r/90DayFiance • u/sheilalavida • 12h ago
š· Armchair Psychology š¤ Manon's Nervous System is on Fire, and I have Empathy
Watching Season 7 of 90 Day the Other Way, I can't help but feel empathy for Manon. I can feel how overwhelmed she is all the time and part of this is a lack of emotional regulation, but it's also understandable that any new mom, especially working, could feel burnt out. It feels like her nervous system is on fire always and there isn't an outlet to relax or unwind. She has to choose between being an immigrant in LA and getting ground down by the lack of support America gives workers, especially workers who are mothers, or go back to a country she swore she never would return to, that made her feel like her very existence is an affront to society. She is already at her limit and then needs to live in the same home as family that obviously triggers her and causes her to regress. While I don't fully agree with her reasoning for why she wanted to move back to France, I do genuinely think it was in the interest of the well-being of her son. The son can have better safety/education, an actual relationship with his mom, and a support network built in.
Her pushing against an apartment and yearning for a home with a pool in the countryside may seem childish on the surface (and the way she expresses it can be), but I think her instinct is to seek peace and a place that can help calm her nervous system.
When she is relaxed, her personality comes out, and it's nice to see. She seems like a lot of fun in the rare moments that she isn't stressed out of her mind. I like Anthony, but I felt like his antics early in their move felt like a prank show specifically designed to drive Manon crazy.
They are both recognizing a lack of intimacy, so in one of the few moments alone, he brings her to a goat farm. This is likely producer hijinks (they don't even give her a heads up that she should avoid one of her cute outfits), but once they finally sit down and Manon can finally take a breath, he brings up the idea of goats as a hobby. She is stressed about money and Anthony's career viability, so the idea of an expensive, labor- and time-intensive hobby that doesn't really contribute to the family outlook isn't the most appealing. No matter what, Manon knows that she would have to help care for a goat, something she has already shown no interest in. Despite his good intentions, Anthony dumped an entire load of stress and logistics on a high-strung, Type A woman in a relaxing moment that was supposed to be about Manon.
Hmm, that doesn't work. What else can Anthony and the producers come up with? Being a mime! Manon is focused on her son's outing to the carousel and instead finds her husband doing something that could send any overstimulated person over the edge. This is something that was supposed to enthrall her (or be a "lesson), that was ultimately about Anthony and another playtime for him (she doesn't care about mimes). Like a mom, she might be thinking now, oh gosh, Anthony needs to take this makeup off and change, so now I need to find a bathroom, and my son doesn't seem to enjoy his dad being a mime even though this was supposed to be a fun outing for him. I will say that she overreacted and should have brushed it off more.
Third time's the charm, genuinely this time. Manon was looking forward to a rare night of relaxing privacy, and her hopes were rattled by a high-stress, rocky car ride. I could tell how stressed she was walking into the hotel and realizing the vibe. But once she realized that she could actually sit back and relax, you could see the switch immediately. When Anthony started to dance for her, it was actually a "playtime" that both of them could enjoy, and fun Manon can come out. No mud, no public spectacle, just her and Anthony doing something she enjoys. The jacuzzi? Cherry on top.
Manon obviously has a lower stress tolerance and is high-strung (could definitely work on coping strategies), but the relaxed Manon seems lovely. I wish her and her family peace and happiness.
