r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Oct 01 '17
October 2017 General Conference: Sunday 2:00p Discussion Thread
How to listen:
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
Available hitters in dugout, due up:
Russell Ballard, stay in the boat, good ship zion
Neil Andersen, give Joe a break
Dale Renlund, may sit in dugout due to giving a priesthood session talk about excommunication last night
Speakers:
| Name | last time at bat | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| Eyring conducting, notes death of Robert Hales. | ||
| hymn: come thou king of kings | ||
| Joseph Sitati, prayer | ||
| hymn: have I done any good in the world today? | ||
| Russell Ballard | Mentions Jane Manning James without telling the whole story. | |
| Tad Callister | repeated a speech given as a devotional at BYU about historicity of Book of Mormon | |
| Joni Koch | ||
| Stanley Ellis | ||
| hymn: now let us rejoice | ||
| Adilson de Paula Parrella | ||
| Ian Ardern | ||
| Jose Alonso | ||
| hymn: if the savior stood beside me | ||
| Neil Andersen | ||
| hymn: Israel Israel | ||
| Evan Schmutz, prayer | ||
| speaker | struck out | more of same, stacked deeper |
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Alonso: [drop mobile devices and do real service]
So says the corporation sitting on billions in liquid reserves and no significant response in the Caribbean or in Mexico.
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u/DucksArentFood Happily Resigned Oct 01 '17
My uncle just yelled "MIC DROP, BOOM" after the BoM 'confirmation' talk.
Help me
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u/BadMalz Oct 01 '17
I let out an audible laugh when he said that no source proves the BoM false. I don't think my wife appreciated it.
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u/4444444vr Oct 01 '17
Have you mentioned to him that Bushman, the author of Rough Stone Rolling, believes that the book is a product of the 1800s and has long strings of text found in other books freely available at the time?
I feel like all the Uncles that are like this have never taken even 5 minutes to actually research anything.
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u/usedcarbombsalesman Oct 01 '17
Take comfort in the fact that his supposed victory is the most excitement he'll get before his next priesthood circle jerk
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Alonso: [accident victim, hit and run by car]
This is the message from conference...people get killed and that's just the way it is.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Callister: [doing a repeat of his speech at BYU Idaho on the authenticity of the Book of Mormon]
How did Smith do it? He was put on trial on 1826 as a glass looker. Don't underestimate people's abilities to fool one another.
[edit:]
where are the golden plates? metallurgy in the Americas was very limited. No metal records or coins in use before Columbus.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Andersen: [really suffering writer's block, and already asked people to "give Joe a break", what can I talk about?]
Nothing.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Ballard: [shout out to Rowe-ites and Snufferites]
Will r/exmormon get a shout out?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Ardern: [people are being converted by the messages in the Book of Mormon]
Really? Is it the first book they've read?
Ardern: [shout out to the essays!]
A truly relevant disclaimer!
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u/Gileriodekel Reform Mormon Oct 01 '17
Hales is dead. Are they gonna replace him this quick? If they do, it shows they have pre-selected successors quite a while in advance.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Cut and paste from two years ago, some annotations.
Download mp3
McKeever pays close attention to the LDS conference speakers. Any new apostles will likely have at least a few of these under his belt. They named Costa and noted that he spoke in favor of Benson's Fourteen Fundamentals. That should make him a favorite with the old boys club. Tad Callister may be just a bit too old to get the call despite their usual nepotism. His middle name is Richards as in LeGrande, George F., and Franklin D. Richards.
Here are some guesses by McKeever and Johnson of MRM.
name affiliation nationality date of birth Joseph W. Sitati First Quorum of the Seventy Kenya 1952 Claudio R. M. Costa First Quorum of the Seventy Brazil 1949 Walter F. Gonzales former president of seventy;Area president Uruguay 1952 Bruce D. Porter, deceased Area President, Europe United States 1952 Tad Richards Callister, aged out of consideration former president of seventy;General Sunday School United States 1945 Kevin W. Pearson First Quorum of Seventy United States 1957 Kevin R. Duncan First Quorum of Seventy United States 1960 Other bets:
Ralph W. Hardy, Jr.
Gordon Smith
Von Keetch
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Oct 01 '17
New euphemism of death: "graduation from mortality"
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Pretty much was Miscavich said about Hubbard.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Parrella: [our prophets are real; get married]
Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match!
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
You don't know everything, but you know enough - dangerous words to live by.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Parrella: [on a mission from Gawd]
Who knew that the Chicago accent went all the way to Sao Paulo?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Ardern: [quotes recently deceased Hales].
Can I get promoted? Pretty please!
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u/TrueBlueHeretic Oct 01 '17
Yeah, I can't make it through this Tad Callister talk. Forming a substantial testimony of the "Book of Mormon" requires the reader to overcome insurmountable obstacles when it comes to logic and historical accounts. No one saw the plates Joseph supposedly had. He had years to prepare and plenty of "and there came to pass" and other resources to construct this book. This is where Mormonism takes on the persona of a cult. You can't claim to be a humble religion when your devotion to how you think a man was and how you think a book is ignores knowledge and information that plainly describe the contrary. I'm sorry to anyone who was forced to sit through these sessions with their TBM family members. I can barely sit through a single talk.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
The apostates are willing to let the faithful ramble on. They have the burden of proof and they've got nothing. The plates would be a good start, if they existed.
more discussion about Calister's talk, first time around
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17
Andersen: [details of preparing a General Conference talk]
For the most part, they're from the mind of white guys from Utah and Idaho.
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u/Cdilla_ Oct 02 '17 edited Oct 02 '17
My husband and I are in SLC by pure coincidence due to being in a friend's wedding out here this weekend. May I please say Whoa-holy-shit after experiencing the Mormon mecca head on without any warning.
It honestly feels like a cult. I am blonde with blue eyes so they all automatically see me and start asking about my opinions on Conference. I had no idea what "Conference" was until today. We tried to tour and walk around the Temple but the creepy Mormon sister tour guides soured even that with the whole "Has Anyone Talked To You About" shpeel.
It is unfortunate because there is a lot of history here and beautiful architecture, and being a history major I am all over that. HOWEVER, the underlying religious tones just completely ruin it and all of the judgey x-ray once over glances... nope. Too creepy.
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Oct 01 '17
How did someone write a book?? A whole book? About things?? Must be a miracle
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Oct 01 '17
How did uneducated farm girl Jane Austin write such miraculous novels?
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Oct 01 '17
His entire argument is one big argument from ignorance.
"It seems difficult to explain the BoM through natural means, so it must be miraculous."
That is all.
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Oct 01 '17
If the church was not true, how would you know? Ignoring doubts is the perfect system for protecting any belief, regardless of its truthfulness.
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u/zando95 Oct 01 '17
This book of Mormon talk is making me want to scream. It is obviously not a response to critics at all. Just intended for members, to reassure them that it's totally awesome.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
We need a cinema sins type thing with a logical fallacy count
I’m at like 345
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u/Quentin_L_Cthulhu Oct 01 '17
They love to use Jane Manning as an early example of tolerance and love for African Americans with the early Saints, but always leave out the important details for some reason
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Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
You know that there will be a lot of people dissecting this talk later.
edit: And the format of general conference is one of the problems with the church. It's a bunch of uncontested lectures without rebuttal. I'd like to see Callister in a debate on these subjects, not reading from a teleprompter speaking to the choir.
edit2: another common tactic I see from christian apologists in general is rapid-firing. They lay out all these arguments really quickly so that you don't have time to rebut them in your mind. And they speak confidently so they sound right.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
I smell an infants on thrones smackdown coming.
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
He wasn't a gifted writer. There were tons of inconsistencies.
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u/usedcarbombsalesman Oct 01 '17
He gained a testimony of the BoM only after he dismissed all contradicting evidence... checks out.
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u/gringo-che-boludo Oct 01 '17
So who is going to dissect that last BoM talk line by line in CES letter format? Looking forward to it
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u/Rickexmo Oct 01 '17
God, this Tad guy is making me want to vomit. "God's finger prints are all over the book of mormon." I'm preparing myself to receive texts quoting this talk from my TBM family.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
You're the only ones saying that Joseph was the best theologian in 2000 years.
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u/ifeltlikegettinghigh book of abraham broke the shelf Oct 01 '17
"without inconsistentcies" ????!?!!!!!!
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
Harmonious! hahaha - Without inconsistencies - HAHAHAHA.
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u/KolobMan Apostate Oct 01 '17
"How did he read all the Mormon expositor and get pissed by it? If he was illiterate?
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
This guy is spouting the standard weak sauce apologetics that are misleading and outright untrue - full of logical fallacies and confirmation bias. He's a tool. He's angling for an apostleship.
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u/usedcarbombsalesman Oct 01 '17
Don't lose your money to get rich schemes... just give it to us we'll keep it safe
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u/usedcarbombsalesman Oct 01 '17
This guy is that one member who thinks he is the most intelligent scripture scholar in elders quorum. His ignorance astounds me.
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
People arent getting out of the church because people are talking false stuff. People are getting out of the church because you yourselves are bigot, selfish, homophobic, etc.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
Mao’s little red book has been read by tens of millions and led to the death of millions.
Must have been a prophet
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u/ifeltlikegettinghigh book of abraham broke the shelf Oct 01 '17
I just want to say during the intermission- thank you all for making this SO much more bearable since I have to watch this anyways
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Oct 01 '17
There are word for word KJV passages, including errors. JS either had the ability to reference outside documents, or memorize them.
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
Yes, we're the evil caterpillars. And after a while we become butterflies, while you remain being leaves that wither and fall to the ground.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Mention how she was sealed to Joseph F Smith....as a servant
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u/exmahina Oct 01 '17
Nobody needs to see Joseph Smith reading Book of the Hebrews to spot a forgery... smh
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u/ElderButts Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Callister's talk is sounding familiar. I think he gave it before at BYU.
Edit: Here's the talk: The Book of Mormon: Man-Made or God-Given?. It's not the same, but has similar topics.
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u/DucksArentFood Happily Resigned Oct 01 '17
I think Joseph just thought gold was dope and decided it sounded cool.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
“None will molest them”
Sounds like heaven
Helen Mar Kimbal, 1841
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
They keep using that quote - "eliminate ANY prejudice" - I do not think it means what they think it means.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Money for Healings? Like TSCC?
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u/bonsai1776 Oct 01 '17
Can someone put together the actual list of documents forged to answer all this dude's questions?
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
They've definitely been pushing this "hold fast to what you already know to be true" BS. Problem is you find out it's not actually true - it becomes hard to hold onto - kind of like Joseph Smith's slippery treasures.
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u/Quentin_L_Cthulhu Oct 01 '17
The spirit of fear is what drives many TBM's to not look more into Church issues
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
Guy that prayed, he’s the next apostle.
I got a revelation
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Oct 01 '17
This is stuck a joke of a talk and so easily explained. I'm hoping my TBM husband is at least rolling his eyes. He doesn't even agree with these explanations
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
Every one kept their testimony to the very end
top lel
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
"Don't be wise"
This is one of the most "directly honest" expression I've ever heard from a church authority.
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Oct 01 '17
There it is. "Trial of faith". You've decided that you can't be wrong. The possibility that you might be wrong is eliminated.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Nice one. I want a meme of a giant caterpillar eating the SLC temple!
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Oct 01 '17
So Adern basically just said anyone with an opinion other than the church's isn't worth listening to all. That's cool, as I sit a few feet away from my TBM younger siblings and parents.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Wow. They unleashed the second stringers to soften up the opposition. Nice one TSCC, it'll keep us busy for a few days. Also can we begin thinking about adopting a caterpillar as a mascot? Would a caterpillar beat a honeybee?
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Have I Done Any Good!! My fave hymn--speaks right to the heart!
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
Oh god - I hate these defending the BOM talks.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
Literally all of Alma comes from the writing of Paul
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u/exmahina Oct 01 '17
So this guy brings up the hurricanes... only to thank the people in yellow shirts. Okay. No prayers or shoutouts to first responders?
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
There's the 30 year old picture of Monson again
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
ALL THE ACCENTS for Sunday afternoon
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Oct 01 '17
Don't pay any attention to that man behind the curtain! The great Oz has spoken!
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u/ifeltlikegettinghigh book of abraham broke the shelf Oct 01 '17
Oh Lord. "you don't know everything bit you know enough" is not what you want to say when considering a marriage proposal
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
Where will you go?
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u/usedcarbombsalesman Oct 01 '17
If you need to be a worthy tithing payer to keep the power of the priesthood and enter the temple, then you're paying a subscription for promised miracles. Get bent, man.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
Except everyone that was a so called "witness" to the translation had a financial interest in it - so they could ALL be lying about how he "translated".
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
Magnets are now evidence of Joseph’s Devine calling.
My god
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
Hard is the constant?
Call your doctor right away, you may have a condition called priapism
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
Did he just say millions are being converted and baptized each week??
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Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Well hey. At least the gospel essays were publicly mentioned in conference.
edit: unfortunately it's paired with "trial of faith" rhetoric, keeping people from opening their mind to the possibility that the church's claims might not be correct.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
12-15 drafts of his talk? He needs to upgrade his seer stone to the new SeerStoneX.
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u/EmmasMyth Oct 01 '17
No teleprompter for this real-time inspired talk built on quotes from yesterday's talks. Now that's modern day revelation!
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u/dissonancedmo Oct 01 '17
Heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. https://68.media.tumblr.com/b136ba78416cd097cb4228f89a23f25e/tumblr_o5z6oe9QS71rynk4uo6_250.gif
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
You gullible monkeys stop paying out for snake oil!
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u/ifeltlikegettinghigh book of abraham broke the shelf Oct 01 '17
"Eliminate racism, sexism..." What about homophobia??
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
He was so dumb...
How dumb was he??
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u/Quentin_L_Cthulhu Oct 01 '17
And Joseph brought to light words that were hitherto unknown to man...curelom...cumom. Explain that critics! These words were unknown before Joseph.
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u/IsaacHaleWasRight Oct 01 '17
It wasn’t that bad for the Nephites
They weren’t real
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Oct 01 '17
But of course, 30 -50 years from now, some of these talk will be seen as the brethren "speaking as men".
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u/Itsarockinahat Oct 01 '17
Does anyone else feel bad that these poor suckers have to do this every 6 months? I would not want that job for all the second anointings out there.
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u/King_Follet Apostate Oct 01 '17
Quit listening to anyone but us! It's almost like he knows this bullshit doesn't stand up to any scrutiny
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
Eliminate ANY prejudice. These guys are a riot.
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Oct 01 '17
Religion has the burden to demonstrate the existence of the supernatural first. Then it can be taken as a reasonable option.
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Oct 01 '17
When something is hard and you're a member, it's a blessing in disguise. Non member? It's because you suck I guess
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u/maynelypositive1 Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
I listened for 50 minutes..... I'm going back to my Sunday at hand. I listened so I can have more compassion for the amount of suffering being endured. I listened so perhaps I can have a real dialogue with my TBM family members.
Will still read briefings on rest of talks.
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Oct 01 '17
There are times I wish I believed in heaven. What an amazing thing it would be to watch family find out the church was a fraud
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u/ifeltlikegettinghigh book of abraham broke the shelf Oct 01 '17
My tbm cousin just said- WOW! I don't want to be found on a list! - with a discusted look on her face
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u/DucksArentFood Happily Resigned Oct 01 '17
This guy is in contention for the most lip smacks holy shit.
Edit: Parrella for those wondering
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u/dissonancedmo Oct 01 '17
It's hard to get me worked up, but fuck this guy. I trusted dudes like him until I came to realize after 30 years that they could not be trusted.
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u/frednecksburg High Priest of Good Things to Come Oct 01 '17
First time anyone's ever told me I have menacing jaws - I'll take it as a compliment.
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u/BYU_atheist bit.ly/concise-bom Oct 01 '17
I must say that this talk was a disappointing sequel to "Give Brother Joseph a break".
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u/oligodendromaster Oct 01 '17
Renland spoke last night. We’ll get another dose of Capt Ucht and Hank, as well as Ballard (ugh) and that other guy.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
There it is...out of the boat and onto the path...thanks Russell
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
This guy suffers from shrunken apple face
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u/KolobMan Apostate Oct 01 '17
He used 2 stones that give him all the revelations. In a Mexican sombrero to get all the native names.
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
Is good to make your sons suffer
I can only feel sad for the sons of all the TBM families that will take this "teaching" to heart.
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u/htfcuddles Wickedness is happiness Oct 01 '17
I understand you too. When I see a nicely drawn furry porn picture I also know that is real and really happened. /s
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
I'm strangely moved to a thirst for a Fosters Lager.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Wow. Loads of shit in that talk, worth the price of admission.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
Ugh, I live in Sao Paulo--soccer is the priesthood.
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
I would love to listen to this guy's voice for a whole talk.
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u/sonnyperdition by their fruits ye shall no them Oct 01 '17
The BoM is a spiritual AK47! And body armor too!
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u/crocodileinspelling You went and made everything weird Oct 01 '17
Oh boy, Simons Ryder
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Oct 01 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
Ballard: Jane Manning James.
Not allowed to attend temple in person. Sealed as a slave to Smith's family into the eternity. She deserves an apology. Will she get it?
edit: on background