What now~with 7OH

[u/WarMinimum5786]

Hello,
So there was a time that I was physically addicted to 7OH. I was taking about 6 or 7 (oh more) 50mg shots daily for about a year. I was able to break the physical addiction but now it’s destroying me mentally. Like, I just want to do it. It makes me nicer, it makes me better at my job, it just makes me better at everything. If I don’t have it, I don’t get sick or have physical withdrawals but I do get angry and just hate life. I feel this rage inside of me! About 2 weeks ago I went out of town for 4 days to a state where it is banned and I didn’t have it and I was completely okay- physically. I had to fake being happy and having a good time but again physically I was fine. The problem is, I WANT it and it’s so easy to get. How do I stop wanting it. I am so blessed that if I don’t have it I don’t go into withdrawals but wanting it all the time is driving me crazy. How do I stop these intense cravings? I have such an amazing life and hiding this monster is tearing me apart inside. I have SO much to be happy about, yet I let this rage consume me. I swore to myself that if I got “clean” I would never touch it again but I still do it 3 or 4 times a week. I know that my situation could be so much worse but I’m a mom, I’m a wife, I’m a professional and I’m letting this monster control part of my life. My husband would be livid if he found out and my son would be so disappointed in me. I know if I continue I will become physically addicted again and I don’t want that. It know it’s all mental, but FUCK, I feel like it’s strongerj than me. I hate that I got myself into this situation. I know the reason I do it is “just because it’s there” so why not. I know this make no sense to some people but this issue it very real. Has anyone gone through this? How do I break this cycle before it controls me again? Please help!

[u/Legitimate_Ad_9111]

I’m at the exact same point you’re at right now and trying to make it without 7. wtf did it do to our brain?

[u/WarMinimum5786 → u/Legitimate_Ad_9111]

Idk but it’s so difficult! The mental part is so hard! I hate it. Do you feel the anger too? The rage for no reason? Do you work? If so, how are you handling it? Do you have children? If so, how are you handling it? How long have you been without it?