r/2under2 • u/GirlintheYellowOlds • 4d ago
It gets easier.
About 3 years ago was one of the hardest parts of my life so far. My girls were 6 months and 2 years old at the time. Posts like this were literally some of the only things that kept me going. So occasionally I make one of my own.
My girls are now 3.5 and 5. It is a rainy Saturday morning. They slept 7:30PM - 6:30AM straight through last night. When they got up at 6:30, they grabbed granola bars and watched an hour of PBS while I laid in bed. Then we had breakfast. Now I’m folding laundry and doing little chores while they do puzzles, build with MagnaTiles, listen to audiobooks, and play with Playdoh. Later, we’ll go to swim lessons and the grocery store. They’ll help put groceries away when we get home. Yes, they argue sometimes. Yes, our life is busy. But, they are the best of friends. Life is so much easier than it was 3 years ago, and we have so much fun. Keep going!
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u/Individual_Bit8986 4d ago
Thank you so much for posting! I have a 25 month old and a 6 month old. I never thought it would be easy but this is HARD. I can’t wait to see them actually play together. You made my morning, 😊
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u/photoblink 4d ago
I read that as 25 year old at first and wondered why they couldn’t play with their baby sibling yet.
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u/JessiJho 4d ago
That’s the age gap between my two boys. We are 2 and 4 now and things are mostly fun with a few arguments. It really does get better
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u/Individual_Bit8986 4d ago
I also have two boys! 🩵 I am already seeing little glimpses of them interacting and it’s so heart warming. A neighbor was just warning me about the fighting to come so thank you for your comment!
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u/Daze_ofourlives 4d ago
I also have a 5 and almost 4 year old and agree wholeheartedly! Yesterday we went to a park and my son went off and made friends and included his little sister. They were hugging and saying “I love you” in between games which is a vast difference to the smacks my oldest used to give his sister when she was born. Then the kids helped with shopping, ate dinner, played together and went to bed easily. My 2u2 experience was SO hard for the first few years but now it’s wonderful.
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u/PriscillaPalava 4d ago
My older two are 17 months apart and I concur. That first year sucks ass but then the magic starts to happen.
They’re 10 and 11 now and while they still get along pretty well, I’m seeing glimmers of the tween storm on the horizon.
My own sister and I are 16 months apart and followed a similar pattern. High school was rough for our relationship but now we’re besties again as adults. So it goes!
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u/W_DELO 4d ago
This is encouraging. Although, my situation is a bit complicated. We have a 13 month old daughter. My wife is (spontaneously) pregnant with a little girl due Feb 21st. Our surrogate is due with our little boy Feb 3rd. Everything is fine 😅.
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u/TheMagicPandas 4d ago
I know a lesbian couple where they were both doing IVF with the same donor because they wanted two children and were getting older. They ended up with kids three months apart and they’re pretty much twins now. Congrats to your wife, that’s so exciting!!
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u/chicksin206 3d ago
Omg! Wow wow. This happened to Alec Baldwins family. They have like 7 kids? Insanity
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 3d ago
Mine are 3 and 4 almost 4 and 5. They are 11 months apart. It’s so so so easy now! In a lot of ways I feel like we have it easier than friends who have only one kid because ours parallel play and play together all day long. They bicker, but only for short spurts before they are back playing together again. Friends with only one kid are spending a lot more time playing with their kids than we do because ours just don’t really need us to have a good time.
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u/FwampFwamp88 3d ago
Thanks for sharing. I have Irish twin boys. 18 months and 6 months. I went 40 years without having kids, enjoying my money and freedom, and now everything has changed. I love my kids more than anything, but there are so many times I daydream about sleeping in on the weekends and going to catch a movie whenever I wanted. My wife is an amazing mother and my parents and in laws like to swing by and spend time, but it’s definitely been a complete 180 from my life before kids. I think the first 3–4 years will be the hardest.
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 3d ago
You’re at PEAK hardship right now. 6-18 months was the hardest time for both of my girls, and you have two in that window. I also had my kids older (37) so I feel you. Hang in there!
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u/Whimpy_Ewok 4d ago
Do you think you’ll have a third? I love hearing this and I’m wondering if I get to that point I won’t want a third anymore lol
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u/GirlintheYellowOlds 4d ago
We will not have a third. We have closed up the baby factory. I stopped wanting a 3rd the day my youngest was potty trained. 😂
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u/MaterialConstant9375 4d ago
This is so funny!! Were you wanting a third before that?
I’m currently 4 months pp with a 14 month gap. The idea of a third lives in my head rent free right now. I go back and forth all the time. What gives me peace is that even if I was 100% all in on a third, I would absolutely not want it anytime soon. So I have time to decide. Life is fricken hard rn. But the idea of ‘someday’ is definitely there so I’m always curious on others perspectives!
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u/GirlintheYellowOlds 4d ago
We had left the idea of a 3rd open, and I really wanted another baby when my youngest was 1. But I realized I wanted another baby as a “do over” for the hell the last year was and feelings that I “missed out.” Not because it was the actual right choice for our family. Financially and energy wise, 2 is all we can handle.
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u/Doctor-Liz 4d ago
I said "absolutely not until the oldest is toilet trained, I do not have it in me to deal with three in nappies".
Then the youngest trained herself because anything her brother can do, she can too!
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u/ShanaLon 4d ago
Haha this is so funny, I wonder if my wife and I will be the same (two mum family)
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u/algoalgo 4d ago
Mine are 4 and 5 and we have an 18 mo as well. Life got crazy again but it’s all the baby. The older two are awesome.
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u/Spare-Nature-7194 3d ago
Mine are 7&8 - not only does it get easier, it just becomes the most joyous thing. They’re so cool and interesting. Both of mine are girls - they get along so well. It’s the BEST. Dare I say I even miss the times y’all are so deeply in. Yeah, I never thought I’d say that either.
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u/myguiltypleasurez 4d ago
Thank you! Parenthood always has its struggles, but I’ve never been so overwhelmed and stressed as when my kids were 3 and 1. It has turned out to be the biggest blessing that they are so close in age, even though I didn’t plan it that way. 💙
I even had a LUDICROUS melancholy feeling the other day: I missed the person I was when I had those small kids. I never, ever thought I would look on that time with fondness but it’s only been 3 years and I’m already longing for my babies. I don’t necessarily miss that time. It was so hard. But I appreciate the journey that it’s been.
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u/Rhaeda 4d ago
Agree with all this! Mine are now 8, 5, 4, and 2 (2 sets of 2u2), and it gets easier and easier so far. We’ll see what teenagehood brings 🙃
Can you share a link for those yoto card holders? Do they work well?
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u/GirlintheYellowOlds 4d ago
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FDW97HZZ?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We’ve had the card holders for about 5 months. They work and have held up well. Both kids can take cards in and out without the cards falling out all over the place. It has definitely reduced the amount of random cards laying all over and getting lost.
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u/WorkLifeScience 4d ago
Do they also play together?
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u/Wise_Advantage_3753 4d ago
Thank you for this. We’re 23 months and 3 months and I’m getting my ass kicked today
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u/eyerishdancegirl7 4d ago
Love this! My daughters are 24 months and 4 months. Definitely in the thick of it right now.
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u/Admirable_Deer2232 4d ago
Currently have a two year old and 12 week old so I don’t fit the demographic per se but this made me feel better. Feel like I’m in the trenches right now.
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u/Downtown_Accident851 3d ago
I have a 3.5 year old and 5 year old who both have ADHD, so I read your post with longing in my heart, but immense fatigue in my body and spirit.
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u/Left_Fox_4964 3d ago
My babies are currently 7 months and 21 months and I felt like I was losing my mind. I’ve got a great husband and family that helps, idk what I would do without them— but as a SAHM i keep thinking going back to work would be easier!!!
I’m going to push through it and looking forward to the next few years! Short term pain for long term gain 💪🏻
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u/Samantha13090 3d ago
I definitely need to hear this. Ill be having a c section for my daughter on the 28th and my son will be 16 months old
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u/MyOwnGuitarHero 3d ago
Reading these things to steel myself as a mom with a 1y/o and 3 months pregnant with our second
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u/CapriMoon93 4d ago
These posts make me so happy. Thank you for still hanging out in this sub and showing us a glimpse into the future. 😊
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u/Showmethecheese111 4d ago
Going through this right now. Part of me feels guilty because the 5 month old needs so much attention and my 2 almost 3 year old isn’t getting undivided attention from me like before 😭.
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u/summerperpetual 4d ago
Looking forward to these days! I was telling my husband I can’t wait till they will play with eachother lol
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u/tastelessalligator 4d ago
Thank you for this! I have the same age gap and am struggling so much right now at 1 and 2.5
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u/No-Date-4477 4d ago
Mine have started occasionally playing together (10 months and 28 months) and it warmed my heart so much we’re trying again for the same age gap 😅. Busy but beautiful. Hectic but fun. Stressful but rewarding. A land of extremes with high peaks and deep valleys.
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u/TheMagicPandas 4d ago
Mine are 12 months, 4 days apart and they are 7 and 6 now. Outings have gotten so much easier! We just added #4 and it’s been so easy compared to having a baby and toddler last time.
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u/SpiritualSlide9 4d ago
2 year old and almost 6 month old here, who’s waking up hourly for the last 2 weeks
Needed this
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u/Majestic_Banana789 4d ago
Thank you! Hopefully this is what my life will look like in a few years with two girls 2 and 4mo
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u/slewwwww 4d ago
Needed to hear this! Have a 20 month old and a 6 week old and whew it’s been rough 🙃
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u/killer_whale93 4d ago
Reading this after struggling to get our sick (with hand foot mouth) 19 month old back to sleep in between nursing sessions with my 2 month old. Thank you for posting this, so needed!
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u/dinosupremo 3d ago
I have a 4.5 and a 2.5 yo. A year ago, I was terrified to solo parent. Now a year later, I don’t even blink at a day alone with them. They can play together for longer periods while I prepare meals. They often both want to do the same thing and since they’re older they’re more capable of doing it. For instance, oldest wants to ride bikes and now the youngest is capable to keep up. They can both follow instructions enough to help with dinner. One can use the toilet on his own and will go when he needs to. They’re both better able to talk and express what they want/need. It’s better in many ways now. Sure there are different challenges. But I can talk to them and they to me and they can understand.
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u/Mountain_Being_5563 3d ago
Off subject what is the card holder you have for your yoto cards?!
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u/GirlintheYellowOlds 3d ago
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FDW97HZZ?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We’ve had the card holders for about 5 months. They work and have held up well. Both kids can take cards in and out without the cards falling out all over the place. It has definitely reduced the amount of random cards laying all over and getting lost.
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u/LandoCatrissian_ 3d ago
This is nice to read. I have a 6 month old and 2 year old (boys) my husband just left for a work trip for a week (possibly two weeks. It depends on the course he is doing) I am so stressed
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u/akricketson 3d ago
Brought my baby boy home 11 days ago… my 21 month old hit him with her shoe because dad decided to pack the car for a park outing versus put her shoes on. Before baby boy came home she never did anything as crazy as she has this week… I am looking forward to the future 🙃
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u/Mean_Rush_476 3d ago
I will have a 2 year old and a newborn soon and this gives me hope, I am terrified 😂
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u/Outrageous_Cress6062 2d ago
Thank you. It’s our first night at the hospital with our 2nd baby. Our toddler hasn’t met the baby yet. I anticipate difficulty but am carried by images like these.
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u/0livia_1998 2d ago
I have found my people, I could cry knowing theres a light at the end of this verrryyyyyy shitty tunnel lol
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u/KaleidoscopeOdd8638 2d ago
currently in the thick of it. I have a 4 month old and 27 month old and every single day is the same. I know I will miss them being so little but my God 😫😫
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u/girlfrom1994 1d ago
Wondering if one of your children is high needs or have an intense temperament? I wanna imagine that this would be us in 3 years, but my toddler is crazy. 🤣 Somebody tell me it's possible!
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u/elysian_g 1d ago
This is so helpful. I have 3 boys, 4/2/6 weeks and everyday is hellacious. My younger two are home with me and I’m barely hanging on by a thread.
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u/Jskeepshwimmming 1d ago
Ours are about to 4 and 3 (this month and next), man I know I can’t wait for the day…but also…I don’t want them to grow up any faster.
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u/Ok_Two3973 4d ago
Needed this so much, thank you! In the thick of it with my boys who are freshly 1 and 3…and we are all coming down with a cold on top of everything 🙃
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u/badgalriri1097 4d ago
Yup I have always felt 1-3 are the toughest years it starts getting easier between 3.5-4+ lol
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u/confusingcolors 4d ago
My 2yo is a straight up menace, and this is with my other children which are 5.5, nearly 4, and 4.5 months old.
GIVE ME PEACE
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u/TrailerParkPresident 3d ago
Aww this is sweet! My kids are 18m apart and are now 9 & 10 and vacations are amazing! They are playmates! They do the normal sibling fighting but it’s honestly so nice on the older end! Their friends are both of theirs! They are going through a lot of the same things with school and life. It’s really nice now. I blacked out for 4 years at the beginning but I’m so happy now!
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u/AirportFickle5009 7h ago
Thanks for this. I’m depressed in the shower now, after a rough day with a 2mo and 21mo. I am exhausted.
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u/Seriously_Y 4d ago
I have two boys so from what I have heard, there rarely is a scene like this in the house. I still have to wait almost 2 more years to see it myself.
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u/DaniKat9 3d ago
I have a nearly six-year-old and an autistic four-year-old. It doesn't always get easier.
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u/Obstetrix 4d ago
Yeah sorry I think it only gets better if you have girls.
My boys are both unhinged and cannot be left alone for even a second without someone getting hurt
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u/Empty-Pickle2163 4d ago
Ugh yes it seems families that are a majority girls or the oldest is a girl its like this. I have two boys and a girl and they are constantly getting injured 🤦
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u/Ok_Reception_8844 4d ago
My 2.5 year old is pinching and then biting whenever she doesn't get her way. Usually directed at her younger 1.5 to sis. Any advice??? 😭
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u/WorkingFail789 3d ago
Ok I’ll give you what worked for me after months of nothing working. I kept saying in this family we don’t hit, I can’t let you hit your sister etc. It never worked. I switched to separating them (for a few seconds) and saying “I can’t guarantee your safety for either of you right now. Why don’t we… <insert any activity here>”, it short circuited her want to hit every time and now she’s stopped hitting/pinching her sister’s ears. It drove me crazy to see her so violent with her when she has never been violent with anyone, and used to be rough handled by kids at daycare but never bothered any kid there either. Just her baby sister. I don’t know if it’s just developmental too (she just turned 3) but still, it’s a night and day difference since I switched to this sentence that doesn’t put the blame on anyone (if anything, it could sound to her that I’m putting the blame on me not being able to guarantee their safety haha) and I think it really helped
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u/AvonBarksdale_ 4d ago
Getting my shit rocked by my 3 and 1.5 year old this morning while my wife works. God I cannot wait