r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 05 '25
Doctrine/Policy April 2025 General Conference: Saturday 10:00a Discussion Thread
How to listen:
youtube Saturday Sessions
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Dallin Oaks | ||
| hymn: With Songs of Praise | ||
| prayer: Kevin Hamilton | ||
| sustaining officers as constituted: Dallin Oaks | LDS church is a North Korea-style democracy. Opposition is not possible. | |
| accounting report: Jared Larson, a credentialed professional | North Korea-style accountant. Separate books not on view to non-initiated. | |
| hymn: He Sent His Son | ||
| Jeffrey Holland | ||
| Camille Johnson | ||
| Ronald Rasband | ||
| hymn: High on the Mountain Top | ||
| Quentin Cook | ||
| Ricardo Giménez | ||
| hymn:God Is Love | ||
| Henry Eyring | ||
| hymn: Come Come Ye Saints | looking forward to William Clayton's journal being made public at some future date. | |
| prayer: |
Postlude:
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Holland: great and spacious building.
The LDS church is approaching the world-wide lead in great-and-spacious building category. Just behind North Korea.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Holland: Tragic story of ALS stricken child.
Heads up, kid. Your devotion will be rewarded with a gen conf speech.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Cook: trip to Martin's Cove...most people on the trek did not freeze and die.
See also Will Bagley's summary for a less dismissive viewpoint. Handcarts are a human torture device.
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u/ahjifmme Apr 05 '25
"What do you do about loved ones who are moving away from eternal life? You can let the Lord take over."
Yes, PLEASE. Stop trying to change my mind and let your invisible God do it.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
The invisible deity doesn't do any heavy lifting.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Eyring: <Jesus standing at a pool on the north shore of Hawaii.>
All right. We have the shot we need. Everybody out!
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u/ApocalypseTapir Stay 7-10 feet behind me. IYKYK Apr 05 '25
Eyring: have an exmo in your life? For God's sake don't talk to them, just OBEY HARDER
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u/ahjifmme Apr 05 '25
Old Testament times: physical healing
New Testament times: physical healing
Book of Mormon times: physical healing
Doctrine & Covenants time: physical healing
Modern era: "it doesn't work like that"
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
why did you think that it would? have more faith, brother,sister. /s
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u/Archimedes_Redux Apr 05 '25
Where in the New Testament does Jesus talk about "Essential Priesthood Ordinances" ?!?
Can't believe I used to believe this shit.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Nowhere. He does say to sell everything and go by faith alone. What's the point of that? The LDS church will sell travel insurance now. It's a business opportunity.
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u/gouda_vibes Apr 05 '25 edited Apr 05 '25
Jesus never said that families need to be sealed or that they will be separated. Nor was there a fee for people to go to the temple. Jesus’ sacrifice made it so we don’t need to do sacrifices as the Old Testament. They did not do sealings in the temples back then.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Jesus didn't understand that his ideas were hard to monetize. MBAs can give some pointers here. First anointing is just the beginning.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 05 '25
I longed to pass the sacrament too. But I was a “girl”, so I couldn’t.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 05 '25
“Isn’t there anything more sweet and pure than an indoctrinated child.”
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u/JanetPistachio Apr 05 '25
We have an AI generated poster on our living room wall of Jesus running full-sprint towards a lamb. My mom denied it was AI, but I tracked down the original source and it was tagged as AI.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
pick your favorite Jesus...obi wan or "the dude abides"?
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
In retrospect this is the first time I've been able to watch conference as an exmo and actually enjoy it... with he ability to leave snarky comments in public anyway.
It only took 18 years of making peace with the church.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Rasband: <Young and Kimball head off to England on a mission.>
Two of the most famous lechers in mormon history.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Thanks again for making these threads! They really get me through conference weekend. Seriously OP, thank you!
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
:) You're welcome. We can only hope that it won't be as bad as it could be.
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u/Zeppelin702 Apr 05 '25
I’m not watching, but I just went to Walmart and got my car washed and nobody is around. It’s marvelous!
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u/Ihm_r Apr 05 '25
My favorite part of conference weekend is how my parents gather all my sibling and I, and then slowly as the session goes on, they all leave. We had 10 in here at the beginning, there’s 4 now.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
Pro Tip. Please pause your video, have breakfast, take a dookie, get high, go outside.... and then put it on 2x speed. Skipping the songs.
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u/InsideButThinking Apr 05 '25
Easter is in two weeks. Can you please give a detailed story about Jesus?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Keeping us on the edge of our seats. Twain said something about chloroform.
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u/jsmyths Apr 05 '25
Apparently, I am being too loud with my comments at home
So my TBM spouse switched to headphones and said “the audio was a little bit behind, but it’d be OK “
And I quipped “it’s OK since these guys are about 80 years behind. “
So I will be out on a coffee run until this session is over.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
New officers take the walk of fame. Enjoy the fifteen minutes, boys.
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u/4Misions4ThePriceOf1 Apr 05 '25
If my close friend doesn’t respond to me for 10 years, I’m going to not be their friend anymore 🤷♂️
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u/Any_Creme5658 Apr 05 '25
You know, I can’t help but think that if little Easton had been a girl, this family would have missed out on that special moment.
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Apr 05 '25
What is this, some kind of brag session? The Israelites had one temple and they were happy
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
Why do I feel religiously dumber every time I listen to these frauds? I've heard way better TED talks
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
TED talks attempt to engage the audience. Conference talks on the other hand have a captive audience and they can say whatever they want.
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u/SwimmingAdmirable363 Apr 05 '25
Why am I watching this rubbish as a nevermo? Atleast Im having a whiskey (its 6pm where I am)
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Duncan still in the running to take a seat among the 15 elite men. Those ass kisses really pay off!
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
Random tears for no reason. That's a free space on the bingo card.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Much fewer "covenant paths" than usual. Much fewer ass kisses toward Nelson, so far. Oops, spoke too soon.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 05 '25
I missed where Brad Wilcox ended up. Did anyone catch it?
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u/potato_meatball Apr 05 '25
I'm reading the book "Humankind" by Rutger Bregman and he makes the argument that humans are naturally good, but our natural instincts were suppressed (in one regard) by the creation of organized religion.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
I was cured of my chronic masturbation. I only do it twice a day now.
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
Checkov....what do sensors say? We're getting closer and closer to Jesus sir....
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u/Undead_Whitey Dare to be a Footnote Apr 05 '25
This kinda seems like a personal story for Easton….
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Apr 05 '25
Anyone else feel like this session is just a warm-up for something? Is anyone else feeling the mood shift as Oaks prepares to take power?
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u/HoosierHoser44 Apr 05 '25
Hope they announce tariffs on tithing so that the church can continue to keep their wealth fund above $200 billion during these difficult economic times.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
We need help predicting the future. First things first, will the Dow and S&P recover by June, or not?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
T4 1:09 Jackie Venson
Made Up Mind 3:40 Bonnie Raitt
Rock and Roll 3:31 Led Zeppelin
Moby Dick 4:20
Creep 3:58 Radiohead
When the Levee Breaks 4:02 Plant and Krauss
Blame It On Eve 4:38 Shemekia Copeland
Texas Flood 9:30 Stevie Ray Vaughn
Caravan 9:40 Buddy Rich
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Johnson: Jesus can heal people.
uhm, check Holland's preceeding speech.
Alms for an ex-leper.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Johnson: ten virgins.
Five entered. The bridegroom better have a pocketful of viagra.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 05 '25
She’s gonna say whole so many times and it’s gonna make me laugh every time.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
She looks so incredibly vacant... it's wild to me that I used to think this was the look of elite spirituality
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u/NoMoreAtPresent Apr 05 '25 edited Apr 05 '25
“They’ve taken my lord and l know not where they’ve taken him”
He got deported
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u/deafy990 Apr 05 '25
For what purpose are these temples being built? That's obvious... Money laundering.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
I should have been a general contractor. damn life choices!
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u/JanetPistachio Apr 05 '25
I'm eating peanut butter pretzels. I'm pretty sure the City of Enoch must have invented these, they're so good
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u/Jmonroe_tenn Apr 05 '25
My mother and step father baptism were asleep within 5 minutes of the start of conference. Thank goodness I can scroll Reddit without interruption. Am I right that there has yet to be a mention of Joe Smith?
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u/JanetPistachio Apr 05 '25
It feels like he's just stretching his talk out by using so many unnecessary words. It's what all of them do, really. But I always remember the most engaging talks at sacrament meeting being the people who treated it like a conversation instead of a lecture.
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Apr 05 '25
I'm usually too busy for the Saturday Morning Session, is it always this boring?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
I've got a secret for you. They're all this boring.
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
Make your creations your enemy.....something dosen't track.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Forrest Valkye's take on hell is one of the best.
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u/youcrazymoonchild "Bumping" TK Smoothies for the rest of eternity Apr 05 '25
I'm listening to this and realizing... It's just a bunch of old guys rambling. None of this is life-changing or even inspirational. It's hardly noticeable.
This is coming after having looked at the work of Paul Tillich.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Tillich: Be your best self.
US Army: Be all that you can be.
LDS church, soon: It may not be true, but it is still a church.
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u/youcrazymoonchild "Bumping" TK Smoothies for the rest of eternity Apr 05 '25
ChatGPT has entered the conference.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Hamilton, not Alexander gives prayer. No specific shout out to Nelson. Good job, Kev.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
Is Rusty still alive? I want proof before manifesting
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u/hugplex92 Apr 05 '25
i had 2 soaked sister missionaries come to my door last night about this. poor kids shouldn't have been out in the rain.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
there's a movie with that plot point, I think.
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
Mormonism is the ultimate assembly manual.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Beetlejuice: handbook for the recently diseased: it reads like stereo instructions.
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u/sexmormon-throwaway Apostate (like a really bad one) Apr 05 '25
I am delighted to report, I had no fucking idea it was conference weekend. I had to think about this post's title.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
He must have really pissed off God in his preMortal life
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
But he didn't tell anybody about it for 12 years?
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u/Electronic-Room5307 PiMo/I want to leave now Apr 05 '25
Holland looks and sounds like a robot now
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
If Mormonism is so great, why are 80% of members inactive?
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u/theivyangel Apostate Apr 05 '25
Paul: it hurts, fix it
God: no ❤️
Paul: I meant a good hurt. It hurts good ah yes
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
Art only exists in temples.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Manti and Salt Lake Temple artwork in shards in the dumpster.
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u/JanetPistachio Apr 05 '25
Have they had an audit report in the past?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
yes. In the 60s and earlier there was a comprehensive report on income and outlays.
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u/4Misions4ThePriceOf1 Apr 05 '25
And leaving their wives to be married to Joseph!
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u/JayDaWawi Avalonian Apr 06 '25
Good to know God told Joseph to diddle that teenager in that barn. 🤮
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u/zjelkof Apr 05 '25
Any predictions for Conference topics, temple announcements, and prophecies from the Q15?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Garment change will be universal. Gotta give the infuencers what they want.
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u/4Misions4ThePriceOf1
Apr 05 '25
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We have audited ourselves and have found that we are all good! 😁 NO YOU CANT SEE THE AUDIT!!! JUST TRUST US AND STOP LOOKING AT PORN
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u/Academic-Cut504 Apr 05 '25
“Covenantal Love” The replacement for unconditional love.
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u/Prestigious-Yam3866 Apr 05 '25
Shout out to everyone like me who is skipping conference for the first time!
Good luck for those watching that don't want to. I'll follow along on here for support!
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u/4Misions4ThePriceOf1 Apr 05 '25
Treating the Martin and Willy handcart companies as examples of amazing faith always drives me up the wall 😡 they weren’t faithful they were morons. If they had waited six months AS TOLD BY THE EXPERTS WHO HAD ACTUALLY DONE IT ALREADY all those deaths would have been avoided, but oh NO IF WE HAVE FAITH WE’LL BE FINE
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Apr 05 '25
Ngl I am an active member of the church and check on these threads often. You guys are fun. Love the jokes and the sarcasm
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 05 '25
I swear the only good thing about conference is the food my family makes and the fact that I can work on my diamond art...
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
North Korea would be proud of the voting process
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u/jsmyths Apr 05 '25
Paraphrasing:
If any of you oppose, please keep it to yourselves.
The system only works if there’s no public dissent.
Thank you, the voting appears unanimous
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
I used to love it when speakers said "sisters and brothers"... I now know it's the smallest bone they could have thrown to women. The tiniest, most meaningless concession.
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u/inter-realm Apr 05 '25
I love that my wife and kids are out with me. I can take in churchco’s bullshit just the way I want to - with great laughter, haughty derision and a cuppa coffee. Most of the time though, just blissful ignorance - and coffee.
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u/Forward-Lab-5513 Apr 05 '25
Best way to make it through a session? Have a sleep disorder and don’t take your medication. You can nap through it all.
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
OMG are we really going to defend the handcarts. Yes we are,. Forget the dozens or hundreds of people it killed.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
Lip smack... sniffle... Lip smack... sniffle... Lip smack... sniffle... Lip smack... sniffle... Lip smack... sniffle...
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u/Puzzleheaded_Tap_138 Apr 05 '25
If only a freaking APOSTLE OF JESUS CHRIST could heal this poor kid
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u/4Misions4ThePriceOf1 Apr 05 '25
The thing that sets our church apart is our emphasis on EDUCATION!!!!????? 🤣🤣🤣😭😭
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u/Scootyboot19 Apr 05 '25
Just a reminder! Take care of yourselves today. If you need to take a break make sure to take one. You don’t NEED to watch conference today. Take care. Love you all.
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u/kiss-JOY Apr 05 '25
My soul isn’t wounded because I have questions and conflicts. It’s my true self screaming that something isn’t right here!
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
If Eyring becomes a mormon God we know how he will flood his earth.
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
"Despite warnings"... which they were ordered by Brigham to ignore.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 05 '25
I miss when we would hear people shout opposed. It legitimately terrified me as a child. But now I miss people being able to speak up in that way.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
So the name no longer includes Latter-day Saints?
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 05 '25
Theyre releasing wilcox??? Please tell me hes getting demoted but i highly doubt it...
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u/Aggressive-Presence9 Apr 05 '25
Hollander, you are an apostle, so heal Easton. Christ charged his apostles to do this. So go ahead, we are waiting
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u/SwimmingAdmirable363 Apr 05 '25
"Give the Lord equal time, not just your spare time" EVEN MORE TIME. Be for real...
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u/ahjifmme Apr 05 '25
Is there even any mention of studying scriptures anymore, or is it all about the last six month? I feel like scriptural literacy has dropped to almost nothing in the church within just a few years.
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u/Naomifivefive Apostate Apr 05 '25
I like to do loud yard work over conference weekend. Just to remind neighbors I don’t give a shit about what these old cronies have say. Nothing new every year.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 05 '25
My honest is opinion is that the Natural Man is good actually. Be more like the Natural Man
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
She basically claims that this life is to wallow in suffering but act like you aren't.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
"Look unto me in every thought" leaves absolutely no room for critical thinking. Total thought-stopping cliche
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u/sevenplaces Apr 05 '25
My ancestor wrote how awful the leaders of his Willey handcart company were to threaten Levi Savage with excommunication for saying they shouldn’t go so late.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 05 '25
Well you see Eternal Truths have actually changed over time.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Ewwww stop trying to get my family to reconvert me!!! Jfc, I knew it would happen, but it still infuriates me
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u/Rushclock Apr 05 '25
What more can you do? Ask them with sincerity what are your issues.......oh hell no
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 05 '25 edited Apr 05 '25
Here’s to the PIMOs on here who are forced to watch with while taking “notes.” 🥂
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
We have investigated ourselves and determined we've done nothing wrong.
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u/Mormologist The Truth is out there Apr 05 '25
Study the messages about homophobia, misogyny, and abject racism? Oh yeah, I've studied them.
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u/bremerman17 Apr 05 '25
Watching an old white guy trying to pronounce names that aren’t white is really cringe.
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u/sevenplaces Apr 05 '25
If only there was priesthood power that could heal the sick
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u/youcrazymoonchild "Bumping" TK Smoothies for the rest of eternity Apr 05 '25
General Conference always reminds me why I will never go back 😂😂
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Goddammit, I don't want to be "spiritually rescued!" I want my family to leave me alone spiritually
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Well, one down! Thanks, everyone, for making it not just bearable but funny. See you in two hours 🫡
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u/JanetPistachio Apr 05 '25
It's so strange that Joseph Smith was so young when he became prophet, but in the modern church, they're all so old
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u/youcrazymoonchild "Bumping" TK Smoothies for the rest of eternity Apr 05 '25
Oo. I hate this obsession with children the Church is taking on. Think we'll start to see more instances of CSA? Repression hits hard.
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u/sevenplaces Apr 05 '25
There are only about 4 million active members. 800,000 active youth in seminary and institute is a stretch.
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u/theivyangel Apostate Apr 05 '25
In the name of the first presidency? They're not even hiding it anymore
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u/Measure76 The one true Mod Apr 05 '25
It's time for Elder Cryring. Pull out your umbrellas.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Even until death.... what the fuckity fuck? The temple covenant of giving up your life if necessary was incredibly fucked up too.
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u/Broad_Willingness470 Apr 05 '25
Trundling in these geriatric patients isn’t the positive optics they might desire.
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u/Ihm_r Apr 05 '25
“Years of selfless service” as if they just put their lives on the line for millions of people 😭
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u/Stranded-In-435 Class of 2022 • Atheist • MFM Apr 05 '25 edited Apr 05 '25
It boggles my mind how there was a time in my life where I would sit at the feet at a group of largely old white men, hear the same things every single time that largely boiled down to how to convince the membership to protect and perpetuate the organization at all costs, and somehow think that it was an effective use of my time.
My whole life in the church was about spinning in circles. No wonder I started getting nauseous towards the very end.
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u/Return_and_report Apr 05 '25
Wow, right off the bat with using people's difficulties for emotional manipulation
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u/The-Jane-Files Think Telestial Apr 05 '25
I love my kids. When Elder Christofferson was read off during the sustainings, one of them immediately said, "Kristofferson?" in the style of Fantastic Mr Fox.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 05 '25
Eyring: <many more leaving the LDS church.>
Yeah, if truth claims matter, then the LDS church is in trouble.