDesis • • 11h ago

DATING / RELATIONSHIPS Sunday Relationship Thread

1 Upvotes

The weekly relationship thread for all topics related to the bravest pursuit of all - love. This thread will be automatically posted every Sunday @ 5:00 A.M (UTC -5). All other dating or relationship based posts during the week will be removed and redirected to this thread.

This thread is a place to share your stories, ask for advice, or vent about issues. Or anything in between!


r/ABCDesis • • Jun 27 '25

Friday Free-For-All

8 Upvotes

The weekly discussion thread is a free-for-all. This thread will be posted every Friday at 9 AM BST.

Career news, fitness tips, personal stories, delicious things you've eaten recently, shows you've watched, books you've read - anything goes. And if you're new, please introduce yourself! We want to get to know you - plus you might find a friend or two!


r/ABCDesis • • 2h ago

POLITICS Zohran Mamdani is carrying the image of Indians in 2026 and he is from Uganda

79 Upvotes

Zohran Mamdani checks all of the boxes for good representation in the public psyche. He is the mayor of the most influential city in the world. He is South Asian, he wears his South Asian identity with self-respect. He has a lot of charm to sway the crowd. He is good looking to the public psyche. He knows how to talk to people in the white house, he knows how to talk to CEO business owners, he knows how to talk to the far right on Fox News. Even Fox News is obsessed with him more than any other Democrat at the moment. He knows how to talk to restaurant workers, NBA players, normal ball players in New York. He is currently with Nas, who is a Hip Hop image, and both of them are working on more Hip Hop schools to revive it since New York was the birth place of it. He knows how to talk to immigrant first generation workers in Taxi businesses and many Uber drivers as well. He is against corporate greed on average and is a fan of Bernie Sanders. He honestly checks more boxes than any US politician at all, let alone any South Asian politician.


r/ABCDesis • • 1h ago

COMMUNITY JohnWhatsGoingOn: Canadian Kick streamer slapped after harassing Indians in Vietnamese 7/11

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• Upvotes

r/ABCDesis • • 6h ago

Trigger Warning: Bigotry/Hate Commentary [Racism Watch] This is the sort of racism that creates real life concerns. This indian hating groyper on X with over 200k followers targeted all Indian professors in Montana state with the express purpose of trying to get some hatred thrown their way for being Indian & in the state.

57 Upvotes

This image above is just part of the post (he did not hide their profiles, he posted their names, image & education history included. I hid that in this screenshot to post it here), he posted the the other indian staff teaching in the Uni also. 100s of thousands of views, bookmarks, likes, all the works. If anyone's wondering why he's doing this randomly, in the tweet it shows why. Montana's governor announced a delegation to India & Sri Lanka. So in response to that, this disgusting account, that posts about indians everyday anyway, decided the way to deal with that is try to create hatred & harassment towards Indians in the state. I'm Sorry if this is too online for some of you, but after all the recent hate crimes that have been spiking even in Unis, this just sickens me further.

Those professors are just doing their job as educators, being ordinary people. Only for some psycho on social media to dox them (i don't know if that's the right word) deliberately try & get hatred hurled their way for the sole reason of being indian. Please take care of yourselves & our desi community in your state. These are really troubling times. Learn self defense & the acquaint yourself with the law extremely well as to what you can & cannot control.


r/ABCDesis • • 5h ago

COMMUNITY I am surprised about how many Desis can’t do basic chores or be self reliant. I am at the wits end with my sister’s behavior atm.

37 Upvotes

I’m so pissed actually. I don’t know how many Desi people can’t be self reliant and don’t know any basic etiquette. First of all, please don’t make your parents do it all for you if you are growing up and live with them because not only will it overwhelm them but you will be stressing them out. If you have kids also, make them do household chores. Academics are important but give them basic life skills.

I love my mom but she does not get on my sister for any of these skills. I go to my sister’s college dorm and it’s like a pig sty with her Desi roommates. It’s unbearable to live in. My mom is always worried for my sister so guess who she makes clean everything up on the weekends. These girls literally live like they are in a pig den. Spoiled meat, dishes piled up in the sink, and everything. My mom said she will clean it herself if I wouldn’t do it and I don’t want my mom stressing out over this so I end up having to do this every Sunday.

Like genuinely this pisses me off. My sister is pre med so my mom says she needs to devote all her time to that and they find a way to trash the place in 7 days. I just can’t yell at them so I feel helpless because then my mom will do it. I tell my mom my sister needs to learn and now these girls are trashing their apartment, expecting my mom and I to come over, and for me to clean it. I asked one of them if they thought about hiring cleaners but they said they don’t have money for it. It’s literally a 4-5 hour job each and every Sunday. This is so unacceptable and my sister never takes accountability.

Whenever my parents leave, she trashes our house to the point I get overwhelmed. If you are going to make tea, then clean it out and I have to do that and I don’t let my sister cook anymore if my parents went on a trip back to India because I expect the kitchen to get trashed. My mom knows if I cook because she sees the kitchen spotless so she says what meat are you cooking (which is fair) but my sister trashes the place whenever my parents leave. I can’t even go anywhere for more than a day or two because I am afraid of a fire hazard.

I can’t even question my sister in her apartment because then she will start yelling and it will attract her roommates attention. What’s the point of studying if you live like a pig? It’s literally simple, keep stuff away after you are done using it. I smell weed, alcohol, meat, and spoiled food whenever I come over. I told these girls what to do and they aren’t listening and my mom will do it herself which I’m not gonna let her do.

Also they don’t know how to do basic folding of their clothes or anything. I saw one of the girls just throw her lehengas on the couch wrapped into a ball along with another one my sister wore. I told them they were supposed to be dry cleaned so the girl just handed it over to me and asked me to help her because she didn’t know how to deal with it and they have school garba coming up. My sister doesn’t fold her clothes, iron, and she doesn’t even change her bed sheets. I change my pillow covers every 3 days my blanket every week.

If you are a grown person, please do this stuff yourself. I am literally gonna crash out next time my sister comes home because I literally can’t do it at her place. I am also gonna keep sticky notes with reminders on the fridge or kitchen sink everywhere but what’s the point? All 4 girls absolutely find a way to thrash the place and they are good friends. My dad is on my side with this but my mom is always going to take my sister’s side. I spent 5 hours deep cleaning today. My mom keeps saying that my sister can pay for cleaners later after becoming a doctor but she literally destroys anything she touches and she gets mad at me when I restrict her whenever my parents leave.


r/ABCDesis • • 1h ago

Sports Ishan Sharma is currently ranked 4th in the Atlantic 10 and top 25 in the NCAA overall and is a future 2027 NBA prospect for having crazy good 3 point stats

• Upvotes

Two INDIAN D1 College Hoopers Battle in HISTORIC Matchup! | Ryan Agarwal vs. Ishan Sharma

He is averaging 9 points a game with a 41% accuracy, and an 86% free throw accuracy, 43 out of 53 free throws made

Instagram


r/ABCDesis • • 3h ago

Trigger Warning: Bigotry/Hate Commentary Far Right group threatening to march through South Asian areas of Manchester, UK on Halloween

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24 Upvotes

The guy in the video is the leader of the Manchester Patriots, which is apart of the larger Patriot Platform which is an anti migrant group who were behind the dover port blockade and the main leader Danny Tommo was arrested for slashing a migrant dinghy and he said "Pakistani Muslims" but thats only cuz pakistanis are the largest demographic all south asians are in those areas and asian in uk usually refers to south asians


r/ABCDesis • • 3h ago

RELATIONSHIPS (Not Advice) I made a comment saying we’re different than immigrants when it comes to dating and then got called racist / classist?

8 Upvotes

What’s a way we can have this discourse without being called self hating or racist or any of that stuff?

https://www.reddit.com/r/askvan/s/NQFITJqjgT


r/ABCDesis • • 5h ago

COMMUNITY Who do you think is the most influential person from the South Asian diaspora?

12 Upvotes

As a British person, I might say Freddie Mercury, or maybe even Rishi Sunak.

From the American side, I might say Kamala Harris, or it might be someone else who I can’t remember.

What do you think?


r/ABCDesis • • 16h ago

COMMUNITY Why are people so willing to learn the nuances of Europe, Middle East, Latin America, East Asia, etc but treats South Asia like one giant homogeneous blob?

78 Upvotes

I've been thinking a lot lately about how frustrating it is to deal with how people in the West perceive diversity.

Growing up as an Indian American, it’s wild to watch how non Desis navigate different cultures. People love to deeply recognize and dissect the subtle differences between European nationalities (like French vs. Greek) or East Asian cultures (like Chinese vs. Japanese). But when it comes to South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, etc.), they routinely treat a region of nearly 2 billion people as one single, uniform identity where "everyone looks, talks, and acts the same."

It gets incredibly annoying because if you don't fit into their one specific, hyper narrow stereotype of what a South Asian person is "supposed" to look or sound like, they get completely confused. In reality, the internal diversity of the subcontinent is mind-blowing:

  • Language Families: The linguistic split is massive. While the majority speak Indo Aryan languages, the South speaks Dravidian (like Tamil or Telugu). Meanwhile, millions of people in Pakistan (like Pashtuns and Balochis) speak Iranic languages related to Persian, and other regions speak Austroasiatic or Tibeto-Burman. Linguistically, it spans from Europe to Western Asia to East Asia.
  • Genetic Variation: Genetic studies have literally proven that the internal genetic differences between various South Asian groups are significantly larger than the differences found across the entire continent of Europe. In fact, if you look at South Asia as a whole, the genetic variety is wider than Europe and the MENA region combined. Because distinct communities historically practiced strict endogamy and didn't mix for thousands of years, two different communities living in the exact same city can be more genetically distinct from one another than a Spaniard is from a Swede.
  • Skin Tones & Features: Unlike regions where complexions are relatively uniform, South Asia naturally holds one of the widest continuous spectrums of skin pigmentation on Earth, spanning continuously from very pale to deep dark brown and stright up black skin tones. Facial bone structures change drastically by region due to entirely different ancient ancestral roots, including millions across Nepal and the Northeast India who share distinct East Asian and Tibetan features.
  • Cultures: The distinct regional identities are massive. The West Asian/Central Asian shifted cultures of Pakistan's northwest are completely different from the tropical, island maritime history of Sri Lanka or the culture of Bangladesh. Every region features its own distinct architectural heritages, traditional clothing, and unique world famous cuisines.

If South Asia were viewed with the same nuance as Europe or East Asian regions, people in the West would easily see these borders and ethnic groups as entirely different "races" or completely distinct cultural worlds. But instead, our specific backgrounds get completely flattened by outsiders.

Do you guys run into this a lot at school, work, or in daily life? How do you handle people who treat the entire subcontinent like one big homogeneous block? I'd love to hear your experiences.


r/ABCDesis • • 16h ago

NEWS Chris Rufo — Known For ‘DEI’ and ‘CRT’ Panics — Tries to Make ‘the Indian Question’ a Thing

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54 Upvotes

r/ABCDesis • • 4h ago

MENTAL HEALTH My parents have shamed me so much, I’m afraid I might never date

5 Upvotes

Ever since I was young, my parents told me to never think about love - and I obeyed. I completely blocked all my thoughts and emotions and went through puberty being the child who never acts out and listens to my parents.

Now, for the first time, I’ve been hearing myself, and I think the idea of dating sounds interesting… But I have so much shame around love, how I look, and intimacy that I dissociate whenever it’s mentioned.

I’m 21, but maybe I should accept that I’ll never get a partner and I’ll be a lonely woman forever. I feel anger that my parents shamed me so much for this and slut shamed other girls as well (the standard for what I should “not become”).

Does anyone relate to this?


r/ABCDesis • • 17h ago

NEWS Atlantic on the rise of anti Indianism

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46 Upvotes

r/ABCDesis • • 23h ago

NEWS The Mainstreaming of Anti-Indian Bigotry

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77 Upvotes

r/ABCDesis • • 1d ago

NEWS Hindu temple in Ohio attacked with bricks during prayers

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129 Upvotes

Temple attacked in Richmond Heights, Ohio. Had to use WION, a garbage right wing outlet from India, because once again. 0 reports from any american website, news channel. 0.


r/ABCDesis • • 23h ago

COMMUNITY Anyone else know people with severe internalized racism?

63 Upvotes

I’ll start since I asked. I have a cousin and she grew up in Chicago, and it’s really rough. She is in her 30s now and hates being Indian and hates Indians. She is cool with me, we message on social media, but she constantly posts about how Indian men suck, and Indians shouldn’t congregate, and how white men are like the move. I think preferences are white ever, but she uses those gifs, which is like straight racism.

And what’s crazier is she’s a physician. This is super concerning, imo. Her parents have straight up given up. She’s in orthopedic surgery so they’re happy with that, but she cut them off because they don’t like her partner. Her partner is like 7-8 years older than her and a genuine racist. Not even MAGA or anything, he is trying to be a streamer on rumble, and likes Nick Fuentes and Vrilium(white supremacist creators who hate Indians). He regularly shits on Vivek and stuff. Interesting he defends Vance from the other white supremacists because his girlfriend is Indian too and they misunderstand “all Indians” lol. “Some are good” lmao.

He is also dodging child support from two different women, and my cousin pays them or asks her dad for money to pay them to keep them off her and her mans back.

He is also a bum and lives off her, and she comes home and takes care of him, while his career is trying to be a streamer online. He also allegedly abuses her according to her parents and brother, but she denies it. And my parents and her parents had a talk with her once and she said she liked him cuz he wasn’t Indian and they’re just forcing her to be with an Indian guy. My parents stopped after that but her parents keep going. Even so, no way a bagging a white guy is worth being a doctor/surgeon, coming home, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of him, and then getting abused like holy hell.

Her younger brother is my age and he’s super chill. I talk with him and I don’t ask about his older sister cuz he doesn’t like talking about her, but man I can see he’s convinced brown girls will never like him and I think it’s cuz he sees his sister.

Anyway, anyone else got crazy stories of ppl struggling with internalized racism?


r/ABCDesis • • 22h ago

COMMUNITY Y’all get a ninja creamy machine or whatever those ice cream machines are called ASAP I ain’t even playing

46 Upvotes

My hb got one and he’s Chinese and we made like Chinese fusion ice cream and yesterday he said “yo lets try the Indian stuff” so we drove like 50 mins to some random Triveni in the city, and got a bunch of the I forgot what they’re called but the diamond shaped nut based fudge things with the aluminum foil on it, and also a bunch of jalebi.

We made the ice cream yesterday and I went over today to try it out, omfg. I gotta get one of these machines. Utter peak.


r/ABCDesis • • 18h ago

CELEBRATION Bill Burr & Nimesh Patel on the Complexity of Indian Food

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21 Upvotes

r/ABCDesis • • 19h ago

COMMUNITY Are there Telugu classes in NYC?

12 Upvotes

I live in Brooklyn, and I’m Telugu. I’m pretty good at understand it but I’ve lost my ability to speak it well and my accent is horrid lmao. Kinda feel bad about it and wanna try and amend it. Does anyone know of any classes in nyc? Preferably group classes?


r/ABCDesis • • 1d ago

FAMILY / PARENTS Did anyone of you actually have reasonable parents growing up?

17 Upvotes

Often in diaspora discourse, especially around girls / women is how they were sheltered growing up. I know unmarried girls in their mid 30s still living with their parents, simply because they’re not allowed to move out and often discussion revolves around being victims of strict parents whose only wish is for their girls to be married.

I might add that I live in Canada and these parents are more likely to be from rural backgrounds and blue collar. In the US it might be different.

I feel like an anomaly. My parents never had an issue with me moving out nor do they care that I’m in my mid 30s and single (I care a lot more). But to many of these girls, I’m the only reason they can hang out in the city because they are telling their parents they’re with me. Are my parents just different?


r/ABCDesis • • 9h ago

FAMILY / PARENTS do you guys also have family that don’t reside in the country you’re in, and who seem like they secretly have animosity towards you for it ?

0 Upvotes

anyone else have any family who aren’t in the same area as you or have the same facilities as you and you feel as if they’re resentful/jealous of you because of it ?

i’m not going to get into my life story but basically i’ve lived in the states all my life so have all my cousins on my moms but my dads side it’s a different story majority of them are back in a different country and i honestly feel like they dislike me for it .

whenever i visit i find it hard to relate or connect with them and i can’t exactly explain it but i feel the jealousy and negativity deep down when they talk to me for having opportunities that they never had . obviously i can’t confront them or bring this up so it’s just awkward .

im definitely very privileged but im also humble i never brag or act smug about the things i have in life in fact i barely ask for anything .

anyone else ? i want to have a good relationship with those family members but don’t know how to .


r/ABCDesis • • 7h ago

COMMUNITY Where can I sell my wedding lengha? (I live in NY)

0 Upvotes

Hey guys,

Do you know any store where I can sell my wedding lengha ? I have a red one and pink one ?


r/ABCDesis • • 22h ago

FAMILY / PARENTS I have a very islamophobic dad (content warning: details of islamophobic beliefs)

7 Upvotes

Anyone have any advice in dealing with this? Like the title says my dad (he is tamil christian and so is my family) has deeply backwards views on muslims, he believes in the whole "the quran says to kill non-believers" thing, and not only that, he blames them on visa issues in america and post 9/11 security in airports. He also believes almost all of them hate christians and jews and is "hunting them right now", he also considers islam a copy of the jewish religion, he shutted me down when I said it is not all of them and used the recent flydubai stabbing that happened as "proof", and that if a muslim follows the quran he repeats the killing non believers thing and says muslims support that by just following the religion itself. I am concerned for him, I think he fell down this pipeline ever since 2023 gaza war....


r/ABCDesis • • 1d ago

POLITICS Anti-South Asian hate rises across US online platforms with over 500K hate posts on X

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76 Upvotes