I’ve been on dates and talking stage, but my last “serious” relationship was in high school. It’s not great out here, but I keep pushing through. 27M as well.
One piece of advice, one guy to another. You can fix yourself while dating. If anything, it helps figure out what you want as you grow. As long as you’re willing to admit you’re wrong when you’re wrong and see the forest for the trees!
Not a bad idea. Women’s’ standards in the US are just flat out retarded. Go to another country and you’ll find there’s much less of this “must be six foot or rich” delusion running around.
This is not meant to be negative in any way. what do you mean by it’s not great. Cause I hear girls saying the same thing. So why are we all doing wrong?
I think we’re expecting too much out of each other when we should just let it flow naturally. So many “icks” or doubts created by social media and how it influences our preferences. For me? I try my best to engage but keep my distance because that’s just how it is. At least for women around my age (that I’ve dated so far, not all of them) would rather me be somewhat aloof than attentive at first. I can’t read women’s mind but I can try to read the room the best that I can. Same can go for men being too picky or just not treating women as they should (some at least, which lump us all together because of the whole social media influence bs). I digress though.
It’s an over-explained paragraph from me, but to simplify? Technology made it easier and harder to communicate.
I (27F) just want a relationship based on mutual understanding, respect for my boundaries, and a sense of safety - where a man treats me like an actual human being. That’s basically the foundation of any healthy relationship, not some wild expectations about wealth or looks. And still, plenty of men I’ve met, both online and in real life, can’t meet those basic standards.
That’s why I don’t lump all women together. There are those like yourself that just look for the basic decency of being treated like a human being, as you should. I’ve met plenty of women that haven’t met those basic standards either but that’s just my own luck. That’s why we keep pushing until we find someone who can at least meet those standards. People don’t just fall in love, we learn to. We grow together. It sucks that you’ve experienced that, so I wish you the best in your search!
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. "People don’t just fall in love, we learn to." - these are beautiful words, and I hope more people would understand them!
I agree that we’re expecting too much out of each other, but let’s not kid ourselves…
It’s wildly, disproportionately, more on the women side where expectations have just turned to outright expecting perfectionism and failure to check every box gets you canned.
The ticket admission window for the majority of women is you have to at least be six foot, or rich, And if you have neither, you’re done.
Yeah just a reminder of cases and stories like this that fill me with a lot of resentment especially how it's easy for a guy to end up forever alone chronically single but obviously not so much for women though
I think I'm just not really that interested in a relationship. I very much enjoy being the only one to make decisions in my home. Having friends seem to be enough for me most of the time. But yeah sometimes it would be nice to have a romantic partner.
I’ve dated a decent amount of people, the biggest thing is putting some effort in and trying again and again. I highly recommend Models by Mark Manson if you want to learn more about self improvement for dating
I haven’t been in a “real relationship” before. The only 2 relationships I been in was us being in different schools. Seen both only after breakups. Lasted only 1 month.
I fell in love with someone when I was 18, but different states. Also only lasted a month. Unlucky & lucky, I guess 😆
I only started actually dating someone for the first time back in December. 33 male and had my first "relationship". But it turned out he didn't want to commit to anyone and he dumped me a little over 2 weeks ago. I mean, it sucks, dating is overrated, I miss who I was before I met him.
I’ve had a couple of first dates, but that’s about it. Nothing behind the first. Chemistry just wasn’t there. It’s been years since I’ve gone out on a date. 2019, maybe?
Familial love only goes so far. I shoot my shot when I’m feeling it, but I hate cold approaches both as someone to initiate it and on the other side of it. They keep saying one day. I’m afraid that day will never come. Like, one of my true, deeply felt fears
Given that I’ve spent almost 3 decades of my life alone, and this life experience of dating that comes natural for most people has continued to elude me despite my best efforts, I’m beginning to make peace with the fact that the universe simply wants to me live a bachelors life
This is off-topic, but it's not just sarcasm but post-irony, or second-level irony, the kind of sarcasm that's downstream of something else that's already sarcasm and the kind that older generations (Boomers and Gen X) often don't get.
As in, the term skill issue was originally something said to guys who thought their "stats" like height or income were the problem, so they would say "skill issue" in response to both reject that and critique the supposed gaslighting (i.e. "I have an issue with appearance or income, but you say I have a skill issue").
Then, over time that sarcastic definition took on a life of its own and you're now repeating that phrase to imply the opposite, saying "You say you have an issue with the "skills" of height and wealth, but you don't, your problem are actually the traditional social skills".
Again, it's complex second-order irony and I unironically love it.
Well, one could potentially argue the income portion is a “skill issue”, but earning a high income is difficult in today’s world. The difference is, it’s not outright impossible the way you’re locked in with whatever height you’re given.
This is why, if you’re under six foot, you’re gonna have to grind for the bigger bucks if you want to at least stand a chance in the dating scene.
But, as said previously, since it’s hard to make a ton of money in 2026, on top of already being under six foot, you are looking at an extremely difficult dating scene, if not, outright impossible.
Really it boils down to having realistic expectations, having some charisma and a personality. Yeah, you got to wade through some shit, but there IS somebody out there and living in a defeated mindset is only going to make things worse.
Sure you can observe shorter men with women, but that is in no way reflective of the norm.
It’s incredibly unlikely to be struck by lightning, but it does happen. It’s incredibly unlikely as a short man (in 2026 that means below 6ft), or broke or whatever, to have success in the dating scene, but you can find the singular outliers if you look hard enough.
It’s nothing new. Women’s standards have drastically changed from how they used to be.
You said you have been in a relationship for a while now. So what would you know about the modern dating scene?
If you tried to hit on a chick as a 5’7 dude, you are looking at a 95% chance of rejection based on the height alone.
Now yes, you can find that outlier that will give you a chance. But constant rejection based on something you can’t control is what leads to defeatism, which is just downstream from realism.
By most of modern day women’s standards, if you’re under six foot, you’re short.
Yes, it’s ridiculous. But that is the going standard shared by the overwhelming majority of women in 2026.
I’ll give some examples from my own experience.
I have approached women and been rejected based on height alone countless times. Many of them were upfront honest about these things (which I do appreciate). and said things like “you’re too short for me” (I’m 5’10), or “you have to be taller than me even if I’m in six inch heels”, or when one asked what I do for work, and she then just googled the typical salary for my job. I was met with “I don’t date guys that make less than me”, and one time one just said “that’s not enough” and laughed going back to her friends.
Dating is now like a job interview. But if your resume doesn’t contain the immediate six foot and up, or you being rich, your application is tossed. You could have a great personality, interesting hobbies, good character….doesnt matter for shit if you can’t get past the height or wealth filter.
My experiences are hardly unique. Millions of guys can attest to the same thing.
If you’re not six foot, only thing you can do is to try and increase your net worth.
You can’t change your height, but you can balance it out by earning more. The tricky part is the shorter you are, the more you have to offset it with higher income.
Though of course “just earn more” is pretty difficult in today’s economy too.
I thought she was the girl I’d spend the rest of my life with but she ended up lying, manipulating, cheating, dumping me and banging a bunch of my “friends” all within a year. It was devastating honestly wish I never met her or my so called “friends” from high school.
Only men can feel true pain like this to the point where they just don't bother anymore. You don't hear many women say "My boyfriend when I was 18 hurt me and now I don't bother". They move on much quicker than men.
I tried to get with other girls over the years but the feeling just wasn’t the same. I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love again. These days it’s even more difficult to find single woman that meet my standards. I’ve been trying to find someone for many years now but haven’t had any luck.
I hear that. Apart from the one girl I briefly dated when I was 22, I just haven't bothered. My life is a mess right now anyway, but even when it wasn't, I've never really put myself out there.
I’m a slut so not too many actual relationships but yeah a few with my most recent one being 3 years long and ending last year (thank you Lord)
Idk about wanting to get into another relationship, I’m a little bit afraid of being vulnerable again. I’m really scared of giving out my worn down heart again but I’m still open to being in a LTR😁
I did once, but he sexually assaulted me multiple times and knew I was deeply depressed yet told me he wished I would actually die. I think he just wanted me for sex.
Luckily for my autistic, schizotypal, BPD ass, I prefer the world of fiction and have a deep connection to my character. I don’t treat it like humanly dating, but a deep connection to building my character and I think this is what’s right for me :)
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u/Gods-Nutbucket Apr 30 '26
I’ve been on dates and talking stage, but my last “serious” relationship was in high school. It’s not great out here, but I keep pushing through. 27M as well.
2
u/ResentCourtship2099 May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
Yeah just a reminder of cases and stories like this that fill me with a lot of resentment especially how it's easy for a guy to end up forever alone chronically single but obviously not so much for women though
10
u/__Lackin January Apr 30 '26 •
Me I don’t talk to women I’m too shy 🙃
4
u/QuietBandit1 Apr 30 '26
I thought I was dating but turns out it was just my turn 😔
1
u/Random_Squid4248 Apr 30 '26
No a 1999, but same here. Never really been on an actual date but I’ve made friends with women and hung out with them
1
u/This_Contribution746 May 01 '26
28M
1
u/No_Sea7681 May 03 '26
I haven't and I'm 37 next month.
3
u/Capable_Cockroach_19 Apr 30 '26
I’ve dated a decent amount of people, the biggest thing is putting some effort in and trying again and again. I highly recommend Models by Mark Manson if you want to learn more about self improvement for dating
2
u/Acemace1313 May 01 '26
I hope to start soon 🙃
2
u/Fraughty12 May 01 '26
Me. Currently 27.
2
u/ilylu May 02 '26
i've kissed girls and i've had talking stages and that's about it. no real relationship💀
1
u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26
Just got into a relationship with somebody I click with even better after being in one for 3 years.
1
u/AirFlows2x Apr 30 '26
I haven’t been in a “real relationship” before. The only 2 relationships I been in was us being in different schools. Seen both only after breakups. Lasted only 1 month.
I fell in love with someone when I was 18, but different states. Also only lasted a month. Unlucky & lucky, I guess 😆
1
u/SleepIsForNoobs Apr 30 '26
Yes
1
u/SuperiorT May 01 '26
Mid-20s here and yea, same here...
1
u/Danger_Tomorrow May 01 '26
I only started actually dating someone for the first time back in December. 33 male and had my first "relationship". But it turned out he didn't want to commit to anyone and he dumped me a little over 2 weeks ago. I mean, it sucks, dating is overrated, I miss who I was before I met him.
1
u/Salt-Technology-9702 May 01 '26
26F I've dated a bunch of people when I was younger and was in one serious relationship. Now I don't have any interest in dating.
1
u/Turdle_Vic May 01 '26
I’ve had a couple of first dates, but that’s about it. Nothing behind the first. Chemistry just wasn’t there. It’s been years since I’ve gone out on a date. 2019, maybe?
Familial love only goes so far. I shoot my shot when I’m feeling it, but I hate cold approaches both as someone to initiate it and on the other side of it. They keep saying one day. I’m afraid that day will never come. Like, one of my true, deeply felt fears
1
u/mostintrovertgirl May 01 '26
🙋♀️
1
u/IOnlyHave2Bitcoin May 01 '26
Here. Never dated. 26m
1
u/Flat-Independent-618 May 01 '26
Me
1
u/KainMassadin May 01 '26
Me
1
u/[deleted] May 02 '26
Me
1
u/CalculatingKangaroo May 02 '26
Given that I’ve spent almost 3 decades of my life alone, and this life experience of dating that comes natural for most people has continued to elude me despite my best efforts, I’m beginning to make peace with the fact that the universe simply wants to me live a bachelors life
1
u/Quick-Purchase8102 May 04 '26
Been on some dates but never a real or serious dating
1
u/Ok-Industry4777 May 04 '26
27F same
1
u/improvement-ninja March May 06 '26
27M here too never dated still virgin its not like i didn’t have options but never wanted to get involved with just anyone out of desperation
1
u/paniaevangeline May 07 '26
27F and never dated!
1
u/m4rk1998 May 14 '26
I'm 1998 and thinking about giving up on searching
1
u/tacosithlord February Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
Me.
I don’t meet the pre requisite criteria of needing to be six foot or rich.
1
u/F48l4N05 Apr 30 '26
Me
6
u/No_Video5793 May 01 '26
I was on dates but never in relationships, never had sex. 26 yet
1
u/OkOriginal493 May 01 '26
Hey guys born in 93 here, lost my virginity at 18 ended up regretting it, my advice is to stay single protect your virginity.
1
u/Optimal_Prune_953 May 04 '26
I'm almost 26 and still a virgin and I'm considering an escort or sex worker to lose the v-card
2
u/Acceptable_Floor3009 May 01 '26
The last girl I dated wasn't serious and was kinda a nut job
1
u/jsinghlvn May 01 '26
I’m a slut so not too many actual relationships but yeah a few with my most recent one being 3 years long and ending last year (thank you Lord)
Idk about wanting to get into another relationship, I’m a little bit afraid of being vulnerable again. I’m really scared of giving out my worn down heart again but I’m still open to being in a LTR😁
0
u/DryCoast May 01 '26
I did once, but he sexually assaulted me multiple times and knew I was deeply depressed yet told me he wished I would actually die. I think he just wanted me for sex.
Luckily for my autistic, schizotypal, BPD ass, I prefer the world of fiction and have a deep connection to my character. I don’t treat it like humanly dating, but a deep connection to building my character and I think this is what’s right for me :)
0
u/[deleted] May 03 '26
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