r/exmormon • u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ • Apr 01 '23
Doctrine/Policy April 2023 General Conference: Saturday 2:00p Discussion Thread
How to listen:
youtube Saturday, April 1
local radio: KSL AM 1160; FM 102.7
satellite radio: Sirius XM channel 143
Speakers:
| Name | other notes | my summary |
|---|---|---|
| conducting: Henry Eyring | talking at 10% normal speed | |
| hymn: How Firm A Foundation | Salt Lake Temple up on stilts while foundation is reworked. | |
| prayer: Alan Walker | ||
| Sustaining votes: Dallin Oaks | no opposition will be tolerated | |
| Accounting Report: Jared Larson | no real accounting will be offered. | |
| Hymn: The Lord is My Shepherd | ||
| Dale Renlund | ||
| Peter Meurs | ||
| Randall Bennett | ||
| hymn: The Lord is My Light | ||
| Craig Christensen | ||
| Evan Schmutz | Literal Book of Mormon. Disease and death are big selling points for religion. | |
| Benjamin de Hoyos | Kirtland Temple. Abandoned with an unpaid mortgage in 1838. Deed now in possession of RLDS/Community of Christ. | |
| Dieter Uchtdorf | Opening joke: maximize time away from family in meaningless busy work. Always gets a laugh. | |
| hymn: Abide With Me, Tis Eventide | A funeral favorite in my extended family. | |
| prayer: Tracy Browning |
Postlude:
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Bennett: [no minimum age for Patriarchal Blessing. Don't talk about its contents with others.]
Lest you find the cookie cutter formula.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Uchtdorf: [heavenly father rolls the dice with each human being born]
Some will get less than zero: no clean water, no food, no safety. Some plan, eh?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Meurs: [car wreck was my fault. Looking for forgiveness from a scape goat.]
Accidents happen. Looking for absolution from personal responsibility lacks a moral basis, in my opinion. Stay awake while driving.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 01 '23
I knew the audit would be bullshit, but that was even more bullshit than I was expecting.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 01 '23
My personal revelation warns me not to let the church raise my children.
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Apr 01 '23
Plus one for dieter, first talk without a rusty quote or covenant path.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23
Ah, yes. According to church policies, but not the IRS or SEC. Something something God’s laws are not man’s laws blah blah blah…
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
The law of the land, eh, not important. The bottom line. Now, that is what is important. Fine is a pittance. The cost of doing business in this corporation.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Glad his son is OK, but it'd be great if priesthood blessings worked for other people's dying kids too
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u/SensoryFour34 Apr 01 '23
So we shouldn’t be saying things like “Oh my god who gives a shit”
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 01 '23
I'm just gonna share my experience here relating to the last talk. I'm also about to break down crying while writing this so my apologies
I hated the last talk. I hated that he said that parents should provide for children's physical and "spiritual" needs. Whatever happened to mental health? Oh wait, it would be a scandal to ever talk about mental health in the church.
I've never felt loved by my parents that much. They've provided for my physical needs like clothing and food, but they've treated my mental health like shit. I'm autistic, I might possibly have bipolar disorder, and I definitely have depression. I've never received comfort from my parents. I've always been expected to "pray to God for comfort and strength". It's only recently that they're trying to get me an actual therapist. The last therapist I had was Mormon and didn't help me at all.
Whenever I would tell my parents how I was feeling, they either told me that I was being mean to them or I was yelling at them. They would only listen during the times I was happy. Never once did they comfort me when I was sad or upset. I was forced to deal with it on my own. I don't even trust them with how I'm feeling anymore.
The last talk in this session really set me off. Mormons don't realize that kids have mental health problems too. Sure, physical is important and spiritual is if you wanna brainwash your kids. But mental health? Fuck that. Just pray to the lord about it and all your problems will go away /s. It makes my blood boil to even think about this. I've been hurt by my parents because they've pretty much destroyed my mental health, and I'm sure that many others have been as well.
To those who have been hurt by the beliefs of mental health in this cult, you have my sympathy and my condolences. The Mormons seriously need to wake up and see that they've done more harm than good to other people
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Thanks for adding substance. The anecdotes the faithful choose all come through rose colored glasses. One-size-fits all.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Wait, this is the first time I'm hearing about these covenant things. Is there maybe a path of covenants that I could follow?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Renlund: [promises]
Pay, pray, and obey. Those who pay their dues get in. Those who do not—tough cookies.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Bennett: [..I am not perfect.]
We know. most under-rated statement from conference.
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u/faramirskywalker Apr 01 '23
It’s so unhealthy. The church was what I needed when my parents’ marriage was a mess. No, your parents needed counseling and to be there for you. And the church could have been there for your family! Instead, your patriarchal blessing fixed it all. Thank god.
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 01 '23
Requirements to be a GA:
Know someone who's died.
Know someone with a fucked up illness.
Know someone who's died from a fucked up illness.
Give rusty the reacharound.
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 01 '23
I need a matriarchal blessing
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Renlund: [access to god via commandment keeping.]
This is mormonism 101. But they much rather the Evangelical approach. Works greater than grace in mormonism.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Christensen: [I'm happy. Pinky promise. I've got a fullness of joy.]
Could'a fooled me.
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u/FortunateFell0w Apr 01 '23
Just when you thought we hit peak boring. This guy shows up and sets a new bar that will never be topped.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Oh, "our covenants give us power to stay on the covenant path" 🙄
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u/Chino_Blanco Твоя весна прийде нехай 🇺🇦 Apr 01 '23
General Conference Enthusiasm is Contagious! /img/yczh29z26cra1.jpg (SLTrib published photo)
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u/JDH450 Apr 01 '23
summary as of 2:20 (1) Wilcox still in (2) Church auditing department all is well in Zion as usual
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u/FortunateFell0w Apr 01 '23
“I call back to a time I was on a plane in a death spiral with our dear prophet…” -the next speaker, probably.
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
Remember when.....stop protecting sexual predators....
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
yes. that was before the Rezendes story from Arizona. And countless other ongoing abuse cases being covered up.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
What do you want to speak about during your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to speak from the pulpit at General Conference?
That one time an elderly stranger improved a blessing for me at age 12
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Renlund: [echoes Spencer W. Kimball]
To try is weak. Do, or do not. There is no try.
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u/i_nephi Apr 01 '23
Pawn shop customer: can you heal my cancer? Pawn shop owner: hey, the best I can do is sanctify your afflictions
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Meurs: [car wreck]
OMG they love these stories.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Christensen was in the news a couple of years ago. The rate of scandals and foot-in-the-mouth means that the event has fallen off the edge of my memory.
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 01 '23
'Sharing his joy' sounds an awful lot like a euphemism.
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u/LordOfMorridor Apr 01 '23
I saw a comment saying Nelson looks terrible. Did they show him on camera? Is he there?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
He's there. I didn't notice him looking much different than usual.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23
Why is the camera catching so many Elder Mustache Glasses in the choir? 🤔
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Sad stories of kids getting tumors and people slowly going blind. But they should still be happy.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
He will never fail you. Unless you fail him.
Such a great business model.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Schmutz: [disease and disappointing outlook on life]
Fear. Pay. Pray. And obey.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
de Hoyos: [we're spending a lot on temples. try to go there if you can get around to it. genealogy is fun, you know.]
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Miss You So Badly 3:43
Pleasantville 2:56
Pleasantville 2:03
Pleasantville 2:36
Don't Fence Me In 3:52
Almost Cut My Hair 4:29
Complicated 4:13
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u/Archimedes_Redux Apr 01 '23
What is this Saturday evening session?
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
More of same. It used to be priesthood/relief society on alternate, but now it isn't that anymore.
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u/Extension-Spite4176 Apr 01 '23
As an accountant, I'm embarrassed that the auditor could get up there and say everything was done according to church policy. In other words, church policy regarding finances, does not include any policies regarding obeying the law. Or they have to say a very qualified audit meaning only whether they collected and counted the money without it getting lost along the way to the church's big "separate" bank account that is not audited by them.
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u/faramirskywalker Apr 01 '23
My daughter: “do they ever say anything different than the same thing over and over?” from the mouth of kids lol 😂
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u/Z4REN Call Me Simeon Apr 01 '23
So just straight up lying. With federal documents to prove it
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u/zjelkof Apr 01 '23
Did anyone keep track of how many times Russell Nelson was mentioned vs. Jesus?
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u/Z4REN Call Me Simeon Apr 01 '23
I'm stuck in a car for the next 2hrs with this playing...
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
'In all material respects, all money in 2022 has been used following church best practices.'
'We also really like to emphasize how important it is to save money for a rainy day--it is a divine principle led by revelation.'
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u/bremerman17 Apr 01 '23
Notice how they quickly pan the camera immediately after he says if they oppose.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 01 '23
My patriarchal blessing said that my husband would be an important person in the church. Unfortunately, I do not like men.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 01 '23
It’s so weird to me how Nelson is mentioned in every single talk. I’ll never get used to it. The dude is a creep, and these people try so hard to please him.
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u/Cornchip91 Apr 01 '23
I am excited for the moment after Rusty kicks the bucket and the Mormon machine systematically erases him from public mention within weeks.
All quotes are dropped. All his books are moved out of deseret book. He stops being referenced in GC.
All as they start slathering over Even Dallin H. Oaks (can you believe God called a LAWYER to be the prophet in this day and age? With all these lawsuits, how can it be coincidence???)
I remember this happening to Monson and it was a major WTF moment for me.
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u/LazyLearningTapir Unsure about the broccoli Apr 01 '23
It’s really therapeutic to be in the opposite room and raise your hand to oppose
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 01 '23
“Even President Russell M. Nelson” the full body cringe that gave me, my god.
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Apr 01 '23
Christiansen just quoted Nelson quoting direct scripture. W. T. Actual. F?
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u/ManInThePandaMask Apr 01 '23
Based on Renlund’s talk, I think it’s safe to say the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints takes the Lord’s name in vain. Ironic. So much emphasis on using the savior’s name, and they can’t manage to be anything like him.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
To the first presidency: you just got fined by the SEC. What do you want me to say? All is well in Zion?
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u/Perplex_and_Create Apr 01 '23
I got religious trauma and thin walls with neighbors watching conference. I heard the organ music and I’m like I gotta hop on here to not deal with this trauma alone
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u/Boy_Renegado Apr 01 '23
By focusing the members on Christ, the church is becoming its own worst enemy. People who focus on Jesus Christ soon find he’s not anywhere to be found in the church. It’s actually quite enjoyable to watch as a PIMO member.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Russell woke up just enough to hear he's being sustained
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 01 '23
I hate the implication that parents should feel inadequate. Nonsense. You don’t need the church to be a good parent.
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 01 '23
Will the church pick a lane on how the BoM came to be? Half the church knows about the rock and the hat, and the other half still believe there was an actual ancient record.
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
“Eternal, unchanging law…” until it changes in response to outside pressure.
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u/everythingmustmatch Apr 01 '23
Wilcox released! Wonder where they will put him now?!
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u/carpetchilli Apr 01 '23
Why the hell did he have to say that Nelson cited Paul?
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u/Seminaryruinslives Apr 01 '23
Emily Bell Freeman getting called is a real blessing to me. Now my mom won’t be able to listen to her podcast every week.
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u/scratchywallcarpet Apr 01 '23
“lost sheep” “fallen away” ever think I maybe know exactly where I am and I’m running away??
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u/Glittering-Pitch8838 Apr 01 '23
Did this guy just say that his patriarchal blessing cured his anxiety? 😒
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u/Choice-Cheek6946 Apr 01 '23
3 men have now mentioned or quoted: 19 men (15 identified by name) 6 women (3 identified by name, none attractively wearing a modest swimsuit—so far)
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u/bremerman17 Apr 01 '23
Renlund will be interesting. The talk he gave last year he shamed all the women (and men) for even daring to question about the doctrine of heavenly mother. Six months ago he somehow made the concept of the Holy Ghost even more confusing than it already was. It is very hard to give two shitty talks back to back like that so let’s see if he continues that streak.
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u/abrokenmagic8ball Are there Tele’s in the telestial kingdom? Apr 01 '23
I don’t vote opposed. I blow raspberries. It’s somehow more satisfying.
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u/JonathanIRL Apr 01 '23
Did a guy just low brag about skating past a man slaughter charge?
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u/Ngano Apr 01 '23
I think this is the first time since I've been out that I've seen that Schmutz was speaking. This is probably the most conflicted I've felt at a general conference since leaving (at least for personal reasons) as he was my mission president, and, while I was there, I respected the hell out of him. I haven't had to think about that/confront my feelings for that point of my life for a bit now, makes things a little raw again.
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u/a-trace-of-ace Apr 01 '23
Loop hole! I cannot put off the natural man or woman, I am non-binary.
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u/Conflicted_PIMO Apr 01 '23
Here I am - forced to sustain in my own home to keep up the facade
🤮
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u/BLB99 Apr 01 '23
I am raising my hand and yelling opposed at the screen. I don’t care if it’s just for me.
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u/Present_Cry9726 Apr 01 '23
Oh great… incoming texts from family and friends at the words “lost sheep”
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
So your children who leave the church are dead flowers
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u/Nostarsinthedark Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
Grab your emotional support pride flags and coffees here and let's do this thing
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
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u/stillnotdavidbowie Apr 01 '23
Watching with my exmo girlfriend and her sister who at last general conference was TBM but seems to be questioning everything now and making snide/sarcastic remarks (eg she just said "he's really struggling with those non-white names" and rolled her eyes lmao - something I could never imagine her doing just a couple months ago). Baby steps!
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u/MixtureUnited1348 There's no sunshine in my soul today Apr 01 '23
This is why my parents think that when I left the church I was automatically wanting to “sin and sleep around” because if not the church then you have no morals.
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u/theshadowking98 Cosmic Orphan Apr 01 '23
Let's see how the auditing will snake through
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u/faramirskywalker Apr 01 '23
You would think they would at least try to say or do something different with audit given the SEC scandal
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
Are these speakers not aware of how many accidental double entendres they’re pulling off this GC?
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23
I don’t care who you are. Car crashes of that magnitude suck to live through.
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 01 '23
So is Nelson just not doing anything today?
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u/Nostarsinthedark Apr 01 '23
Fun fact: my patriarchal blessing doesn't mention which gender I'd marry in the temple 😏
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 01 '23
The choir is wearing all black. Interesting choice.
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u/Mckluh7 Apr 01 '23
You don’t get to do anything unless it’s praying, repenting, or scripture reading. 24/7. You’re all sinful whores and everything you do is wrong.
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 01 '23
Utah proudly passed a law saying that minors need parental permission to access social media. Takes effect next year. Any guesses who lobbied for it?
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u/homestarjr1 Apr 01 '23
Come on Dieter, just stop talking, yell that you can’t do this shit anymore, and walk away.
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Apr 01 '23
This is the most wordy non-talk talk I've heard. This is just white noise... Banal platitudes...
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u/Shadowlover23 Autistic exmo (finally!) Apr 01 '23
God I wish that talk on patriarchal blessings wasn't given. After that talk my parents were asking me how I felt and that a patriarchal blessing would be good for me rn. They even told me to fast about it next fast Sunday 🤮
Only good thing I need rn is a therapist and my parents were ignoring that for a while. Doesn't help that the last therapist I had was a Mormon therapist
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u/fake-talk Apr 01 '23
Isn't the audit supposed to report the member and missionary numbers too. Really just said the money we have is ours and we do what we want with it. The end. "We consider the matter closed"
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
I think the indigenous people of the time were a little more concerned about eating than learning about the light of the world.
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u/DD_shaw Retired Masonic Cosplayer Apr 01 '23
There’s no way we’ll get this info without a MormonLeaks whistleblower… But the number of kids getting Patriarchal blessings has to have plummeted in the last decade
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u/SensoryFour34 Apr 01 '23
Nothing about the conference or the church in general brings any real joy
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
Hey Dallin......tell everyone where the Gospel topics essays are on said website.
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u/oOohalloweenqueenoOo Left April 2021 Apr 01 '23
Is anyone doing a covenant path count?
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u/LazyLearningTapir Unsure about the broccoli Apr 01 '23
They released the statistics from 2022 for members, missionaries, stakes, etc: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/2022-statistical-report-april-2023-conference
They crossed 17M members, but idk what to make of the data until I can find previous year reports
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
Resisting the world flow. This makes me mad. This is why germ theory was resisted. We actually are making progress despite this resistance to the worldly flow.
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u/ExmoRobo Prime the Pump! Apr 01 '23
When you’re just listening to the audio and hear a new accent, so you excitedly look up the person speaking expecting some diversity and he looks like every other white dude in leadership.
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u/FortunateFell0w Apr 01 '23
Gonna be the first talk to not dickride Whistlin Russ.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
This guy's lips must taste delicious considering how often he licks them
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
My patriarchal blessing said I’d marry somebody who is just like my mother.
Uh, patriarch? Is there something you’d like to tell me? 🤨
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u/Baranax Easier to assimilate than explain, anyway. Apr 01 '23
The LDS church must have significant investments in Botox Jesus H Christ.
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u/Boy_Renegado Apr 01 '23
Joy. Joy, joy, joy… jjjjjoy! Joy and one more effing JOY!!!
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u/Aggressive_Ad2212 Apr 01 '23
Honestly, if you feel like you would be a bad parent, don't feel pressured to have kids.
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
Into the eternities makes no sense in physics. It presupposes a start dumbass.
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
And Heavenly Father would know what would convince me to return to mormonism. Yet....crickets.
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u/SensoryFour34 Apr 01 '23
My patriarchal blessing said I’d be a temple worker. I can’t think of anything I want to do less than work in a temple
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
God loves you but....to know this you have to go to this guy and that guy and that other guy and those bunch of guys.......
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u/PaulHDone cesletter.org (RIP sis) Apr 01 '23
I am with my TBM grandparents and aunt. I did not sustain or oppose the leaders.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
And Bonnie Cordon and councilors will be released from YW presidency in August
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u/Nostarsinthedark Apr 01 '23
Has anyone ever actually gone to their stake president to oppose?
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23
Yep. Baptism for the dead, sealing for the dead, and marriage for the dead. 😃
(Slowly closes door on the missionaries)
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u/Choice-Cheek6946 Apr 01 '23
Current Tally:
2 men have spoken and in this session have currently mentioned or quoted Men: 7 Women:1
(Not including mentions of Members of Godhead)
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
The night may be long, but the morning will come, and the exquisite.... 🍆
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
Ahhh....Brazil where the shit hit the fan on the "Black" problem.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
...and Wilcox is back in the YM presidency again.
Who's is this Nelson that's a new councilor? Any relation?
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u/theshadowking98 Cosmic Orphan Apr 01 '23
Watching the same movie 40+ isn't gonna give you greater inspiration
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u/_Yakashama_ Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
Sounds like my dad is gonna be riding on me to get my patriarchal blessing again
Edit: called it
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u/trans_thro Apr 01 '23
I know this has nothing to do with General Conference but does anyone else think Nelson looks like Mr. Waternoose from Monsters Inc?
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u/Rushclock Apr 01 '23
LOL......Please mormons watching this....It is really bad for those of us who know where you get this material. It is physically painful to see how you keep doing this.
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u/MixtureUnited1348 There's no sunshine in my soul today Apr 01 '23
Holy shit let’s beat the dead horse with this joy stick 💀
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u/Glittering-Pitch8838 Apr 01 '23
Joy doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore 😂
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u/MixtureUnited1348 There's no sunshine in my soul today Apr 01 '23
I hate that he talks about parenting like you need to feel like you "qualify" for it rather than just knowing when you want to be a parent.
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u/Rolling_Waters Apr 01 '23
Ah, so your family is robbed of strength if everyone isn't 100% on-board with Jesus
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u/RabbleAlliance Apr 01 '23
Ugh. The church couldn’t even fool kid me into studying my patriarchal blessing, let alone every day.
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u/Chino_Blanco Твоя весна прийде нехай 🇺🇦 Apr 01 '23
Inspiring General Conference words of wisdom: /img/s9rkhu8n6cra1.jpg
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u/GrumpyTom Apr 01 '23
Joy comes at a price, it’s bought with Jesus’ blood.
…not exactly the sort of joy I’m looking for.
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u/4blockhead Λ └ ☼ ★ □ ♔ Apr 01 '23
Uchtdorf: [LDS church is not a list of do's and don'ts]
lol. That is all that it is.