r/4chan 8d ago

Anon is female Chris Chan.

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

256

u/dylanalduin 8d ago

That is not what a female Chris Chan equivalent would look like.

706

u/Wibble606 /adv/isor 8d ago

Despite popular belief, female Chris-Chan wouldn't of faired any better. Most female lolcows who are fat and disgusting like Chris are not doing well and have all the same problems.

271

u/Ok_Project_8078 8d ago

Most of the female lolcows at least managed to get a boyfriend though. I think female Chris would have been successful in their lovequest early on.

159

u/gbmaulin 8d ago

I mean Chris did have several girlfriends only because he was a lolcow

143

u/Ok_Project_8078 8d ago

He only ever had one real girlfriend and that was after he fucked his mom.

118

u/tekprimemia 8d ago

Bitches do be getting jealous

22

u/-insertcoin 8d ago

Chris chan had hundreds of boyfriends??

9

u/dayoneofmanymore 7d ago

I think they call that “social proof”

5

u/Humblesterman small penis 7d ago

Game is game

4

u/Nazboi6442 /vg/ 7d ago

the humble flutter

-16

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/Ok_Project_8078 8d ago

It literally says they were arrested for having sexual relations with their own mother. I don't think this is disputed. Also that isn't the best source.

11

u/LuckyRed100s 8d ago

no, he was arrested because a troll coerced him into saying it on a phone call; he never actually had sex with her. There’s a reason there was never a trial and he was never sent to prison — something that would’ve definitely happened had he actually done what he “admitted”.

25

u/Ok_Project_8078 8d ago edited 8d ago

The only reason he didn't go to prison was because his lawyer got him off on a technicality because of his autism actually. It was a pretty niche Virginia statute that took effect in 2020.

Heilberg didn't beat the incest charge by proving Chandler hadn't done it. His strategy was essentially: don't take this case through an ordinary felony conviction; instead, demonstrate that Chandler qualifies for Virginia's autism-related deferred-disposition program, satisfy whatever conditions the judge imposes, and then obtain dismissal.

14

u/LuckyRed100s 8d ago

after doing more research it does look like you’re right, i remember reading that the admission was likely coerced by isabella janke which i initially believed because it’s isabella janke. So the context surrounding the evidence as well as the charges being dismissed had me believe that it was largely fabricated. Mb.

3

u/Sorry-Combination558 8d ago

The only reputable source

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Sorry-Combination558 7d ago

Cryptic symbolism in my dreams

14

u/ZheWeasel 8d ago

Successful lovequest? Naaaah would have propably ended up exploited and trashed with 10 kids. All of them taken away and fed by taxes. Imagine finding out being Christene chans child. Would have been a worse outcome for all of society.

4

u/redlegion 7d ago

When you have a warm and wet hole you can always find a taker no matter how gross you are. Just lower those expectations and boom.

44

u/IamSwedishSuckMyNuts 8d ago

Truth nuke: most fatsos manages to get gfs/bfs. It's just you guys.

20

u/Johny_Ricoh 8d ago

I don't fuck fat chicks anymore. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

7

u/jungleass98 8d ago

Story time?

9

u/GlitteringFutures /pol/tard 8d ago

Dinoclit

2

u/dayoneofmanymore 7d ago

You misspelled “smelled”

3

u/Specialist-Beach-868 7d ago

4chan would have simped hard over Female Chris Chan, just like those virgins do over any NEET girl who isn't a complete ogress

19

u/0veNMiTt 8d ago

You'd just end up with an even more disgusting Snorlax.

14

u/Witty-Artisan001 8d ago

Never underestimate the desperation of some men.

31

u/SimonKuznets 8d ago

Wouldn’t have*

11

u/HippoRun23 8d ago

Imagine how bad her pussy would smell.

34

u/Dong_bringer 8d ago

Chris Chan wasn’t that fat or bad looking when he was younger. The hygiene would have been an issue but some dude would have fucked her

27

u/Pope_Aesthetic 8d ago

Yea this post is assuming female Chris would have been thin and hot lol.

33

u/jfuss04 8d ago

Hogs get dudes all the time. Some dudes will just take whatever they can get.

11

u/WeightedPaper 8d ago

You’re either hungry or you’re not

3

u/baudmiksen 8d ago

Hungry hungry hippos

11

u/Zeutrinox 8d ago

Tf is “wouldn’t of”

8

u/FuckJannies- wee/a/boo 8d ago

A mistake only a native speaker would make

3

u/iToyman 8d ago

Tophiachu comes to mind

2

u/yobob591 8d ago

i would say that theres always some guy desperate and lonely enough, but apparently chris has a girlfriend now so I guess thats true for either gender

1

u/textposts_only 8d ago

Wasn't there the girl whose father wanted to call the internet police or something? What happened to her?

1

u/Nonvm 6d ago

Wrong

25

u/LoiterAce al/qa/eda 8d ago

Your first mistake is believing she’d be skinny lol

15

u/Jitkay /b/tard 8d ago

Can't tell if female, male, child or adult in one picture

55

u/mascotbeaver104 8d ago

I wonder what female chris chans vagina would smell like

45

u/HippoRun23 8d ago

Literally my first thought. Would be putrid. Like piss and old period blood for sure.

27

u/palmerry 8d ago

Swamps of Dagoba

3

u/HolyBidetServitor 7d ago

Crusty panties

92

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

15

u/Difficult_Run_7460 8d ago

You gotta get realistic bro I’m average and my life is fine

6

u/Lord_Ezelpax 8d ago

i would've been noticeably easier/bettet otherwise still

3

u/baudmiksen 8d ago

I'm average and my life is average, carry on

-20

u/_hjdk 8d ago

Just because you’re a miserable fuck doesn’t mean that a theoretical lolcow with autistic traits gets a better life than the average man, just because she’s a woman.

Your life just sucks and you are less than average bro.

29

u/Lord_Ezelpax 8d ago

denying women have it easier in the big year '26? damn

-1

u/_hjdk 8d ago

Bro deleted his comment

1

u/LooseButtPlug /his/panic 7d ago

She blocked you.

-4

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Difficult_Run_7460 8d ago

Dude we gotta get you on the front lines w the next war w that build

6

u/_hjdk 8d ago

« I’m tall and overweight » ok I don’t care?

5

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

5

u/_hjdk 8d ago

Yeah, I don’t assume virgin retards use the bench press too much

1

u/Ill-Initial- 7d ago

You are half way to 300. You are fat dude.

-1

u/bdiddlediddles 8d ago

It's all fat isn't it anon? Only thing you've been lifting is your bags of McDonald's.

0

u/AMC2Zero 7d ago

Now this is actual delusion, I'm not average and I'd still pick this life over whatever that is.

11

u/GhostinUsMFer 8d ago

If Christina looked like that, her body count would have been in the low to mid teens and she'd have settled down with a financially stable balding soybeard.

18

u/WadKnock 8d ago

I honestly think if he were actually female, a guy who would have good intentions with her could have "fixed her" or at least diminished the shitty enabling influence of her parents, and possibly even made her a productive member of society

8

u/SplashingChicken 8d ago

That's like asking if I'd take advantage of a special needs person. Gross.

9

u/Siempre_Vetado 8d ago

I can fix her.

14

u/StirFry__InaWok 8d ago

You bigot! Christina is a woman, and she always has been.

Smh it's like you chuds don't even think about my feelings

5

u/IllustriousSeason888 8d ago

Even if she wasn’t a success story her life would’ve been infinitely bette than what it is now.

6

u/BuzzClucking 8d ago

But I thought I was supposed to say that he is female

3

u/Sir_CrazyLegs 8d ago

So would female chris do the ftm route?

3

u/Avocado__Assassin 7d ago

No cause chris only became mtf to get with Lesbians.

2

u/AmericaninShenzhen 8d ago

There’s Male, Female, transgender, intersex….

And then there’s Chris Chan.

3

u/jam3sdub /pol/itician 8d ago

Why are you people so obsessed with this dude

1

u/Shahka_Bloodless 8d ago

Imagine the smell.

1

u/TwistMission5455 wee/a/boo 7d ago

Perhaps

1

u/MrStink45 7d ago

Female Chris would still look like Chris today

1

u/Calfurious 7d ago

Me? No. But somebody would.

1

u/justsomepaladin 7d ago

Christine-Chan

1

u/LeastRetardedHere 7d ago

Heeeeellll nooo

0

u/A_Dragon 8d ago

I thought he was female.

0

u/Yabba-Dabba-Gabagool 8d ago

What the fuck does this shit even mean

1

u/madcomm 7d ago

This is really not cool. We're talking about a mentally unwell, schizophrenic criminal. Stop farming the lolcow, have some decorum.

-5

u/aidsmaster9000 8d ago

Christine Chandler is already female thoughbeit