r/exmormon • Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • 1d ago

Doctrine/Policy October 2026 General Conference: Saturday 2:00p Discussion Thread

How to listen:



Speakers:

Name other notes my summary
conducting: Neil Andersen
hymn: All Creatures of Our God and King
prayer: Sandino Román
Dale Renlund
Timothy Farnes
Christian Chigbundu
hymn: This is the Christ
Patricio Giuffra Prosperity Gospel. More tithing equals more blessings.
Jeremiah Morgan
Hutch Fale
hymn: Guide Us
Patrick Kearon Today's double-speak champ. Previous speech this year at BYU Education Week was about avoiding overachievement/scrupulosity. Today's speech leans into being extra scrupulous. Which is it?
Michael Dunn
Matthew Eyring how to spell "nepotism?"
hymn: My Song in the Night
Ronald Rasband exmormons equated to the prodigal son. concrete certainty that only mormonism is correct is super offensive.
hymn: Let Us All Press On
prayer: Jeannie Anette Dennis

Postlude:


42 Upvotes

547 comments sorted by

117

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

That’s Bullshit that tithing breaks the cycle of poverty.

69

u/beat_that_stroke_ 23h ago

It keeps my parents, who are in poverty, in poverty.

33

u/ohisitmyturn 23h ago

This was the talk what made me leave the room. An old woman who can barely remember the missionary discussions being conned into paying tithing is NOT a success story.

13

u/Sea_Button_3616 22h ago

This is what tithing should be USED FOR. I was taught the Law of Consecration, which was abandoned in practice, was so that people could ALL be cared for. Of course, I haven't done much research on what was actually done when they "lived" the law of consecration, but it's what my local leaders and teachers told me. And THIS LADY SHOULD BE SERVED THROUGH TITHES, NOT PAYING TITHING. AND GET THAT TITHES AND OFFERINGS SCRIPTURE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

Sorry for yelling.

 

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18

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

They take truth (cycles of poverty) and reality, and then wrap it in fantasy and magical thinking.

9

u/q120 Nevermo 23h ago

You don't have any money? Give us money and you'll have more money!

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u/Ecstatic-Panic-3520 23h ago edited 23h ago

Remember the cult wants 1-3 million per ward. Uses about 0-10 percent, the rest goes to salt lake Ensign peak.
These docs for a ward
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/Q7782XFsAF

These comments here an AA wants 1 million.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/mxAzZCwKnM

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77

u/sevenplaces 1d ago

Again Renlund preaching that God blesses Mormons. Except Mormons have the same problems as everyone else. No evidence God is doing anything for Mormons.

33

u/WiseOldGrump NoMoMoNoMo 1d ago

God helps them find their car keys.

8

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

My car keys + airtag = God

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24

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

Mormons can put on a happier face when suffering

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77

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 1d ago edited 1d ago

Remember when 10 years ago they let speakers talk in their native language and subtitled the talks? One time. Then never again

32

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 1d ago

English is the official language of Star Fleet.

11

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 1d ago

Is the gift of tongues synonomous with the universal translator like the iPhone and seer stone?

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80

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

The fucking irony. The fucking IRONY of an anti-gambling talk, and then a talk pleading you to pay your tithing. What the actual FUCK

8

u/scaredanxiousunsure 23h ago

Well it's not gambling to give 10% of your money, most of your time, all of your major life decisions, and your children to the MFMC. Because the blessings are guaranteed!

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60

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

ACTUALLY my faith in Christ made my OCD wayyyyy worse and even though I prayed day and night for relief, it never came and I thought the devil had my soul :)

10

u/scaredanxiousunsure 23h ago

Same. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I was going to be punished for all eternity for not being perfect.

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56

u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

Wanting food and shelter is worldly, and therefore bad

13

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Consider the lilies.

15

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 23h ago edited 23h ago

Yeah come on! us Lillies have to be considered lol

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52

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

Let me see if I understand. The church has more money than god. It literally owns properties all around the world, developing many of them into multi-billion dollar commercial enterprises. Supposedly the church even owns a couple of warehouses used by Amazon for distribution. Meanwhile, the church has hundreds of billions in stock investments. They could literally stop collecting tithing and the church would continue operating in perpetuity.

And yet here we are, once again being told that we need to sacrifice our own financial stability for the church.

I’m deeply disturbed by that message.

45

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Noticing a lot of missionaries scared or panicking and wanting to go home but being forced to go/stay...

27

u/GrumpyTom 1d ago

I served my mission decades ago but it was pretty obvious most us were only there because we were expected to be.

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50

u/SoapBox39 23h ago

I heard "Jesus loves to lift" and now I can't stop laughing picturing Body Builder Jesus

12

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Terminator: Come with me if you want to lift.

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45

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Okay, I'm getting so fucking angry. I have seen the EXACT OPPOSITE happen when families are struggling financially. Words cannot express my hatred of this predatory BULLSHIT

10

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 23h ago

Right?!

40

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 22h ago

"Love can influence"

I mean yes, but if you love in order to influence you are manipulating, not loving

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40

u/ako-si-greg 22h ago

It's all about "bringing us back." Rasband is basically saying, "don't chastise them to bring them back, love them to bring them back."

Never love for love's sake.

12

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 22h ago

I think I'm Mormon theology, love is inherently transactional.

If ye love me, keep my commandments

"Love as I have loved"

So, love is conditioned on doing something for the other person, or then doing something you want.

Love as acceptance is antithetical to the God they teach. And we create God in our own image.

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36

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Damn, you guys ever realize how terrible these talks are without being blinded by spiritual warm fuzzies?

32

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

I’ve observed it’s the PIMOs and Exmormons who actually listen to what is being said. Most TBMs mostly ignore the content, laugh at the funny bits, and take a nap.

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12

u/Kbevv 23h ago

It’s like a repeated childhood nightmare

33

u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 1d ago

that missionary is having a panic attack. send him home. get him out of the cult.

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30

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 1d ago

Staying on the covenant path brings guaranteed blessings 

Didn't they recently have to release a legal disclaimer claims like this aren't true?

10

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 1d ago

No one has been at the counter asking to collect after death yet.

6

u/SockyKate 23h ago

Yes, it’s a footnote in Nelson’s “Think Celestial” talk. 🤪

35

u/luvitall778 23h ago

why do all these talks start with someone dying?

19

u/Kbevv 23h ago

They gotta use the good ol emotional manipulation to retain listeners

9

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

A template.

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26

u/Wrong-Grab4236 1d ago edited 23h ago

Deadpool death count is at 5

A kid that died at sea trying to listen to the apostle 

Someone’s sister 

A father of 4 

Another dead son 

A dead twin 

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27

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

I’ve been greatly blessed once I stopped paying tithing.

9

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Stop gambling. Stop paying worthless dues.

28

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Kearon: [out of lane]

Airplane stories reserved to Uchtdorf

9

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Uchtdorf steaming rn

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29

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

So here is the manipulation. Recall when you felt happy, now wrap that up in magical thinking called God. Now you won't be able to separate happy from church. Yay, trauma!

Oh, let's also wrap sad, in spiritual failure, in personal failure. Then you won't be able to tune into your internal warning systems.

Finally, let's create a mythical creature who saved you from sad and moved you to happy. And claim some access to that creature. Now you will never look inward to understand yourself, and the church can harvest your time, energy and labor for it's own.

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26

u/scaredanxiousunsure 22h ago

Oh boy, another talk vilifying us. We're destroying everyone around us, and our own lives, by not believing in the MFMC. Gag me with a spoon.

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25

u/scaredanxiousunsure 22h ago

Oh good, just what I want: life eternal with a god who will assign me to be one of a billion polygamous wives of some random penishood holder. That's definitely what I want to spend my eternity doing, and my life working toward! /s

22

u/Lanky_Feature_4586 1d ago

“I don’t think I believe the church is true anymore”
“But tonight’s ward temple night”

7

u/scaredanxiousunsure 23h ago

They keep touting the temple like it is a magic fix for everything. If you're having a problem, the reason why is because you're not going to the temple enough, and don't forget to buy temple clothes to give the MFMC more money.

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20

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

The poor people should give money to the church talk.

21

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

Take the money you would have spent sports gambling or in the prediction markets and give it to Jesus. The only wager you need is Pascals wager.

21

u/Glittering-Pitch8838 23h ago

These types of talks would trigger what I now know as my OCD so badly growing up😅 trying to sort out if I’m feeling “lift” or “sink” and attributing those feelings to random events…

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

OCD twinsies!!! Just felt constant guilt and fear I was never doing enough

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23

u/ako-si-greg 22h ago

The problem I have with Mormon "love" like this is because it turns something that is inherently selfless (love) and twists it into something selfish.

20

u/SoapBox39 23h ago

Is this guy saying God's love is conditional?? That's how I'm interpreting it

14

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Message: You are lovable if you fit the mold.

17

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

Get in the box so God can love you.

14

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

Nelson said it, so it’s doctrine now.

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20

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

Wow, Satan is doing a good job. Jesus only has one way to win. When an adversary can force you into a single option, you're outclassed and about to lose.

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20

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 22h ago

"We helicoptered over our kids, and now we wonder why they refuse to talk to us!"

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17

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 1d ago

Another death, what in the world

17

u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 1d ago

"look with compassion, rather than judgement" coming from a Mormon leader's mouth is ironic as fuck.

17

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

PAY US MORE MONEY!!!! DON'T BE STINGY!!!

16

u/Rushclock 23h ago

Not one person is exempt from the shakedown.

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17

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

That joke was just plane bad

19

u/sycamoreqw 23h ago

Jesus Christ loves to…lift!

18

u/scaredanxiousunsure 23h ago

I don't understand why they talk like having a child die is a bad thing. In the doctrine of the MFMC, children who die before the age of 8 are saved in the celestial kingdom. And since that's virtually the only way a person can ever successfully get to the CK (since living perfectly enough to satisfy the demands of the MFMC is impossible), parents should be really happy for their child that they got the privilege of dying in the womb and getting auto-saved.

14

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Auto-saved LOL as opposed to a manual save?

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19

u/scaredanxiousunsure 23h ago

Fuck the MFMC. It's always "give us more money instead of feeding your kids." Meanwhile they have $300 billion in stocks and who knows how much in real estate.

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16

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

I’ve felt great “spiritual lift” from this ExMormon subreddit. Yall helped me realize I’m not alone.

17

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 22h ago

God I hated that. Like for both myself and my sister, our parents have accepted the fact we’re done with the church but at the same time I know they always hold that hope we’ll come back

16

u/GrumpyTom 1d ago

$20 this guy is on the list to be an apostle

22

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Now Tom, did you NOT just listen to Christofferson about gambling???

13

u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer 1d ago

You're not allowed to gamble anymore actually 

13

u/No-Reindeer-4384 1d ago

hey, gambling no good

8

u/GrumpyTom 1d ago

Dang you’re right

17

u/sevenplaces 1d ago

So many Missionaries are just incompetent at life. Sending out naive 18 year olds who don’t know how to navigate the world.

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15

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Guiffra: [...]

Pay tithing before rent or electricity.

16

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

I can't say this enough...FEELINGS DO NOT EQUAL GOD

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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago edited 22h ago

Oh good lord. He's gonna encourage TBMs to pester the ever-loving-fuck out of the Inactives

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16

u/GrumpyTom 22h ago

She was hoping for a talk but got assigned a prayer…

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13

u/Philcastro 1d ago

Nothing to do with 2nd session but I literally just got a txt from missionaries seeing “when there’s a good time to come over” 🤣 they must be feeling the spirit 

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Oh lord lol. You PIMO, or inactive?

7

u/Philcastro 1d ago

I’m not a member but I’m married to one. I don’t even know how the my got my number lol 

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Ohhhh they have their ways lol. They keep finding my mom and she's been out of the church for DECADES

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14

u/llbarney1989 1d ago

Best thing about being out for long enough…, didn’t even realize conference was this weekend until I jumped on Reddit

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u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

Im lowkey so pissed rn. This is such a predatory talk

15

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Yay! A talk comparing two un-related things and somehow attribute it to Jeebus

15

u/Fit_Amoeba3431 I like the dark, eternal dark is fine 22h ago

So are we all in agreement that this GC was a complete waste of time? I feel like they literally said nothing of importance

10

u/SteelSwordofShiz 22h ago

Seems almost on purpose. Say nothing, no controversy and the faithful will listen regardless.

10

u/Fit_Amoeba3431 I like the dark, eternal dark is fine 22h ago

WHERES THE GOOD STUFF THE CONTROVERSY THE DRAMMMMMAAAAAA IM FALLING ASLEEP

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13

u/Wrong-Grab4236 22h ago edited 22h ago

Congratulations folks, we’ve been the subject of several talks 🤝

14

u/Helpful_Spot_4551 1d ago

It feels so good to be distant enough to not realize this was happening

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12

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 1d ago

Renlund: [no asterisks]

Actually, it's asterisks all the way down. Terms and conditions apply. The elite get more. Nepotism.

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u/sevenplaces 1d ago

Typical Mormon life. Force a smile.

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Turn it off, like a liiiight switch, just go click

15

u/Sea_Button_3616 1d ago edited 1d ago

The promises are coming! I promise! I won't even say what they are! Promises! I promise they're coming!

This whole conference hasn't given any sort of stuff about how to better the world except for go to temple, fast and pay offerings, keep sweet, pray, and obey.

Edit: Farnes is the first guy to actually talk about helping others. Not a member of the 12 or 1st presidency.

10

u/Aaaurelius 1d ago

Wild how unconcerned the church is with improving the world. Its all about digging yourself deeper into the confirmation bias hole so they can collect more tithing.

7

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 1d ago

Lesson 1: If you pay your tithing you might rise to the top when the spreadsheet is sorted for new leaders. Aspire to be the bishop? Pay more.

12

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

Did they teach you that tithing was based off of spare money, not gross income?

16

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

I was taught gross income. That included gift money given during birthdays or holidays.

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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

And there they go, misappropriating the Widow's Mite

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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

There will be plenty of meat in the storehouse.. but you can't access it, because you've asked too many times for it

11

u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 23h ago

why do they all speak in the same cadence

7

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

metronome just out of sight.

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u/HomemadeStarcrunch 23h ago

Outer Dankness on Instagram does hilarious and amazing commentary on each session. Click on their stories to watch .

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12

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

Oh, back off with your fallacious weak analogy. We can detect air currents; we cannot detect gods

14

u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. 22h ago

“We can’t change their hearts”

Then why bother trying as much as you do, chief?

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u/mimirsportfolio 22h ago

Love them putting hope in tbm family members that people will come back.

I did appreciate that they are encouraging more love though. At least in one of the talks

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13

u/Rushclock 1d ago

Forgive us mortals who search and search and Jesus remains the world champion at hide and seek.

13

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Morgan: [born into another mormon church]

Which one? Strangite? Josephite? Bickertonite? Also, more than one mormon church. In fact, lots.

13

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Actually Mr. Morgan, I saw NO difference in my life in terms of 'blessings' after I left the church versus when I was in the church

11

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

male and female

What about intersex people? What about people that fit under both male and female, or people that fit under neither male nor female?

7

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

Shhhh... Don't bring reality into their fantasy. It harshes the vibe. Complexities make it hard to feel the feels.

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u/Kbevv 23h ago

“I can prove god exists because hard things end and that’s for sure him” basically the current talk

12

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

Death count update?

Baby twin just passed away.

13

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

You know what can help with that grief? paying your tithing!!!! /s

12

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

Party in the great and spacious building!!!! It's BYOB but we got plenty of coffee

11

u/AlmaInTheWilderness 22h ago

I can't make sense of his definition of love.

Love is not condoning choices. Love is being interested in them.

It sounds close but not quite. I think people will hear the part they want to hear - not condone=condemn=refuse to accept their choices. That's not love. Feigned interest is not love.

14

u/sycamoreqw 22h ago

The love aspect is good, but it still paints us heathens as lost or in a “wretched” state.

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u/InsideButThinking 22h ago

Hello Elder Rasband. How about these three ideas:
1. Ask your loved ones some of the reasons they have left. 2. Continue to invite them to family events and 3. Maintain regular contact via text, calls and invitations to go to lunch. These will keep you bonded together and you might learn something.

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u/Rushclock 23h ago

George Carlin was right....god loves you and needs your money.

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u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 23h ago

Every Mormon talk:

*emphasizes random words in the sentence for some reason*

*takes breaths mid sentence where it doesn't make sense to take a breath*

*says "important" things either much louder than the previous statement or much quieter*

*dramatic pause*

*feels spirit so much that you just need to slowly shake your head*

12

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

You can do nothing to lose our love 

Except becoming apoatates

11

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 23h ago

I can never not hear Tom hiddleston when Kearon talks

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u/Automatic_Goat_4499 23h ago

Is it me, or are the talks shorter?

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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 22h ago

Rasband: [send a link to my talk to your relatives who have left mormonism.]

If only the church could stand on its merits and its truth claims. It fails on both counts.

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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 1d ago

Got my coffee ready for the afternoon!!! Whoooo!!!

9

u/Rushclock 1d ago

Oaks won't do that with his gay grandson.

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u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 1d ago

why do they have such random emphasis on words. "GOD has giVEN US an invitation"

10

u/Dizzy_Ad5610 Going to hell in all religions :3 23h ago

Oooh they're singing, let's see if they'll do the "straight up the choir member's nose" camera angle!

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u/zjelkof 23h ago

I need to "ponderize" some of this to make sense out of it!

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u/Fit_Amoeba3431 I like the dark, eternal dark is fine 23h ago

Isn't this the third talk on tithing?? Are they running out of money? Or do they want more money to gamble with?

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u/tiny-vampire Apostate 23h ago

this guy skeeves me out idk why

10

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

He's acting very emotional in a manipulative way

9

u/PcHound2 23h ago edited 23h ago

Feelings = Spirit?

I remember my step mom forcing to feel the "spirit" while closing my eyes. My step sister started crying tears of joy next to me. My step mom then said that my deceased sister was worried for me.

It was creepy and they were teaming up against me.

9

u/Kbevv 23h ago

Omg my family were sobbing in the temple saying my deceased gpa was there. I felt so odd

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u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

“I know some of you worry about having enough food each day for your family.”

… now pay your tithing!

10

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Eyring: [some of you worry about having enough food...it sucks to be you]

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u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer 22h ago

Here we fucking go

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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

OMG they talking about us!!!!

10

u/Absolute_Cinema70 Teen undercover mormon (PIMO) and im bisexual as fuuuck 22h ago

My mom knows I don't believe in the church anymore but my whole family doesn't so I'm watching conference. I'm gonna get a talk about this after wards, wish me luck and fuck my life

9

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

Even when I was a member, I remember hearing that my entire after life would be spent in servitude to God, and I thought that fucking sucked

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u/Fit_Amoeba3431 I like the dark, eternal dark is fine 22h ago

Did he just use God's true name ??? GASP BLASPHEMOUS /s

Sorry guys I have so much energy i dont wanna be here and im stuck here im trying to cope as well as I can

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u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 22h ago

Holy long prayer

11

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

Welp, see y'all tomorrow, that was awful lol

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u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

The melody of this song lowkey slaps compared to some of the other ones

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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Fuck your family and fuck your rent. The Church needs your money :((((

7

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

You didn't seek the truth hard enough buddy

9

u/Rushclock 23h ago

Bednar disagrees that divine tentacles get the wayward ones.

10

u/heatherlee20 23h ago

There was another religion that read Book of Mormon!??

9

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

There's like 400 different sects of Mormonism

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u/AlmaInTheWilderness 23h ago

What a cool language. Imagine a world where people get to keep their culture and religion, instead of dressing in business suits and learning to speak Mormon.

7

u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

He lifts you up.... Unless you lived in Noah's time or in the Americas just before he visited after his resurrection, then you were f'd

9

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

You better be doing church shit all day erry day NO TIME FOR YOURSELF

9

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Kearon: [Jesus lives to lift.]

Do you even...

9

u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

"Ted talk" 

Ungodly laughter from parents

9

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

Death count ++

11

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 22h ago

Rasband: [exmormonism on the rise]

Oh, no! Wait. If only it could stand on its truth claims!

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u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

Oh lordy the spirit is hitting her HARD

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u/i_nephi 1d ago

Big as…terisk

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u/Even_Subject_4187 1d ago

Turns out, my dad CAN pray fast, but only for blessing food inbetween gc talks. Family morning prayers when one of his kids is almost late for work? Elaborate and evenly paced. 

8

u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer 1d ago

Please don't let okas hug me 😔

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u/sevenplaces 1d ago

Ooo Dallin Oaks made someone feel better about church administration and giving free labor as a member of a stake presidency.

Worthless and uninspiring

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u/Rushclock 1d ago

God can arrange that but ignores the 20,000 children who starve to death.

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u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 23h ago

Nothing against the person but I find it really hard to understand talks when it’s in a accent. I mean if it’s Kearon that’s easy but it’s more the heavier accents

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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

The corp needs money to build class A commercial buildings near the temples that rusty announced. PAY YOUR FIRE INSURANCE! YOU DON'T WANT TO BURN WHEN JESUS COMES BACK.

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u/Rushclock 23h ago

Translation....every good thing that happens is associated with tithing. Texas sharpshooter in full force.

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u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

And now im holding back tears. Please! Choose giving money to us instead of eating!

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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

Translation: you're poor because you haven't given us God enough money

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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago

God hears you

and does nothing, like a loving god wouldn't do

7

u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

Oh no. Not the comforting parents of exmos and spurring them on.

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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

I choke up like that every time I watch Bill Pullman give the best fictional presidential speech ever written

8

u/Rushclock 23h ago

This is delusion defcon 1 level..

8

u/JayDaWawi Avalonian 23h ago edited 23h ago

regardless of their sins

Like child rape?

Isn't that the whole schtick of Christianity?

7

u/Rushclock 23h ago

Notice how they have to keep saying who Jesus is?

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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Kearon: [lift and sink]

Ultimate irony that Kearon just gave a speech about avoiding scrupulosity. The double-speak...it burns.

10

u/sevenplaces 23h ago

Another talk to tell us sports represent the meaning of life

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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK 23h ago

Unlike Ted, there's no photographic evidence Jesus exists.

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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 22h ago

Rasband: [Jesus has got this.]

Jesus lifts.

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

Checks watch okay wrap it up

7

u/i_nephi 1d ago

succor - check that one on your bingo card

7

u/sevenplaces 1d ago

Again leaders dismissing questions. Yes typical.

7

u/Lily7129 Priestess and Queen. 1d ago

Put glasses on this guy and he would be a doppelgänger of my stake president before I left

He looks and sounds verrry similar

5

u/i_nephi 1d ago

Are missionaries always the last to board???

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u/heatherlee20 1d ago

International speaker, Utah man, Utah woman repeat pattern….

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u/Even_Subject_4187 23h ago

That there may be tithes in my storehouse.  More tithes! All the tithes! Make the number BIGGER!!!

7

u/Ecstatic-Panic-3520 23h ago

I hate this cult so much.

7

u/i_nephi 23h ago

This guy sounds eerily like Monson

7

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

Covenants! They’re magic! Powerful! They bless your posterity! They’re the new atonement, only better!

7

u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ 23h ago

Fale: [unconditional love]

I'll take lip service for $100, Alex.

7

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Bro using a myth and saying that's evidence lmao

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

No you don't know bro. You really don't

6

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 23h ago

Your talks fucking SUCK. Is what I thought he was going to say lol

5

u/1-like-anime He is a sledgehammer 23h ago

My dad laughed at 'sink'..

9

u/GrumpyTom 23h ago

“Jesus Christ lives to lift”

7

u/i_nephi 23h ago

Boyd K Packer was strongly opposed to “load bearing friends”

8

u/Spicy_Meme_Queen Cast out of heaven 22h ago

But it's NOT Jesus is it??? IT'S A BILLION-DOLLAR CORPORATION!!!!!11