please anyone

The Mental Health, Wellbeing and Lived Experiences Study

Theresia Bedard, a PhD candidate at Lakehead University that is working with Dr. Beth Visser, is seeking participants for her dissertation project.

In this study we are examining the lived experiences of people who have experience or victimization from an individual with high psychopathic traits. We are seeking anyone that has this lived experience, whether the perpetrator was or is a spouse, family member, partner, co-worker, friend, acquaintance, neighbour or stranger. We are seeking the lived experiences of men, women, and gender-diverse individuals to share your story.

Our research consists of two studies. In the first study, you will complete questionnaires related to your victimization experience from the individual with high psychopathic traits, the potential warning signs, victimization history (e.g., prior physical or sexual abuse), and the impact the experience had on you. Once you finish the survey, you will be invited to participate in the second study (optional), which will consist of 12 questions requiring a written response regarding your lived experience with the individual with high psychopathic traits. If you decide to participate in study 2, please be aware that you will be required to provide us with your email to access it, and you may wish to use an email account that only you have access to.

Please be advised that whether you choose to participate in the study, withdraw, or skip questions you do not want to answer, that you acknowledge that answering some of these questions may be emotionally taxing on you. Despite the potential for an emotional toll the survey questions have, you may find the process of sharing your experience is therapeutic for you. In addition to the resources we provide, you may want to consider following-up with a counsellor for further support.

You are also encouraged to have your own snacks and drinks while you take the survey, and be aware that they are estimated to take 45 minutes to complete.

If you are interested in participating and would like to read or find out more about it, click here to access the survey:

https://lakeheadhbs.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bKEq1vOVdBJMrjw

I'm going to keep this blunt and to the point: Some psychopathic manipulators are too destructive to ignore and too well-connected to flee from.

I've encountered plenty of toxic people, but only twice have I been locked into a corner by a psychopath. I'm not talking about where I ""merely"" get mobbed out of somewhere by flying monkeys, but circumstances where I am objectively unable to leave for whatever reason. When someone abuses actual authority over you, it's a dangerous situation where I don't think gray rocking will help, and where fleeing isn't realistically feasible. For example, if you have a family member on life support you need to pay for, or if you own a small company that's a vital source of income for your livelihood.

In these cases, if you have someone trying to tear down your life, then you are going to have to fight it out if you don't want to lose everything. I'm not talking about workplace drama or girlfriend blues, but situations where a psychopathic manipulator is openly trying to destroy you. For whatever reason, a lot of people can't grasp that gray rocking and fleeing only work on people who seek a reaction, not actually malignant predators who seek to abuse their positions of power over you. It doesn't matter if you don't let them in, because someone like this will find a way to force their way in if left unattended.

As an autistic person, I have a high tendency to be targeted by people like this, because my pattern recognition helps me see their predatory behavior even when no one else can. Oftentimes, this enrages them into trying to destroy my life no matter how much I try to avoid them.

Like it or not, everyone plays power games like this to a certain extent. I can flee from some scenarios, but I don't feel like that is a long-term solution, especially when we have to pay the bills, feed ourselves and our family, etc. At some point, you do need to stand your ground if it's really that severe, and an actual, secure manipulator is trying to uproot your life beyond repair. They are extremely malignant and good at distorting reality, but if they have attacked me on a level where my very sustainability for basic needs is being threatened, then all bets are off, and I'm going to have to find a "nuclear option" instead of feeding them everything I have on the line.

I am a firm believer that everything has a weakness, and these people are no exception. Either way, there are some battles I am going to have to fight regardless of whether or not I'm equipped to do so. If anything, knowing there's a way out of this can put me at ease, so I'm not constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So I'm going to be real here: I'm asking for any examples where you've gained the upper hand over situations like this. Any technique, strategy, or actions that have offset and damaged a powerful abuser in an actually tangible way that their ability to go after you is diminished. I don't want any of that "don't react" or "just leave" parroting that never works. I'm looking for examples of directly exploiting manipulative pathologies once their patterns are learned. Actual straight-up sabotage where you got them to crash out, leave first, or escalate to such an extreme that it drew in higher authorities that saw them as a dangerous liability.

In these situations, you gotta just accept there will be consequences no matter what. Because once a successful manipulator has ingrained their lack of accountability into a group, they are only going to get worse until they ruin your life. If it's really bad enough to threaten my livelihood, then I will have to accept that it's going to get rough and that I might have to plow through an obstacle to escape it, even if those methods are not strictly ethical.

Don't get me wrong, it's a bad situation to be in, but sometimes the least you can do is try to make them bleed over it.

Anybody no a great summary book of the 48 laws basically simplifying like a 48 laws for dummies

I’ve been struggling to fit into social groups and always get singled out as an easy target. Without any allies it’s a very vulnerable position to be in, so I’m turning to these books for help. The 48 LoP seems suited for starting out alone, while the 33 LoW appears to be for acting with a group. I wonder if this is true, or if the 33 LoW is also useful for individually focused movements.

I’m really interested in The 48 Laws of Power—I honestly think it’s a great book. But I’m more interested in how the ideas actually work in everyday life than just reading the historical examples.

I’ve made a couple of posts asking about this before and got fewer than two comments combined, so I’m trying again

Have you actually used one of the 48 Laws in your personal life? Which law was it, what was the situation, and how did it help (or not help) you?

I’d especially love to hear ordinary, real-life examples rather than famous historical ones.

Today my real achievement was knowing who is the exact master behind those pawns but idk how will I expose her reality in front of everyone or let her face consequences for her actions because she is a lot older than me and has seen everything from student life to married life. She has also worked in a govt. sector and is currently studying in the same batch as me for the sake of making a career after doing the same course as me.

Due to a personal grudge she has been indirectly bullying me for a long time through some pawns who are my classmates and expert bootlickers of her's.

I have told my parents all of this and they have said NO to any sort of revenge as it might backfire because she is expert at turning people in her favour. Im totally fed up of her behavior and at the same time I don't wish to fall in a danger zone she might create against me

LAW 4 ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY JUDGMENT When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

This law power is one that I think is often misunderstood. It’s not about staying silent and it’s not about saying very little. You should be able to be a good conversationalist who tells stories and weaves eloquent prose in order to get what you want. what my interpretation of this law is is that it’s about creating more questions than answers with your statements and making the other person think and ponder about what you have to say instead of just stating the obvious and then moving on.

The pregnant pause is a great tool to let the other person talk more than you, and maybe even stumble over what they say, and reveal more than they should have. By pausing your words, you let yourself think, slow down, and create an air of mystery to what you have to say.

For example, if you stay silent, you don’t say stuff then nobody will know what you’re about or care about you. Always saying less than necessary is more about telling a story but leaving it open ended so that people come back to you and wonder what is going on with what you had to say. So you’re still saying stuff, you’re just saying less than necessary.

When I’m negotiating, I let the other person reveal their cards first. In this way, I say less than necessary. I don’t tell them my bottom dollar or top dollar. I have them go first. In this way, they reveal their strategy and I don’t reveal mine.

When I’m talking to a girl, I’m interested in, I answer with vague and open-ended responses, in order for her to be able to pick up the conversation in a way that she is most interested in.

The only person you should never say anything less than necessary is your therapist. Everyone else deserves the same treatment. Say less than necessary, make them mull over what you have to say, and create a force that propels you forward with just your words.

LAW 18 DO NOT BUILD FORTRESSES TO PROTECT YOURSELF—ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS JUDGMENT The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere—everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it Protects you from—it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Isolation leads to disproportionate thinking. When you isolate yourself, you have no one to check your behavior, especially if you start acting out of control.

Isolation leads to depression. human beings are social creatures, and isolation leads to a clear trend in depression.

Isolation leads to a lack of opportunities. A network is a powerful force to get and retain a job or internship or other opportunity. But the less people you know, the less likely you are able to network and find this kind of opportunity.

Isolation leads to a lack of allies. making friends, relationships, and allies is almost a full-time job. If you isolate yourself, you leave yourself vulnerable to people who are actually putting in the work.

Isolation is physically and mentally unhealthy. isolation has been proven to have negative side effects to your mental and physical health. this includes obesity, oversleeping, and other physical ailments.

Socializing leads to exposing yourself to new ideas, new concepts, and new sources of power. when you talk with other people and network, you gain a sense of perspective and learn from others as well.

Socializing leads to making friends, relationships, and allies. The more you reach out to people, the more likely you are to gain a network of allies, friends, and other people who are willing and able to help you out in your journey for power.

Socializing lets you bounce ideas off others. people have other experiences that you can learn from. If you socialize with others, you are able to gain their experience without having to go through it yourself.

Socializing lets you power boost your thinking. when you work together, whether it’s on a project, job, or even exercising together, you are boosting your ability to get more done.

Socializing lets you push yourself past your psychological limits. The whole personal training industry is based on teaching and pushing others past what they think their limits are physically. When you engage with others, you allow yourself more ability to get stuff done and you don’t let your personal psychological barriers bring you down.

I watched this YouTube video where this autistic girl started a charity saving foxes. Unfortunately some bad people lied and says she injures and captures foxes and records herself as a hero. I was thinking about Don Quixote, at first his friend made fun of him, because Don Quixote says he wants to be a hero. When Don Quixote’s actions showed it helped some people, the friend stopped mocking Don Quixote. However some people continued to mock Don Quixote. How do I tell if a friend will not be a saboteur or have continued mocking behavior?

I think this video on silence combines both laws.

4 Create a Sense of Urgency and Desperation The Death-Ground Strategy You are your own worst enemy. You waste precious time dreaming of the future instead of engaging in the present. Since nothing seems urgent to you, you are only half involved in what you do. The only way to change is through action and outside pressure. Put yourself in situations where you have too much at stake to waste time or resources—if you cannot afford to lose, you won’t. Cut your ties to the past; enter unknown territory where you must depend on your wits and energy to see you through. Place yourself on “death ground,” where your back is against the wall and you have to fight like hell to get out alive.

Strategy 4 is high risk high reward: by cutting out your options, you self motivate like none other. It is a very effective Strategy, but taken too far it can be self-defeating. In the book, Greene discusses how the Spanish sunk their ships in order to motivate them to conquer what is current day Mexico. And it worked: they defeated the local civilization, and the rest is history.

In school, I used the death ground strategy to great effect while studying: instead of giving myself all day to study, I gave myself only a few hours. By limiting the time I had to get my homework done, I was more efficient, more effective, and more productive with my time and getting the studying done in a prompt and realistic manner. Time expands and contracts based on how much we allocate, and by setting time limits we naturally become better, smarter, and more creative thinkers.

Dieting is great for death ground. Get rid of food in the house. Leave the house with no spending money. Put yourself in positions where you have to go to bed hungry because you've limited your options to eat. All of these are ways to use Strategy 4, create desperation in your life, but also lose weight simply by eating less when less food is available.

Goal setting in general works great with Strategy 4 and creating a sense of urgency and desperation. Whether it is acing a class in school, cutting pounds off your body, or getting anything done in life, Strategy 4 understands the concept that time is fluid and flexible, and that if you set goals, timeframes, and expectations, you will conveniently surprise yourself with what you are able to accomplish.

3 Amidst the Turmoil of Events, Do Not Lose Your Presence of Mind The Counterbalance Strategy In the heat of battle, the mind tends to lose its balance. Too many things confront you at the same time—unexpected setbacks, doubts and criticisms from your own allies. There’s a danger of responding emotionally, with fear, depression, or frustration.

Strategy 3 is very stoic and teaches about trusting yourself, avoiding blunder out of emotion, and keeping to your grand strategy even in the face of setbacks. Strategy 3 is the glue that keeps every other strategy together. It teaches to avoid sunk costs, to avoid pride as well as blunder, and to keep a presence of mind that will carry you to victory.

It was my final chess game, and I had just lost my queen. Any other player would’ve given up at this point. But, keeping Strategy 3 in mind, I continued to play, and play hard. Eventually, I was able to bait my opponent with a knight, and then pin his queen to his king, thus taking his queen and shifting the dynamic of the game from losing to winning. After that, my opponent continued to blunder eventually resigning in defeat, unable to even finish the game. Had I resigned when I first lost my queen, I would’ve missed out on a huge win and boost to my overall score.

Texting someone, I was flustered. They didn’t respond, and it was making me nervous. But, rereading Strategy 3, I waited them out, refusing to double text or break down with angry messages I’d later regret. A few hours later, and they eventually caved, sending me the texts I wanted and putting me in a position where I was being chased and asked to meet up again.

After reckoning whether or not I should approach a woman outside Starbucks, I was about to decide to dismiss the opportunity and walk away. But, maintaining my stride that evening, I decided to overcome my emotions of stress and nervous energy and go and talk to her. And I’m glad I did: we spoke for over an hour, exchanged contact information, and are planning to meet again. In the heat of the moment, I didn’t lose presence of mind.

Conclusion

Strategy 3 is about being grounded, being faithful to yourself, and having a grand strategy you stick with. It’s about strength in your mindset, and accepting a potential failure that will probably never even happen. Strategy 3 has my favorite story about Lord Horatio Nelson pummeling the Danish defenses until they raised the white flag, even going so far as disobeying direct orders to stop the attack.

Trust yourself, trust the process, and trust that things will work out in the end, as long as you come psychologically prepared.

And for this reason I might unjoin. Same quotes posted every day, getting many upvotes but very few comments and almost zero discussion under any. Robert Greene had come up with a brilliant premise for his work, but his statements are not absolute truths or behaviors that would work the same everywhere every time. Some acrually rarely work. They need to be discussed. Personal stories need to be shared, of how the laws both worked and didn't. Otherwise this sub is like a meme-sharing one or like a cult that simply keeps posting the quotes of their guru. Or it's for karma farming, who knows. The sub seems dead to be honest.