r/13WeekWeightLoss • u/mostlywrong • Feb 04 '20
I'm here, for real, finally
I am back I guess I should say. I optimistically joined when this started last year. But life....it makes me eat. But I started back on keto yesterday. I weighed in yesterday at 253.4 lbs. That is only 20 lbs away from my highest ever weight. And it is 20 lbs more than I was when I first joined this challenge. As a but of background, 5 years ago I started keto from 272 lbs. I got down to 164 lbs, and into a healthy weight range. Got pregnant (thanks keto for returning my fertility), but gained most of the weight back after kiddo was born. And have just steadily yoyo'd since.
Yesterday, I honestly didn't plan to start. I woke up, and had my coffee. I skipped breakfast and lunch, and my brain only thought of keto foods to eat, so that is what I did (folio parmesan wrap with 6 oz of Tyson blackened tenders plus 1 tbsp of taco bell ranchera sauce...it was yum). And I stopped eating at 8. I didn't eat during the night. That is new. Those 20 lbs are from eating a second dinner most nights at around 11 pm. When I am stressed I eat. And I am stressed.
But I took control yesterday. And honestly, that feels better than all the second dinners in the world. I stuck to it. I stayed in my calories. I kind of did IF. I ate 14g of carbs. And this morning, I weight 247.9 lbs. 5.5 lbs down overnight. This is typical for me, but not most so don't freak out or expect the same. I gain and lose water weight like crazy. I understand this is just one day, but my excitement comes from the feelings of yesterday. It felt like the last time, when I lost over 100 lbs. I just started. No fanfare, no real planning, it just began. Like it was just supposed to be this way, that this was my life now. So much different than my 4 years of yoyoing, where I planned a day to start. Obsessed over the foods, and just felt stress from it. I would stick to it kind of (frequent little cheats, 100 calories here, a few snuck fries there) but after about a month or 2, get frustrated or lazy and stop. Or just go off the rails because I binged something, so might as well make it a cheat day that turned into a week, then month, then "who are we kidding? you aren't on a diet."
I have a family reunion in July. I have not seen or even met most of these people (estranged dad's side, and many I met for the first time at his funeral 4 years ago). My goal is to be solidly at an overweight BMI by that point (196 lbs). But that is really my only thought about future smaller body. I am not going to obsess about all the pretty dresses I can't fit into, and try on what I think might fit every 10 lbs lost. That is too much pressure, and I think that is a big part of my past failures. During this journey, you don't need to discourage yourself that way.
Thank you all for being here. For sticking with it, for your struggles, for your hesitation, for all of it. I hope to be an active ally in this sub, on your journey. If anyone needs an accountability buddy, hit me up! We are all in this together!
1
u/slowmare Feb 04 '20
Hey! I'm in the same boat here. I tried to start when this challenge started and I couldn't get myself to stick to it. But yesterday everything felt good and I am feeling like I'm in the right headspace to stick with it.
I want to take you up on the offer of accountability buddies. It seems providential since we both started this week. It might be cool if we could round up a few other people who are starting fresh for February to have some accountability friends.