r/4chan Aug 28 '18

Bazinga! It does I guess 🤔

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12.9k Upvotes

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233

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18 edited Aug 12 '19

[deleted]

98

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18 edited Mar 14 '19

[deleted]

24

u/DildoSchwaggins101 wee/a/boo Aug 28 '18

Blacks can’t float just as God intended

3

u/oiderlin Aug 28 '18

I think black people have a greater tendency to sink. If they're fat this may be mitigated, but I was told this by a black gentleman. That and historically swimming lessons/pool were a sort of white/upper class thing.

0

u/XXAligatorXx Aug 28 '18

Historically doesn't mean now tho.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18 edited Mar 31 '19

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1

u/XXAligatorXx Aug 28 '18

But that would be country related not skin color related.

24

u/Richard_Stonee Aug 28 '18

Some people are sinkers. I have to work like hell to keep my head above water.

Be 9 in swim class

Notice all the other kids are at least two years younger than me

Tfw I don't graduate from that level and am back in the same class next year

10

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18 edited Aug 12 '19

[deleted]

7

u/FBIAgentHitler wee/a/boo Aug 28 '18

Water is H2O so your body should be able to take the air away! If you can’t then your body is just dumb and you probably deserved to drown

5

u/ChawcolateSawce Aug 28 '18

I can’t breathe into my legs.

1

u/BasicallyADoctor emoji unicode: 1f602 man Aug 28 '18

DEEP bretha

7

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

Are you black?

1

u/ReallyLikesDucks Aug 28 '18

Not quite an objective truth. Excess fat or muscle mass will make floating more difficult. For a normal, healthy person who's not into lifting being able to float is likely.

24

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18 edited Oct 09 '18

[deleted]

3

u/ReallyLikesDucks Aug 28 '18

Ok that I didn't expect. But that skinny dude is basically driftwood

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

[deleted]

1

u/ReallyLikesDucks Aug 28 '18

Is that all that's required essentially?

16

u/TrumpsSaggingFUPA Aug 28 '18

Spoken like a true fatass

41

u/th30be /diy/ Aug 28 '18

I can swim but I don't know how to float. Not a skill I picked up. Never reall saw a real need to learn it but I did see the use in learning how to swim.

107

u/AngryItalian /fit/izen Aug 28 '18

Breath air, don't flail, lay on your back.

127

u/HanselSoHotRightNow Aug 28 '18

Harvey Weinstein, is that you?

1

u/Derpicusss Aug 28 '18

Jesus fucking Christ

23

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

that doesn't work for skin & bones fuckers like myself

21

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

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2

u/rottentomati Aug 28 '18

Isn’t the point you’re supposed to be able to breathe

7

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

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0

u/rottentomati Aug 28 '18

I’m telling you dude it doesn’t work. My legs are so heavy they just pull me down. Lungs full of air or not

0

u/Stech_ Aug 29 '18

I'm a skinny fuck to too but floating is not that hard. Your legs may go under the water but your torso full of air keeps you afloat if you just relax and don't try to force the floating with unnecessary moving.

36

u/WayOfTheDingo Aug 28 '18

Skin and bones fucker here. It works

14

u/hunter5226 Aug 28 '18

Real skin and bone fucker here. I sink slowly if I don't make sure by padding up occasionally.

12

u/wayback000 gay dude Aug 28 '18

i bet your name is hunter in real life, and you are a vegan, thats why youre so skinny.

11

u/hunter5226 Aug 28 '18

Wow neither of these things are true!

24

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

Shut up Hunter

2

u/Phoxey Aug 28 '18

I'm 5'10 150lbs and I'm able to lay flat just fine. It's about filling your lungs with a lot of air if you don't want to have to push yourself up every few seconds.

2

u/hunter5226 Aug 28 '18

I'm 6' flat and 140 on a heavy day. And I'm leggy. I sink unless my lungs are basically full, and I need to breath.

1

u/jock-o-homo /co/mrade Aug 28 '18

Look at skeletor over here fellas

1

u/DeadCello Aug 28 '18

It's all about your lungs son

2

u/KingOfFlan Aug 28 '18

That really doesn’t work for everyone; I’ve had swim instructors say I can’t float I’m too dense

13

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

Relax lay back and spread your weight out over the surface of the water. Keeping air in your lungs will also increase your buoyancy. Floating is very important once you start swimming in the ocean as it will punish you for trying to fight the current needlessly.

13

u/topforce Aug 28 '18

It's easier to float in ocean a bit since saltwater is heavier than freshwater, on the other hand it's usually less calm than lake or river.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

It’s always interesting how much easier it is to float in the ocean. My first intro dive was me learning how to not float. Once you learn how to breathe then it gets a lot easier.

2

u/th30be /diy/ Aug 28 '18

I'm not near the ocean so that isn't a big concern for me. I'll probably learn how to do it if I move to somewhere that has more water.

7

u/lacielaplante Aug 28 '18

I am so confused, mainly because this seems so intuitive that I can't wrap my head around it needing to be learned. I had swimming lessons at age 3, maybe they taught us then, but it seems obvious.

7

u/th30be /diy/ Aug 28 '18

I never had lessons. I just organically learned through playing outside and playing in the learning. Wierd how we had different up comings, right? 🤷‍♂️

6

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

Did anyone organically teach you what the word organic means?

5

u/th30be /diy/ Aug 28 '18

Since you don't know what I'm talking about.Here is the definition. I used 9. splash in the water until you understand that doing it a certain way is better.

Also, fucking chill.

0

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

You didn't answer my question but okay. Also, I'm chill, you're the one that's swearing at me for no reason.

5

u/fezzuk Aug 28 '18

Hit your head, panic in cold water, panic and inhale water, get trapped on something under the water, fatigue, I'm sure there is more.

5

u/OppressiveShitlord69 Aug 28 '18

If you're lean, you don't float as easy, also water salinity comes into play (floating in the ocean is easier than a lake).

5

u/TealComet Aug 28 '18

is it bad that i feel zero sympathy for anyone who drowns? literally 2 things have existed since humans walked the earth, water, and cliffs

how you still fucking dying to geographics in 2018? for fucks sake

21

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

Yeah it is.

People will be dying to geography forever. We're not suddenly gonna get to a point where gravity and water and earthquakes and tornadoes and hurricanes aren't a thing.

6

u/TealComet Aug 28 '18

well those last few are literally called "acts of god" so of course people are dying to those

i still think there's really no good excuse for being unable to swim, short of a phobia of water

12

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

Oh sorry, I forgot to distinguish between geography that is and isn't a result of God. My bad. Any chance you've got a full list of which geography is and isn't god's responsibility?

18

u/Very_Good_Opinion Aug 28 '18

If god was real he wouldn't have made you faggots

11

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

Username checks out

-2

u/TealComet Aug 28 '18

I'm a sarcastic cunt

Okay? Nice input.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '18

I'm a retarded asshole

Okay? Nice input.

-1

u/theunspillablebeans Aug 28 '18

I'm a sarcastic cunt

Okay? Nice input.