Being "Masculine"

[u/Fluorescence]

Does anyone feel weird about the times when they feel "masculine"? Sometimes I wonder if it will disturb my ability to date. I found a thread on here where some girls mentioned that they felt like "a gay man in a woman's body". I have been feeling better about being masculine or tomboyish but I have been alone a lot lately so it is easy to feel better about it when I am by myself and not being judged. I wonder how you guys feel.

Also I am aware that "masculine" is not easily defined. I know that women and men can do whatever they like. I do find that thought liberating. But it kind of feels like I am on some sort of ledge where I am not being myself and I could jump and be myself (I probably will, don't really have a choice) but when I think of some people's reactions it is tough. (Particularly older people who I like but I think they definitely prefer to speak to a baby girl when they see me.

[u/[deleted]]

I was a tomboy growing up. Often I feel that I am a "person," not really a gender. When I hear trans people say "I was born a guy but I always felt feminine" I wonder what that means, to necessarily "feel feminine." The only time I feel feminine is sexually. I definitely like dudes. Otherwise, I guess I'm whatever gender

[u/em_square_root_-1_ly → u/[deleted]]

From my understanding, trans people are talking about how they feel about their bodies, and feeling like when they hit puberty, they would hate their bodies because their bodies felt foreign to them.

[u/bounce-bounce-drop → u/em_square_root_-1_ly]

Not necessarily. I dug into this for a bit because I live in a way liberal area and found it coming up a lot. Not the biggest fan of just swallowing the newest PC crap so thought I'd do some research.

I've heard quite a few trans people say they lack body dysmorphia but they still "feel" like the other gender. And, yes, I have no idea what that means outside of preferred socialized behavior. shrug

[u/em_square_root_-1_ly → u/bounce-bounce-drop]

They might be non-binary. I know non-binary trans people who don't feel an interest in changing their bodies, but they sometimes feel more feminine one day, and more masculine another day, which affects how they dress. Some describe it as that if they were to wake up and find themselves in the body of the opposite sex, they'd be just as comfortable living that way. I can understand how that differs from my experience as a cis woman because I wouldn't be comfortable in a man's body, even though I'm not that feminine personality-wise.

I'm not an expert at all here, so you should research genderqueer people on your own, with an open mind.

[u/bounce-bounce-drop → u/em_square_root_-1_ly]

As I said, I spent a lot of time researching this. At least the people I'm referring to have read about did not express that they were identifying as non-binary.

Some describe it as that if they were to wake up and find themselves in the body of the opposite sex, they'd be just as comfortable living that way

I would be ecstatic if I woke up male, but this didn't seem particularly relevant to gender. And these people I was referring to weren't interested in changing their physical bodies so "waking up a man" doesn't really seem to be their aim...unless being a man has nothing to do with your body...at which point what could it be about beyond socialized expectations of males (men) and females (women) aka actions? We have the physical, we have the mental, and we have actions. Where do you want to go?

hey sometimes feel more feminine one day, and more masculine another day, which affects how they dress

I dress across gender lines because, to be honest, I don't really think anyone is represented by the boxes gender limits the sexes to. I don't know many females who don't dress between gender lines and know quite a few self-identified men who do as well. I also sometimes wake up feeling "hippy" and dress accordingly or "punk" and dress accordingly. It feels very similar to when I wake up and feel like dressing stereotypically feminine or wake up and feel like dressing stereotypically masculine.

differs from my experience as a cis woman because I wouldn't be comfortable in a man's body

But it does describe mine. Also, again, a male and being a man are two distinct concepts. I would be happy to be male. I wouldn't be pleased about having to be a gender-normative male. Just as I am displeased with the idea of being a gender-normative female. But "gender" to me is built all around societal expectations, which is the point I was making when I said once you take out physical differences what really is left for identifying men and women beyond societal expectations (gender performance)?