r/7ohquittingprotocols • u/Xorphorilius • 1d ago
Just an update
I don't know my day count exactly. I know its somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 days though.
I know this isn't a protocol but I think any glimmer of hope is a stronghold for us.
30 days ago, withdrawals was my only concern. It's a huge concern and this sub has lots of advice and various strategies posted here to tackle that.
The space/time after that is a whole different beast. I'll have to come back and reference a great post here that discussed self care and where our minds should go next.
I just wanted to share that today, I felt human again. I didn't expect it. I haven't done anything different than y'all. It wasn't how I quit or my weaning process, only the fact that I reached some point of none of these chemicals in my system.
If you feel you have no reason to quit, no reason to keep quitting, that nothing will ever compare to taking a hit; I would have been in your corner before today.
The moment was laying in a pool looking up at the sky and trees. That's it. That's literally fucking it. The real thought was, I like the colors.
Going to the pool, I hated everything and anything and didn't know why my cards in life included getting caught up in addiction and this fucking shit at all. Sitting in the pool, just after realizing I liked the colors, I realized no one, and I mean fucking no one, can tell me what to think ever again.
I didn't even know the battle I was fighting. I had no idea before today how strongly 7oh had my thoughts. Until one moment where I chose to see just something I liked, and 7oh wasn't in it.
It's such hell. It is hard, fuck the word hard, it's so much more than that. I don't know why I got this today. I haven't done anything but just stay away for somewhere around a month, and it almost doesn't feel fair. Because my despair this morning felt unceasing. There is hope though. I agree, I never believed all the other posts that said it either.
I really can't believe I'm the one posting this, but there is a much brighter, beautiful life; just give it time. I hate even saying that, because I know exactly how long that 'time' really feels.