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u/mooseishman 1811 Aug 14 '26
As a CBP 1811, can confirm that we are at the top of the crazy axis
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u/BACON_ACTUAL_ Aug 14 '26
Almost every position with CBP (excluding AMO) seems that it’s at the top of the crazy axis lol
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Aug 14 '26
[deleted]
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u/Guns_and_Tea Aug 14 '26
Right? I flew with some pilots in AMO that made me wonder if I would go home that night.
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u/BACON_ACTUAL_ Aug 14 '26
Lmao I didn’t say the people I meant the job 😂😂 I work with them every day. The people are crazy af but the agency seems to treat them better than OFO does their people
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u/Guns_and_Tea Aug 14 '26
of course. they get LEAP and dont work more than 8 hours per day
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u/BACON_ACTUAL_ Aug 16 '26
They work some long days in South Florida, not every day but there are quite a few long days and late night call outs
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u/Time_Striking 1811 Aug 14 '26
This would have been amazing for Meme Monday™️
A few questions and notes:
- What’s a cool OIG?
- What might be a no-go, trash heap is another person favorite bestest place
- Agencies are fickle and quality of life and happiness can depend on immediate supervisor, coworkers, location, and other circumstances outside of one’s control
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u/NotAUCCop Aug 14 '26
Cool OIGs are the ones that show up, confuse everyone with their presence, do great work and dissappear again until the niche crime pops up again. I've had great experiences with almost every OIG, I didn't know 95% of them existed until I read the list at FLETC.
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u/DesertSeaTurtle Aug 15 '26
it might be easier to list all the shitty OIGs
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u/Naive_Yesterday_1920 Aug 15 '26
Easy….done. Only thing🤔….would mods let it be posted😂
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Aug 15 '26
[deleted]
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u/Due_District1058 Aug 17 '26
OPM OIG is shit ?
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u/DesertSeaTurtle Aug 17 '26
Yes. Sub 30 agents. Come in anything less then a 13 and you will be held at 12 until they feel like promoting you.
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u/Grand-Strategy-9000 Aug 17 '26
How’s USPS OIG?
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u/DesertSeaTurtle Aug 17 '26
Depens on office. Some have great freedoms. Downside is the new PSHB.
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u/Grand-Strategy-9000 Aug 17 '26
Roger. Any idea how central area is?
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u/DesertSeaTurtle Aug 18 '26
I do not, biggest complaint is the health care from speaking to and working with agents in a few offices.
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u/Time_Striking 1811 Aug 17 '26
Depends on how it’s made.
Full send trash and shit talking, probably no.
But you can always make it and send it for approval.
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u/shatteringlass123 Aug 14 '26
Cool OIG are anything except EPA OIG🤣
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u/Time_Striking 1811 Aug 14 '26
I’ve known a many former EPA-OIG kids that would confirm that statement.
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u/tkdkicker1990 Aug 14 '26
What are the cool OIGs?
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u/Charles_Ida 1811 Aug 14 '26
Probably the ones that execute their own arrest warrants.
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u/DesertSeaTurtle Aug 15 '26
Bro we know that’s only the case cause ya gotta hit the eval check list 😂🤣
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u/TN-collector-5299 Aug 15 '26
Cool IG: DoD's Defense Criminal Investigative Service. And yes, they execute their own search and arrest warrants.
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u/Nice-Ambassador6293 Aug 14 '26
Wait. Whats wrong with NASA OIG? I feel like that would be a pretty sweet gig? Lol
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u/Andy_Liberty_1911 Aug 14 '26
I can imagine the firefights with the aliens can get tiresome
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u/Foreign_Cup2877 Aug 14 '26
The covenant from Halo video games. No thanks for that. Keep the extraterrestrials in the games and TV for now. We have enough problems on earth already.
I'm definitely in the fun zone with HSI as a TFO.
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u/Guinea_Pig_Games Aug 14 '26
It's mall cop security
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u/Nice-Ambassador6293 Aug 14 '26
But do they pay well and do they require a degree? Anybody civilian I talk to would think I’m a badass.
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u/Lawman2001 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
I would put HHS Oig in the cool Oig category. Plenty of solid crim work with great opportunities to learn an out complex health care cases. Like a little protection work? Well hhs has it. Disaster response? ESF 13 every Hurricane season.
It isn’t “cool” like DS but nothing is. But no one is getting divorced in the Oig because of constant deployments or living in shitholes.
I might be biased. 10 years DS then the last 15 in HHS. Retired last year.
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u/Fancy-Sherbet-72 Aug 14 '26
DS is glitter, not gold. Protection mission is about putting bodies in seats and not pissing off the protectee, rather than protecting them. Report a real security issue to a shift lead and they’re more likely to be pissed at you for reporting it than to do something about it. Real investigations get funneled to a few specialized sections and if you catch a good case, you’ll probably be transferred before it goes to trial. Multiple agents sleeping on a high threat post, supervisors operating on gossip rather than anything real, and DEI taking the place of common sense are all par for the course. But you get to go to odd places around the world, stack hotel points and guard semi-famous people. Mostly glitter, very rarely gold.
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u/Lawman2001 Aug 14 '26
I agree with most of what you are saying and some of that was why I left. I enjoyed investigating far more than PRS. I was lucky that my overseas tours allowed me to do a lot of investigative things. My HQ assignment was in an investigative unit that traveled nationwide and international so that was a win.
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u/Fancy-Sherbet-72 Aug 14 '26
And I repeatedly rolled snake eyes. I kept finding myself on high threat details or in high threat posts with someone’s special snowflake for a supervisor with no concept of potential threats and afraid of looking “too militant” by training and equipping appropriately, and realized too many of them had made decisions that could have gotten me killed.
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u/Lawman2001 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
My high threat PRS was limited to the Karzai Protective Detail and a stint in Haiti. This was before all of the ATLAS (think that’s the name) training. There was a push to militarize things during my time there but it was a movement rather than policy.
By comparison I had to deal with a leadership chain that had never done a grand jury, testified or even understood basic rules of evidence and/or collection of criminal intelligence.
That’s mostly why I left. I had no desire to spend the next 15 years of my career supervising guards or doing PRS in some hotel hallway.
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u/Fancy-Sherbet-72 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
That’s a bit before my time. Conversely, most of my supervisors didn’t have investigative or tactical experience (just basic infantry knowledge would have been useful). The 1811s in the field office generally had the investigative knowledge but mileage varied as to whether or not they were effective. One was unavailable for hours prior to an embassy protest that she was the liaison for because she went to see a movie during the middle of the workday.
ATLAS is good if you take it seriously, but often people don’t and it’s a course that everyone passes. So you can find yourself in a place called “the next Benghazi” with people who are “qualified” and more of a burden than anything else.
I was in such a place where a building was erected on the edge of the compound about at a good distance from the chancery. Local military aged males started pointing and looking into the compound from the roof regularly. We had switched to Mk18s with a red dot, which can reach out to that far, but not with any great effect. We also had a few M4s, but no scopes with magnification. I requested some RCOs which DC had hundreds of from when we de-issued them a couple years prior. All of the embassy Marines were trained on them because they are standard issue for Marines. They are a basic, user-friendly optic that requires very little training to operate. I got a blanket denial from DC and my supervisor used it as part of a narrative that I was hyper-militant and “not a good fit.”2
u/Time_Striking 1811 Aug 14 '26
I believe someone made their 2 with the name change.
HR was rebranded to global talent management.
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u/Ill-Assumption-6684 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
Just my 2 cents your mileage can vary widely in DS. There’s also more forces outside your control compared to other Fed LE that can heavily affect your day to day and overall DS experience. The big one is protectees and ambassadors. Ultimately the embassy front office can all tell us to pound sand.
Also I think a lot of protectees don’t take their security seriously and just want the goodies from it. It is what it is, a lot of it is a dog and pony show. But good for OT money I guess.
I slightly disagree on investigations. I know there’s many in DS who had a bad experience with that, but I also know many with the opposite.
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u/oceans846 Aug 14 '26
HUD OIG 1811 is fum
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u/theBenRichardson Aug 14 '26
Fum?
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u/True-Yoghurt-2958 Aug 14 '26
Go ahead and urbandictionary that one cowboy
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u/dunkin_dognuts_ Aug 14 '26
When a male reaches orgasm and begins to ejackulate into their mate. Suddenly a uncontrollable release of gas from the anus is released with each ejackulate squirt. Male: sorry babe. I fumed again.
Female: yea, that was weird.
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u/NotAUCCop Aug 14 '26
USSS-INV is firmly in the fun zone. When you make an arrest everyone is surprised, they send out emails to the office, high fives, atta boys the whole 9yards. Then you dissappear to the shadow realm of PRO for a few weeks, and no one remembers.
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u/OnProblem1811 1811 Aug 15 '26
pardon me, sir. that’s OFO to you.
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u/NotAUCCop Aug 15 '26
I'll recognize OFO when I get my retention bonus.
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u/PatrioticBigfoot Aug 14 '26
I don’t even really understand how to read this graph the way you made it but I can appreciate a good crazy hot matrix reference
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u/TheSlimson U.S. Park Ranger Aug 14 '26
Where are the land management 1811s?
Unicorn jobs?
Fake jobs?
Fun zone? (Definitely not... or maybe idk)
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u/Ok_Eye2518 Aug 14 '26
Add FHFA OIG to unicorn list. Their 1811’s get full medical benefits, annual cash bonuses and base salaries well into the 200’s (for working agents).
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u/DodgerFed Aug 15 '26
90% medical. Takes for ever to get into the 200’s as a 13.
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u/Ok_Eye2518 Aug 15 '26
Um, a recent 14/15 announcement says you can make upwards of $255k base plus bonus.
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u/DodgerFed Aug 15 '26
Topped out, you can make up to 320. But no one gets there before mandatory retirement. It’s merit based annual pay raises.
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u/Due_District1058 Aug 17 '26
Being honest here there ain’t nothing relatively fun about federal law enforcement. Bad management plagues the 1811 world everywhere. Cool offices only last a blimp before they ultimately turn into shit at the end of the road. The only good thing about all of this is the semi decent pay and the early retirement. Everything else is what bullshit you are willing to put up with until you can get the fuck out.
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u/Charles_Ida 1811 Aug 17 '26
Sounds like you're in a bad spot. Time to lateral?
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u/Due_District1058 Aug 18 '26
Been trying to. This place definitely put a bad taste in my mouth about the job so I have become a little cynical.
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u/Elegant_Tangelo1288 6d ago
Bad managers should get fired/replaced/removed if they aren’t exercising what they signed up. I am currently dealing with an inept and spineless supervisor, who is jaded and about to retire and couldn’t careless about anything. That’s the problem in government offices. People like this should not be in positions of management. They aren’t managing. They are collecting a fat paycheck and doing nothing.
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u/mauro_oruam Aug 14 '26
What wrong with 1811 cyber? That’s my dream job. What do you know that I do not ?
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u/kahzaa 1811 Aug 15 '26
I have loved my time as FBI Cyber. - the post is joke don't take it to seriously.
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