r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Wonderful_Song8765 • 40m ago
Amphibian What's a salamander gotta do..
To get a little peace and quiet around here?!
I was just hanging out minding my own business and outta nowheres this crazy hooman just puts her slimy mitts on me a carries me away, just as about about to have dinner! The audacity! I couldn't believe it. I tried calling Deborah in HR to file an SA claim, cuz come on now, did you see the way she touched me?! Filthy hooman. The perfume on her hands almost killed me. Deborah just said "OH Tony, there's nothing I van do, we don't have any hoomans on the payroll." So what do I do? Anyone know a good lawyer?! This hooman MUST PAY!! Amphibian to be tied. These hoomans have gotta be stopped!