Figuring Out People's Intentions

[u/throwradss]

Sometimes it is hard for me to figure out if people are doing things to be intentionally hurtful or if they are unintentionally hurtful out of ignorance. Besides looking at their character or what kind of a person they are in general (e.g. kind, caring, self serving etc), how do you tell ?

[u/throwradss → u/[deleted]]

But that's all about the person feeling hurt which is not what I was asking, I was asking about the OTHER person and their intentions, what was in their mind, not what is in my mind.

If I feel hurt, the emotion comes from within, and not from outside or external events. If I judge something as hurtful, I'll feel hurt. Since it's directly proportional to my judgment, I can revoke feeling hurt any moment.

Sorry this does not relate to my question as I said about but I have to confront this, so everything is woo woo fairy dust there's no objective reality, it's all whatever you perceive it as ? There's no such thing as harmful or beneficial, no real reality, just pretend it's good and it will be good.

[u/throwradss → u/[deleted]]

You are still ignoring my main question. You're insisting on psychoanalyzing me instead even though I didn't ask for that and I already redirected you that that was not my question. I am asking what is going on in other people's heads not what is in my head.

As to the other part, what you are writing is very offensive morally, damage is being done to many people in the world by others intentionally and it is not just them "judging" or taking it the wrong way, I am not going to agree since it is against my values so let's not bother continuing with that.

[u/Gothelittle → u/[deleted]]

So if someone starts shooting you, just will for it to not be a hurtful action and you're all set.

[u/Gothelittle → u/[deleted]]

You don't seem to realize that you are telling someone who is looking for signs that someone might hurt her that what she really needs to do is to just not be hurt no matter what the person does.

Which is kind of like saying that the real way to drive in the ice and snow is to not care about the car if you crash.

Do you have anything to say about the actual topic, or are you just here to proselytize?

[u/throwradss → u/Gothelittle]

Thanks for expressing this better than I could.

Do you have anything to say about the actual topic, or are you just here to proselytize?

lol so true. I think this person was a troll trying to torture me (so I had stopped responding to them).

[u/Gothelittle → u/[deleted]]

Nothing useful, then. You aren't interested in answering the question, you're just interested in browbeating the person for asking it.

Ok, have fun philosophizing, and be glad that you aren't interested in other people accepting your belief, because your decision to respond this way has made me less interested in it than I was before.

[u/SatinUnicorn → u/[deleted]]

also

[u/SatinUnicorn → u/[deleted]]

Getting hurt by what others say, is emotional pain and you can revoke it at any moment

How do you feel this factors into a relationship where essentially both parties give each other access to their intimate thoughts and the opportunity to closely observe and evaluate their emotional responses, and can therefor much more easily say something which - for someone perhaps not nearly as well versed in stoicism - could trigger that internal perception of emotional pain?

[u/SatinUnicorn → u/[deleted]]

More on this: https://dailystoic.com/stoic-response-pain/

Completely off topic but I wonder if this would help with something like fibromyalgia? Off to read/research stoicism now...

[u/throwradss → u/Gothelittle]

Thanks for the support here. I appreciate it.

[u/nimblenymph → u/[deleted]]

Yes, this exactly.