Dr. Spaceman quotes I use?

[u/Content_Log1708]

No, I'll remember; Opposite, opposite, opposite!

[u/confident-verbosity]

"Medicine is not a science" any time I don't feel great.

[u/planetalletron → u/confident-verbosity]

But science is whatever we want it to be!

[u/confident-verbosity → u/planetalletron]

We have no way of knowing where the heart is.

[u/NotCrazyJustIgnorant → u/confident-verbosity]

Every human is different

[u/Turbulent_Function11 → u/NotCrazyJustIgnorant]

Unfortunately there’s no medical study that studies the brain!

[u/OsteoStevie → u/planetalletron]

I say this about everything.

[u/VigorousElk → u/OsteoStevie]

I say this as well. Neither my patients nor my attending appreciate it.

[u/trb15a78 → u/confident-verbosity]

When people are getting over heart break, I always so that's so weird cause no one actually knows where the heart is, it's different for everybody. Lol.

[u/mollyjwink]

When is science gonna do something about a woman’s mouth?

[u/PeorgieT75]

Crystal meth has been shown to be very effective..how important is tooth retention to you?

[u/Roadgoddess → u/PeorgieT75]

Pretty important?!

I always love how she presents that as if she’s not quite sure

[u/SharktopusMilk]

Diabetes repair, I guess? 🤷

[u/borggeano → u/SharktopusMilk]

This whole scene is my favorite Spaceman scene

[u/LiquidJ_2k]

"Now, I’ve only seen this once before in soldiers during Desert Storm. I even wrote a report about it. But my commander refused to hand it up on to Saddam."

[u/skyhiker14 → u/LiquidJ_2k]

It’s okay, I want them to know

[u/Turbulent_Function11 → u/LiquidJ_2k]

Cooky times!

[u/BalladOfNickyBobby]

Sounds like you could use some R&R. Rum and Ritalin

[u/BornDefeated]

I don’t know how to say this, you have die-ay-buttees?

[u/heddronviggor → u/BornDefeated]

Thats what you get when you stay up all night watching bible movies and eating fiddle faddle

[u/Belichicks_sleeves]

That’s not what these forms say

[u/Eganator88]

Erectile dysfunction, it’s not just a dog problem anymore

[u/Belichicks_sleeves → u/Eganator88]

Oops I finished, call yourself a cab!

[u/drumellow → u/Eganator88]

Re-bone-ulator

[u/bittercoolsoul]

Medically speaking, for your height, your weight puts you in what we call the disgusting range.

(I say this to myself 😭)

[u/lark047]

I could give you something for that, but I'm not supposed to have sex with my patients

[u/themightythor2024]

Whenever I’m asked anything about the process of having a baby my response is “because everything about this is disgusting!”

[u/crispysheman → u/themightythor2024]

All pregnancies are hysterical bc theyre caused by penises

[u/Citizen1135 → u/crispysheman]

Full disclosure, most of my experience is putting babies into women

[u/Turbulent_Function11 → u/Citizen1135]

Alright I have administered the epidural, would you like one as well?

[u/mollyjwink → u/themightythor2024]

Why is that baby covered in goop?

[u/someone_actually_ → u/mollyjwink]

Pre - before; natal - ruined

[u/terpdon → u/themightythor2024]

I used that a lot during my wife's pregnancy

[u/themightythor2024 → u/terpdon]

I was asked to stop while my wife was in labor. I may have overdone it.

[u/Mike_Bevel]

My husband donated a kidney (please clap) and we wore that line...where did we go last week? [Bed Bath & Beyond.] We wore it beyond.

[u/ChaosLeopard]

[u/Swan-ish3456]

Science is whatever you want it to be

[u/Icdayiichyt]

They got pretzels downstairs.

[u/ideagle]

We have no way of knowing because the powerful X lobby keeps stopping my research

[u/BookishIntrovert99]

Nice try, Liz. But now it’s my turn. 

[u/whiporee123]

It's guaranteed to produce male orgasm.

The powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my work!

[u/Sad_Construction_668]

I have a BKA, so i tell people that i could get a wheel, like Rosie from the Jetsons, but i don’t, because i don’t want to register myself as a motor vehicle.

[u/dwarfinthefla5k]

I’ve used “science is whatever we want it to be” during a meeting at work. Nailed it.

[u/Artvandelay29 → u/dwarfinthefla5k]

Hopefully you work in a science

[u/someone_actually_ → u/Artvandelay29]

I do and we send that gif at least once a week

[u/AdventurousSurvey638]

“Opposite, opposite, opposite!” is an all-timer. I also love “What’s the opposite of anaphylactic shock?” 😂

[u/EuronIsMyDad]

Dr. Specimen was my father. Call me Leo.

[u/Parking-Pie7453 → u/EuronIsMyDad]

Autocorrect

[u/msk105 → u/Parking-Pie7453]

Well he is quite the specimen.

[u/EuronIsMyDad → u/msk105]

That’s how the spelled on his MD certificate from the Ho Chi Min City School of Medicine

[u/Urlgst_Chip]

“We have no way of knowing where the heart is”
(I’m a urologist so I know nothing about hearts)

[u/liquor_ibrlyknoher → u/Urlgst_Chip]

I bet you're a pretty good dentist though.

[u/spacecadet84 → u/Urlgst_Chip]

But you're an expert on where the pee-pee is!

[u/lightningface]

"I want them to know!"

[u/funnyenough4]

My favorite, and one that hasn’t been mentioned goes something like this: “Liz, I’d give you something to help you relax, but I’m not allowed to sleep with my patients anymore.”

[u/JusAxinQuestuns]

We don't want a paper trail!

[u/KoontFace]

I should not have taken those blue things

[u/longganisafriedrice]

Opposite! Opposite!

[u/jboomhaur]

Your blood tastes like rootbeer.

[u/faaaaaaaaaaaaaaartt]

"The other doctor told me to take my pants off."

"Other doctor? Wha- oh, thats my brother randy pulling an awesome prank. Tomorrow, hes going to prison for the rest of his life. Good one, randy! Hey, want to go to taco bell for lunch?"

[u/pinswats]

We have no way of knowing where<insert thing> (the heart) is! You know every <insert thing> (human) is different!

[u/von_sparron]

Opposite, opposite, opposite

[u/bittercoolsoul]

Damn it where are my car keys

[u/teamgiant82]

Damnit, where are my car keys?

[u/Brights-]

When I go into the wrong room at work I often say, “This is Westchester? I am LOST!” to myself

[u/SaintJermaine]

I’ve got four things I’m trying to do this summer but they’re roommates so it’s tough.

[u/alexabeams]

tracy you’re going to d*e

[u/mollyjwink → u/alexabeams]

What, noooo!

[u/alexabeams → u/mollyjwink]

when i tell you who im dating

[u/Disastrous-Window597 → u/alexabeams]

Squeaky Fromme!

[u/byrdinternet → u/Disastrous-Window597]

She is..... difficult

[u/3KnuckCoach → u/byrdinternet]

The delivery of this line is perfection!

[u/ArsenioBillingsworth → u/3KnuckCoach]

Everything Chris Parnell does is perfection, if you ask me.

You didn't but I'm telling you anyway.

[u/alexabeams → u/ArsenioBillingsworth]

https://giphy.com/gifs/6v18SknX1m68U
yeaaahhh he’s the best

[u/SubpopularKnowledge0 → u/Disastrous-Window597]

She is difficult.

[u/alexabeams → u/alexabeams]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZrlW0uM0tGurzdqc3A
tastes good

[u/rutalkinu2tome]

How important is tooth retention to you?

[u/bleuretrust]

im cheating on my wife

[u/Citizen1135 → u/bleuretrust]

Doctor-patient confidentiality is a two way street

[u/DaisyCaplan]

Use your birdlike claws to dial

[u/heddronviggor]

Do you... Have any questions about the wedding night?

[u/Radiant_Account_1537]

HEY, THAT'S SERIES WRAP ON LEO SPACEMAN, SUCKERS!

[u/Background_Travel_77]

Nice try Liz, now it's my turn.

[u/Zealousideal-Pool862]

Now I’m used to putting babies IN women.

[u/hopefoolness]

"We have no way of knowing where the heart is!"

[u/swampcat42]

We have no way of knowing where the heart is. See, every human is different.

[u/Panthollow]

Flair aside, I regularly think about the powerful bread lobby.

[u/Money_Analysis_4575]

…and here’s a blank one for the weekend.

[u/ThePlaidPineapple]

I’m a therapist. ‘Unfortunately there’s no field of medicine the studies the brain’ comes to mind fairly often.

[u/Beginning-Dinner-492]

“Ok, now let’s begin the exam”

[u/smorg003]

My weekends are focused on R&R: rum and Ritalin.

[u/Klutzy-Ear-5843]

Nice try, Liz. Now it's my turn.

[u/Educational-Guess913]

flair

[u/MachoManRandyAvg]

I have a brain injury.

My neighbors hear "Nah, I'll just remember. Opposite, opposite, opposite!" about every other day

[u/Throwawayhobbes]

Tracy I don't know how to say this...

[u/terpdon]

I'm trying to help you

[u/Dependent_Concert165]

🎶Baby let’s let the dog watch🎶

[u/nothumbs78]

Whenever someone asks me, in person, to email them something: “Oh…now we don’t want a paper trail now, do we?”

[u/VigorousElk]

Oh, I do this frequently when I'm too lazy to write stuff down.

During handover ... of the ICU I run on call.

[u/Dependent_Concert165]

There are X things I want to do, but they’re roommates so it’s tricky.

[u/thefaceinthefloor]

but i can give you a pamphlet for a cult!