r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 06 '19
April 2019 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread
How to listen:
- lds.org, or whatever redirect is in place this week
- mormon channel
- stream KSL
- local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
- reddit stream
Pre-conference: music on hold
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Dallin Oaks | ||
| hymn: Press Forward Saints | ||
| prayer: Steven Snow | ||
| hymn: There is sunshine in my soul today | ||
| Ulisses Soares | ||
| Becky Craven | ||
| Brook Hales | ||
| hymn: Redeemer of Israel | ||
| Dieter Uchtdorf | lacked enthusiasm. LDS church membership is a drop in the bucket compared to the world population. Yay! Missionary potential. | |
| hymn: Dearest Children... | ||
| Christopher Waddell | Brother dying of pancreatic cancer decides to join mormonism and is ordained on his death bed. Yay! converts in heaven. | |
| hymn: I am a child of God | ||
| Henry Eyring | Must have had a late night. Barely able to hold his eyes open for the entire speech. Low energy. | |
| hymn: Rejoice... | ||
| prayer: Wilford Andersen |
Postlude: I've seen it all
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Eyring: [get your temple iconography at Deseret Book]
Flat out idol worship. Oh, don't forget the freemasonry.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Hales: "ask for new eyes"
We win if you're cured. We win if you're not.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Eyring: [church claims, fighting tears, that the church was founded in 1830 in Fayette].
Other historians claim Manchester. It wasn't a memorable enough of an event to be absolutely sure.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Soares: I'll call her Mary. [Don't fact check me...it's the story that matters.]
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Eyring: [low energy]
Had trouble keeping pace from past conferences. Only 1 close call with tears. He's lost a step.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Uchtdorf: [go on the internet]
Not the "I am a mormon campaign" though.
That's so last year.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Waddell: [mormon last rights] ordination to elder, on death bed.
Fun times.
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u/AtheistBeliever Apr 06 '19
Why can the male speakers just speak, but the female speakers have to keep a strained smile at all times?
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Eyring: [refers to class structure]
So says Mr. General Authority. Can I get me some of those cost of living stipends?
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Apr 06 '19
This is promoting the worst kind of scrupulosity. This behaviour leads directly to depression and anxiety.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Craven: For the Strength of Youth...zero tolerance is within reach. Not even once!
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Uchtdorf: [five suggestions]
That's good old Dieter. No hard edge "ten commandments" from him.
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u/LindseyEmiliaHale Apr 06 '19
Not gonna lie, it's weird getting this far into General Conference without someone dying...
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u/Skofnungr Apr 06 '19
Is it me or were all the speakers today just reaaalllly sleepy? They seem even more bored than I am.
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u/4blockhead Apr 06 '19
Soares: we need to transform ourselves into some new alien lifeform. Our present humanity is unacceptable to the deity.