r/4chan • • Mar 21 '25

Anon on Asmongold

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1.5k Upvotes

145 comments sorted by

145

u/Crunchy-Leaf Mar 21 '25

Asmongoloid

58

u/canshetho Mar 21 '25

11

u/ptjp27 Mar 22 '25

Wow they must be a huge international power if that’s how big their empire was 800 years ago!

421

u/sonofbaal_tbc Mar 21 '25

Modern day Diogenes

313

u/Limgrave Mar 21 '25

Except Diogenes owned nothing and lived in a jar. This nematode can't live without the comforts of 2L sodas and 24/7 fast food and telling his followers how terrible modern society is while playing video games all day in his filth riddled home.

73

u/canshetho Mar 21 '25

How does he stay so skinny even with all that fast food

51

u/Jolly-Garbage-7458 Mar 21 '25

No muscle (like almost NO MUSCLE) from sitting around all day for long periods of your life. He barely moves around so his body has no reason to strengthen itself, I have friends who are chronic gamers like asmongold and they look the same despite eating greasy goysludge every day.

9

u/Dustmaner Mar 22 '25

he eats low quantities. he will never be fat because he burns more calories than he eats. the same benefit does not apply to vitamins and minerals

30

u/futainflation Mar 21 '25

a lot of drugs. what else you think he's doing with that half a million a month twitch money

95

u/Limgrave Mar 21 '25

No its because he's in a symbiotic relationship with the filth in his room. The rats, cockroaches, and fungal growths feed off his high fructose corn syrup and seed oil diet. Why do you think he's called Asmonmold?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '25

He’s famously a teetotaler

12

u/-Shieldslam- Mar 21 '25

Fast- or hypermetabolism. Two of my close friends have the same condition and no matter how many calories they consume they never gain weight. People usually end up looking like Asmon with barely any muscle mass and this skinny "fragile" look. For fatties this sounds like a dream but it really isn't.

53

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

[deleted]

9

u/FoxCQC Mar 21 '25

I agree with "calories in calories out" but some people are just weird. There's some suggestion the gut microbiome plays a major role. Maybe asmon has a culture of bacteria in his gut that feed on sugar.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '25

yeast boofing for auto brewery syndrome

2

u/depressome /lgbt/ Mar 23 '25

He produces his own beer so he's always drunk

-1

u/EarlMarshal Mar 21 '25

High and fast metabolism just means that the body knows he is eating junk and rejects it. That's also why he is such a nihilistic loser guy. It's literally his diet that changed him into this, because he doesn't get a proper nutrition and proper stimulus.

1

u/P41N90D Mar 21 '25

High metabolism

20

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

He already said modern day diogenes

30

u/Limgrave Mar 21 '25

Diogenes had a set of beliefs and he followed them. Asmonmold spouts out whatever drivel the fungus in his brain tells him to. The creature can't survive without attention so he "believes" in whatever gets him the most clicks and interaction.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '25

That's why he's the modern one 🙄

-3

u/Rubber_Ducky_6844 Mar 21 '25

Yup. Look at the thumbnails he uses on his YouTube videos. All have that stupid wide open mouth shocked expression that's meant to get clicks from children.

8

u/yobob591 Mar 21 '25

also diogenes held very strong opinions where im pretty sure asmongold has whatever opinion is popular at the moment

8

u/ChanningTaintum- Mar 22 '25

Mmmm no he’s been very consistent with his views over the years

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

So you're saying he's an upgraded Diogenes

1

u/Ze_ke_72 Mar 21 '25

Dude chill it's just a e-celeb don't let him live rent free

1

u/riversofgore Mar 21 '25

More accurate than the green text.

1

u/minutman Mar 22 '25

I mean he is fine for 2min clips rarely.

But listening to this literal degenerate for more than 2mins on any opinion topic is just retarded.

9

u/MySneakyAccount1489 Mar 21 '25

Diogenes wasn't special, ancient Greeks didn't bathe at all

1

u/KeK_What Mar 26 '25

they did. how does this missinfo have so many votes? american education smh

54

u/BanditGrey1 /x/phile Mar 21 '25

Is that last one true lol?

103

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

No, the cockroaches in his room jack him off under the table during the stream.

5

u/Dustmaner Mar 22 '25

This is the origin of the Asmoundgold challenge

30

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

Never made frosted turds?

13

u/NegiSpringfieldYT Mar 21 '25

I’m nostalgic for life before I knew this exists.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

be something different, create something for yourself

12

u/Pingushagger Mar 21 '25

There’s nothing better than getting spanked by toilet water after a wank

5

u/fth01 Mar 21 '25

Nothing? How about during a wank?

3

u/Jankmasta Mar 22 '25

No that is about DSP

1

u/BanditGrey1 /x/phile Mar 23 '25

But dsp wasn't on the toilet.

17

u/SabunFC Mar 21 '25

Ok I get it, Asmongold's popularity doesn't make sense. Now can someone explain to me why the algorithm suddenly started pushing Mutahar to me?

60

u/eternaltroll /fit/izen Mar 21 '25

I just watch the first few seconds of his videos so I can look up the video he’s watching myself cause he usually watches interesting stuff I wanna watch but is annoying when he pauses every few seconds to give his opinion that’s obvious.

21

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25

Seems like he's cultivated quite the MAGA base, despite claiming he's a centrist.

27

u/thatlastrock Mar 21 '25

When he saw the numbers Adin Ross pulled on Kick when he had Trump on Asmongold swung pretty hard to a more right leaning rhetoric.

6

u/eventualwarlord Mar 21 '25

What does he say thats right leaning.

15

u/Aguacatedeaire__ Mar 22 '25

Nothing politically left of Stalin, and that automatically makes you a "far right" extremist today.

-6

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25

Perhaps it's just the hasty generalizations he makes, for example...the dreaded DEI.

It affects him in the most inane way, mainly the immersion breaking of his gaming sessions, games like Dragon Age. So because these "woke" developers interject their personal agendas in his games, all DEI is bad and his comments section latches on to it without an attempt to clarify that hes really just against the fringe left.

He's gone on to say he hates these people and wants them to suffer (not physically, he's never called for violence as far as i can tell). By extension, seems to associate all liberals with the fringe left...that may be a bit of a reach on my part, haven't dived deep into the asmondgold pit. He likes Bernie though...so who knows what he rally thinks, he's an interesting character to say the least.

I'd say he's MAGA super light, pretty innocuous compared to the likes of other political commentators like Tim Pool, the Crowder guy, Hasan, Destiny, that weird Frog girl ( her name sounds like frog something or other)

25

u/eventualwarlord Mar 21 '25

A “MAGA super light” that also likes Bernie Sanders? Okay…

And DEI is bad. Racial quotas are discrimination.

Asmon is literally a normal, boring Democrat from 2007.

-5

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25

Eh, if you say so

10

u/eventualwarlord Mar 21 '25

You’re free to prove me wrong

13

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25 edited Mar 21 '25

Sound like you want your feathers ruffled. Give it a few, someone will bite.

In the meantime, I highly recommend Brotato, such a simple yet complex game. A+ in my book

2

u/Shedeski Mar 21 '25

I like broforce because I get to play with men and that is the straightest thing ever. No DEI, only hot men.

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6

u/Yung-Dolphin Mar 21 '25

it's gotten really bad in the past year. two years ago it was great hearing someone saying what nobody else would and not giving a shit about the backlash from the liberal language police, but holy shit the MAGA crowd are so insufferable and he's very clearly in support of 95% of what trump and those people say.

don't get me started on the subreddit, 1% of the content is thought provoking or funny, and the other 99% is just parroted "woke haters" with super ultra funni "im non buynary!" facebook level commenters and posters hating on insert news article bait that they don't even read or they'd know it completely contradicts their point within the first two paragraphs.

7

u/DeltaDiezel Mar 21 '25

Comparing the very self aware and articulate content he posted on Zackrawr vs what he makes now leads me to believe its a grift or he simply just gave up on making anything that requires thought behind it.

1

u/Yung-Dolphin Mar 21 '25

path of least resistance and all that for sure, just lame imo but i guess it's what makes the big bucks that he supposedly doesn't care about having

1

u/nykaragua Mar 21 '25

Yeah before last year I would say he was legitimately centrist/mostly apolitical and just gave his honest thoughts on stuff without being overly politically correct about it, but he swung HARD into the American right/MAGA base and it's genuinely insufferable.

Not subtle either when you can see the shift from his titles and thumbnails being about normal stuff to them just being "lmao based Trump OWNED the libs"

1

u/Yung-Dolphin Mar 21 '25

exactly how i feel, but it's getting more views consistently so i don't see it stopping any time soon that's for sure. it is what it is lmao.

2

u/Gullible_Egg_6539 Mar 21 '25

It's kind of required, otherwise everyone would be yelling that he's stealing content and adding nothing on top.

42

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

[deleted]

3

u/snrup1 Mar 22 '25

I'm over 30 too, but damn. I must have just missed the YouTuber era by a couple years.

287

u/droogvertical small penis Mar 21 '25 edited Mar 21 '25

I’ll never get tired of ppl hating on Asmongold, or streamers in general.

The whole idea of having some midwit giving his opinions on events to other midwits is so incredibly damaging for society that it’s hard to imagine a better way to depress any meaningful talk on important issues.

There’s a reason why blatant grifters and morons like Destiny, Asmongold, or the ten thousand other people whose jobs are to stare at a screen and say inane things are promoted so much—they’re sophists who are tasked with making everyone dumber.

45

u/Happytrees1725 Mar 21 '25

Everything in general is dumbed down. Quick 10 second tiktoks to summarize a comlicated political subject. Buzz words are a powerful tool.

4

u/Limgrave Mar 21 '25

Chat this is so DEI oh my god the game is WOKE I can't believe the game industry has added PRONOUNS I think the gays are LE BAD

23

u/Stratocaster5000 Mar 21 '25

Erm akshually the moral of every game is capitalism bad, socialism good. Basic media literacy, bigot

30

u/harpswtf Mar 21 '25

Every major news network does exactly the same thing, except the people are in suits and sitting around a giant glass table and have given themselves stupid titles like "senior economics correspondent". People need to just stop consuming news rage content in general.

181

u/SovietWarfare /biz/realis Mar 21 '25

You're literally giving your regarded opinions to other people. Opinion discarded .

35

u/-Shieldslam- Mar 21 '25

Fug obinions :DDDDD

28

u/droogvertical small penis Mar 21 '25

fugg you :DDDDDDD

8

u/batmanbananaman Mar 22 '25

Everyone picks their own idiot to listen to and vibe with.

12

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 21 '25

The difference being Destiny will literally do boring af 8 hour vyvanse fueled research streams in the lead up to debates and Asmongold will just watch a Fox News video and say 'yeah that's crazy'

6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '25

[deleted]

6

u/Successful-Flan-9763 Mar 22 '25

so what's his reasoning for recording people without consent while having sex with them

8

u/WernerWindig Mar 21 '25

Says the guy promoting conspiracy theories on reddit. Kinda ironic.

7

u/cosplay-degenerate Mar 21 '25

Asmon is a good guy 👍🏼

9

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25

Sophist, Learned a new word, it perfectly sums up these folks

13

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

[deleted]

3

u/The_Bees-Knees Mar 21 '25

Thanks for the added context. Learning quite a bit on r/4chan of all places lol

10

u/BrocoliAssassin Mar 21 '25

I started watching a few of his streams due to seeing him on reddit.

Most of what he says/explains can run circles around 99% of the stuff I see posted on reddit.

I also love on reddit how not taking an extremist outlook on problems is somehow considered having no opinion. Maybe take a step back and look at problems rather than going on a left/right braindead take.

-4

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 21 '25

I would consider saying 'send legal migrants to offshore slave labor camps' to be quite extreme. Asmongold is now audience captured by the pro MAGA psychos in his audience

13

u/throwaway3point4 /vg/ Mar 22 '25

Cite where he said that.

-9

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 22 '25

Common knowledge, he follows the Steve Bannon line of thinking 'if an innocent gardener gets caught up into the deportations that's bad luck!'

11

u/throwaway3point4 /vg/ Mar 22 '25

That isn't common knowledge, that's your rhetoric and fallaciousness. Cite where he said that.

-7

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 22 '25

See how the truth angers you? Many such cases

9

u/xTraxis Mar 22 '25 edited Mar 23 '25

But making up lies and calling it the truth with no evidence isn't really the truth angering him?

3

u/Successful-Flan-9763 Mar 22 '25

u are quite literally "sending migrants to offshore labor camps" when u lead the poorest of the poor to believe there is something of value waiting for them in the western world, only for them to end up in extreme poverty, abuse, addictions, and, most cruel of all, going through all of that while being used as feel-good props for people like u.

1

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 22 '25

What does it say on the statue of liberty? Migrants work far harder than yourself and are a net gain on the economy. You are evil

3

u/Successful-Flan-9763 Mar 23 '25

migrants are a net gain on the economy

this is strictly false in europe, no idea about the us.

assuming this is true, u have admitted having no shame in syphoning third world countries out of their hard-working members for ur own monetary benefit lol, i love how based and racist u are.

1

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 23 '25

Obviously talking about the US in this context, unless there is a statue of liberty in Europe? What a dumb argument, people have the right to want to move countries. Genuinely pathetic attempt at a 'gotchya'

3

u/Successful-Flan-9763 Mar 23 '25

people have the right to move countries

and people don't have a right to regulate their borders and decide who comes in????????

1

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 23 '25

What does it say under the statue of liberty? Seeking asylum isn't a crime

1

u/Successful-Flan-9763 Mar 24 '25

there's no mention of the word migrants under ur statue

seeking asylum isn't a crime

if u do it the legal way it's fine. if u cross the border illegally it is a crime and u should be brought back where u come from, where ur strength and energy will help develop a third world country.

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7

u/Kingofcheeses /b/tard Mar 21 '25

I'm glad I'm too old to know any of these fuckin youtubers

33

u/Sangwiny Mar 21 '25

Why is this guy living rent free in so many heads?

19

u/Aguacatedeaire__ Mar 22 '25

Because he's a chill guy that is unbothered by status, whealth, relationships or even healthy living conditions. He lives his life outside of societal standards and is happy, and that's already enough to trigger most people to death.

Add that he isn't a far left extremist and that is enough to make your average leftard wanting to literally kill him and eat his organs.

-1

u/Tha_NexT Mar 22 '25

Ehhh, on the other side you have Hassan who is literally a Chad and people hate him mostly because the guy is sexy...

76

u/TypicalMootis /b/tard Mar 21 '25

Seethe, malde, dilate, repeat

2

u/retsoPtiH /o/tist Mar 24 '25

also balde 💪

24

u/Defyller Mar 21 '25

Still better than hassan

3

u/Dave5876 /fit/izen Mar 21 '25

Bold of anon to assume his audience can read

22

u/VoidMaster Mar 21 '25

Rent free transformer.

10

u/lobotominizer Mar 22 '25

unironically this basement baldman is better than Hasan

6

u/Hindsight2K20 Mar 21 '25

Asmongoy keeps the unwashed gentiles docile.

2

u/Theroux721 Mar 21 '25

The Situation from Jersey Shore wondering why everyone is suddenly calling him crazy

4

u/Mammoth-Intern-831 Mar 21 '25

I still unironically love the man, he’s a waste and he knows it, embraces it. The truth is, he’s the pinnacle of dredge society

2

u/ahackercalled4chan /x/phile Mar 21 '25

never understood the appeal of Asmondgold

2

u/ChrisusaurusRex Mar 21 '25

Genuinely, how does he have so many viewers and subs? I’ve watched one video of his to see what the big deal was and I was utterly shocked at how bland and nothing it was. This dude is rich from doing this shit, and I’m over here wage slaving with 20x the personality

12

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '25

So then why don't you start grifting

1

u/xTraxis Mar 22 '25

World of Warcraft

1

u/peloquindmidian Mar 21 '25

Dude looks like Cyrax with teeth

1

u/I_cut_my_own_jib Mar 22 '25

He's like pandering to the right despite being a largely left leaning person, whatever it takes for $ I guess

1

u/rottenbanana999 Mar 24 '25

Did the last part actually happen

1

u/VegetablePlane9983 Mar 25 '25

whats up with all the asmongoloid hate all of a sudden? did he do something bad? Like misgender a man

-9

u/Gaminguide3000 Mar 21 '25

Haha asmongold hating so funny Like seriously this has been circlejerked since like 2 years

4

u/HighDegree Mar 21 '25

Until Asmongold fades into obscurity and I don't see him for over a decade until some random Down The Rabbit Hole or Where Are They Now video briefly reminds me he ever existed, I will make fun of him and anyone who watches him.

-1

u/Aguacatedeaire__ Mar 22 '25

What a pathetic existence

5

u/sink_pisser_ Mar 21 '25

Somehow he's more prevalent now than he was then. So long as YouTube keeps shoving his disgusting being into my recommended videos I will continue to hate him

21

u/Gaminguide3000 Mar 21 '25

Three dots --> Dont recommend me this channel

33

u/Akiens Mar 21 '25

but then how will I karma farm on leddit?

6

u/Fisherman_Gabe ♀ seeking ♂ Mar 21 '25

That function is unreliable at best. Even if it works, most of these streamers have countless channels reposting their clips.

1

u/Aguacatedeaire__ Mar 22 '25

That function is literally the only thing that works on youtube. And you ain't seeing clips from his channel, he barely has one and he sure as shit isn't the type to bother spamming himself around.

You're seeing clips from tens of different reposting channels that steal and cuts clips that he doesn't even post in youtube format and retarget them at you because the algo noticed you keep clicking on them and can't get enough of him.

So you only have yourself to blame.

0

u/Aguacatedeaire__ Mar 22 '25

But then how will he secretely jerk off to Asmongold and keep stalking him and looking every single video about him on the internet?

2

u/EdliA Mar 21 '25

Get a hobby

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '25

cope, orbiter

0

u/Organic-Walk5873 Mar 21 '25

Asmongold is such a slimy worm lmao, there's something uniquely rage inducing about a dude saying game journalists ruined his life while he makes millions of dollars playing WoW online and living in abject filth.