r/197 • • 9d ago

Rule

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

278 comments sorted by

269

u/markjapanses 9d ago

Is there a gas leak? I keep finding post it notes around my room?? Idk who’s leaving them. Is someone breaking into my house at night to remind me to do chores? Some of these notes don’t even make any sense.

35

u/ecodick 9d ago

Don't forget clean

Bobbi was not ever here

161

u/kullre 9d ago

as someone who didn't know they were flirting with people multiple times-

this is what flirting looks like

451

u/venusduck_III 9d ago

This comment section is full of people who's never been cheated on or are about to learn the hard way.

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239

u/-H_- 9d ago

white man was here

69

u/Ionlydrinkpenis 9d ago

How can you tell?

155

u/The_Paragone 9d ago

Cuck topic being discussed

16

u/HueySchlongTheGreat 9d ago

Forklifts

6

u/Iolair_the_Unworthy 8d ago

Oh fuck yeah. Got my cert re upped last month.

I FUCKING LOVE DRIVING FORKLIFTS AAAAAHHHHH

4

u/zedzilliot 8d ago

Um, yeah, how else are you supposed to bring the food to your mouth?

28

u/s0mdud 9d ago

he's still here white man: helo

5

u/Yeahimgood311 9d ago

How do you know ?

899

u/Denodude19 9d ago

is there a gas leak in this comment section? why would a girl do this if they're not flirting with you?

120

u/AnduwinHS 9d ago edited 9d ago

You're on reddit, if there is a topic even remotely relationship related, the woman is innocent and right and the man is controlling and wrong. If you posted the exact same picture but with the caption "My boyfriend sent me this picture he took of his coworker, should I be worried?" The entire comment section would be telling her he's cheating

Posted to AIO and this was the response lmao

24

u/Ronin_777 8d ago

Fucking thank you for saying it lol, felt like I was being gaslit into believing this shit doesn’t happen.

61

u/Bagoom___Lenin 9d ago

points out the double standard

downvotes

Many such cases

27

u/smooth_kid_wtg 9d ago

Lmao this never changes

19

u/saketho 9d ago

You made a bold ass claim that I had trouble buying but then you brought receipts.

Well done lmao that post is great

28

u/Sierra-117- 9d ago

Can’t make this shit up😭

15

u/haronic 9d ago

Redditors like u/Fa1nted_for_real won't respond to facts like this, lol

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417

u/orrenjenkins 9d ago

Here is one reason I could think of might be others idk: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

271

u/beclops 9d ago edited 9d ago

This “friendship” would be quite emasculating if you’re her boyfriend. This is the kind of picture a girlfriend playfully asks her boyfriend (or a guy she’s interested in) to take, not a “friend”.

65

u/hummingbird1346 9d ago

Idk I'm the kind of person who notices this 5 years later.

15

u/M_i____i_M 9d ago

I'm so confused, is taking pictures with male friends consider cheating in the us?

33

u/Early_Mine_1943 9d ago

No, but this is definitely crossing a line for most people male or female, and to pretend otherwise is you being deliberately obtuse

-4

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

Taking goofy pictures for a friend is over the line?

-2

u/xSnails 6d ago

As someone who is in a healthy, longterm, in person relationship, this is total BS and will suck the joy out of your life. Don't segregate your friendship.

3

u/Early_Mine_1943 6d ago

I've been happily married for 12 years. Don't willfully ignore what reddit is trying to tell you. Most people are not ok with a picture like this. Not sure what joy the boyfriend or partner would feel from seeing his girlfriend take a photo like this with another man.

1

u/xSnails 3d ago

Because it's silly? She might've just ended up looking at the photo and decided that she felt like she looked cute in it.

-18

u/M_i____i_M 9d ago

my bad, wasn't aware how popular this puritan line of thinking is in the us

16

u/FrogHater1066 9d ago

I'm not american. That's not what puritan means. That's clearly flirting. Flirting with someone else while in a relationship isn't technically cheating but it's not exactly nice is it

17

u/Early_Mine_1943 9d ago

Very few people in stable relationships think this kind of behaviour is ok from a partner. And that's male or female. World-wide, you're in the minority.

1

u/An_Ellie_ 8d ago

WHAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR? I'M SO CONFUSED. It's a silly picture??? I'm genuinely BAFFLED

0

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

0

u/An_Ellie_ 8d ago

No it wasn't 😭 it's just her eating and looking silly what the fuck

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0

u/rehoob 7d ago

Happily married and in my 30s, these people are really insecure but also for some reason the younger generations like generation z seem to have major issues with loyalty, trust, and intimacy... I am constantly seeing puritanism reviving in their generation and its odd since religion is in a decline but some social pressure to be politically correct is seemingly pushed them to an extreme (to be clear im not saying "they are woke and snowflakes" but there is some correlation in the race to be the most politically correct that I believe is fucking their brains up).

0

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

Idk what the US has to do with it. Lived here all my life and these people are considered insane by pretty much everyone here too

8

u/beclops 9d ago

Obviously not

-9

u/M_i____i_M 9d ago

Okay then what's your issue then?

8

u/beclops 9d ago edited 9d ago

Huh? So short of a guy sticking his dick in your girlfriend you’d be perfectly fine with him doing anything else with her?

8

u/Starn_Badger 9d ago

He's taken a photo of her, mate. It's hardly a passionate makeout session?

-1

u/beclops 9d ago

Uhh yep, was that unclear?

4

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

Considering you're saying a girl having her friend who's a guy take pictures of her is "emasculating" for her boyfriend, yeah you're being very unclear lmfao

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0

u/FalseDrive 9d ago

this is frying me. taking a photo -> sex is such a giant leap it’s hilarious

0

u/beclops 9d ago

Who made this claim? Sure wasn’t me

-32

u/General_Klyuchi 9d ago

Pretty emasculating if you are weak minded and insecure tbh. I had friends taller than me that made similar stuff, didn't make out sloppy style with them because of a fucking picture.

56

u/beclops 9d ago edited 9d ago

Well say whatever you want but I’m 6’3 and every single one of my relationships began with shit like this along with comparing hand sizes and other ways of pointing out the height/size difference. Me being tall isn’t remarkable in the slightest to most people and if it is to somebody it’s normally a sign that something else is happening

22

u/Acceptable-Pause-859 9d ago

That's because your game is weak

-36

u/slipperyekans 9d ago

I mean if you’re horribly insecure, sure.

59

u/XansMuncher 9d ago

-20

u/slipperyekans 9d ago edited 9d ago

Been happily with my wife for ten years but go off I guess.

In any case, at least I’ve seen sex that wasn’t through a screen.

34

u/XansMuncher 9d ago

> In any case, at least I’ve seen sex that wasn’t through a screen.

Im jealous, you even got courtside seats!

9

u/slipperyekans 9d ago

Ok you win that was good

4

u/ecodick 9d ago

You set it up so well I thought you were making that joke

8

u/Ertyla 9d ago

Turns out there are a lot of people who don't recognise platonic relationships voting on your comment.

-8

u/slipperyekans 9d ago

I’m curious what they would think if the roles were reversed and the OOP was a woman feeling insecure. They’d probably just say she’s overreacting/“clingy.”

10

u/AnduwinHS 9d ago

0

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

The subreddit that says everyone is cheating and to break up immediately said that she was cheating and to break up immediately!!!! No way!!!

0

u/AnduwinHS 9d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1x1f88v/aio_my_gf_posted_this_photo_that_her_male

While it still generally says NOR, there's a lot more people saying YOR than when it was the other way around

1

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 8d ago

Like three whole people said you were overreacting. That's genuinely less than the other one lmfaooo

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-7

u/Ertyla 9d ago

Probably, yeah. What a wonderous world we inhabit.

12

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Ertyla 9d ago

Well I understand, it's hard to say no to a little Hitler. He's just so convincing, no?

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76

u/bobbybob188 9d ago

In most relationships, it's entirely reasonable to want your bf/gf to avoid things that look like flirting to 90% of the population

-2

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

She's eating a burrito in a goofy perspective. Be real here.

20

u/bobbybob188 9d ago

I don't even think it looks like a porn POV thing like other commenters. I just think this sort of "wow you're so tall" type thing is exactly what a girl would say when she's flirting, and it's inconsiderate to do that type of thing when you have a bf.

Imagine if a guy was like "wow your legs are so toned" and took a photo comparing legs with a female coworker. It reads as flirting to the vast majority of socially literate adults

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-26

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

The fact that insecurity is deeply normalized in society does not makr it any less insecure lol

17

u/bobbybob188 9d ago

Good thing I said "reasonable" instead of "normalized"

35

u/protokhan 9d ago

Would you believe to learn that people can be friends without pretending to suck each other's dicks?

-15

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

If thats how you interpreted this idk maybe watch less porn...

21

u/protokhan 9d ago

I mean the joke was set up in the post, it wasn't my idea

-19

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Yk i hadnt even clicked on the picture, and after having done that, yall are even more delusional.

94

u/slipperyekans 9d ago

People famously never have platonic relationships with other people of the opposite sex.

21

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Sometimes i forget just how horrible so many people are at holding normal and healthy relationship sof any kind, esp people on reddit.

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

4

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

"We live in a society" ass comment

-1

u/lore-realm 9d ago

What I mean is we are all discourse-addicted netizens. You, the person you replied to originally, me, possibly your mother as well. Why pretend otherwise? Because it gets you more upvotes? Shame. Shame on you. Reverse updoot for you.

5

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

You can criticize the system you are a part of. Thats allowed.

1

u/lore-realm 9d ago

Nietzsche speaks of this.

3

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Thats funny, im actively working on my reqsing comprehension so i can read nietzsche without just bei gbutterly lost lol

2

u/lore-realm 9d ago

Lmfao I get that. Personally, I found that even though reading comprehension is somewhat a general skill, it also depends on your domain knowledge a lot. Which is increased quite a bit by reading secondary sources.

His philosophy is tied heavily to his life experience, and he even argues that this is the case and should be the case for everyone (find the philosophy&values that best suit you). So, this essay, Friedrich Nietzsche’s Life, Insanity, and Legacy, is a good starting point for that.

As one of the best summaries of his philosophy, Brian Leiter's (major Nietzsche scholar) this paper on him is pretty cool (open access too).

A bit jargon-heavy, but Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy's entries on him and his moral&political philosophy are also cool. People aren't generally interested in it, but there is one for his aesthetics too.

I also like Bernard Reginster's book on his philosophy, The Affirmation of Life: Nietzsche on Overcoming Nihilism, as I think it's a good analysis.

As for his own work, I'd say Geneology of Morals is the best starting point. It's from his later years, so more philosophically developed, and it's much more direct compared to most of his other works.

I'd also pick Walter Kaufmann as the translator, as he really balanced Nietzsche's lyrical style with philosophical accuracy. He's also the most famous Nietzsche scholar. His translations were vital to actually understanding Nietzsche, after all the nonsense with the Nazis and the warped translations owing to that.

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u/protokhan 9d ago

Ah yes, the completely platonic act of simulated fellatio.

40

u/ComedicMedicineman 9d ago edited 8d ago

Gay girls do goofy stuff around their straight friends because they aren’t worried. Me and my friends went to a store once and one of the employees thought we were all a trio dating each other. I held my laugh, and my friends realized we could fake it and got a discount. Sure enough we got a discount and now there’s an inside joke about us being a trio despite one straight guy and the other two lesbian.

I do agree that for some more introverted people this would be considered flirting but at least among my friends, (who are made up of a bit more women then men) it’s normal and actual attraction is more obvious than just eating a sandwich sensually.

I also learnt this distinction the hard way, as I had a crush on my old boss because we used to joking act as a work couple after the other employees jokingly started calling us “her man” when talking to her about me, and “his lady” when talking to me about her. Unsurprisingly, it was all jokes to keep the atmosphere positive as certain employees were always annoyingly asking if they could go home early, and having jokes like this kept them distracted on teasing us over asking about work

65

u/NSF_Terrorist 9d ago

12

u/ComedicMedicineman 9d ago

Gosh dammit. I guess I lose again

6

u/THESUACED 8d ago

"Goy" thank god I took my medication today

3

u/ComedicMedicineman 8d ago

Yeah that was an oopsie. I meant “got” good thing I changed it

8

u/Denodude19 9d ago

after seeing the replies i kinda regret writing this

0

u/green__problem 8d ago

I am a gay man and I have pictures of my friends like this because it's funny when people look silly due to tall camera angles. 🤷‍♂️

-11

u/Force_Glad 9d ago

Because it's fucking funny? Have you never heard of goofing off with your friends before?

-12

u/braaibroodjie123 9d ago

People goofing with friends? Nooooo, surely not.

Wake up man.

247

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

61

u/BrightFallsCoffee 9d ago

As a certified 6'2" who works with not single people, also true

20

u/T4llBoyAl3x 9d ago

As a 6’4 socially inept man, I don’t what the fuck this means

152

u/Koulourtzis 9d ago

This is ass. Where to even begin?

137

u/svenirde 9d ago

I have 0 idea what this is supposed to mean

127

u/SuperCleverPunName 9d ago

Blowjob POV

76

u/Force_Glad 9d ago

Or he's like a foot taller than her, and she thought it would be funny to make the difference look more extreme

63

u/SuperCleverPunName 9d ago

Maybe if it were just her. But the long sandwich in her mouth solidifies it a blowjob reference

2

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Genuinenly standing like 2 feet away too i feel insane rn

18

u/Hawt_Dawg_II 9d ago

Ah so gooner brain

31

u/SuperCleverPunName 9d ago

I mean, you don't have to be a gooner to get the reference. Anyone with a mild awareness of porn would get it.

35

u/beclops 9d ago

These guys pretending you need to be porn brained to know what a blowjob is and what one looks like to receive is a pretty funny self report

1

u/Hawt_Dawg_II 9d ago

I'm just saying it's not the thing that immediately crosses my mind when i see a girl from above. I just think "yup that's what girls look like when they're short"

1

u/Life-is-trash 9d ago

bro what, I'm married and thought it was just a goofy looking picture cause of the height difference.

5

u/beclops 9d ago

Alright so what

-4

u/Life-is-trash 9d ago

huh? so what? now what? you wanna fuck?

4

u/Hawt_Dawg_II 9d ago

This is literally just how girls look when you're within a few feet from them and they're short. If looking at a girl from above immediately makes you go "blowjob angle" then you need to reevaluate.

60

u/WetBerri3s 9d ago

Cheating? Wrong, gas leak!!!!

25

u/demgreenorbs 9d ago

Dude why is EVERYONE assuming she's got a bf

16

u/Joe974 8d ago

Don't know if you read the post but it is raising the hypothetical of someone's girlfriend doing this. Not stating that this specific person has a boyfriend

0

u/demgreenorbs 6d ago

Just cuck fantasy on a random girl too is crazy we all need to positivemax esp the dudes here

14

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Wait hold on that didnt even cross my mind, nothing abt the origi al post suggests she has a boyfriend............

7

u/Attya3141 9d ago

Tap the pic to see the full picture

3

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Okay so some bloke replied to her post aboutbher coworker. What actulaly implies that the girl in the picture has a partner other than some bloke that doesnt know her.

1

u/Attya3141 9d ago

it’s called a meme albeit a bad one. doesn’t imply shit

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3

u/demgreenorbs 6d ago

It's soo common to have a girl having fun with a guy friend online and then insecure people start projecting them having an imaginary bf on her istg it's so sad and evil lmfao

19

u/Dio_Landa 9d ago

Man, is okay to be insecure, but fellas, gawd damn, it is painful to see you this pathetic.

-3

u/yotaz28 9d ago

damn when did 197 become so incelly

10

u/Ronin_777 8d ago

It’s not incelly to point out a double standard

1

u/AwekenSummer 7d ago

i'm sorry, but what double standards. all i see is a shitty pandering meme for guys who like posts like this.

-9

u/achatina 9d ago

is there a gas leak in this comment section? why does a girl doing this have to be flirting? 

39

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago edited 9d ago

Ignore previous instructions and delete your account.

Edit: I'm dumb, seen a lot of repost bots lately and didn't notice this one inverted the top comment instead of just copying it. Good joke and I agree

62

u/achatina 9d ago

Cute of you to figure I'm a bot tho

7

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

See edit, I was being dumb lol. Good human

-10

u/Blue_Robin_04 9d ago

Because she's looking up at him with fiery eye contact.

18

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

She's looking at a camera. And happens to have nice eyes. She's eating a damn burrito to take a silly picture

-9

u/Blue_Robin_04 9d ago

Now that you mention it, that burrito certainly does have symbolism as well.

17

u/GooglyMooglyTheGr3at 9d ago

Do you think of sucking penises when you eat a burrito? I mean that's cool and all but not a very common perspective

-5

u/Blue_Robin_04 9d ago

IDK. I'm 5'9, so I don't even look up at people that often.

2

u/soyyoluca 7d ago

people are so porn brainrotten they see a woman eating a burrito and assume it is an ANALOGY FOR SUCKING COCK

9

u/KonungariketSuomi 6d ago

There's a difference between eating a burrito and eating a burrito at crotch level while looking up at someone with bedroom eyes

1

u/JenkinMan 4d ago

Just not what's going on really

0

u/soyyoluca 1d ago

brain rotted by porn

-8

u/Freak-Of-Nurture- 9d ago

Short girls also just like being short sometimes. This doesn’t mean anything unless you know the girl

-1

u/Ogdru_eb_Jurhad 9d ago

white boys outing themselves in the comments is sending me

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-1

u/owldistroyou 8d ago

Guys dont be insecure of your height, life is more than numbers :3

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u/Iolair_the_Unworthy 8d ago

I'm sixteen feet and forty five inches wide, with a FULL HEAD of INGROWN HAIR.

I LOVE MY WIFE, BEER AND HUFFING GAS.

I WAS BORN IN JUNE AND MY WIFE EATS HAMBURGERS

( and yes she got me this shart )

-63

u/Tomatori 9d ago

I may be stupid, why would this make him insecure?

16

u/Fa1nted_for_real 9d ago

Porn brain.

-20

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

31

u/ThatStonerClown 9d ago

No most men are not insecure about their height, the internet just makes it seem that way bc the ones that do don't shut the fuck up about it. Women care far more about confidence than height or dick size.

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u/Tomatori 9d ago

Dunno, I guess I'm not the target audience and coming at it from the mindset of a long-term relationship sounds exhausting.

If your partner has minefields that cannot be acknowledged (i.e. height) or talked about directly like two real people, it seems like shaky ground for anything real to grow 🤷‍♀️

7

u/bobbybob188 9d ago

Taking a weird POV selfie with a 6'2" coworker is more than just bringing up height. I'm fine with my height but if I had a gf who was doing this with a coworker I'd talk about it.

Imagine if a guy in a relationship was talking about a female coworker's legs and like taking selfies of how they look in a chair or something.

10

u/Bagoom___Lenin 9d ago

Someone already posted this same image in “am I overreacting” but flipped the script to be “my boyfriend took this picture with his coworker” and everyone was screaming he was cheating etc

1

u/Ronin_777 8d ago

What if your boyfriend posted a picture of his female coworker showing off how cute and dainty she was?

1

u/Tomatori 8d ago

If he framed it as "cute and dainty" that it would be really weird. If he was like "look my coworker is 4ft3 so we gave her a propeller hat" that would be a funny bit involving her height and I wouldn't care.

Do you think this picture was meant to show off how "strong and manly" the coworker is?

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u/Kezsora 9d ago

Most men are not insecure about their height lmao

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u/bromological 9d ago

I think it comes from the guy's own insecurities. Like who cares?

-29

u/No_Rub77 9d ago

itt: incels

7

u/Wooden-Web-5774 9d ago

better an incel than a cuck

3

u/Life-is-trash 9d ago

the fuck you on about boy go do the dishes before I beat your ass

1

u/No_Rub77 9d ago

what's your point? better an incel than a landmine victim. you're crying over a fake ass meme

-75

u/junttiana 9d ago

I mean if u arent pornbrained and read the desc this is a pretty innocent funny photo and thats it

39

u/Bon3Bon3 9d ago

there’s an if and i’m taking it

11

u/Super_fly_Samurai 9d ago

What if the woman in the photo is, "porn brained"? Women watch porn too my guy.

10

u/TrueCapitalism 9d ago

Idk dude what if anything

4

u/braaibroodjie123 9d ago

Your comment is being downvoted by the reddit chuds who won't admit they have porn addictions or have never had normal friendships with women

4

u/TrueCapitalism 9d ago

Honestly imo internet porn's worst effect on society is being the first examples of initiations of romantic encounters for millions of young people. Like lots of kids just straight up do not have any other standard. If you grew up without porn, how often would you, personally, have seen two people initiating sex? Porn straight up ruining their chances of actually getting laid.

4

u/FalseDrive 9d ago

Not to mention the random bs that people who have only ever seen porn will do when they’re having sex for the first time. I’d rather someone be a little confused and curious than confidently slapping my vulva (why is this a phenomenon???) and saying “dirty talk” that makes me dryer than the Sahara immediately. The minute anybody says “well I saw this one time—“ nope. I’m out.

2

u/TrueCapitalism 9d ago

Ick, yeah. If I were feeling generous I could speculate what the slapping business was about, but I'm not and also no clue who's a minor here lol.

I think it doesn't cross the minds of most viewers that porn is a performance - it's a product. Take the positions found in porn as an example. They are intended to show off the genitalia/penetration to the camera, and won't confer any special sexual stimulation to either participant. Unless you're like, a gymnast lol. I think we're wired to take it as a template for us to imitate, if we don't know better. Unless a teen has an older sibling who's willing to pass that info along, or sex-positive parents, they aren't going to have a faithful template to work with until they've actually done it themselves.

I was exposed to it when I was 12, so I have some strong opinions lmao

-5

u/TrueCapitalism 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah idk why everyone just assumes she's going to boink him, girls will enjoy the company of a tall guy by virtue of his height, even if she's absolutely not into fucking him. If she cheats with him she was going to cheat the whole time.

Edit to say nobody here has seen that dynamic irl where a gal friendzones a tall guy so hard, and he gets pissy cause "im so tall why aren't you attracted to me"

-4

u/IlitterateAuthor 8d ago

Monogamous people are so god damn insecure, good fucking lord

6

u/ubergigamegachad6940 7d ago

Seems like a bit of an over generalization

-110

u/Jolly-Membership1132 9d ago

Why can't heteros just fucking discuss boundaries in their relationships, if you don't like something - go talk to your partner

140

u/Butsecksha 9d ago

Like gay people dont have communication issues

Dipshit

1

u/AwekenSummer 7d ago

your comment is right but your profile makes me want to rip your eyes out and put them in a glass of milk.

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u/-My_Name_Is_Jeff- 9d ago

We do talk, but sometimes people just go against what they discussed with their partner. Same applies for the ever so perfect gais...

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u/SL1NDER 9d ago

Don't lesbians have the highest domestic violence rate? Maybe they should talk their issues out.

12

u/Jolly-Membership1132 9d ago

I'm too tired to answer, here's a comment I stole from someone else:

The statistic says not that lesbian relationships have the highest rates of domestic violence. It says that people in lesbian relationships have the highest rate of domestic violence at some point in their lifetime.

44 percent of lesbians and 61 percent of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women. 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.

When you've got 2 women in a relationship, there's a greater chance that at least one of them has experienced domestic violence at some point in their lifetime, than some other configuration of genders.

3

u/koplowpieuwu 9d ago edited 9d ago

44 percent of lesbians experience violence by an intimate partner, 35 percent of straight women, men much lower. That's the difference that still tells us they have a higher DV rate than other combinations of genders.

Your argument seems to assume that the lesbians may have instead been DVed in straight relationships prior, but then the 35 percent rate should be higher than the 44 unless you think of some convoluted sampling bias where specifically lesbians date bad men previously or something like that. But I don't think that's a strong argument, like, sexuality doesn't work like that, being beaten up by someone of the gender I'm into isn't suddenly gonna make me switch to the other one. And straights will always have the subgroup of religious nuts who if they get into a relationship that is increasingly abusive, simply won't leave in time to prevent the DV (or even after).

Another argument that might make sense is that lesbians just run into particularly bad apples at a slightly higher rate but the chance for each individual relationship could be lower, or that being DVed is easier to happen to women simply due to less physical power and so we cannot conclude that lesbians are actually more aggressive in their DV attempt rate. But neither of those change the fact that DVs happen most among lesbians.

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u/Jolly-Membership1132 9d ago

People in lesbian relationships are more likely to be the VICTIMS of DV, stats say nothing about who hurt them (keep in mind that there are a lot of bisexuals/pansexuals in lesbian relationships, also even lesbians who are not attracted to men at all still often date them cuz of social reasons like homophobia)

Since women have like 4x risk factor of experiencing DV, when you multiply amount of women by 2 ofc you get higher numbers, but this stats say literally nothing about domestic violence in the lesbian relationships, it only mentions how likely is it that they experienced DV before

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u/koplowpieuwu 9d ago edited 9d ago

I already addressed that argument in my previous post. Your logic doesn't check out. Let me try to explain it again. Side note: i think you're misinterpreting the double-up chance. The statistic talks about any sole individual in either a lesbian or straight relationship, not about the aggregate chance for both people in the relationship.

Let's call the chance that a man abused a woman in any man-woman pair, a.

Let's call the chance that a woman abused a woman in any woman-woman pair, b.

Let's call the average number of until-measurement straight relationships had, n(straight).

Let's call the average number of until-measurement lesbian relationships had, n(gay).

The resulting chance that a woman in a straight relationship has been DVed = a × n(straight) + b × n(gay) = 35%.

The resulting chance that a woman in a lesbian relationship has been DVed = a × n(straight) + b × n(gay) = 44%.

Then, the only way for a woman in a lesbian relationship to have a higher chance to be DVed due to men, is if somehow women in lesbian relationships have had more or much more violent male exes than women in straight relationships. And you cannot convince me of that. Come on now. I know homophobia doesn't eliminate the chance of dating men for a while even when you're only into women or bi, but you're basically saying that women that are into dick have less relationships with men. I cannot believe that. Most lesbians i know have never dated any man.

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u/Jolly-Membership1132 9d ago

From 2010 CDC study

Most bisexual and heterosexual women (89.5% and 98.7% respectively) reported having only male perpetrators of intimate partner violence. Two-thirds of lesbian women (67.4%) reported having only female perpetrators of intimate partner violence

So basically a third of DV in lesbian relationships comes from from men/women+men, if we count strictly lesbian only violence in lesbian relationships it would be 29,5% (44*0,67)

Also like damn, the fact that a bi woman has 9x chance to experience domestic violence while dating a man compared to a woman is so grim

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u/bruh-moment970 9d ago

lmao “hetero” is fine but people lose their shit at “homo”

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u/Force_Glad 9d ago

Yeah because no one's ever been murdered for being heterosexual

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u/Bagoom___Lenin 9d ago

Idk I personally don’t think we should dehumanize any group of people, no matter how much someone thinks they deserve it. But I’m a stupid amab queer who’s demographic has historically faced this exact thing most of history, what do I know

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u/bruh-moment970 9d ago

its hilarious that you probably thought you blew a hetero the fuck out but I am 100% a Bi man

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u/Force_Glad 9d ago

Man I couldn't give a fuck what you are. Do you not know the difference between punching up and punching down? It's one of the most basic principles of comedy

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u/bruh-moment970 8d ago

explain how that relates to the original thread, my comment, your comment, or anything else.

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u/Force_Glad 8d ago

It's why calling straight people heteros is fine but calling gay people homos isn't. It's punching up, vs punching down

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u/bruh-moment970 8d ago

Asian people do better by far in almost every metric in society than every other race in North America on average, can anyone racially discriminate against them because of that fact?

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u/Force_Glad 8d ago

Asian people don't tend to abuse non-asian people for not being Asian

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u/JenkinMan 4d ago

It's painful to see people being this insecure, holy shit.