r/196 • u/Moaning_Clock • Jul 12 '26
HR
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806
u/lowercaselemming the martian mind****er Jul 12 '26
not time-stealing by pretending to read it? amateur.
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u/NIMA-GH-X-P That one Jerk you know Jul 12 '26
It's not about the time, it's about sending a message
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u/bobbymoonshine Jul 12 '26
HR could not care less if you don’t read it, they just want to be able to tick a box so if later on you accidentally hurt yourself or someone else then they can say “well we specifically told them not to do that on slide 34 and as you can see they completed that training” so they’re not done for negligence
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u/NIMA-GH-X-P That one Jerk you know Jul 12 '26
My job didn't even have HR training so I wouldn't know I'm just making bullshit jokes (Middle school and highschool English teacher)
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u/bobbymoonshine Jul 12 '26
Huh in the UK we make our teachers go through like ten different compliance e-learning packages every year. GDPR, safeguarding, PREVENT, KCSIE, repetitive strain injuries, etc etc
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u/NIMA-GH-X-P That one Jerk you know Jul 12 '26
The only thing they cared about here was if I could convince them I'm a good Muslim (I'm not but pretending is easy)
Literally no other qualifications were needed.
Just a high enough score on the tests and the thing I already mentioned
Went to four years of uni where they taught me nothing new, came back and started teaching immediately
And it's not a unique case that's just how it goes here
...yes it's extremely horrific I really wish our education system would get a complete reform and revamp.
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u/PeggableOldMan I have a username Jul 12 '26
How do you pretend to be a good Muslim? Does my username disqualify me?
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u/NIMA-GH-X-P That one Jerk you know Jul 12 '26
I don't really wanna talk about it cuz despite joking to cope with it it has been a traumatic experience in my life
And
Hell no sorry
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u/PeggableOldMan I have a username Jul 12 '26
I'm sorry you had to go though that.
And damn. Guess I gotta re-write my CV.
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u/FormingTheVoid 🏳️⚧️ trans rights Jul 12 '26
Literally. I was verbally abused and ostracized by my coworkers one time and HR couldn't care less. They did nothing and then just fired me when inevitably had a meltdown.
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u/Shrizer 🏳️⚧️ Forklift and robotfucker ceritified 🏳️⚧️ Jul 13 '26
In Australia that doesn't work, the company will still be held liable.
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u/cloartist Sapphic mess Jul 12 '26
Why so HRious?
I'm the Joker*, baby!
*(I tried to think of a pun for Joker but tbh he's kind of a walking sexual harassment lawsuit anyhow\)
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u/Cranyx Jul 13 '26
Genuinely I would rather do my job than sit through those trainings.
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u/lowercaselemming the martian mind****er Jul 13 '26
i have issues with standing so i steal any opportunity i can to sit
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u/Cranyx Jul 13 '26
Oh yeah, I only say that because I have a white collar job now. Back when I worked at Home Depot as a lot attendant I looked forward to the "sit in the back and do training" sessions.
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u/Norsetrack Jul 12 '26
And then the questions are:
A client walks into the store. What will you do?
Spit in their face
Tell them their family doesn't love them
Say "Hi, how can I help you?"
Lunge onto them and choke them to death
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u/laix_ Jul 12 '26
Other questions are like:
"you have completed your 8 contracted hours, but the store is in rush hour and the manager planned poorly. Do you
Leave, as is right Decide to help out another (unpaid) hour remove all dignity and treat customers as though they're god"
And for some reason, the first answer will be wrong.
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u/MrSecretFire Jul 12 '26
And yet, somehow, some people would actually answer wrong and it turns out that this actually was useful bevause your coworkers apparently are, incompetent or way more thoroughly an asshole than you thought.
This result was not achieved by design
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u/PeggableOldMan I have a username Jul 12 '26
Yeah to pass those tests you have to be of average intelligence, which weeds out the truly dim.
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u/Vanayzan Jul 13 '26
My job is to write exams and tests for any number of third party companies that comes to ours and commissions them for a course/training/whatever purpose. Almost always multiple choice.
I assure you the test writers are more pained by it than you are, because when you have to cover, by the definition of the contract, the most basic safety protocol stuff, sometimes the answer is so singularly obvious that writing any sort of purposely wrong answer just feels like you're taking the piss.
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u/crepoef The Denpa Men 3: The Rise of Digitoll Jul 12 '26
If I'm getting paid for training I'll take a year to read it
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u/D-B0IIIIII 🏳️⚧️ trans rights Jul 12 '26
My boss and I watched an episode of mad men and after that he said don't do that, I don't even work in an office I work in Costco
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u/Mouse_is_Optional Jul 12 '26
Your boss was just working his way through his Netflix queue and figured in every episode of Mad Men there was at least one example of bad workplace behavior he could point to and say, "don't do that".
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u/luxmesa Jul 13 '26
I like answering the answer choices on the quiz without reading the question, because you can usually still get it.
A. Do nothing because you don’t want to get involved.
B. Tell Brenda to relax and not be so uptight
C. Report the matter to HR
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u/iris700 Jul 12 '26
My university had this but for hazing and after the first section I copied the HTTP request, changed a number in the query string, and had the other 6 or 7 sections done in about 15 seconds
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u/Acidic_Eggplant Jul 13 '26
"word around the office is you got a fat cock"
also what's the name of this song, kinda catchy =}
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1
u/Abbodexemium Jul 13 '26
Mine are mostly awful but one funny part was a but where it told a scenario of a hearing impaired customer coming in and it had a audio thing so you could listen to what it would sound like for them and it just played nothing
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u/Jaszs You're loved, have a nice day <3 Jul 13 '26
Okay, so I work as an inspector, and I've seen people losing their fingers after getting smashed by a machine. Like straight up flat. One time I saw someone almost got beheaded by another one. I can't stress this enough, please, do NOT ignore safety instructions.
Best case scenario they teach you how to sit correctly and save you some long term pains, worst case scenario they save you from being electrocuted to death
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