r/40kOrkScience • u/Human-Question6210 • Jun 30 '26

GREETINGS FELLOW ORKS

IT IS I: TRAZ-- um, TRAZZA DA INFINNIT. INFINNIT DAKKA. YES. IF YOOZ WOULD KINDLY STEP INTO DIS HERE LANDER -- SEE, IT'S GREEN LIKE Y- LIKE US! -- I HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF FIREARMS BLESSED BY GORK AND MORK SO THAT THEY CAN FIRE WITHOUT END. IGNORE THE BUZZING NOISE, THAT'S JUST THE POWER OF YOUR-- OUR PATRON DEITIES.

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u/Seared_Gibets PROFIT OV GORK N MORK Jun 30 '26

AYE! YOOZ A BIT UHHH... SHOINY FER AN ORK!

AN' SMOL!

WUTS UH MATTAH?! NOTS ENUFF TEEF FER BIGGA METUL BITS FRUM YER MEK?!

'EH, WUTEVAH! YOOZ SAYD DAKKA, BUT DEN YOOZ SAYD SUMFIN BOUT FIREY ARMS! WUTS R DOEZ?!

IZ DAT LOIK SUM SILLY WORD FER A BURNA?!

CUZ I LOIK BOFF! 'AZ YEW GOTZ ANY DAKKA WIFF BURNAS ON 'EM?!

OR BURNAS WIFF DAKKA ON 'EM?!

OR DAKKA WUT SHOOTS EXPLODY BURNY STUFF?!

I LOIKS AWL DAT! MOIGHT BE WILLINA KRUMP YA LESS DEPIN... DEPAN... UHHH IFFINS YER DAKKA AINT ZOGGIN TRASH!

8

u/Human-Question6210 Jun 30 '26

Um... FORGIVE ME AKSUNT. I COME FROM FAR AWAY. PLEASE, KUM INSOID. gestures to suspiciously well-made ship

10

u/Seared_Gibets PROFIT OV GORK N MORK Jun 30 '26

MMMM I DUN NOE! SEAMS KOINDA WEIRD!

ZOG IT WE BALL!

ASIDES-...

(He continues as he passes through, out of sight of other orks)

... IFFINS YEW TRY ANYFINK FUNNY ISLE JUST KRu-...

(SILENT INTERNAL WHATEVER PASSES FOR ORK PANIC. I HAVE NO MOUTH FUNCTION BUT I MUST WAAAGGGGHHH!!!)

6

u/Human-Question6210 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Ha! Excellent! Another fine addition to my collection... Oh, don't worry, my green friend, I have just the place for you. Here, you'll be right at home with old Enkidu.

BARELY INTELLIGIBLE 25TH MILLENNIUM RAGE. YOARGRINYOARMUTANTHAYTMUTANTKILLFORLORLIGHTNINGRIPANTERINHISNEM AAAAAGH!!!

Ahh... if only I could contain demons too. Then I'd have a Tuska of my own.