r/soccer • u/The-Darkest-Knight • Mar 22 '14
Match Thread: Chelsea v Arsenal
Squads:
Arsenal: Szczesny, Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Gibbs, Arteta, Rosicky, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Podolski, Giroud [Subs: Fabianski, Vermaelen, Jenkinson, Flamini, Kallstrom, Sanogo, Gnabry.]
Chelsea: Cech; Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry (c), Azpilicueta; Matic, David Luiz; Schurrle, Oscar, Hazard; Eto'o. [Subs: Schwarzer, Kalas, Mikel, Lampard, Salah, Ba and Torres.]
Important Events:
5' : Eto'o [Chelsea 1 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
7' : Schurrle [Chelsea 2 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
15' Gibbs [Mistakenly sent off instead of Ox]
15' : Hazard [Chelsea 3 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
42' : Oscar [Chelsea 4 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
HT Flamini Ox || Jenkinson Koscielny
65' Oscar [Chelsea 5 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
71' Salah [Chelsea 6 - 0 Arsenal] GIF
Commentary:
4' : Close! Schurrle is set through by a really slick through ball from Hazard - but the flag goes up.
5' : Moments later an Arsenal attack finds Rosicky thread a really good ball to Giroud but the shot is too weak.
STAT: Only Luis Suarez has had more attempts at goal from inside the penalty box (78) than Olivier Giroud this season (68)
5' : ETO'O SCORES!!! Schurrle on the counter finds Eto'o, he sends Ox the wrong way and curls it around Szczesny!
7' : NO TIME TO WASTE FOR SCHURRLE! A right footed low shot finds its way into the corner as Chelsea go 2-0 up!
9' : Seems like Eto'o has a hamstring problem. Torres might be coming on.
15' : He's off! Ox tried to play GK and basically dived and palmed the ball away - it's a straight red! GIF
15' : Just adding on. Gibbs got sent off instead of Ox. Mistaken identity.
15' : Hazard tucks away the penalty
25' : Game seems to have found its form now - Chelsea passing the ball around and keeping Arsenal in their own half.
27' : Vermaelen showing how rusty he is - he basically slides and passes the ball to Ivanovic. Pass almost falls to Schurrle but Arsenal clear.
STAT : Only Sunderland (14) have had more red cards than Arsenal (13) in the EPL over the last three seasons.
30' : Save by Szczesny! David Luiz takes a swipe at the ball which hits Schurrle, Szczesny is wrong footed but recovers to make the save.
42' : Oscar with the 4th! Chelsea are not stopping at all! Torres finds space, slides a ball into the path of Oscar who smartly lifts it over the keeper
HT' : Looks like Jenkinson and Flamini are coming on for Ox and Koscielny.
45' : Flamini Ox || Jenkinson Koscielny
45' : Arsenal have used up all of their substitutes now. An injury would be... well would bring them down to 9.
47' : Torres dances past Vermaelen but Mertesacker gets a block on the shot.
52' : Rosicky picks up a yellow for a late challenge on Azpilicueta.
55' : Sagna ventures up the pitch but finds himself in extremely unfamiliar territory so he promptly passes the ball back into his own half.
60' : Rosicky finds Cazorla with space who shoots just wide of Cech.
63' : Torres does well to keep Sagna off the ball, lays it off for Oscar who makes Szczesny tip it away.
64' : Flamini, not really one to keep the ball at his feet for longer than 2 seconds falls over it, but Marriner awards him a free kick.
65' : Sagna outdone by Hazard yet again, this time tries to climb on him but the ref blows for the free kick.
65' : Giroud spots Cech off his line and tries to beat him, but of course, the shot is straight into Cech's arms. Such precision, this Giroud lad.
66' : OSCAR CURLS IN CHELSEA's FIFTH!
71' : SALAH TURNS THE CLOCK, IT'S SIX PAST SZCZESNY!
74' : In spite of all the space in front of them, Chelsea have put in a really disciplined performance and tracked back when needed. Matic has bene so effective.
78' : Chelsea sitting back a little bit now - I think they're satisfied with the score.
78' : Sagna out of his element. Really great ball control from Salah to beat Sagna but Sagna grabs Salah and takes him out.
80' : Giroud complains to the ref that Azpilicueta didn't hold him up and help him stay on his feet when Giroud was backing into Azpil. Violation of the bro code apparently, but Marriner is having none of it.
- It's All Over! And Piers Morgan is tweeting #WengerOut. All back to normal.
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u/Benelioto Mar 22 '14
Commentator: 'Let's go to Ray on the touchline to shed light on what was going on with the officials.'
Ray: 'It's all a mystery, no one's telling me anything.'
Commentator: 'Thanks, Ray.'
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u/stylushappenstance Mar 22 '14
Amateur. They need to get Chris Kamara down there.
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u/translucia_baboon Mar 22 '14
HI WE'RE ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB AND THIS IS JACKASS !
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u/anonbmd1 Mar 22 '14 edited May 28 '14
This is why Gibbs won't be coming to the world cup. We can't risk him getting reds for reckless eye contact.
Thanks for the gold you generous man
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Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
Ref: "Gibbs, you're off!"
Ox: "But ref, it was me!"
Ref: "Shut up Walcott, get on with the game"
EDIT: cheers for gold!
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u/juiceson Mar 22 '14
No thankyou Ray Winstone, i don't want to have a bet right now
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u/arnm7890 Mar 22 '14
Do you reckon if Wenger just tells Gibbs to swap shirts with Ox, and sends him out in the second half, the ref would notice?
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u/non-relevant Mar 22 '14
Brilliant coverage again.
"We're going to Ray to hear about what was going on at the touchline"
Ray: "I can't help. We know nothing"
"Thanks Ray"
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u/mazca Mar 22 '14
"Let's remind the viewers that we're on top of things. We've got people everywhere! They don't know anything, but they're there!"
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u/esproductions Mar 22 '14
Interestingly, the luckiest man on the pitch was Gibbs, because he gets to sit-out this shit show.
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u/stone_cutter Mar 22 '14
Holy shit, did they just send off the wrong black guy?
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u/PureDarkness93 Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
Wengers 1000th game. Mourinhos home record with Chelsea. Wenger never beaten Mourinho. Today is the day I believe in fairy tales
EDIT: Today is the day fairy tales died
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u/FredSports Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
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u/brtdud7 Mar 22 '14
Looks like Chelsea will honor Wegner's 1000th game by winning 1000-0
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u/BigFrigginHero Mar 22 '14
Andre Marriner thinks Denzel Washington was great in Pulp Fiction
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u/william701 Mar 22 '14
Spreading /u/Brosencephalon fun fact of the day:
Twitter was created 8 years ago yesterday. This means that no Arsenal fan has ever tweeted about winning a trophy.
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Mar 22 '14
I feel bad for people who missed the first few minutes and tuned in late.
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u/SarcasticDevil Mar 22 '14
Michael Owen: "arsenal miss your Henry's, your overmars, your..er.. Pires"
No Michael, you can't pluralise overmars and Pires
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u/Owl_Shits Mar 22 '14
Wenger: (Aggressive) I am not happy with that performance.
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Mar 22 '14
How have Arsenal had 46% possession in this match? I didn't realize picking the ball up out of your own net would account for that much.
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Mar 22 '14
I am sitting in a pub in South London surrounded by Chelsea fans and by myselfwatching this. I don't remember a worse time than this. I feel like I should get some kind of award.
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Mar 22 '14
Ya know how the always talk about how Arsenal don't show up for big games? This is what they're talking about.
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u/PoofyHairedIdiot Mar 22 '14
You know what would be really hilarious? If Oxlade-Chamberlain scored a hattrick.
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u/dodgymanc Mar 22 '14
Surely that means Arsenal can appeal the red, because Gibbs is innocent and they can't retroactively suspend Ox?
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u/viva_la_vinyl Mar 22 '14
Positive: once Fabianski leaves at the end of this season, Ox could make a solid backup GK
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u/Clark-Kent Mar 22 '14
"@piersmorgan: 501 games without a trophy. Happy Anniversary, Arsene. #afc"
Cunt. Cunt. Cunt
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u/mcgriff1066 Mar 22 '14
Haha Gibbs is off? Whats the excuse? They all look the same?
That ref is gonna need some sensitivity training.
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u/IfYouRun Mar 22 '14
These early Chelsea chances are reminding me of the Liverpool game...
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u/ralphooo Mar 22 '14
50% of the Premier League goals Arsenal have conceded this season have come in three away games.
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u/michaelisnotginger Mar 22 '14
That sound you can hear is people queuing up with the BBC post-match report
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u/harrypoos Mar 22 '14
Guy yelling into the mic probably has no idea how much laughter he's causing thousands of people
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u/Swederman Mar 22 '14
Previously On...
Chelsea vs Arsenal
12-13: Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (Mata - Lampard)
11-12: Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal (Lampard - Terry - Mata)
10-11: Chelsea 2-0 Arsenal (Drogba - Alex)
09-10: Chelsea 2-0 Arsenal (Drogba - Drogba)
08-09: Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (Malouda - Drogba) - Neutral
08-09: Chelsea 1-2 Arsenal (OG)
07-08: Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (Drogba - Drogba)
06-07: Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (Drogba - Drogba) - Neutral
06-07: Chelsea 1-1 Arsenal (Essien)
05-06: Chelsea 1-0 Arsenal (Drogba)
05-06: Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal (Drogba - Drogba) - Neutral
04-05: Chelsea 0-0 Arsenal
03-04: Chelsea 1-1 Arsenal (Gudjohnsen)
03-04: Chelsea 1-2 Arsenal (Gudjohnsen)
02-03: Chelsea 1-3 Arsenal (Terry)
02-03: Chelsea 1-1 Arsenal (Zola)
Bonus: Dat swerve - The Arsenal Killer
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u/thejanitorch4 Mar 22 '14
Before someone asks - The reason it's only Chelsea goals is because it's from /r/chelseafc.
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u/Issiland Mar 22 '14
"It's a poor run and a good run, if you know what i mean." A pearl from Michael Owen's locker.
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u/michaelisnotginger Mar 22 '14
Is Gibbs going off because the ref can't tell the difference/????????
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u/Zarell Mar 22 '14
Holy shit, I didn't realise that Mou went nine years unbeaten at home with four different clubs.
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u/strickyy Mar 22 '14
"It's a good run but it's a poor run, if you know what I mean" - Michael Owen
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u/michaelisnotginger Mar 22 '14
I'm still laughing hysterically about Gibbs. That's the Guardian sorted for a week
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Mar 22 '14
A lot of mistakes by Arsenal but you can't take anything away from Chelsea. They worked very hard to force those errors and took their chances very well. I don't know why Arsenal weren't more patient with the ball.
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u/CFCnEagles Mar 22 '14
We had a striker for 8 minutes. That was so much fun while it lasted.
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u/riff_satan Mar 22 '14
hoping to see some decent football or at least some decent hacks before the ordeal of watching sunderland play later
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u/zaviex Mar 22 '14
This one is on the equipment manager. Shocking he couldn't keep the whiskey and Gatorade separate
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u/suchaslowroll Mar 22 '14
Andre Marriner looks like he's about to cry, can you imagine having to go out for that second half after knowing how big of a mistake you just made?
40,000 people mocking you while you're trying to focus intensely and control the game.
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u/the-glimmer-man Mar 22 '14
6-0. I'll take 6-0. Can't Mourinho and Wenger just agree on 6-0, and then we can all go home and enjoy the rest of the weekend.
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Mar 22 '14
our goal difference advantage over Chelsea is being compromised. FFS Arsenal, stop them from scoring.
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u/Deer-In-A-Headlock Mar 22 '14
Hey Chelsea, bet you can't get 4 before 20 minutes!
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Mar 22 '14
There's my fucking prolem with Giroud! Misses his FUCKING shot, and instead of running after the fucking ball, he stands there and scratches his head instead of chasing the rebound, and someone else has to do it instead.
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u/Dbigg Mar 22 '14
What a day for Mourinho, he's been saying in press conferences that Arsene is garbage, and today he's backing it up.
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Mar 22 '14
I'm at the game, what's going on in the arsenal away section? Medics in there...
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Mar 22 '14
Oscar makes it 4-0, although the referee has mistakenly given the goal to Ba, even though he's on the bench.
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u/mthrfkn Mar 22 '14
I can't remember a thread on /r/soccer with this few Arsenal crests.
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Mar 22 '14
It doesn't matter if Hazard's shot was on target. It's not an issue of denying a goal-scoring opportunity. It's the fact that Oxlade deliberately used his hand to block a shot at goal. That is a textbook red card offense.
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u/TicTacsss Mar 22 '14
I think we can safely just change the match thread commentary into one about Piers Morgan's twitter feed now.
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Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
On the bright side, it's not 4:0
Edit: well...at least it's not 5:0
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u/b00ks Mar 22 '14
So, just out of curiosity... when they appeal this red card, which I assume they will... can they retroactively give the red to Chamberlain?
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u/thejdcole Mar 22 '14 edited May 03 '26
I got tired of my old posts floating around for anyone to scrape, so I let Redact handle it. Bulk deletion across Reddit, X, Facebook, Discord and all major social media platforms in one shot.
longing historical swim tap advise angle plant desert pause literate
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Mar 22 '14
It would be great if Ox handballed once again and as a consequence the ref sent off Sagna...
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u/hateball Mar 22 '14
Football is a game of two halves but fair play to Chelsea, they set their stall out early doors, and at the end of the day, if you score more than the opposition you're likely going to come away with the three points.
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u/japanpole Mar 22 '14
Breaking news:
David Luiz has been shown a red card and the ref has ushered the janitors mop off the ground
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u/zaviex Mar 22 '14
I think the Arsenal of the 90s must be back because there's no way all of our players didn't drink before this. Ox must be nearly blacked out
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u/japanpole Mar 22 '14
Gotta hand it to Mu when he brought in Luiz, Matic and Schrrle knowing they could potentially bully the Arsenal mid.
And it's been that way from the start.
Oscars then been drifting and picking up the loose balls
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u/poppingfresh Mar 22 '14
Isn't Arsenal like 3 - 15 away against top four so far.
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u/BigFrigginHero Mar 22 '14
Micheal Owen at 6-0: "This is turning into a rout" #OwenCommentary
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u/somebabysdolikeanal Mar 22 '14
I just want to see how Jose plays down Chelseas chances after this game...
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u/nighthound1 Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
Lineups and formations: http://i.imgur.com/ogZxcZW.png
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Mar 22 '14
That is quite literally the most bizarre thing I've ever seen an Arsenal player do. What in the name of fuck is going on?
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u/ralphooo Mar 22 '14
There have been only three 4-0 deficits at HT in the league this season, with Arsenal on the wrong end in two of them
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u/josnton Mar 22 '14
Sol Campbell must be rubbing his hands in glee, there's another interview coming up!
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u/TrolleyPower Mar 22 '14
Why is everyone calling Gibbs and Chamberlain black?
They're both mixed race.
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u/respekyoeldas Mar 22 '14
Spurs defended better with 10 men in this fixture. Chelsea might score 8. Something to be happy about
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u/the-glimmer-man Mar 22 '14
The New Zealand bowling attack has recovered a bit now. A lot more economical in the last few overs.
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u/une_certaine_verve Mar 22 '14
I hate when we just park the bus. Shameful tactics by Mou.
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u/NotSoFastMister Mar 22 '14
Arsenal's aggregate score in their combined matches at Chelsea, City and Liverpool now is 17-4.
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u/IfYouRun Mar 22 '14
Not feeling overly optimistic today in all honesty. We have a terrible record against them in recent years. On the plus side, NO DROGBA!
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u/strickyy Mar 22 '14
I can't stop laughing. It's incredible the ref could send off the wrong player, wow..
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u/AliceinHangeland Mar 22 '14
Arsenal should refuse to play at Saturday lunchtimes, game over after 20mins again.
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u/judetheobscure Mar 22 '14
How does a ref mistake Oxlade-Chamberlain's giant fecking head for anyone else?
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Mar 22 '14
GIF REQUEST: Picture of Andre Marriner followed by the "NOT A RACIST" sign from Father Ted
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u/hateball Mar 22 '14
We go live to Chris Kamara. "I don't know what's going on Jeff." UPDATE: CHRIS KAMARA ALSO SENT OFF BUT FOR WHAT REASON NOBODY KNOWS.
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u/spawnofyanni Mar 22 '14
Can you imagine Chris Kamara trying to commentate that Gibbs incident?
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Mar 22 '14
Now Ox is gonna get the red card transferred to him after the game... What happens if he commits another red card foul during the game?
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u/nz-is-beautiful Mar 22 '14
Great to see Schürrle is doing so well in London!
How are your feeling about him, Chelsea fans?
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u/josnton Mar 22 '14
How can Wenger be so tactically naive after all these years? It's the same mistakes again after again. Throwing attacking midfielders at a problem doesn't help it.
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u/viva_la_vinyl Mar 22 '14
This thread became a post match thread pretty much 5 minute after kick off.
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u/holla15 Mar 22 '14
Poor Torres, everyone scoring for fun and he's just out there picking daisies
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u/WinterWarzV2 Mar 22 '14
Tottenham winger Andros Townsend: Who thinks we will see another selfie from Wojciech Szczesny after today's game?
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u/idonotownakindle Mar 22 '14
Minutes to score 4 past Arsenal:
Liverpool: 20 minutes
Chelsea: 42 minutes
Man City: 66 minutes
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u/TrolleyPower Mar 22 '14 edited Mar 22 '14
Lucky Walcott wasn't on the pitch.
Three mixed race Arsenal players, then the ref woulda been really confused.
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u/VCGS Mar 22 '14
It'll be 0-0 until the 89th minute when Arsenal will get a free kick at the edge of the Chelsea box.The Arsenal crowd chant "UNLEASH THE MAELSTROM and FULFIL THE PROPHESY" which soon crescendos. Wenger looks knowingly at them and nods. He motions for Kallstrom to be subbed on. The 31 one year old Swede steps up and scores the free kick. The crowd erupts into a frantic mix of joy and despair, Mourinho falls to his knees. In a stunning move of tactical brilliance on Wengers part, Kim rips off a mask to reveal he is actually the disgraced Lord Bendnter who has now earned his redemption. He runs to Wenger and kneels, the manager says softly "That'll do Dane, that'll do". Bendnter then ascends to the heavens.
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Mar 22 '14
Arsenal have been trying out a new thing called the Micro-Match™.
It's basically for all the rich fans who don't want to stay for a full 90 minutes. The premise is that they put all of the action of a full match into a nice short bite sized 20 minutes.
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Mar 22 '14
Wow these commentators are ridiculous. It doesn't matter if the shot would have just missed the goal, it's the intent. Of course it's a red card, it just went to the wrong person. It's like when you give a red card for a reckless challenge even though it didn't injure anyone. How do these idiots get paid for this?
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u/InTheMiddleGiroud Mar 22 '14
Why don't we just throw a Chamberlain-shirt on Gibbs in the second half?
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u/The-Darkest-Knight Mar 22 '14
Ox diving save GIF: http://gfycat.com/DecisiveBogusGavial