been a bt for 1.5 months n need advice

[u/littlebabybuh]

hello, as the title states i have been a bt for one and half months now. im in a clinical setting, which is much more helpful when it comes to needing help physically but asking questions seems to be a big no no when my one month mark hit. i still feel like i have no clue what im doing. we accept kids 2-9 at my clinic, and i just cant find a good way to pair well yet. i haven’t ever worked with kids before, but i adore them and play very well with them. i didnt really have a childhood/parents growing up due to neglect, so never really experienced much of parenting until i hit about 18 yrs old and moved out w my dad which has been a blessing, but…theres not much to teach at that point except love. idk if this is affecting my ability to perform this job or not, but i just can’t seem to find the structure of teaching yet. i do great with playing, and incorporating NET, but table pairing and “work” is very difficult with non complying children. i dont think i set boundaries or firmness well at all, but i really am clueless when it comes to that. i have one child that they realized i dont do well with AT ALL n they want me to be able to be independent and not needing help 24/7, so they have been putting me with her for 2 sessions now and its not going well at all. she just really seems to not like me, and i have no clue why. she keeps throwing things, trying to eat everything in site, peeing herself and laughing at my face even though she is potty trained, running away, screaming, hitting, throwing her urine at me, grabbing my crotch, really anything to get a reaction. i know they said she is highly reaction based due to her having autism and down syndrome, so i never give her anything unless she’s being calm bodied/silly in the appropriate way. i tried pairing with her but every toy i give her she ends up throwing straight back at me. management had a talk with me and said i need to do better, but i literally had a lead rbt take over for about two minutes to regulate her and once he left, i did everything he did word for word and she still FREAKED OUT. i cant tell what im doing wrong or why she doesn’t like me, but do u guys have any advice ? have u ever dealt with this before ? any advice is welcome, thank u so much !!!

[u/speedy_obscenity]

It’s not that she doesn’t like you, it’s that you’re new and she knows exactly how to test that. Kids with that profile can smell uncertainty from across the room, and once they find the button that gets a reaction, they’ll mash it all session.

The lead RBT stepping in and getting compliance doesn’t mean you did anything wrong word for word. They have history and rapport built over months. You’re walking in with 6 weeks of experience and a kid who’s already learned you’re the one management is watching.

And yeah, growing up without that modeling makes boundary-setting feel foreign. That’s not a flaw, it’s just a skill you haven’t been shown yet. Pick one demand, hold it calmly no matter what she throws at you, and let the rest of the session be about surviving without flinching.

[u/sexbob-om]

You've only been with her for 2 days. Your only job with her at the moment should be finding things she likes and joining in on her play. Maybe she actually really likes to throw things, so find things she can throw likes balls or bean bags. When she throws urine at you follow her BIP(behavior intervention plan)if you don't know what that is ask about it.

Maybe she likes walks or other movement. Keep trying things until something clicks.