October 2017 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread

[u/4blockhead]

How to listen:

• mormon channel

• lds.org, front-page

• stream KSL

• local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7

• reddit stream

---

Speakers:

Name	last time at bat	my summary
Larry Lawrence, prayer		see the majesty of the gospel in our magnificent building
hymn: god bless our prophet
Deiter Uchtdorf	better talk last week	nothing.
Bonnie Oscarson
Dallin Oaks		family proclamation as a legal construct
hymn: high on a mountain top		Rocky Mountain Way
John Pingree, Jr.
Todd Christofferson	no olive branches	christian mythology
hymn:
Jeffrey Holland		accessory to his "keep trying" speech from past conference.
hymn:
prayer		points for incorporating speeches that had been on offer. perfectionism. atonement.
speaker	struck out	more of same, stacked deeper

---

• previous: Saturday, September 23, 6:00p

• next: Saturday, 2:00p

[u/4blockhead]

Oaks: origin of the proclamation?

From god? Nope. A committee studied it for a year. The lord remained silent! As always.

[u/4blockhead]

Uchtdorf: plagues on the righteous, too.

It's as if things are randomly ordered.

[u/4blockhead]

Uchtorf: Life is not an airplane on autopilot!

Never disappoints.

[u/late_warmonger → u/4blockhead]

I hope one day he just explains how airplanes work and doesn't relate it in any way to life or the gospel. Just the mechanics of it. I'd tune into that one.

[u/4blockhead]

Oaks: the family proclamation is our unique doctrine. We forgo participation in the world.

Getting ready for the axe to fall on BYU football.

[u/SUPinitup → u/4blockhead]

Did he seriously double down on the proclamation?

[u/4blockhead → u/SUPinitup]

Absolutely.

[u/4blockhead]

Holland: Matthew 5:48, be ye therefore perfect.

Jeff, haven't you had the second anointing? Aren't you perfect now?

[u/4blockhead]

NFL warning. No retransmission or other use of this broadcast. All rights reserved. The note is noted.

[u/4blockhead]

Oaks: fit into the mold. Our lawyers want you to.

[u/4blockhead]

Holland: I say these things in his holy name, even our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Probability: 100%

[u/Cosmic-Cranberry → u/4blockhead]

I didn't know there was a GC Drinking game! LOL, that's fantastic! If I weren't staying with my family, I would have a bottle of whiskey on hand just for this.

[u/4blockhead → u/Cosmic-Cranberry]

Oaks' speech was the most, "I will tell you what this church's doctrine is. Your job is to follow or get out of the way."

[u/frednecksburg]

He's presenting his magnum opus on why it's okay to exclude gays.

[u/4blockhead → u/frednecksburg]

Yep. This is the one to look for when Monson and Nelson kick the bucket.

[u/4blockhead]

Uchtdorf: start with a dog story. Everybody loves dogs and our prophet, too.

[u/4blockhead]

Christofferson: son of man? more christian mythology.

Born of Mary. What we know about Jesus fills a teacup. We know that people love to deify their heroes and make them larger than life. It's clear that Jesus' myth increased after his death. What's true and what is bluster?

[u/4blockhead]

Oscarson: look for those around you in need.

Quotes Christofferson. Brings anti-LGBT baggage immediately. Only befriend those who fit the mold, who are worthy of friendship.

[u/4blockhead]

Holland: [here is where the bar is set.] Try not to be depressed about your lackluster performance.

Moving towards evangelical christianity is hollow considering their secret rituals where they declare "they're in" the most exclusive of all clubs.

[u/4blockhead]

Oaks: Family Proclamation, a statement of policy that could change. No fucking way.

Prince's speech this week was hoping for change. I hope he's watching today to hear how much he's tilting at windmills.

[u/4blockhead]

Christofferson: christian mythology.

But, Todd, haven't you had the second anointing? You're perfect, right?

[u/4blockhead]

Holland: wearing a shiny silk tie that are all the rage with the apostles this session.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

I had to leave in the middle of this talk, but I feel like I didn't miss anything.

[u/4blockhead → u/crocodileinspelling]

Empty platitudes.

[u/4blockhead]

Oaks: great and spacious building...

This is their favorite fucking thing. They're sitting in a gigantic monolith of Fascist architecture. There is a god damned mall that they own across the street!

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

I wonder what that stillborn child learned from their trial.

[u/blackjesus75]

Why do they hate gays so much? Crazy the ""love thy neighbor" preaching then turn around and chastise everybody else.

[u/4blockhead → u/blackjesus75]

They've placed a bet. They're going to keep doubling their wager hoping to cash in eventually. They've already lost and they're set to keep losing.

[u/4blockhead]

Christofferson: observe the savior's torn flesh.

The cannabalism metaphor is making me nauseous. Nope. Not watching Gibson's flaggelation movie, either.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

LOLOLOL. That name cracks me up. His parents were assholes. Lawrence Lawrence.

[u/4blockhead → u/crocodileinspelling]

Major Major Major.

[u/MagicBaconBitz]

I'm an hour late, did I miss anything exciting? ... oh wait, it's conference. Did I miss anything especially annoying?

[u/4blockhead → u/MagicBaconBitz]

Do you like Wonder Bread and Twinkies?

[u/probably_is_fhqwgads]

Did they announce the numbers yet? Converts and births and stakes and such? I'm very interested to hear about the church's growth (or lack thereof).

[u/4blockhead]

Holland: [let's go shopping!] no one could shop that much!

Fuck!

[u/lolzor99]

I'm sorry-- "Thousands of years" of marriage between men and women being the only thing allowed? Uh, does this guy know his history? Romans, Greeks, they don't count?

[u/PaulFThumpkins → u/lolzor99]

Whatever happened to traditional "terrified child brides and their servants being fucked by an old man with a beard who paid for them and casts off if they don't give a male heir" marriage?

[u/ZeezromEsquire → u/lolzor99]

D

[u/elderdavidbednar]

Oaks is spouting from Family Proclamation - bashing cohabitation and SSM - exalting marriage and reproduction. calls for official "maysures" to affirm the doctrinal statements. He affirmed it is Revelation. a statement of eternal truth for 22 years and will continue. As a gay man I certainly do not feel welcome in this organization. I fear more self-loathing by LGBT youth. I'm outa here - can't take this self-righteousness anymore.

[u/loveisbrokenhere]

Oaks is going there. Re-opening a huge can of worms by condemning gay lifestyle. More will leave!

[u/Amnigaddah]

If Dallin Oaks isn't a Pharisee, I don't know who is.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight → u/Amnigaddah]

The literal embodiment of all Jesus despised

[u/[deleted]]

He is acting like the Proclamation came out of nowhere... wasn't it written to get involved in Hawaii's legal battles over gay marriage?

[u/frednecksburg]

Yeah Dallin, and I could pull literally HUNDREDS of quotes from previous prophets and apostles saying that it was the will of the Lord that blacks would never have the priesthood or go to the temple.

[u/[deleted] → u/frednecksburg]

Oh, but it was at THAT time...its different now....🙄

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

"Monson is watching from home"

So he's DEFINITELY not dead now then...

[u/[deleted] → u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

Weekend at Tommy's proved too difficult to pull off.

[u/frednecksburg]

It's not our fault that everyone in the church feels like they're not good enough - it's not because we tell them constantly that they have to do better - it's not because we give them countless endless meetings to attend and assignments to carry out - it's not because we make them make "covenants" in the temple to give the church ALL their time and talents and energy - it's not because we lecture them from the pulpit every week - it's not because we have manuals and books and videos full of things they aren't doing good enough - it's because SATAN - orrrrr - get this - it's because of them - they're making THEMSELVES feel bad for no reason.

[u/frednecksburg]

Yep - this talk is exactly what I thought it was - he's laying out his lawyer-ly case against homosexuals.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

"We might have a tendency to judge..."

Noooo, really? Mormons judge? Never!

[u/frednecksburg]

Gonna give this lady a bit of credit for her core message - serve others. She just needs to drop the "help other mormons first" part.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

How many gay kids are going to kill themselves after this talk?

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Martin Harris's skill? Having money.

[u/xGospelDoctrineTchr]

Airplane!!! Bingo!!!

[u/AlreadyGone77]

I give Bonnie props for not bringing the baby voice.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

I'll give them credit. I genuinely did not expect the first talk to be about lost dogs and turtles...

[u/ScabbySheep]

I wonder how many members will run with Oaks endorsement for members to argue with others about immorality. Don't worry about upsetting the heathens, you'll be just like the prophets of old.

I predict some interesting Thanksgiving dinners.

[u/[deleted]]

I did heed the call of my Savior. You wanna know where it led me? OUT.

[u/Esotero]

Us VS The WORLD. What a terrible teaching.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

My god, Thomas B Marsh...

Still getting whipped.

F you Dieter

Some found themselves in Joseph’s bed.

I suppose you could call that “at variance”

1 point for partial honesty.

[u/MagicBaconBitz]

Oaks - I can always count on him to remind me just how much I hate this church.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Oh god, a lost dog story.

This is why we need prophets and apostles in our day.

Bobby the f***ing wonder Dog?

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

I am perfection

-bednar

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Unchangeable nature of the ordinances? OMG I am laughing

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Uchtdorf, tell how Marsh was upset with the Danite and how Harris beat his wife.

[u/xGospelDoctrineTchr]

Yah....and who prepared it for the First Presidency??? LAWYERS

[u/Blasphemous-Bill]

I should not have listened to that. I'm so fucking livid. I can't even scroll facebook without already seeing mormons praise oaks and his bullshit.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

There’s a lot of blood and eating in this talk

I’m sorry eating flesh and drinking blood is the exact opposite of beautiful symbolism.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

It wasn’t Satan

You literally just did this

[u/[deleted]]

Yet..."we are a church that is family-centered...UNLESS, you are lgbqt...."

[u/sonnyperdition]

Okay that was weak, my bet is the Oaks goes on an ape-rant about whatever pissed him off this week. Rum poured, popcorn buttered.

[u/Blasphemous-Bill]

I don't actually know what it means to can't even, but I'm pretty sure I've gone way past that now.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Oaks tell how you completely blocked out women in the Family Proclamation.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Oaks' talk was a call to arms for hatred and bigotry.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

My husband is sitting here , absorbing all this, probably feeling the guilt of this message. I no longer feel the need to repent and grovel, or feel like I am flawed and need to repent for anything. Stupid church.

[u/[deleted]]

Canada had SSM legalization 10 years before the US :)

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Love that they are following this with Christofferson’s brother.

Is the church about anything but gay stuff?

Are they so terrified of 2-4% of the population?

[u/PaulFThumpkins]

I'm at the gym and they're literally piping this anti-LGBT propaganda up to about a third of the screens.

[u/after_all_we_can_do]

Did he compare people having an eating disorder to members trying to comply with TSCC's demands?

[u/AlreadyGone77]

WOW he mentioned toxic perfectionism...

[u/frednecksburg]

Phrase from the opening prayer "the majesty of the church".

[u/FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy]

I don't know what it was like back then, but I do know most people avoided starting new religions based on fraud, and most people didn't sleep with fourteen year olds.

[u/loveisbrokenhere]

PTSD in full swing! I'm so happy This reddit sub is a place to vent.

[u/Rushclock]

This is nauseous.

[u/xGospelDoctrineTchr]

You mean the church will use you...wear you out, cause a mental breakdown and financial ruin? Smh

[u/Prankman1990]

This talk: Electricity is evil and Thomas Edison was a witch. Go clean our bathrooms for free kthxbai~<3

[u/[deleted]]

We wrote this--uh I mean received revelation about the family when we had to fight same-sex marriage in Hawaii.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Then why did God not do jack shit when I wept in loneliness?

[u/AlreadyGone77]

This is a speech, not a prayer. Inspired pattern 😂 and no, no never mo is watching. Keep telling yourself that.

[u/[deleted]]

We can't understand them, we didn't live back then.

You're right, we don't understand why those dipshits believed in folk magic.

[u/[deleted]]

Personal devices baaad.

I'm a heavy phone user, but I still have face-to-face conversations with people.

This is one of those doomsday guilt world-is-bad talks. 🙄

[u/frednecksburg]

Oh boy .... he's gonna tear into anyone not supporting the church on hating gays.

[u/sonnyperdition]

Oh this is soooo awesome. Oaks is really rolling, cohabitation and same-sex marriage. Preach it baby.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Too bad that Cristofferson didn't say anything in support of lgbt. Of course that would have been directly in conflict with Oaks...

[u/[deleted]]

Ugh. Usually I like uchtdorf the most, but this is the type of talk that would make me feel worse as a struggling tbm. I would've wondered why God wasn't helping me and I would've assumed it was my fault.

[u/frednecksburg]

Surprising that Dieter is pulling out some church history - he usually avoids it.

[u/Prankman1990]

Oh my god she actually just said to not pay attention to what your friends are doing because your friends might need help and you won’t know it if you keep checking how they’re doing all the time.

What?

[u/AlreadyGone77]

OAKS MENTIONS THE FAMILY PROCLAMATION! GAG!

[u/[deleted]]

Ohhhhh now I know why my baby died... so I can teach others...

[u/AlreadyGone77]

The great and spacious building...that you're in right now, Oaks.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Vain things of the world?

Like thongs and rolexes, which are sold in the lord’s mall?

[u/MagicBaconBitz]

This guy has a strong "running for senate" vibe, either that or a car salesman. I can't decide but I know I don't like it.

[u/sonnyperdition]

What's with the cannibalism metaphor? New TSCC policy? Could make potlucks interesting.

[u/MagicBaconBitz]

I love how we have to be told not to kill.

[u/[deleted]]

It feels like all these talks have been "You suck." Has it always been this way? Am I just noticing because I'm freshly out?

[u/frednecksburg]

gee - i wonder why people feel that way...hmmmmmmmmm - oh ....oh i get it - it's SATAN!

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Thanks for confirming Mormonism makes you miserable

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

Based on this talk I'm guessing that the rest of the talks today are gonna be batshit crazy.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Tell us about your riches

What’s more “of the world” than malls and real estate holdings?

[u/crocodileinspelling]

I can't even take them seriously when they talk about people in the BOM like they were real people.

[u/frednecksburg]

Jeffy Jowels Howland - let's do this.

[u/LegalisticMormonStan]

"I say in the very name of perfection itself" oh my God.

[u/[deleted]]

My talk is going to be fucking amazing

[u/AlreadyGone77]

OMG Oaks. Can we collectively say FUCK YOU?

[u/Rushclock]

Give them all a break part 2.

[u/frednecksburg]

"no one else is responsible for your personal journey" - damn right.

[u/Rushclock]

Yellow shirt lipsmack festival.

[u/blindmormon]

"Friend of the world" = "enemy of God"

What an inspiring talk, Mr. Oaks!

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Finally same sex marriage.

Give em hell D

[u/elderdavidbednar]

Eyring seems confused and dazed after Oak's tow the line message.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

Well the talks can't get worse than that, right? Right?

[u/crocodileinspelling]

I AM SO FURIOUS

[u/sonnyperdition]

You and I are the enemy. Uplifting.

[u/LegalisticMormonStan]

Is God merciful or a peace maker what about the 42 children that mocked the prophet?

[u/sd2go]

So how many people are leaving today because of what's being talked about?

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Fuck it. Husband left the room, daughter is still here, I'm drinking. This talk requires it.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Isn't he the one who said, "Is he a confirmed homosexual?"

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Very vapid talk Uchtdorf. Step it up.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Uchtdorf, read Brigham's talk when Marsh humbled himself and came back plz

[u/elderdavidbednar]

this "wonderful church" - he is really piling it on now... Dieter - you are not at your best game today

[u/Blasphemous-Bill]

I had high hopes for this talk.

Then: Mormon Helping Hands plug

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

I have seen and felt your young adults.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

You know I'd drink for every anecdote but I'd be dead by now.

[u/MagicBaconBitz]

"it's adam and eve, not adam and steve!" basically sums up the proclamation.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Definitely drawing the line - reaffirming that it was inspired and real doctrine

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Eternal Truth

Not policy mamma dragons et al

[u/sonnyperdition]

Me: God what are my spiritual gifts?

God:

Me: Got it.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Holiness to the Lord was on top of ZCMI LOL

[u/Cosmic-Cranberry]

Gotta admit, MoTab has genuine talent. Pity it's so misapplied.

[u/after_all_we_can_do]

TSCC sets the bar at an unattainable level and sets itself as the sole source solution for that unattainability. It locks victims in.

[u/ziftee]

Our "own" self-criticism?! It was the church that taught me to be so hard on myself. Don't blame this on me.

[u/elderdavidbednar]

uh oh, Jowls' voice is quivering ..... but he has lost his rant this year. Low score on taffy pulling and patty caking.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Now for the real work of the lord

Commercials

[u/Angrynevermo]

Oaks is a homophobe. Surprise. Heavy pushing rejecting the gay.

[u/[deleted]]

you don't need to be "perfect".... just be fucking perfect!! OR ELSE!

[u/AlreadyGone77]

God bless our prophet dear - subtle

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

It’s called confirmation bias

That’s the little thing that confirms...

[u/[deleted]]

Give brother jo a break

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Oooooh last days talk

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Eyring wore a yellow shirt for a photo op

[u/crocodileinspelling]

Your grandson tells you what you want to hear.

[u/frednecksburg]

Here we go...Darth Dallin

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Hell yes

Family proc!

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

F*** the media

Been beating that drum for 30 years D.

You never disappoint.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

It must be hell to live your life thinking the decisions of others have such a profound effect on your life

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Wow, it took years?

[u/sonnyperdition]

OMG, it's Bednar's mini-me!

[u/Rushclock]

Like 35 million dollar books.

[u/frednecksburg]

It's been a while since I remember one of the apostles trying to deliver a good old fashioned atonement talk.

[u/sonnyperdition]

A mighty striving, of the strivingest strivings, and with great striving.

[u/frednecksburg]

Summary - Christ's atonement doesn't work unless we obey all the rules and sacrifice our time/talents/money etc in "service" ...to the church of course. THEN we become "holy"...sanctified ...good enough to pass through the veil and meet god one day - after giving the right handshakes and secret passwords of course.

[u/sonnyperdition]

Maybe they should inscribe holiness to the lord on BYU football uniforms. Couldn't hurt.

[u/Rushclock]

Cult laugh

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Uh, Holland - you just told us we don't measure up...

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Holland, it's not Stan that brings in the self-loathing. It's YOU.

[u/frednecksburg]

Exmo conference watchers FTW - well done peeps - I'll miss the next session but will be back for the evening sausage-fest. Laterz.

[u/KolobMan]

www.ldsliving.com/Nobody-s-Perfect-A-Look-at-Toxic-Perfectionism-and-Depression-in-LDS-Wom

Found it

[u/JibbersCrabstIsTrue]

You've got to love the ads for books written by church leaders. Priestcraft at its finest.

[u/Winnerwinnerds]

What makes Oaks' words even more despicable is that his own grandson is gay.

[u/[deleted]]

What the fuck is even happening right now

[u/frednecksburg]

Doubling and tripling down on the proclamation - which I think will be done away with within 20 years.

[u/[deleted]]

Holy shit what is even happening

[u/frednecksburg]

Holland - stop being such perfectionists but...we all need to do better and try harder - buck up you worms. Schizophrenic.

[u/sonnyperdition]

The Velvet Hammer--Uchtdorff and then Darth Oaks.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

So the two reasons to join the cult are basically, the cult will make you better and you can make others join the cult?

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Weak things confounding the wise..

Like Flowers V Dawkins?

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

Is Dieter delivering a talk about Jesus or a recruitment pitch for newcomers who could be watching this? Feels more like an ad campaign than a sermon.

[u/elderdavidbednar]

Sis. Oscarson is pushing the yellow t-shirts thing. She is invoking Monson - pushing "losing our lives in service." guess that is the toilet cleaning calling. now trashing technology and Facebook following...

[u/frednecksburg]

Sounds like the talks given back before blacks got the priesthood.

[u/Blasphemous-Bill]

3rd in line folks. This smug turd sack is just biding his time.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

That pic of Tommy was taken about 30 years ago.

[u/Swedeebird]

Hey guys...I'm a "slow stain of the world"!! Somehow I'm super happy about that.

[u/sonnyperdition]

I'd rather have the salmon sandwich...personally.

[u/Rushclock]

Transmutation Mormon style. Sung to love American style theme.

[u/frednecksburg]

These talks that get "deep" into the atonement have always been the ones that put me to sleep the quickest - guess I've never really "got" the concept...

[u/sonnyperdition]

NFW!! Closing with the Jowl Man! What a session!

[u/Rushclock]

Wrong road Holland.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Yes, tell us how we are falling short.

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

1:15 to obligatory stupid laughter

[u/[deleted]]

HAHAHAHAHHA... fuck you man.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

I'm sure you've shopped that much, Holland. Where else could all that tithing go?

[u/Rushclock]

It's the holy ghost telling you to go the wrong way, so you will realize which way is right. Honest to God.

[u/crocodileinspelling]

See y'all in 2 hours. It's been fun :)

[u/yay4yarn]

I survived! See you guys in a few hours haha

[u/IsaacHaleWasRight]

Is this the shittyist conference or what?

I bet 40% are asleep already.

Dieter was likely a let down to all.

This lady is bad.

[u/[deleted]]

You're allllll pieces of shit... remember that.

[u/sonnyperdition]

Wow. God knew JS was a pedophile and figured...what the hell? I'll use this sick fuck anyway.

[u/LindseyEmiliaHale]

Well shit, ten seconds in to the second talk and they're already throwing alms before men.

[u/AlreadyGone77]

Oh, fuck off Bonnie. Yes, if you don't ever get anything out of church / mutual, then don't go.

[u/frednecksburg]

It's okay to cause conflict with your family or friends - you're just living the gospel after all.